Unliving
by Gesserit
Summary: COMPLETE! A dark, gothic, supernatural world opens to investigation journalist Kagome when she sets out to write the story of her life, in the quiet land of western Europe. Sesshoumaru sama has a dirtier secret than she thought. Vampire? lemons warning
1. Prologue

Full summary... here goes. Kagome's a half-hanyou, in a world that acknowledges both youkai and human races, although pure-blooded youkai are rarely seen these days. She talks her father into allowing her to travel to this great estate in England, which belongs to Sesshoumaru-sama. He's a great taiyoukai, one of the last alive, and she wants to make his estate open to the public, because she's a cultural freak and works for this big magazine. So she goes there undercover, to both serve her own and her father's purpose, because the bad-ass Sesshoumaru woudn't let her in if she said she was a reporter. What she doesn't expect, though, is the great taiyoukai to have a much darker secret that everyone assumed.

This is somewhat based on Bram Stoker's Dracula and a lot based on Vampire: The Masquerade. And yes, I know that Muncaster Castle is real and open for visitation, but bare with me.

I do not own Inuyasha, Dracula or Vampire:The Masquerade. Nor do I own Muncaster Castle. Unfortunately.

:---:

UNLIVING

Prologue

"You _do_ know that I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, don't you, chichiue?" She was giving her father a slightly annoyed and know-it-all look, much like the one she had given him when she announced she would be a journalist instead of taking over his business, five years ago.

Higurashi Kazuki stood behind his massive mahogany office, and looked out the window. Tokyo was as alive as ever. And as tiresome. The world spread at his feet, and he felt… old. Now, his only daughter, Kagome, was asking him to send her into this trip… in Europe, of all places!

"Why the sudden interest in my business, Kagome? You've made it clear five years ago that you wouldn't take over, under any circumstances. Why do you want to go to The United Kingdom in the company's behalf?" his words were calm, and he stroked his short beard, still eyeing the metropolis beneath him.

She shook her head a little, shifting her weight on the other foot, and crossing her arms.

"I'm not only doing this for you, dad! I mean, I could be doing both your… _inspection _and my story! I do have the proper qualification. You should know, you've _forced_ me to work here sine I was sixteen!"

He ignored the emphasis on _forced_. He hadn't forced her, she was getting rebellious since her mother's death, and something had to be done. So he applied the only correction he knew of. Discipline by work.

"Your story?" his words were still calm. How she hated him being a hanyou! He still had that certain _something_ from the demon side, the _something _she lacked. Her blood was too diluted from her mother's human side.

"That castle is practically an historical monument, dad. And that damn Sesshoumaru-sama-whatever-his-last-name-is won't even consider allowing visitation! It's a story waiting to be written!"

Higurashi-sama slowly turned his chair around. A sly smile was lighting his features.

"You need a cover." It was a statement. She simply shrugged her shoulders.

"He'd never let you in if he knew you were a reporter."

"Investigation journalist." She corrected. "And in charge of the cultural department, nonetheless." She seemed proud.

A few silent and awkward moments went by, as she awaited his answer. At some point, her patience –which in itself wasn't that much of an asset anyway! - ran out, and she insisted.

"Daad?" she dragged the word, and eyed him expectantly, eyes wide open and all.

"Come on, dad, please? What have you got to lose? My magazine's distributed worldwide, and this story's bound to raise some eyebrows! The cultural environment has to take a stand!"

"Well aren't you the unwavering one!" her father mocked her, still considering the request. She puffed out air, in a _slightly_ unsympathetic manner, and fleetingly looked aside.

"With one condition." Her father said, coldly. She almost stepped back. He was giving her The Look. The look that said he meant business. Suddenly, she felt like one of the CEO's whose companies were taken over by _Higurashi Inc_.

"What?" she managed to ask, trying to keep her voice steady. She knew it would come, this moment. The moment in which her father would win over her.

"When you return, you will accept succession to my position in _Higurashi Inc._ No arguments. No bargains. Take it or leave it."

Ta-daa! There it was! _The moment_, in all its glory. She could have sworn she saw a lightning flash through his purple, inhuman eyes. But, there was no choice. At least, there would be several years - long years, she hoped – until her father would step down.

"Deal." She said, and he nodded in content.

"That's my girl." She threw her head back and let out a short laugh.

"You're something else, Kazuki." He leaned his head to the side, and she sighed.

"Okay, chichiue! I won't call you by your first name anymore…" she smiled, recalling that she had started to call him Kazuki when she …ahem… went rebellious, and he threatened he would disinherit her. Since then, she would only call him "chichiue" when she wanted a favor. And this was a huge favor… which he had sucked of way more than it was worth, truth be told!

"I'll just go have some lunch and come back in an hour or so. You do the paperwork, okay? Bye-bye!" she waved her hand goodbye and threw him a schoolgirl's giggle, before exiting the large, luxurious office.

Kazuki sighed deeply, and shook his head. 'What's she planning this time, I wonder?' Kagome never gave up anything that easily. She was a fighter, he knew it all too well. Hell, she had fought _him_ until she escaped the imprisonment from _Higurashi Inc_., didn't she? And he was no weak adversary, mind you.

"Sango?" he said, pushing a button on the board carved into the desk.

"Hai, Higurashi-sama." Responded a prompt, lively voice. His secretary was the most effective employee he had ever had… aside the fact that she was one of Kagome's best friends.

"Instruct my beloved daughter to stop smirking and go eat her lunch, we have much to work on later today." There was a slight _click_, and Sango had to hold back a giggle, while responding.

"Hai, Higurashi-sama." _Click_

Kagome was seated on Sango's office, a genuine haven when it came to order and discipline. It was like she was obsessive-compulsive, or something. She was so neat and orderly, all the time! As opposed to Kagome, who was a true mess! Hey, at least she did get the job done, right? And very _damn_ well, if one might add!

"I'd better be going, or Kazuki will have my head on a silver platter, for dinner today." Kagome joked, and Sango gave her a look of disapproval.

"See ya later!" she yelled down the corridor, while heading for the elevator. Sango had an expression on her face that said "_She's going to tear this place to shreds the moment she becomes in charge. God help us all!_"

"See ya." Sango murmured, sure that her friend wouldn't hear her, even with all the echo on the floor.

'Damned, these hallways are long… And hollow.' Kagome thought, as she made her way to the elevator, still chewing on how to slip out of the deal she just made with her father. She simply could _not_ stand to be in a place like this. It was… for all accounts… boring!

'There has to be some way I can escape this time, too!' But, first thing was first, and for now she had to figure out her cover. After she would return from Europe, she would think about ditching her father. She pressed the button, and the heavy doors of the elevator opened with a metallic sound.

A last glimpse towards Sango's office revealed the reason why Kagome could never work in this place. _Order and discipline._ 'Bleah!' she thought, as she entered the metallic cage, and pressed the last button. She was hungry.

Three quarters of her table were covered with paperwork, notes and sketches. The plate rested in front of her, half emptied, and she was waiting for her coffee to come. She was drinking too much coffee, she was aware of it. She waved the waitress to take away the leftovers. She hadn't been that hungry, after all.

Looking over the map, she thanked God she'd achieved the Cambridge Certificate for English; otherwise she couldn't have possibly made out that damned thing! Actually, English wasn't the only foreign language she spoke. There were French and Spanish too, but really… those were just for fun. English she _needed_.

"Where the _hell_ is Ravenglass?" she murmured, following a railroad with her finger, along Cumbria, until she reached the train station. She hated trains.

"A-ha!" she exclaimed, when her finger reached Ravenglass. It was merely a village.

"Now… where's the damn airport?" she muttered, chasing a symbol across the map. She found it allright! No less than 43 miles away!

"Damn. What is this… Blackpool Airport." She announced, solemnly.

"What's with these people? Ravenglass, Blackpool… Creepy." She merely arched her eyebrows and proceeded to inspecting the map.

Muncaster Castle was placed at the crossing of three rivers, rather isolated in the middle of the estate. It was a beautiful site, and Kagome inwardly cursed its owner for not allowing visitation. It wasn't only a national treasure. Travelers from all around the world were supposed to be able to see it, and enjoy its beauty.

She didn't know if her mother being English had raised this aversion against the injustice she witnessed, but nevertheless she_ had_ to do something! And anyway, her English citizenship gave her many advantages in the matter. Sometimes, she wondered at the incredible mixture that collided to form her.

She was a quarter youkai, from her father's side, half Nippon, and half English. She had both citizenships, but she lived in Tokyo. And worked for a cultural magazine distributed worldwide. 'Great going, Higurashi!' she imaginarily winked at herself.

Looking at the map, she sincerely hoped that Lord Sesshoumaru would send a car for her. She hated trains.

"The Lake District of Cumbria. I wonder what's it like." She sighed, as a distant memory of her childhood in London came to her mind.

It was the time before her mother's death. All the money in the world couldn't save her from cancer, and that's why the young Kagome swore, the moment she touched her mother's pale and cold corpse, that she will never work to gain a fortune, like her father.

Instead, she worked to gain knowledge, she traveled across the world, in search of stories, in search of people and places worth seeing, and worth telling a story about. She didn't make as much money as she would have, if she was to work with her father, but it was enough, and she had the joy of traveling eight months per year.

Almost all her stories were written while traveling, not after she returned. She simply caught that moment when she was in the middle on her story, and described it truthfully. The coldness of a desk couldn't provide the _feeling_ she needed to write it down.

"Your coffee, miss." The waitress woke Kagome from her memories. She vaguely looked up and smiled at the young woman, who left after placing the steaming cup in front of her. She absently took a sip, and returned her eyes on the map.

'At least the great Lord is Nippon. Won't have much trouble there…' she thought, wondering how a Japanese nobleman possessed an English estate. And for centuries. She shrugged her shoulders, coming to the conclusion that being one of the last pure-blooded youkai in the world certainly had its advantages. The guy must have been centuries old.

Suddenly, she felt a tremendous urge to rush her departure. She took another sip from the coffee, and gestured to the waitress to bring her the check. Within twenty minutes, she was in the elevator, heading for the last floor in _Higurashi Inc._, with a thick file in hands and the bag with her laptop inside.

The doors opened and she again dreaded the metallic, hollow noise, shaking her head. She rapidly walked down the corridor, at the end of which opened a large hall with Sango's office, guarding two very high, massive, dark doors. Her father's office.

"Hi, I'm back." She waved at her friend, pushing the large door open, not noticing Sango's protests.

Kagome stood in the doorframe, wondering what the hell her boyfriend was doing there. He had met her father two years ago, and seen him …like… two times since then.

"Inuyasha? What are you doing here?" she entered the office, shooting a confused glimpse at her father. Higurashi-sama was calmly seated at his desk, resting against the large chair's back. Sango discretely closed the door, and returned to her desk.

"I don't want you to go, Kagome." He said, in that annoying tone of voice she always heard from him, when he wasn't pleased with something.

She almost laughed.

"What? And you're asking Kazuki… uhm… chichiue, not to let me go? I _am_ a grownup for quite some time, you know!" she could feel her temper getting the better of her, looking into his fiery eyes. Another damn hanyou at her throat. Will this never end?

"Look, Inuyasha…" she cut him off, before he could get a chance to say something

"… I'm going, and that's that. I don't care you're _afraid_ of Lord Sesshoumaru! I am not. And chichiue trusts me with this, so what's any concern of yours?" She knew her words would anger him. Yet, it was what she felt, and thought, and she always spoke out what she thought.

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed a bit, and she could hear a growl from his chest.

"I'm not _afraid_ of him! I'm _worried_ for you. He's dangerous, and you know that. You can't ignore his past, Kagome. Stop being so stubborn!" he breathed heavy, which told her he was restraining his anger.

"We live in the twenty-first century, and he will not kill me if I lack manners at dinner, Inuyasha! He can't just do that, even if he _does_ control an empire!"

'An empire built on industrial espionage, although never proved…' she added, to herself.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and shook his head helplessly, then he turned his head to Kazuki.

"Please talk her out of this, Higurashi-sama. It's nothing but trouble." He said, but the hanyou behind the desk seemed in no hurry to step into this fight. Eventually, the only thing he said was:

"My daughter is old enough to know what she wants, and old enough to know what she can do. This is her choice and I will not interfere."

"Thank you!" Kagome shouted, and threw Inuyasha an _I-told-you-so_ look.

All he could do was close his eyes for a moment and walk out, after a bow towards her father.

"See ya when I get back!" she said, flatly, but he didn't respond.

"I think he's not happy with my choices…" Kagome sarcastically said, looking at her father. Higurashi-sama shook his head.

"Do you even love him?" he asked, calmly.

She shrugged her shoulders, and he huffed.

"Dear God, Kagome, why do you complicate your life so much?" She simply looked aside and returned his stare a moment later, seeming refreshed.

"Let's get to work, chichiue. What has Sango come up with for my cover?"

"Don't you mean what have _I _come up with?" he corrected. She smiled, skeptically.

"_You?_ You couldn't fabricate a reliable cover if your life depended on it! And besides, you've gone soft, dad! Sango does all these _minor_ stuff for you, now."

He had to agree. Maybe he had gotten soft. Maybe he was just tired of it all.

"Well, as of today, you are in charge of the External Relations Department. You are to contact all our major partners and provide Higurashi Inc. with prospects of future partnerships. At least, this will justify your presence there."

"So, are you really going to close the deal with Sesshoumaru-sama? Even with all the controversy his name involves? You _are_ aware that it's rumored he practices industrial espionage, right?" Kagome looked at her father, a little amused. She herself couldn't care less about the aspect, but her father had always chosen his partners from the most respectable ones.

Not that Sesshoumaru-sama wasn't that. It was just… he was weird.

"Yes, Kagome, I'm considering it. The partnership with his company could provide a wide market in western Europe, for us."

"Oh, come on! Do you really need a wider market? I mean, you already _have_ Asia and The United States, which is a few times the size of Europe!" she knew it wasn't all about power, but she liked pushing her father's buttons.

Kazuki narrowed his eyes.

"It's not about that, Kagome. You know it. It's about bonds between cultures. You should be happy, this is what you seek also, with your articles." She smiled.

"Gomen, chichiue." She took the papers from his desk a threw a look at them. She raised her eyebrows and shot her father an astonished gaze.

"You _faked_ my paperwork?" she was truly impressed. Her father blinked and sighed.

"Oh, I see, _Sango_ did. Smart girl. It has to appear like I've worked here for at least some years. The great Higurashi-sama wouldn't send a rookie to deal with such an important thing."

She winked at her father, who looked at her expectantly. Sometimes, she was the spitting image of her mother. Personality-wise, of course.

"I trust you remember what to do, Kagome." She knew he was talking about the report she had to put together, about Sesshoumaru-sama's company, and himself as a person. It was the Higurashi policy. Know your… partners.

"Sure, chichiue. I've assisted you several times, remember? It was a long time ago, but still..."

"See that Sango hasn't exaggerated with your work here. It simply says that you were on a collaboration contract, and that you've worked on several important deals. Us being public figures, it would still be easy to find out that Higurashi-sama's daughter is a reporter."

"Ahem…" she cleared her throat.

"Oh, gomen nasai. Investigation journalist." He smiled.

"A-ha! Well, this should do it. I'll just introduce myself as Higurashi Kagome, head of the External Relations Department… Hey, who's the real deal, by the way? I'm guessing he didn't welcome the idea of getting cast aside…"

"It bares little significance. You concentrate on your job. That's all there is to paperwork." Her father nodded to the file in her hand, then leaned back and took a more comfortable stance.

"You'll fly there tomorrow and a car will be waiting for you at the airport. There's a railway too, but I think you still hate trains, right? You know, that's odd. Aren't you supposed to go by train through all those secluded places you visit?"

"Sure dad, but if I can get away with_ not_ taking the train, why not size the opportunity?" She winked (again) at him, and smiled.

"Stop it with that habit, Kagome. It's so annoying."

"What, winking?" She was surprised.

"Can't. It's in my blood." She stood up and bent over the desk, giving her father a kiss on the cheek.

"It wasn't in your mother's blood, and it certainly is not in _mine_. So quit it." He mustered, grumpy. She didn't seem to mind him, though.

"Bye dad. I'll see you in a month or so."

"Good bye…" she slammed the heavy door shut.

"… tornado!" he finished his sentence, and smiled at the closed door. The giggles he could hear from outside his office made him wish his doors were soundproof.

:---:

"You're so clever, Sango. I love my resume! It's a veritable work of fiction…" Kagome laughed out, and Sango prepared to disregard her comment.

"You may not have done all of it, but you are certainly capable of it, and much more, Kagome." Sango said, and her friend's face settled into a serious expression.

"I know. I'm a very fast learner, and I do have my father's instincts, don't I?" Kagome answered.

"Yep." Sango replied, promptly

"Well anyway, thanks, and I'll see you when I get back, okay?"

Sango smiled back at her friend, wishing she would be safe at that monster's castle, in Europe.

She herself was terrified of what she had heard of him. Truth be told, for a human like her, a taiyoukai was certainly to be feared, but Sesshoumaru-sama was maybe the worst of all. Cruel and cold. Maybe that was to be expected of somebody who had lived for so long… Nobody really knew how old he was… Around 700 years or so.

One is bound to lose his emotion in that amount of time. If he even had any, to start with. Kagome entered the elevator, for the God-knows-how-many time that day. She was going to see Sesshoumaru-sama's splendid estate. A shiver passed through her body, but she cast it aside.

She wasn't afraid of him. She had traveled through the Amazonian Jungle and the Himalayans, for God sakes! She was _not_ afraid. Yet, a constant shimmering thought in the back of her head testified that she was.

Sesshoumaru-sama was dangerous, her boyfriend was right. His past shouted out his cruel acts, during the youkai wars, and although he was decorated many times for bravery in combat, she knew that "bravery" meant "cruelty" while in war.

She really couldn't remember when the last youkai war took place. Maybe 400 years ago… she wasn't sure. His life resembled a legend, to most humans. Even to her, such a lifespan seemed unbelievable. And she was well accustomed with the youkai. Well, better said, hanyou, given the fact that pure-blooded youkai were now so rare.

He was so little seen outside his estate, although he was running his industrial empire so well. So he was old, pure-blooded, nobody knew how he looked like anymore, and had a legendary life. Noble, cruel and murderous. Cold and mysterious. But he wouldn't harm her… would he?

:---:


	2. Meeting

UNLIVING

CHAPTER TWO - Meeting

Well, a twelve hour flight wasn't actually her idea of fun. But she'd been through much worse. No running water, no electricity, no one that fluently spoke English, French, Spanish or Japanese… What were the odds, really?

The plane had landed on Heathrow Airport, in London, at 17:15, local time. It was a cold, rainy day in the big city, and she had an hour until the plane to Blackpool Airport was to take off. She had to eat something. Although she tried not to think about her mother while here, she simply couldn't ignore the vague familiarity with London. She had avoided it since her mother's death, she was aware of it now.

Maybe it was just too painful to recall those memories. A glimpse towards the fuming crowd waving for a taxi made the decision for her. She would eat as close to the airport as possible. So she exited the crowded place into a barely acknowledgeable rain. The drops were so soft, that she felt then like a spray on her face.

It was sort of cold, and the slight fog attested to that. The clogged up sounds were reaching her ears in a distant manner, and she felt a little out of place. Which was really strange, considering she was used to traveling. She'd thought she would feel right at home here. After all, she did live in London while still a child.

All she carried was a huge purse and the briefcase with her laptop. The other bags were in the airport's custody, to be transferred into the plane heading for Blackpool. She'd lost her bags so many times, she did not care to remember. That's why the basics were always at hand. And her laptop was a basic.

Although, she really did hope the _losing-the-bags_ situation wasn't to repeat itself. It was awkward enough for her to face this… man, but to be left without her belongings too… She didn't want to consider that option. She would make special demands for her bags to be carefully handled.

She'll just say she has some valuable… African masks there. It wasn't like she'd never carried such things. Well, her host insisted in her taking the thing, when she'd left Africa, last year. It was strange, but the African woman really seemed to like her. Especially her violet eyes.

Kagome inwardly smiled and pulled her leather jacket closer to her body. She vaguely wondered if a leather jacket and worn out jeans built the proper image for who she was supposed to be. A small voice in the back of her head – which she swiftly attributed to her father – shouted that "NO! IT IS CERTAINLY NOT!"

She shrugged her shoulders, proceeding through the crowd, towards a big sign that said "Eat here!" Well, that was classy… She took another look at the street, and momentarily paused on this alien image that London was offering to her. The rain had intensified, and she could now see the steam rolling out of her mouth, in fizzy patterns, shattering into nothing. She certainly felt out of place.

'I've just expected something from this place… as if a place could remember me!" She was being ridiculous. Casting the thought aside, she entered the diner, surprisingly coming to the conclusion that it really was somewhat classy, although a little too dark, for her taste.

She took the first vacant table she could see and hoped they wouldn't take long to cook her meal.

:---:

Kagome was staring at the flight officer wide eyed and with her hands stuck on her narrow hips.

"What do you mean _lost_? I've told you people to take care of… Argh, never mind! Just… get them back as soon as possible, okay? Jesus Christ, of all the damn _stupid _things that could have…"

"Miss Higurashi?" her outburst had been interrupted by a crystalline voice from behind her. She turned around, completely ignoring the man she was yelling at one moment before, to see a blonde young woman dressed in… was that a chauffeur's uniform?

"Yes." She responded, more surprised than anything. The woman was in her twenties and most certainly a hanyou. Her bright blonde hair was tied up and hidden in the cap, and her electric blue eyes were smiling at Kagome.

"Good evening. I will escort you to Muncaster Castle, Miss Higurashi. Will you please follow me to the car?" she gestured to the door, and Kagome took a glimpse at the poor miserable bastard panting in front of her.

"Just a minute, please." She threw to the woman, over her shoulder. One would think she had no manners whatsoever. She was just pissed.

"_Where_ have you sent my bags?" her violet eyes almost stabbed the poor man. She raised her eyebrows in expectance, tapping her foot against the floor. It was a nervous habit. Another one.

"Uhm… Munich." Kagome could just kill him. She widened her eyes, took in a deep breath and decided not to commit the murder with witnesses present. She took a minute before speaking, although she was sure her left eye was twitching uncontrollably.

"Just… send them to Muncaster Castle when you get a hold of them." she hissed.

"It will only be a day or so, we are very sorry for the…"

"Spare me." She cut him off and returned her look to the woman.

"Let's go." She was tired, and in no mood to hear stupid and useless apologies. The woman walked in front of her to a black Rolls Royce, parked in front of the airport's main exit.

'A day or so…' she thought, with pain. 'Which means they'll eventually arrive back in _two_ days or so…' Why was everyone this incompetent? God!

"It will take precisely twenty seven minutes to reach Muncaster at this speed, Miss Higurashi." The strange woman's voice sounded almost ethereal. The wind splattered rain on the windshield, although it was periodically wiped clean. The hypnotic movement gave Kagome an uneasy feeling.

She raised an eyebrow, not knowing what to answer to the woman. 'Precisely twenty seven minutes…' her mind echoed, and she resumed watching the splattered rain, this time on the window next to her seat.

It was already dark outside and the wind was getting stronger as they approached Ravenglass. The road was occasionally bumpy, but the car was a genuine work of art and took the shocks admirably.

A few branches from a low tree brushed against the window when the car took a turn, and the sudden noise almost made her flinch. The wind was roaring by now, and the rain poured in streams down the thick glass of her window. It was so dark, she could swear it was the middle of the night.

A look at her wrist testified that it was merely 7:34 pm. September really made it hard on the sun to light up this place. Kagome vaguely wondered how in the world was that woman making out the path.

The curvy road they were on lead them to the castle, and Kagome could not help but wonder how much of her suspicions were to be proven correct, about its Lord and master. She toyed with that thought for some time, absently looking at the raindrops gliding down the window.

As if she could read her thoughts, the young driver sparked her voice, giving Kagome a startle.

"Lord Sesshoumaru will be receiving you within an hour after your arrival, in the main hall, Miss Higurashi. I believe you will find that your quarters are well equipped with garments to replace the ones that you have been temporarily deprived of."

Kagome could swear that this woman mocked her, as if she was sure that her clothes would not be proper to be seen by the _mighty_ eyes of Sesshoumaru-sama. She almost huffed. Instead…

"Thank you. That is very kind of your Lord." She didn't really know how to name him, while addressing his employee. So she went for what first popped into her mind.

Kagome really didn't have the chance to wonder why the woman would tell her such a thing, as the dark silhouette of Muncaster Castle began to take shape before her eyes.

It was a massive, gothic building, situated on a low hill and dimly lighted from the base up by a number of orange colored… no, they weren't spotlights, they were fires. The only source of light, by the way, as no other such thing reached this secluded place. She could distinguish the main entrance, placed between two tall towers, which ended in a broken arch, pointed and seemingly constantly reaching up.

The rain was still blurring her vision, and the darkness made it the more tricky to make out the castle's architectural display. She knew that gothic architecture was practically built on pointed arches and vaulted ribs, with tall structures and narrow windows, often decorated with stained glass. Some of those were obvious within Muncaster, but it seemed like the owner had brought some altering to the magnificent creation's appearance.

From what she could tell, there was some Victorian influence in the construction of the entrance, although the castle in itself was a dignified piece of ancient architecture. It must have been dated since 1200, she thought. An eerie feeling creeped up the back of her neck, as Kagome watched the still body moving closer to her. '_I_ am moving closer to_ it_!' she corrected herself, and swallowed the bump in her throat.

A lightning unleashed its uneven arms and plunged into the ground just outside the western wall of the castle, and her eyes caught a movement up the wall. It was like a shadow which shouldn't rightfully be there. The lightning had lit up the entire western wall. She shook her head, forcing her eyes closed.

Maybe it was just her imagination. She was tired, and the time belt was getting to her. Her heart began beating faster and faster, as if it was trying to keep pace with the wind intensifying, and the now frequent lightings wounding the black sky.

Ever so often, she could take a better look at Muncaster Castle, and when she was finally in front of the main entrance, after following a long, curvy path through what seemed to be a garden, she was almost afraid to exit the car.

The high doors opened with a heavy sound, and a pale stream of slightly orange light rushed out. A figure could be seen in the doorway, and Kagome's vision was blocked by the young woman holding up a huge umbrella for her. Kagome grabbed her briefcase and followed the woman inside.

She found that the form standing so solemnly in the doorway belonged to a fifty-some year old man who bowed and recommended himself as Ethan. Kagome figured he must be the castle's keeper, as all these residences had a key keeper, other that their master. She asked herself if a control freak such as Sesshoumaru-sama would allow that. Maybe Ethan was just there to open the door.

The hall was immense, she could barely see the ceiling, and the dim light made it even more difficult for her to analyze her surroundings. There were certainly some pointed arches sustaining the high ceiling, and ribs arched down to the floor. Tall and narrow windows, beautifully decorated in stained glass of various colors raised along the walls.

Decorations were present everywhere she looked, either carved in the walls or gracefully emerging from them, in twisted paths that seemed to cry out something… she couldn't make out what, though. The silence of the castle was stunning, so heavy and cold to her, and the sound of the storm outside, along with the lightning, filtered through the stained glass, only added to the unnatural look of this place.

A large stairway opened in front of her, elegantly separated further up in two twin arms, each reaching for their cardinal point. One to the West, the other to the East. At the point where the stairway parted, there was a huge window decorated with a painted glass, which was somewhat unusual for this place. It represented an angel, a divine figure with its wings spread in a majestic motion that almost seemed alive.

Her eyes were stuck on the glass painting, as the angel's gold eyes lifelessly stared back at her. His face was perfect, that pale skin looked like fine porcelain, and the silvery, long hair gave him a surreal appearance. His body, though, was terribly wounded and bleeding from every laceration. His clothes were torn and soiled, although his bare feet were not touching the ground.

Long, elegant arms spread at his sides, and the velvety white wings seemed to protect him from further spoil. A single drop of crimson blood trailed down his perfect face, from his left eye. His face was so… pained, and yet so expectant! He knew there was a force greater than his own.

Those gold eyes speared her, as a lightning flashed behind the window, making it look like the angel sparked his perfect eyes at her. Kagome let out a heavy breath of air, blinking to gain her calm back. The painting had disturbed her, although she had no idea why.

She climbed up the stairs, behind the young woman, the muffed sound of their steps on the carpet annoying her to the death. She would be resting in the Western wing, as the Lord would have it. The hallway was dim lighted and tall. Even with all the height, she still felt trapped, looking up at the windows and deciding that she will have enough of this stained glass to last her a lifetime.

The sustaining ribs crawled up the walls and culminated into the ceiling, a distant point which her eyes could not reach, mostly because of the poor lighting.

"Don't you have any electricity here?" she found herself asking the woman, not caring if it was presumptuous of her to expect modern accommodations in such an ancient place.

"Of course we do, Miss Higurashi." She heard that strange, clear voice, all in all to jovial for her liking.

"It's just that this thunderstorm cut off the electricity and it will take until morning for the generator to be fixed. You see, there is nobody here who can do that, and no villager from Ravenglass travels here by night."

Kagome wondered why.

"It's too far away, and secluded between these hills, you see." Again, like she would have read her mind.

"Oh." Was all she could word out, as the woman lead her through more dim-lighted, echoing hallways. How she _hated_ echoing hallways!

Two heavy doors opened in front of her, and Kagome took in the sight of her chambers. 'Huge.' Was what she thought of it, at first sight. But she remained silent and nodded as the woman proceeded with instructing her.

"As you've been informed, Lord Sesshoumaru will receive you in the main hall within an hour, in which he trusts you will have enough time to accommodate. You will be lead to him until you may find your own way through the castle. Proper clothing is to be found in the closet, and you are granted a personal restroom at your disposal. Any questions, Miss Higurashi?"

Her tone was unwavering, polite, but slightly condescending, which fell bad with Kagome.

"No." she said coldly, wanting the strange creature out of her sight. The woman bowed, turned and exited, closing the doors with a slight _swoosh._

'_Proper_ clothing… Until you _may_ find your _own_ way… You are _granted_…' she shook her head and decided that she did not like this woman.

The room was much like she had imagined, although somewhat larger in size. The style resembled the rest, with the exception of the exaggerated high ceiling, which was replaced here by a seemingly normal one.

The huge canopy bed was covered with silky sheets in the color of coagulated blood, and the room itself was painted and decorated in several shades of red. It would have been tiresome, if the room wasn't that big. There were a huge desk, a closet with a large mirror carved in, and a dressing panel, along with a smaller table with a mirror, provided with supports and drawers. She assumed they were for make up and such.

She quickly found the _restroom_, and was struck by the elegance of the design. It was tastefully introduced into the castle's ambiance, the Lord managing to insert a functional bathtub and toilet into an old architectural structure without damaging the walls and look of the castle.

'Plumbing rulz!' she squeaked to herself

Approximately an hour later, she was staring at herself, in that ridiculously large mirror. She was wearing a dark green evening gown, which caught her breasts in a corset. Tying those laces had taken her forever… 'Did this… _man_ hear of that wonderful thing called a zipper?'

From her hips down fell a cascading silky skirt, covering her shoes. She was still fighting to figure out how in the name of God did he know her size… There must have been dozens of gowns, and all sorts of clothing in that closet…with shoes to match!

She wore none of the jewelry she found in the drawers, they looked too expensive. Her black hair was tied up and a little messy, as always, but she had no idea what else she could do to it, so she just left it that way.

Maybe she was beautiful… she was really not the one to say. Her face wasn't pale and delicate like a true lady's would be, but tanned and rather plain. She wore no make-up, because she needed none. Her violet eyes were expressive and she had inherited these purple markings on her eyelids, from her father, who had them on his wrists.

So she sort of had a permanent make up. Not that she cared. She tried to smile at herself, but found that her reflection would not listen to her. A thunder roared outside, and others followed, in a suite, along with more lightning.

A knock on the door caught her attention.

"Enter." She heard herself say, although her choice of words did not seem quite…hers.

"Lord Sesshoumaru awaits you. Miss Higurashi." The man said. It was Ethan. Again. It was Ethan, somewhat taken aback by her looks. She almost smiled, and followed him through more dark, serpent-like hallways.

'This is all too much… We are in the twenty first century, people!' she thought, exasperated. She almost bumped into Ethan when he stopped suddenly and opened the huge doors to a large hall. A wide window could be seen at the right, stained glass at the edges, but leaving the rest clear.

She heard the doors close behind her and she stood in almost complete darkness. Rain was violently propelled onto the window, as the wind bent the trees outside the castle. She could see the branches arch in the lightning flashes. She said nothing, just stood there and tried to discern some movement in the room.

Was he already here? Was he on his way?

Her eyes rapidly adjusted to the darkness and she thanked her father for those remainder youkai genes. A fireplace rested coldly across the room, and two large stalls were on either side of it. A low, wooden table between the stalls. A thick carpet on the floor. The room was cold, and she felt goose bumps on her arms.

Some corners were still dipped in darkness, and the occasionally flashes didn't help her make out much there. The room was too large. Several other items were placed across the room, near the walls. The center was clear of any object, and she also noticed there were no paintings on the walls.

'Odd.'

All she could hear was the raindrops splattered on the glass, the storm, and the sound of her own breath. Some moronic heart was beating madly inside her chest, and she hated not being able to control it. Kagome frowned and swallowed. It had only been a few seconds since the doors were shut behind her, but it seemed like it had been forever.

Her eyes widened, as she clearly felt another presence in the room. She could almost hear another breath, almost sense another heartbeat. The _almost_ was driving her crazy.

"Konban wa, Higurashi-san." A low voice cut the thick air in the room and hit her right in the chest. A pair of gold eyes flashed open, and she felt her blood freezing in her veins. A silent, graceful movement came from one end of the fireplace, and a lightning revealed long, white hair smoothly falling from his shoulders to his waist and below.

He glided towards her, and Kagome hated _hated_ _hated_ that she couldn't move a muscle. His motion was hypnotic. He wore a black something, but she couldn't make out much of it. At an arm's length from her, he stopped. His face was as cold as a dead man's. But much more beautiful, she said to herself.

Suddenly, the image of the wounded angel from the painting over posed his features, and the striking resemblance frightened her. Why would anybody have themselves painted like an angel? It was sick.

Two magenta stripes slashed across his cheekbones and a dark crescent moon stained his face, otherwise devoid of color, other that the molten gold from his eyes. Those prefect features stood before her, in the light of the storm, waiting… God, she'd forgotten to speak!

"Konban wa, Sesshoumaru-sama." She said, and gave a slight bow. Kagome blessed her steady voice. He responded to her bow, and blinked. She felt a shiver pass through her body, as this youkai stood so close to her. She should have felt his body warmth, and yet she did not.

She should have noticed him from second one she entered the room, yet she had not.

"I trust your trip here wasn't entirely unpleasant." That _voice_. It creeped up her spine and caught the back of her neck. So low, so deep and almost sensual. She knew it was certainly not what he meant by that tone, but she was a woman, and she couldn't help thinking it. _Sensual_.

"Arigato gozaimasu. It was pleasant. I had some trouble with my luggage, but I see you came to my aid." She took a fleeting look at her clothing, and blushed a little. Luckily, it was too dark for him to see it. She hoped.

His eyes focused on her with an intense look. She felt exposed, like she was naked. A slight narrowing of his eyes, and he lifted his head a little.

"I'm pleased to be at service, Higurashi-san." She shivered, and dreaded the fact that he was pure-blooded youkai. Had they all been so… unsettling? His voice was like the flow of silk over an incandescent metal structure.

"Will you please call me Kagome? I would feel so much more at ease." She wasn't sure if that was the truth. He seemed a little surprised, but nodded.

"I must apologize for the lack of electricity, I'm sure Sabrya explained the situation. We will be enjoying it newly the morning next." His wording confused her a little. So, Sabrya was the woman's name. 'Odd.' For the thousand time today.

"It's quite fine." She wanted to say she's used to it, but remembered she was not supposed to be a journalist here. He seemed to sketch the shadow of a smile, more like a fleeting wave that disturbed his immobile face for a second, and extended an arm towards the stall on the left of the fireplace. His claws momentarily sparked green… Was she seeing things?

"Please take a seat."

Kagome felt his eyes piercing her back while she headed towards her seat. She felt stabbed, and the awkward feeling of nobody being in the room with her almost made her turn around to see if he was still there.

Sesshoumaru-sama was… intriguing. It seemed like danger was silently lurking behind those bees that were now waiting for her to make one wrong movement and… _snap!_ She would be dead. In a second. Her violet gaze dug into his inhuman eyes and she shivered. _In a second_.

:---:


	3. Accidentally freaked out

Unliving

Chapter three – Accidentally freaked out

Just talking to this youkai proved more of a challenge that anything she'd ever come across, in her entire life. And her life hadn't actually been a smooth one! His calculated movements, his cold appearance and that husky voice formed a sight that intimidated Kagome a little. Okay, a lot!

Formalities aside, he was difficult to understand as it was. He was perfectly composed and not a muscle was moving on his face, except for when he spoke. And even then, he had no mimic. He was just immobile.

For an immobile person, he was damn graceful! Because when he _did_ move, his entire body seemed to flow. His black clothes forced her to look at his face and hair, so white in comparison. Actually, she thought they were incredibly white even without the comparison.

His hair was like heavy silk, and it surrounded his body like a curtain. His eyes were always stuck on her face, as if he would be looking for something, as if he was trying to see something inside her. She was getting nervous, which didn't happen very often.

Sometime between their exchange of words, Ethan had entered and lit the fire, which was now burning with a violent orange flame in the fireplace. At least it wasn't that cold anymore, and she could see him better. Which really didn't help settle her nervousness at all, truth be told!

"You must excuse me… Kagome, I cannot receive you for our meetings during the day. I am usually… otherwise engaged until the evening. I trust this will not be a source of discomfort for you."

Kagome was fascinated by the dance of the fire's light on his face. He looked a little sinister, unmoving and lit by the fire like that, as shadows moved across his perfect features.

"Not at all, Sesshoumaru-sama. I'm some sort of a night creature, myself, and I usually don't sleep much. Just a few hours per night, and I go to bed late as it is. So I can really say this arrangement is for the best." She sketched a smile, and thought she saw amusement in his look at her choice of words. _Night creature._

"Working woman." He said, and she felt amused. So, he could be funny too. She was beginning to think that he was completely bitter and cold. A sense of humor was always welcomed in anyone.

"I guess I am." She responded, nodding once.

"You will find that your task of analyzing my company won't be an easy one, but I am at your disposal, and so is my personnel. You will be answered any question you may have concerning this matter."

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama. I hope our partnership will be a fruitful one indeed." She smiled a little, but he only nodded once. She hoped he will not mind the personal questions too much. She wasn't gonna investigate about his life, but a few clues couldn't hurt. She just wanted to get to know him a bit.

Sesshoumaru was observing this woman sitting before him much as one would observe an exotic creature, misplaced in the environment. She seemed out of place, in this business woman's skin. He slightly narrowed his eyes and wondered why was she lying to him. Why didn't she say she was an investigation journalist also?

It wasn't like one would have difficulties in finding that particular piece of information. Especially someone like him. But, as long as his plan was going well, there was no need to distress her… yet. Time will come when this woman will be horrified from what she would find out, but this was not that time.

He still had much to learn about her, before he could reveal himself to her. He must make sure she would be somewhat prepared to accept it. One could never be entirely prepared to accept that there is an entire different world just next to you, that you are unaware of. But she was strong, she was skillful and adventurous.

His eyes didn't move from her face not even for a second, the entire evening. Either that she was talking about _Higurashi Inc_., the plan she had for writing the report, or herself as a person, Sesshoumaru never loosened his intense gaze. He knew it would come the time in which she would ask him some personal questions, it was the Japanese tradition to know your business partner personally, especially one as significant as he would become.

She was now talking about their expansion in The United States. Her lips moved somewhat too lose for a _supposed_ business woman, and her body language wasn't quite right either. She was well mannered, that was for sure, but she wasn't a business woman. He found that her occasional grimacing was pleasant.

Also, he found somewhat amusing the fact that she was desperately trying to resist gesturing all the time. She was failing miserably, but he wished she wouldn't keep her true nature hidden like that. After all, her true nature was what he was hunting for. Her true nature was what he craved.

Kagome tried to feel at ease with this strange creature, but soon discovered that it was at the very least impossible. His attitude, although permissive and polite, still seemed somewhat constantly amused, slightly superior, as if he was above others, as if he knew more that most.

Maybe he did, after all he'd lived for so long, she was almost certain he himself didn't remember when he'd been born. He was bound to gain superior knowledge during that lifespan. She felt intimidated, having him listen to her so attentive. She cold feel his gold eyes watching every move she made, registering her every gesture.

She desperately tried to act composed, but she couldn't fully control her feelings, and her actions. She knew her image would have to suffer from this lack of composure. She wasn't acting like a business woman.

A knock on the door cut through the room, and Kagome's head turned to the direction of the sound. Ethan stood in the doorframe, with a slightly frightened look on his face. Kagome shot a glimpse at Sesshoumaru, and saw him rip his stare off her and move it to his employee.

"Yes?" Sesshoumaru's voice was mellow, but very deep. Ethan almost shivered. Kagome was looking from one to the other, a little confused. She'd thought Ethan as the type that never lets out emotion, by the look of him. It appeared that she was wrong.

"Lord Devonshire is here, and requests an immediate audience with your Lordship." His voice was steady, but a little cloudy nonetheless. Kagome looked to Sesshoumaru, who frowned and seemed to think it over for a second, as his eyes rested on the thick carpet. He appeared to be deep in thought, but his decision was quickly took, and his eyes shot up at the young woman in front of him, making her almost jump from her seat.

His expression was considerably more serious, and he seemed a little worried, maybe. She couldn't really tell. She instantly got a curiosity sting, which so often happened to her every time she would stumble across something potentially interesting. She decided to find out who this mysterious Lord Devonshire was.

"You must excuse me for the evening, Kagome. This requests my immediate attention. I promise we will continue our discussion the evening to come, or later tonight, if you are still awake." He stood up, and she absentmindedly did the same.

"Of course, Sesshoumaru-sama. There's no need for apology. Later tonight would be fine." She tried to smile, but ended up slightly bowing at him. It was something in his air that kept her from smiling at him. He nodded to her, and with a swift and flowing movement, he turned to Ethan, asking where he'd lead Devonshire.

Ethan responded that in the library. Sesshoumaru passed his employee without further conversation, and Kagome found herself alone in the room.

"Do you need me to escort you back to your room, Miss Higurashi?" the man asked, still distressed, but Kagome knew the way. It wasn't like her to get lost anyway, she had perfect orientation skills, and she doubted she would get lost in this castle.

"No, that won't be necessary, thank you." She said, a little out of it, and Ethan bowed as he exited the room and closed the massive door behind him. Kagome eyed the large window. The storm was rampaging outside, and she could hear the woods nearby moan and bend under the wind's powerful blows, and the rain's violent shower. It was going on for several hours now. Was this gonna last much longer?

Thunders could be heard every ten minutes or so, and the silence in between them, as well as the warmth inside the room made a strange contrast with the weather outside. Kagome wondered what could be so important that this mad had come here on this weather. It was truly intriguing, especially to somebody like her, who had spent most of her last five years nosing around everywhere she could.

She had no idea where the library was. But she'd heard the distant sound of a door closing, a few seconds after Sesshoumaru had left, so she assumed it was nearby. That is, if the door wasn't closed by Ethan, or anybody else that could be wandering across the hallways.

But she doubted that the personnel would go about the castle at this hour of the night, and without any proper lighting. They couldn't do their jobs accurately if they had no light! She slipped between the doors, and carefully closed them shut, without as much as a squeak. She took her shoes off and began walking slowly along the hallway, attentive to every sound she could catch.

The corridor had a view of the outside garden, through a few tall windows every here and there, and occasionally some doors o the same side. The other side was all stone walls and closed massive doors. She was periodically looking back, as she went forth, and sometimes she would look up at the tall ribs that held the ceiling. It was very poorly lit, and she couldn't see much in front of her.

Occasionally, a lightning would spear the sky, and she would wince, taking in a quick breath. It was as quiet as a grave, except for the storm outside, whose rage was muffled by the thick walls. Kagome's heart was pounding in her chest. If somebody was to catch her in the act, she would fly out of here faster that she could say _Sesshoumaru-sama_.

One of her hands was stretched in front of her, as she used the other one to feel the wall on the right. She was pulling on the handles of doors she passed by, and one opened. It seemed to be a reading room, with some bookshelves and many chairs around a large table. But there was nobody there. Se closed the door and continued.

The sound of Sesshoumaru's husky voice made her stop her slow walk. He seemed angry, but she couldn't make out the words. She continued to walk forth, and took a turn to the right. There was a door there. The sound of his voice had stopped.

She frowned and bent her head forward, concentrating her hearing to the door.

"You are breaking the rules, Sesshoumaru." A voice hissed, and she attributed it to Devonshire.

"Don't you _dare_ lecture me about the rules, Devonshire! This is _my _haven, these are_ my_ rules." Sesshoumaru's voice was dripping with poison. She instinctively backed a little, but resumed listening to their conversation.

"Bringing kine here at this time will only complicate matters. We have The Masquerade to think of and she's…" the man's voice broke abruptly, and Kagome narrowed her eyes.

"A whelp like you shouldn't even look me in the eye. Be grateful I don't want any bloodshed tonight." Sesshoumaru hissed, and his tone gave Kagome the shivers. She heard a _thud_, as if something heavy was just dropped to the floor, and someone coughed a few times.

"If the kine is not fit, you will suffer the consequences, Sesshoumaru, no matter how high up you think you are."

She swore she heard a growl.

"The werewolves are out and crossing borders. There will be war again, this is not the time for a new fledgling here! How did the Prince allow this?"

"Stop calling her that. She's not quite kine."

"She's _mortal_, and that's enough." came the man's answer, cold and composed.

"She's my concern, not the Kindred's."

"You _are_ Kindred!"

"You'd best go, until I lose my patience."

"Consider my advice, Sesshoumaru."

Their voices were so calm now, you wouldn't have said they were at each other's throats a minute earlier. She took their words as her queue and left to find that open door. She slipped inside and left the door cracked open.

She saw Devonshire take another path out, and she thanked God he didn't pass by her. He wore a long, flowing, black cape. Before he pulled the hood over his head, she could see his dark red hair, almost the color of dried blood. He shot a glimpse on the hallway, and his eyes sparked an ill shade of green. She almost shut the door closed, but he disappeared in a second, and she took the opportunity to run back into her room.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, breathing heavily. She was shivering. In front of her was the window, with a view to the woods and hills. She couldn't make out more than that. Had she heard right? Werewolves? The prince? What prince? _Werewolves?_ And were they talking about her? Was she the one they referred at as _kine_?

Sesshoumaru had threatened with bloodshed, and Devonshire mentioned a war. Between whom and whom? …_Werewolves?_

"What have I gotten myself into?" she whispered to herself. Kagome couldn't stop shivering. She was in shock, she couldn't think straight. Maybe she'd heard wrong, maybe… But no, her attention was well focused, damn she'd listened at hundreds of doors in her life!

She'd heard him well. _Werewolves._ These people were mad. Maybe Devonshire was pure blooded too. Maybe the centuries of life had finally got to their brains. She grabbed her temples with her hands and pressed. She had to clear her mind. She had to think rationally. There was a perfectly good explanation for this. There _had_ to be!

She walked to the window, and noticed that it was somewhat wider than it should have been. It had been modified, so that more light could enter the room. She absently eyed the storm outside, her eyes wandering about the woods. It was a dark, thick forest, which spread for a few good acres, from what she could see now.

It seemed that the storm had settled, rain was the only one that poured calmly on the trees and the paved alley that lead to the main entrance. She could see Sesshoumaru's tall, imposing figure step out in the rain, without so much as a flinch. He just stood there, the wind blowing his long hair about his stiff body. He wore a black cape much like Devonshire's, which fluttered with the wind's touch.

She hid behind the window's heavy curtains and looked at him wide eyed. He looked… magnificent, for lack of another word. Ethan brought him a tall, massive horse. It was completely raven, and it fit him, Kagome thought. He got on effortlessly, and took a glimpse over his shoulder, as if hesitating for a second.

She sunk back into the curtains. His eyes shot up at her window and she could catch his gold bullets darting towards her. She hoped he didn't see her, although why was that she didn't know. A second later he turned his horse to the paved alley. The beautiful beast rose on its back legs releasing a wild scream of delight, at its master touch.

Sesshoumaru settled it with a command, and patted it on the neck. Then, he leaned forward, and Kagome could swear he talked to the animal. Within seconds, they were both out of her sight, and she was left staring at the rain. Where could he go with this rain pouring?

A knock on the door made her jump. She parted from the window.

"Enter." Again, that word that didn't seem to fit her. This place made her think differently. Ethan appeared in the doorframe, a little wet from the rain.

"His Lordship asks forgiveness from Miss Higurashi for not offering dinner and he invites you to feel free to order whatever you desire. The personnel will be at your disposal until 10 pm, Miss Higurashi." He bowed, and waited. Kagome couldn't believe it. She wasn't really that hungry. She'd actually forgotten all about dinner.

"That's quite fine, Ethan, I won't be having dinner this evening. I'm used to cooking myself, anyway."

'Shit! A business woman shouldn't have the time to do that!'

"… When I have the time, that is. It relaxes me." She hoped her mistake would pass by unnoticed. She gave him a smile, but the man remained petrified.

"Regardless, the kitchen is located downstairs. After you descend the main stairway you take the right corridor, then a left turn, and the first door will lead you to the kitchen. You may order any dish to the cook, and the butler will direct you to the dining room." He seemed to wait for some kind of sign she understood.

Kagome nodded.

"O-Okay. Thank you…" she didn't know what else to say. What was it about this place that blocked her like this? She felt imprisoned, _affected_ somehow.

"Would you like me to light the fire, Miss Higurashi?"

Kagome took an involuntary look at the small fireplace. She'd completely forgotten about that…too. What was with her? _Werewolves!_ Good answer!

"Uhm… yes, thank you. It's a little bit chilly."

The man excused himself, and returned a few minutes later with whatever he needed in order to light the fire. Instantly, Kagome felt better, now that she realized that the cold had made her feel uncomfortable without her even realizing it. She stared at the dancing orange flames shooting shadows across the room.

Ethan seemed a little disorientated by her attitude. He almost shrugged, but bowed instead, wished her "Good evening.", and closed the door behind him.

Kagome went to her laptop. Fortunately, she'd charged the battery, and kept it turned off since then. She opened it and placed it on the bed, climbing into the huge sleeping space. It was a little hard, certainly harder than her own bed back home, but the sheets were silky, under the thick exterior covers. They were all colored in dark shades of red, which made her think about blood stains.

She smiled, touching the fine fabric. She momentarily looked at herself and noticed she was still wearing that beautiful dress. She certainly didn't want it ruined, so she went to the closet and took a look inside. She found a long, flowing negligee, with matching robe. It was peach colored and silky.

She disregarded it, but found that there was nothing else she could sleep in. She didn't normally wear this sort of stuff, she found them too pretentious! The closet was hiding twelve such pieces, and she began to think that there was really no other option.

"Didn't they put a T-shirt in here? That's all I really need, anyway! Geez…" But there were mostly expensive clothing, and all for daytime use, so Kagome had no choice but to put on that annoyingly perfect negligee.

'Well, at least it's long!" She put on the robe too, covering her arms. The silky fabric touched her skin like a caress. It was beginning to get warmer, from the fire, and Kagome took a deep breath, trying not to think about werewolves. Could she have been mistaken? Could she have heard wrong? Maybe she was too tired.

She crossed her legs under her, pulling the dress up her thighs, and she began writing.

_Even by storm, the entrance in Sesshoumaru-sama's magnificent estate leaves you with the distinct impression of an ancient corner of the world, almost untouched by the plagues of daily human kind. Lightning guided me to this secluded and wild part of The United Kingdom, as my arrival was marked by a rampaging thunderstorm. And what better welcome from such a wild miracle as Muncaster?_

_The master received me in the usual manner of long extinct noblemen, the kind that populate legends, bravery stories and the romantic dreams of young women…_

Her fingers were moving rapidly on the keyboard, and her thoughts poured out in the usual, flowing manner. She rarely reedited her _articles_. They usually came out in the final form. Her talent was remarkable, and she'd been told that several times, without it actually sticking to her head and making her feel that important. She just liked what she did. Writing and traveling, what more could she ask for?

However, she conveniently left out the _werewolves_ part, and decided to write it down as a side note, a personal note, as it were.

After a few hours of intensive writing in which she had described what she could catch from this place and Sesshoumaru himself, Kagome felt or better said _didn't_ feel her legs. They were numb, from the lack of position shifting. She stretched them in front of her and her arms above her head. She closed her laptop and climbed out from the bed. The clock on the wall said it was 23 minutes past midnight.

She widened her eyes a few times, to detense her face muscles. She'd been frowning while writing. A rumble in her stomach caught her attention, and she decided to take on another wild quest. This time to the kitchen.

"Now, if only Icould find a candle…" She started to do through the drawers, until she found a thick, white candle, on a wrought iron holder. Pleased, she lit it from the fire still burning in the fireplace.

She took a look at the flames and stirred them a little with the fire hook. Ashes was lifted into the air, but quickly settled back, as the fire took life. She exited the room, barefoot, not minding the cold. There were thick carpets on the floors anyway. She walked along the quiet, dark corridor, taking a look outside every once in a while. The rain was softer now, and the wind mellower.

The candle was throwing long, dancing shadows across the walls, and her silent footsteps weren't disturbing the corridor's graveyard stance. Kagome's violet eyes were wide open while she was taking in all the light she could. She reached the staircase and stopped to look at the angel painted on the glass. The sight of this beautiful creature was waking something inside her.

Those wings, the way they were protecting his wounded body, the way his face seemed to ask for something higher that life itself, is drove a shiver through her body. She pulled her eyes away from him and she headed to the kitchen. She found it easily enough, and went straight to the refrigerator, but found that there wasn't enough light.

So she stumbled across all the chairs and tables in the room trying to light the other candles. Probably the ones the personnel had been using tonight. Kagome figured there must have been frequent power outs in this place, because there were an awful lot of candles everywhere. Even in her room.

She finally got the room lit enough that she could see what she ate. Thankfully, the cooker wasn't electric. She just wanted an omlette and some cheese, with whatever vegetables she could find. Carrots or cucumbers would have been nice, though. Her taste in food was beginning to freak out even Inuyasha. And he wasn't really the frightful type.

She was very happy when she found everything she wanted in the large kitchen. After half an hour of frantic search, but she'd found it. 'Those candles sure burn slow…' she thought for a moment, and then forgot all about them as she began eating. Halfway through her dish, she heard a muffled sound from the main entrance.

She swallowed, attentive. Silent footsteps were heading towards her. A cold claw grabbed her chest, and she froze with the fork in her hand.

Sesshoumaru passed by the main corridor, and stopped when he saw light from the kitchen. Tilting his head, he narrowed his eyes and gave the large door a push. It fell open, and he found himself looking at Kagome, who was just placing her fork on the plate. He could feel her unease. That wild scent she had was mixed with the raw emotion of anxiety. Yet, she just looked surprised.

"Kagome." He said, a little louder than he'd intended. His tall, shadowy figure was blocking the door, and the dim light gave him an even darker appearance. The long black cape was dripping wet and strands of his wet hair were hanging limply over his face. His eyes still burnt though, and Kagome felt her heartbeat accelerate. He was beautiful, but the kind of beauty that scares humans.

The kind of untamed, feral beauty, much like a mysterious rainforest or a furious river wildly venturing through rocky cliffs. She was staring. He was a bit surprised himself, she could tell. His tongue rapidly went over his teeth (actually, his _fangs_, Kagome noticed, not without a flinch. What did she expect, he was a pure blooded! He _did_ have claws and fangs.)

He began walking towards her, and Kagome just stared up at him.

"What are you doing her at this time of night?" his voice was husky, deliberately sinuous. It was crawling up her spine. Why was he trying to intimidate her? 'Sick person…' she thought, wondering where he'd been for there past two hours.

"Uhm… Eating?" she responded, a little annoyed by his constant efforts to daunt her. She tried to smile. Again, she found that his eyes just didn't _allow_ such a thing. They were stuck on her face like the eyes of a predator. Well, by all accounts he _was _a predator!

Sesshoumaru leaned forward a little, just enough for her eyes to raise a bit. His face was lit upwards from the candle, which gave him an eerie look. He noticed her violet eyes, wide open and unmoving from his; her soft, full lips slightly parted and shallowly taking breaths, her tanned skin and high cheekbones. Raven hair cascaded over her shoulders, and a few strands rested on her silk covered breasts.

It had only taken half a second, and then his eyes returned to hers. A few drops of water fell on the table as he put his clawed hands on the edge to lean forward.

He smelled like rain and wind. He smelled like the autumn, and she was frozen inside his eyes.

"We'll be seeing each other tomorrow evening, Miss Higurashi. Good night." In what seemed to be just a second, he turned and exited. Kagome fell on the back of her chair, feeling as if she could breathe again.

His swift inspection had left her airless. Those eyes were like a microscope. She felt exposed under his look. Damn, this was too disturbing. How was she to last a month with this man?

'Oops, there's the thing. He's not a man.'

She closed her eyes and suddenly wanted to sleep, but the _werewolves_ weren't allowing her to rest her brain.

"Damn it _all_ to hell! I'm gonna pull through this and I'll be _damned_ if I let a youkai scare me! There." She whispered to herself. Her resolve wasn't helping much, though, as she recalled his husky voice and _those eyes_.


	4. Guests and residents

Unliving

Chapter four – Guests and residents

She was staring at the ceiling, not caring about how late in the morning it was. Nobody had informed her of the time breakfast was to be served, so she didn't care about that. She never ate much in the morning anyway. However, she _did_ need a cup of strong coffee. She was an addict, she knew it.

Looking out the window, she noticed the grey sky and the mist. The hills collected fog, and she was certain that it was cold outside. But it was warm inside, and she felt nice. Kagome took a glimpse at the clock on the wall. It was old and made of wood, with black metallic insertions.

It claimed it was 7:45 am. Wow, she'd slept in! Usually, she would be up at about 6:30am every day, no matter how late she'd gone to sleep. But last night wasn't normal by any account. She must have stared at that ceiling for an hour before finally falling asleep. And even then, she felt like she wasn't alone in the room.

Kagome hadn't slept well, she's been constantly stirring and waking every half an hour or so, positive that she'd heard a breath, or that she'd felt a presence.

'Maybe this place is haunted. It's certainly old enough!' she thought. Strangely enough, that thought eased her a little, and she'd finally gotten two hours of a dreamless slumber this morning.

She got up from the bed and felt sorry for the poor negligee. She was a messy sleeper. Inuyasha always complained about her kicking him in her sleep, not to mention the _talking_! She couldn't care less about his complaints. How was she to control what she did while asleep? That would mean guarding her sleep, and she needed to be awake to do that! It was a vicious circle.

Her sheets were wrinkled, and so was her clothing. The poor blanket hung from a side, and the pillows were spread all over the bed. She liked sleeping across the bed, instead of what she should have slept like: straight. She tried to mend the bed, and finally succeeded. It took half an hour to make her bed, but she'd done it.

"Urhhh… I need a shower." She said to herself, and walked into the bathroom. She was still amazed of how well it fit the place, although it shouldn't rightfully be there.

Twenty minutes later she was wrapped in a huge, black towel she'd found in the room. She was towel-drying her hair, when a soft knock on the door gained her attention.

'This is certainly not Ethan.' She thought, hearing the timid knock.

"Come in."

'Yes! I didn't say _enter_ anymore. Relief…'she inwardly smiled.

A young woman entered the room and bowed.

"Good morning Miss Higurashi, my name is Emma, and I will be your personal maid during your stay at Muncaster." Her soft voice surprised Kagome. She was human, completely human. That surprised her too.

'Maybe he thought I'd feel more at ease with a human.'

Maybe he's been correct.

The woman wasn't older that 25 years, and had a wild, curly red hair, and grey eyes, with a tint of green. She was thin, but not skinny, and she wore a maid's uniform. Her hands were respectfully held on her white apron, one covering the other.

"Good morning, Emma." The woman widened her eyes.

"Oh, I see you've already made your own bed. That was unnecessary, Miss Higurashi, that's my job." Her smile was a little confusing to Kagome. And she hated the Miss Higurashi routine.

"Could you call me Kagome?" she tried, but she was almost certain that the young maid would refuse.

"I couldn't possibly take that liberty."

"_Miss_ Kagome, then? Please, Miss Higurashi sounds too formal, it makes me feel old."

The woman nodded.

"You may blow dry your hair now, the generator's fixed since this morning."

Kagome looked at her a little off, but then she noticed that her hair was dripping with water.

"Oh, is it? Thank you I'll do that as soon as I get my luggage back, I don't have anything to blow-dry it _with_ for the moment." She smiled kindly to Emma, who passed by her and went into the bathroom, exiting a moment later with the dryer.

Kagome's eyes widened.

"Oh, I love you." She whispered.

"This is hell to take care of!" she took a few strands of wet, tangled hair in her hand. Emma smiled and nodded.

"You're welcome." After a silent moment, the young maid asked:

"Would you like the fire in your room lit in the evening, Miss Kagome?"

Kagome eyed her, while drying her hair.

"Oh, it would be nice, thank you. It's getting cold, isn't it? I mean, autumn's well on the way…"

"Yes, it is." The look on Emma's face showed concern, as she took a glimpse outside. Then, she crossed the room and opened the window. A cool breath of air invaded the room, and Kagome realized that it wasn't that cold outside, fog and all considered.

"However, the days are still warm." Emma added. Kagome couldn't say that it was exactly warm, but it wasn't cold either.

"I'm afraid I've taken too much of your time. The telephone on the right is for castle personnel. I will be on the other end of it if you are in need of something. The one on the left is a regular one."

Kagome looked at the two, wondering why she hadn't noticed them before. They were just on the huge desk. 'Maybe that's why.' She thought.

"Okay, thank you." She'd said that phrase these past days more times than in her entire life. The fact seemed to amuse her. Without being ill mannered, she wasn't the most… thankful of persons. She'd always been more of a pragmatic, and used to doing things her way. So she never really _needed_ to thank anybody.

:---:

Kagome thought she was lost. No…she _knew_ she was lost.

'How did this happen?' she looked around and saw nothing but trees.

'Higurashi, why _da hell_ did you enter the woods, girl? There's nothing here but insects, small rodents and plants!'

She took another look around. If she'd bothered to take the compass, she would have been able to get out from this place. She put her hands against her hips, and closed her eyes for a minute.

The forest was quiet, compared to what she's seen before. The sky was still grey, but she could barely see any of it, thanks to the tall, trees. Thick shrubbery grew everywhere. The sound of bird songs and flapping wings reached her ears, and some fussing around the bushes. She hoped they were rabbits, or something equally harmless.

Well, she'd been in the Amazon, but she had a guide and never had to kill poisonous snakes or something like that. She was just a journalist, not Joan of Arc, for God sake!

Her day had been quiet… to quiet, as some would say. She strayed up and down the gardens, observing the surroundings and taking mental notes. She did have a tape recorder, but she didn't think it was the case to use it just yet. After a full day of wandering around the garden, which had really taken _an entire day_ to circle, she figured she could as well enter the woods nearby.

Well, it wasn't really nearby, but actually two miles away from the garden gates. She'd been warned not to stay there too long, and definitely not to allow nightfall to catch her there. Apparently, these places weren't as safe as they should have been. Kagome wondered if there still was wildlife in the forest.

Her wristwatch and the dim light both claimed she was definitely in trouble. She'd taken a wrong turn somewhere, that was all. She just had to regain her focus and she'll be out of here in a second. A distant sound caught her attention. It sounded like somebody running. The steps were crowded and fast, though, as if there were more that two legs. Kagome took a step back.

She lost the trail of her thoughts, and stared as far as she could see, in the forest. The trees were slowly bending their branches from the wind's taunting, and the ground was already covered with dead leaves. It was moist, the ground, the woods gave the impression they've just been ducked into water. She didn't realize she stood there for twenty minutes, listening to almost nothing.

A chill passed through her body, and she asked herself why she was so afraid. Fog was beginning to climb down the hills, responding to the call of the imminent dusk, and was spreading through the forest, around her feet, like smoke. It was getting cold, and Kagome slowly turned to one side. She had the vague idea that that was the right way, although she was running blind, by now. It was getting darker and darker, and the mist really didn't make things easier for her.

Her body went stiff and the blood froze in her veins when she heard the moaning of a lonely wolf echoing through the forest.

'Wolves? Do they still live here?'

She gave herself a mental slap over the face. Of course they still lived here! This was by all accounts a wild domain, thanks to the master's refusal to allow visitation. She had no idea what to do if she faced one of those creatures.

The cry finally stopped, and she continued her path, almost holding her breath. She was listening to every sound and attentive to every motion. By now, she was even aware of the small insects crawling on the surface of the ground.

The trees were still wet, proof that the sun wasn't reaching that far inside the forest, not that there had been any sun that day. And that damned mist! She was shivering, in her cotton shirt and those pants she had on. If the weather had anything to do with it, more than the atmosphere itself, she couldn't tell. Maybe both were as bad, because it was dark by now, and she was just about to give up hope, and call it a night.

She leaned against a tree, and dropped her head to her chest.

"How could I have been so reckless? It's so unlike me…" she whispered, but immediately realized that there was really no point in regretting it now. She had to get out.

Again, the wolf's howl scared her senseless. And as if that wasn't enough, she got the impression that somewhere in the distance, something was on the move. Something large in size… _definitely not a rodent_. She was all alone, and couldn't see seven feet in front of her. The moon wasn't out tonight, but even if it were, she doubted it would have done her much good.

A rumble just ten feet away from her made Kagome wince and let out a startled cry. Her eyes were wide open and she was clenching her fists and teeth. She was almost prepared for the wolf to jump out and grab her throat. And soon enough, a deep growl reached her ears.

She backed further more into the tree behind her, as the growls intensified. There was a deep sound, like a bark coming from some sort of beast she couldn't make out, and the sound of bones cracking. She heard, or more like felt something rapidly approaching her, and she froze against the tree closing her eyes, waiting for claws to rip her apart.

Instead, she heard a sharp _swoosh_, and felt a body hitting the ground just at her feet. She felt something warm being splashed on her face and neck, and trailing down to her chest. Her nails were thrust into the tree now, and she didn't realize she'd let out a shivering sigh as her face was being splashed with blood. She could smell the coppery life liquid, and she felt paralyzed.

Slowly, she opened her eyes only to find two golden bees sting at them.

"What are you doing here?" his voice clearly stated he was a _bit_ angered. Kagome blinked and cleared her throat.

"I …"

'God, this is gonna sound so stupid!' she thought, but nevertheless, it was the truth.

"I got lost." She'd been right. It _did_ sound incredibly stupid. She took a quick look at his right hand. His claws were a little longer than usual, but just before her eyes, they gained their normal length. However, the fact that they were dripping with blood wasn't the most settling of sights.

"Weren't you instructed not to leave the gardens after nightfall?" he stepped towards her, and Kagome found that his imposing figure could be as threatening as the wolf trying to take her life, a few seconds earlier. The poor beast rested lifeless at her feet, drenching her shoes in its warm blood.

"I'm sorry, it was daytime when I got here and…" her voice suddenly fell into nothingness, when he stretched his arm to her in a rapid movement. She took a look at his blood stained claws, and he slowly moved his fingers. Kagome couldn't do anything but stare at his hand.

Those long, perfectly shaped, white fingers, covered with the bright red blood. She could bet it was still warm, and felt the urge to touch his hand. She'd actually begun moving her arm to his, when he said:

"This was by no means pleasant." Kagome's eyes shot up at his motionless face, and she dropped her hand.

"I try to avoid killing perfectly healthy animals who live in my forest, Miss Higurashi. The habitat is ill balanced as it is, you see. Maybe…" he took another step, and he almost touched her chest with his own, as he bent his head to look her in the eye.

"….Maybe I should have let him _eat_ you." She winced and widened her eyes at his cold attitude.

"What?" she cried out, noticing that he'd said _him_ regarding to the wolf. He was talking about it as if it were human.

He tilted his head and a few strands of white hair brushed her cheek. She watched as a drop of blood made its way to his chin. If the look in his eyes had been drastically different, he would have looked like that angel in the painting. He smiled, but it was such a shadowy smile that she wished he would have glared at her.

"Well, I guess it's too late now. He's dead." He took a look at her feet, where the creature laid dead. He leaned to her, and lightly pressed on her chest with his torso. One of his hands was placed on the tree behind her, and his face came closer and closer. Kagome didn't know what to think.

It really wasn't a romantic situation; there was a dead wolf bleeding at her feet! But Sesshoumaru's lips moved to her ear, and she could feel his warm breath.

"Don't worry; I wouldn't let a mindless beast take your life." She thought he smiled… like, a real smile, but she couldn't see his face.

Then, he rapidly moved away from her, and she felt exposed. Shooting a glance at the young woman from the corner of his eye, Sesshoumaru allowed her to regain her composure. She'd handled this fairly well, all matters considered. He'd especially enjoyed the fact that she didn't scream. Even as he'd splashed that blood over her face. He wanted to do that from the moment he saw her.

Her skin was so smooth, and her violet eyes too clear… The red of the blood suited her, so he took the chance offered to him, and within a second, he plunged his claws in the wolf, and deliberately splashed her face with blood.

'I must say, she was brave. And she looks so beautiful now… Wild and blood stained.' Sesshoumaru thought. He resisted the urge of licking the blood off her face, as he leaned to her. If it were _her_ blood, he wouldn't have stopped himself. But as it were…

"Are you coming?" he asked in that low, emotionless voice, and she pulled the tips of her feet from under the wolf's carcass. They were covered in blood, and she felt a little disgusted.

With a last look behind, she began walking behind him, as mist surrounded them both. She could barely see anything now, and Sesshoumaru wore that long black cape. His shoulders were broad, and his movements as flowing as ever. The thing that stood out was his white hair. Actually, that was her main point of orientation, because of the color. It was reflecting the little light still around.

:---:

Within minutes, they were out of the woods. She'd been correct about the direction she first took, before the wolf had appeared. 'Well, at least I know my skills aren't completely useless!' she thought, staring at Sesshoumaru's back.

"Are you a child?" she heard his emotionless voice, and felt a little odd.

"Excuse me?"

"Children walk behind me, usually. Are you a child?" He didn't stop walking, and she tried to keep up by his side.

'That sure was a strange way to put it… Wait! What children?'

Kagome hadn't seen a single child at Muncaster. Well, he did live for so long, maybe he had encounters, or… did Sesshoumaru have any children? Suddenly, she realized she didn't know anything about that aspect of his life. Hmm… her investigation journalist beeper did a _click_, inside her mind.

He was walking silently beside her, eyes set on Muncaster's Eastern wall, now in sight. She followed his gaze for a minute, and then stared up at him. She didn't really know how to ask this… The blood was beginning to dry on her feet ant it felt uncomfortable.

She tried to ignore it, remembering a much more uncomfortable feeling: being half underwater, with snakes swimming around in your pants. Now, _that_ was uncomfortable! Ah, the good old days when she was in the Amazon! That river was _death_ impersonated!

She took another look at the taiyoukai. His profile was strong, well shaped, his nose was bound to give him that aristocratic look, his chin up all the time, although he was a tall person as it was, his shoulders slightly pulled back, and his back stiff. His eyes were rarely straying about the place, except for the moments he was truly interested in something.

"Yes?" his voice woke Kagome from her reverie. She blinked.

"Is there something you want to ask me?" he continued, seeing as she didn't say anything. He really wasn't used to being the one who would start a conversation. People usually nosed into his life, curious and presumptuous. He'd thought she would do the same, after all that was her job… both officially and unofficially.

But Kagome wasn't nosing. She was just listening at his doors. That thought almost made him smile. She was forming a question, he could tell. She had look of deliberation across her blood stained face. She hadn't wiped those drops off. That was an interesting detail, he thought.

"I wanted to… thank you for… saving my life." Those words felt like they were being pulled out of her mouth with a forceps. This was new! She'd never said that before.

He looked at her, almost amused. Almost.

"That's not it." He said all calm and know-it-all. She dreaded his attitude. She felt like a toy in his presence, and wondered if he was doing it on purpose, and if he was doing it to everybody, or was she a special case.

"No, it's not." She confessed.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, have you got any children?" the words sounded more pertinent than she'd thought.

'Wow, the journalist inside is certainly taking the credit for this one!'

She saw him narrow his eyes for a second, and thought she saw a wave of grief passing over his face.

"I did." There was a tint of sadness in his voice that Kagome wasn't prepared for. She eyed him a little compassionate, and decided not to ask more of it. If she could read a _shade_ of sadness in his expression, there was bound to be something truly hurtful about this child.

"Don't you want to know about her?" He seemed a little surprised about her silence. Kagome shook her head.

"I don't want to disturb you." He widened his eyes a bit, but Kagome didn't see it. It was too dark, and she wasn't looking at him anyway.

Sesshoumaru appreciated the gesture, and noticed that this woman could, awkwardly enough, read his emotions. That was interesting. He was usually impossible to read, especially by mortals. Well, immortals also, if he were to think of it. It was "_a must"_, as one would say, in order to survive this long. He took a glimpse at this mortal, and unwillingly set his eyes on her neck.

He pressed his eyelids together for a second, turning his head from her direction. Sometimes, he hated the Hunger. Actually, he hated it quite often. Good thing was, for tonight he was settled.

They walked in silence to the garden gates, where he opened them easily and allowed her entrance. The fence was tall and massive, painted in a dark shade of green. The gate had an arching vault on which used to bloom some roses. They were dead now, but she could imagine how beautiful it looked, in the summer.

Sesshoumaru closed the gate and she waited for him to join her walk on the alley, towards the main entrance.

"Do you care for dinner, Kagome?" he asked, as soon as they were in front of the stairway. Ethan popped out from nowhere and threw Kagome an almost disgusted look, while taking Sesshoumaru's black cape. He didn't ask about the blood stains, which she found somewhat weird.

"Yes, thank you." She really was hungry.

"We'll be having dinner as usual, Ethan." Kagome didn't know exactly what he meant by that, but assumed he was talking about the menu.

"You'd best clean yourself, and so will I. Dinner will be served within an hour. Emma will lead you; I trust you've met her by now." She took a look at her blood drenched feet, and decided she needed a shower. Badly.

"I have."

He nodded, and she did the same. Kagome headed for the stairs without further ado. The angel was still pleating for something… she swore she would understand his plea, until it was time to leave this place. The paining was too unsettling, and she wanted to know what was so special about it.

:---:

She'd just finished her shower, not bothering to wash her hair again. She would ruin it, if she were to wash and blow-dry it that often! And she liked her hair… It was nice and wild. Never could make it sit still. But she liked it.

Surprisingly, her luggage was in the room, and she smiled widely at the sight of it.

"Thank you, dear God!" she said out loud. She couldn't sleep another night in that negligee. She took the large black towel off and put on some underwear. However, she decided not to wear her clothes in the evening, but to compliment her host for going through the trouble of offering her those gowns.

And besides, she loved them. She hated the negligee, but she loved those delicate dresses resting in the closet. She rarely wore stuff like that. Not that she couldn't afford them, but she didn't have the chance. She was always on the move to strange places, and her outfit had to be adequate to traveling.

So she put on another dress, this time choosing one of an electric blue color, with an uneven cut. One of her shoulders was left bare, as the other was covered in a long, bell shaped sleeve. Her breasts were caught by a small corset, which let the dress unfold just beneath them. That made her look like she was gliding, when she walked, seeing as the dress was also very long and silky.

She went to the door, but the moment she touched the handle, a cold breeze gave her goose bumps. She stopped in that position, looking over her shoulder. The window wasn't opened, it was too cold outside. She wanted to open the door, but had the distinct feeling that someone was just behind her.

She rapidly turned her head around and caught what she thought was a whisper. It scared her a little, and she turned to face the large room. There it was again!

'What the hell is going on here?' Kagome was beginning to wonder if this place really was haunted!

She thought she'd heard a muffled woman's voice, and rushed to the window, but there was nobody there. The alley in front of the castle was cold and empty.

She stared into the night, attentive, and felt a cold shiver pass through her.

"_Take me! Please take me!"_

Kagome flinched at the whisper, and turned as if she were burnt. She'd heard the woman's voice echoing through her mind. She took in a few violent breaths, and clenched her hands on the window curtains, eyes wide open and searching the room. Now, this was truly scaring her.

The knock on the door almost gave her a heart attack. Emma's soft voice could be heard, after a minute in which Kagome couldn't say anything to the poor maid.

"May I come in?" Kagome was still shivering. That voice had been so real, so sad, pleating for something… It was a moan.

"Yes." She managed to say, and saw Emma's pleasant face appear across the room. The girl changed her smile for a worried look when she saw Kagome backed into the window and scared senseless.

"Miss Kagome? What's wrong?" The young maid approached Kagome and stood still just in front of her.

"I thought…" Kagome began, but figured the woman would think her crazy. She didn't seem the type who would believe in things like ghosts.

"Yes…?" Emma was eyeing her confused. Kagome shook her head and blinked a few times, taking in air.

"Nothing. Is dinner served?" Emma seemed a little distraught, and momentarily looked about the room.

"Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru awaits you." She gave a small, awkward smile, and Kagome nodded, following the maid into the dining room.

Before she opened the large doors of the dining room, Emma looked at Kagome attentively, and said the strangest of things.

"I think you've just met our Kikyo." She raised her eyebrows, and Kagome looked at her confused. Then, Emma pushed the doors open and Kagome couldn't ask her anything. It was rude to talk to the personnel, while ignoring the host. Sesshoumaru was seated at the head of the large table that rested in the middle of the dining room.

Kagome heard the doors falling closed behind her and she again felt exposed. His eyes were stuck on her once again. She vaguely wondered who _their Kikyo_ was, and tried to keep her walk steady as she approached the taiyoukai. Boy, was he unsettling!

:---:


	5. Dining with Sesshoumaru

Unliving

Chapter five – Dining with Sesshoumaru

Kagome slowly advanced towards Sesshoumaru. He was staring at her in his usual composed manner, and stood up when she got closer to the table. He had a glass with _very_ red wine in front of him, but other than that, the table was set for one person: herself.

She found that to be a little weird, but tried to ignore it. He wore a black coat that reached just above his knees, and a dark blue shirt with black pants. His white hair was caught behind his back in a lose manner, because there were strands hanging over his shoulders and face. He gave a nod towards her and helped her to her seat.

Kagome had never been treated with such care before. Well, she occasionally received a door-opening, and maybe a hand-kiss, but his entire stance seemed to be considerate towards her. It felt nice, to be the pampered one, for a change. She thought it was obvious he'd been educated in different times.

She noticed that her own glass was empty, but just then Ethan materialized at her side, almost startling Kagome. He opened a bottle of wine and poured some into her glass. The liquid was almost black, and thicker than your usual one. She'd never seen such a wine. She immediately figured that it must be very old, because black wine was so rare these days.

Ethan disappeared just as discretely as he had appeared, and Kagome noticed that there rarely seemed to be an occasion in which Sesshoumaru to order something to this man. He simply _knew_ what his master wanted. 'Maybe he's worked here for a long time.' She figured.

The freshly opened bottle rested on the table, at little distance from her. It wasn't proper to shove the bottle in front of the person who stood at the table.

'_Freshly_ opened bottle…' Kagome pondered. She took a glimpse at Sesshoumaru's almost full glass. Truth be told, _his_ wine was red. _Very_ red. She dismissed the thought.

"May I compliment you for your appearance, Miss Higurashi? You look very beautiful this evening." Kagome went crimson, and thanked God for the dim light of the chandelier above them. She never _did_ know how to take a compliment. But he was youkai, and she immediately realized he'd seen her blush. Sesshoumaru gave out a small smile of content.

"Thank you." She said, barely hearing her own words. She was seated just at his side, and she was sure he'd heard her, though.

"I was merely trying to make you more comfortable, Kagome. I see you are tensed." His deep voice cut through the air, and she found herself forced to stare back at him. His look was telling her that that hadn't been his intention at all. That shadowy smile stated loud and clear that he was taking pleasure in toying with her.

'I'll be damned if I'll let him mock me like this!' she decided, and forced a smile upon her face.

"Not at all… I am merely a little cold." She said, noticing that there was no fire burning tonight.

He tilted his head a little, and took a long, silent gaze into her eyes. She felt analyzed. Kagome broke eye contact, and reached for the wine, clinging to the delicate glass as if it were a life saver.

She took a sip, aware that his eyes were watching her move. She was feeling a bit uncomfortable at the thought that his gaze would settle on her lips, because it was only natural to do so. Everybody did it, when they saw someone eat or drink. They would look at the lips.

The thick liquid invaded her mouth, and its sweet-soury taste surprised her a little. It was certainly different from everything she'd been drinking in her entire life. It was almost like a potion. If someone had offered her this drink without her seeing the bottle, there were high chances she would have had no idea it was indeed wine.

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru stood up and headed for the fireplace. He reached above it and pushed a small bump on the wall, holding a lighter in the fireplace. The fire sprung up, and soon enough flames were dancing inside it. Kagome raised her eyebrows. He straightened his back, and nodded to the fireplace, while walking back.

"This one is gas-lit. It is unpleasant to smell whatever's sustaining the fire while eating dinner, I think."

'He _thinks_?' Kagome asked herself, finding his choice of words a little off. Like he wouldn't eat here, but he thought that it wasn't comfortable for whoever did. Right then, she realized he was _pure blooded_ _youkai_. Of course he wouldn't eat here! They didn't eat as often as humans, and when they did, they only had raw meat, in huge quantities.

"It can be." She answered, a little more at ease now. She was still wondering what was about that glass of wine he had in front of him that pulled at her attention so much.

"Earlier today, you wanted to know about my child." She was surprised to say the least. Sesshoumaru didn't seem like the type to just spill information about his personal life, like that. She remembered his wave of sadness.

"I don't want to pry, Sesshoumaru-sama. We'd best talk about our business." But he didn't seem interested in that. He narrowed his eyes.

"Why did you ask, then?"

"I was only curious if someone like you… who's lived for so long… ever had… children. It seems unlikely that you haven't any."

"But I did." He put his elbows on the table, which gave him an uncharacteristic appearance. He seemed more relaxed. It was nice… for a change.

Kagome just listened. It looked like he didn't mind her asking.

"Her name was Rin. She was a human." Kagome widened her eyes in surprise.

"Human?"

"Yes, human. Well she was obviously not my biological child, but I have seen her as such since I… found her." He'd almost said _revived her_, but he wasn't entirely certain how she would take it.

"You've adopted her?" Kagome was truly impressed. The taiyoukai had a heart! What a huge discovery! And he'd cared for a little human girl. Her image of Sesshoumaru suffered a drastic change.

"There was no need for that, in those times. She simply became mine."

Kagome wondered what_ times_ were those.

"It was a long time ago…"

"Before the youkai wars?" Sesshoumaru eyed her, looking almost impressed. He narrowed his eyes. This woman was truly something else. She'd done her homework.

Kagome caught his look, and shrugged her shoulders.

"Chichiue's a hanyou. He's told me stuff. I mean… things." She bit her bottom lip for a second. Now, that was certainly not an appropriate language! _Stuff… _What was she thinking?

Sesshoumaru stood up.

"Come. I want to show you something." Kagome didn't ask anything, and followed him out the doors. They took a right turn, and walked in silence for a minute or so, until he pushed open two large, metallic doors. The harsh sound broke that heavy silence that was constantly flooding the castle.

This time, Kagome stood in the doorframe.

He entered first, and held the door open.

"Come in." She took a look about the room, her eyes resting on the sundry… objects there. It looked strange, all those old and new objects carefully placed all over the area.

She stepped in a little insecure, and he closed the door.

"It's the weaponry room." He tried to settle her emotions. He could practically hear her heartbeat, and her fast breath.

"Oh…" was all Kagome could word out, looking at the vast room, the armors from different ages in time, the weapons, all from different times and places. Many could still be used, she noticed. They were very well preserved, and some were pretty new, like the guns and fire weapons in general. He walked in front of her, and Kagome followed, carefully eyeing a bow and some arrows. She passed a dark Japanese armor, with sharp spikes on one shoulder, and a beautiful yellow ribbon with blue patterns, tied at the waist.

Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder and smiled, but said nothing. She passed by a huge boomerang and some sort of armor, seemingly designed for a woman. 'It must have taken a very strong woman to handle that boomerang!' Kagome thought. She was still pondering over that thought, and nearly stumbled across Sesshoumaru, who had stopped in front of a wall.

He turned to let her see them. Two marvelous Japanese swords were pinned to the wall. She figured they were ancient. She just stared at the beautiful handwork, as she came closer. Sesshoumaru was simply delighted to see the look on her face. Her wide open eyes, her parted lips, the way she was breathing… She was glowing. She reached for one of them.

"Be careful." He said, and just then, she felt a sting in her arm. The sword had released a dark blue wave of… what was that? She turned a startled gaze to him, and he raised an eyebrow. Kagome frowned and reached for the sword again. This time she could clearly see the sword releasing some kind of… shield, but it was like it was trying to grab her and hurt her, not to keep her at a distance, like any normal shield would.

"Where… did you get…" she took another look at him, and the sword stung her again, this time more powerful. She pulled her hand back quickly, staring at the weapon.

"Tzt!" he said, and took the sword from the wall. With a practiced move, he stepped back from Kagome and unsheathed it.

She was staring at him. He seemed to _fit_ in that environment. The sword in his hands, the concentrated look upon his face… It fit him. She saw the blade releasing that dark blue aura again, but just for a moment, as it quickly withdrew under Sesshoumaru's touch. He swung it a few times, just for practice, and she was amazed at how good he was with it. She smiled widely, looking at this magnificent demon. The word_ demon_ fit him better now, with this strange ancient weapon in his hand.

Sesshoumaru saw her fascination, and was highly thrilled with it, but only let out a rogue smile that made Kagome shiver. But not with fear. It was like the shiver from the first kiss. It was blissful. Sesshoumaru looked positively surreal swinging that sword. She was hooked by his imposing figure.

"Meet Tokijin." He pointed the sword at her, and Kagome thought it was the first time a pure blooded youkai did that. Point a sword at her. She nodded.

"Good to meet you, Tokijin." She looked at him, following the blade's length to his steady gaze. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow, and then sheathed his sword.

He placed it back and looked at Kagome. She was staring at the other sword. It seemed even older than the other one.

"Will this one try to hurt me too?" she looked at Sesshoumaru, moving her hand towards the sword.

"No." His word was so steady, and she was sure it was the truth. She carefully took the weapon from its place on the wall.

Her father had a few swords himself, but none this old. However, she knew how to handle them, because Kazuki had taught her a thing or two about sword fighting, due to her interest in them. She didn't know that much though.

She unsheathed it, and looked down the blade. It was old, but well kept, and Kagome thought she felt a tug at her senses when she held it. She raised her look to Sesshoumaru, who was eyeing her attentively.

"Uhm…" she began, but thought it would seem stupid to tell him what she felt.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and looked at her as if she were a little green alien.

"You can feel it?" his words were carefully balanced, but he was now truly impressed.

"I can feel _something_!" she said, not without emotion in her voice.

He couldn't believe it. There were centuries since any youkai had felt Tenseiga's call. Even _he_ couldn't feel it anymore. He cursed his tainted blood, and resumed staring at the woman. She was slightly bent by her back and attentively studying the sword. She cringed, and shot her head up at him.

"Did you feel that?" Kagome hurriedly whispered, startled. Sesshoumaru could simply not believe his eyes and ears. Her youkai blood was supposed to be so diluted, that she couldn't possibly feel anything from Tenseiga.

"Meet Tenseiga." He said, in a simple manner. Kagome raised the shiny blade in front of her eyes, swinging it as well as she could. She hadn't touched a sword for years.

"I see you're not untrained." Sesshoumaru stated. Kagome blushed.

"Chichiue taught me." She said, looking at the marvelous weapon in her hand. She felt connected with it. It was like the blade was calling to her, asking her to do something…

She took a mindful look at it, and felt its pulse.

'Pulse!' Kagome was still, and focused.

_Save him…_

She widened her eyes. She was clearly hearing things. But she hadn't exactly _heard_ those words. They were more likely placed inside her mind. She _felt_ them.

_Save him…_

'Save who?' she frantically asked herself, and Tenseiga pulsed again, stronger even, this time actually moving her arm up, and pointing towards Sesshoumaru.

Her look followed the length of the blade, and Kagome felt a shiver pass through her body. She froze, not knowing if this was the answer to her unspoken question. Her eyes were stuck on his. Sesshoumaru had an unreadable expression. He might have been shocked, he might have been hopeful, she really couldn't tell.

"This sword…" Kagome's voice broke into a helpless sigh.

"Yes?" his voice was calm. But he wasn't.

"It… calls… to me." She thought she'd said the stupidest thing ever. But Sesshoumaru nodded.

"It would seem so." He walked forward, and took the sword from her hand. Kagome almost fell when she briefly touched her fingers. He was as cold as ice. She noticed he was ever paler now.

He put it back on the wall, and decided not to tell her about Tenseiga's power, now that she'd felt some of it. If she were to find that it brought back the dead, he would have some explaining to do as for why it was pulsing in his presence. And it really wasn't the time, yet.

"That's fantastic… Two swords… One so peaceful, and the other so… dark." She'd meant to say _evil_, but figured it would upset him.

"I've had them for a very long time. Come on, let's get back. You haven't eaten your dinner yet." He waited for her to rip her eyes off Tenseiga, and walked behind her. He took a fleeting look over his shoulder, at the sword of Haven.

'What are you doing, Tenseiga? Why _her_?' Sesshoumaru felt how his plans came crushing down around him. Kagome was as far from his hopes as she could be. He'd brought her here for something entirely different. He wanted to offer her something, but instead it seemed like she was the one who could offer him a great deal more.

The taiyoukai wasn't about to leap head forward. Kagome hadn't been able to feel much more that a vague pulse from Tenseiga. Maybe it was just reminiscence. But it wasn't like that sword to act out randomly. It had a purpose, and he had to find out what that purpose was, before he would make a huge mistake.

They headed back to the dining room in silence. As soon as she sat back down, Kagome stared at the taiyoukai.

"Thank you." He looked a bit distraught.

"For showing me your swords. They're marvelous."

He nodded, and the next few minutes were occupied with Ethan's fussing around to serve dinner.

After half an hour, he still hadn't finished that glass of wine, although Kagome had ate dinner, and was at her second drink. She was getting a bit dizzy. Maybe she shouldn't drink this one. The thing was strong, and she had low tolerance to alcohol as it was. Sesshoumaru kept stirring the wine in his glass, and she was watching his movement.

"What happened to Rin?" she asked.

"What do you _think_ happened to her?" Kagome was about to kick herself. Of course she'd died! She was human, and lived so long ago…

'I'm the biggest idiot that's ever shaded this Earth!' she closed her eyes for a second, and looked at him.

"I'm sorry; I don't know what I was thinking…"

"It's alright; it was a long time ago. You know, humans are so quick to give their hearts away, so fast in their actions, so hasty…" The look on his face was one of deep thought. She'd never seen him like that.

Kagome couldn't think of anything to say, so she just listened. It seemed like he was the one who wanted to say something, this evening.

"Rin was just like that. I found her broken, abused and lonely. But she smiled at me. With all her sorrow, she smiled at me. I could not understand that, then. I must confess I do not fully understand it now." He shook his head a little, staring into the glass.

"She gave her heart away so easily. To her, I was Sesshoumaru-sama, her Lord, her protector. She needed me, and as time passed I found that I needed her. It was that simple." Sesshoumaru looked at Kagome, and for a fleeting moment, she saw love in his cold eyes. But it passed just as quickly as it came, and he gained back his usual composure.

"She was a different kind of human. I've never seen one so selfless, and I do believe I shall never see one again. She changed me. But she is gone now and I only have her memory left to me, but no regrets of her presence in my life. That was Rin. That _is_ Rin."

Kagome felt her eyes sting. He'd really loved that child. She felt sorry she didn't have the chance to meet her. The human who could melt this demon's heart was certainly worth meeting.

She just stood there, in front of her half empty glass of wine. The second one. She was definitely dizzy. She'd had more to drink than it was appropriate. But she could still see right, and that was a good sign.

"I'm afraid I've bored you, Kagome." Sesshoumaru said, his low voice forcing her eyes up.

"Oh, not at all. I was just thinking that I would have loved to meet Rin. She seems… out of the ordinary." It was the truth, she really thought that, and Sesshoumaru could see it in her eyes, he could read it in her soft voice. The look of her was beginning to distract him. He looked at her neck, at the smooth line that defined her throat, and down to her collarbone.

'What's _wrong _with me?' He was betraying his own plans. His mind was more and more caught by her, and her wild scent. She smelled like the field flowers. How he missed the sight of field flowers bathed in sunlight! How he missed staring up at the blue sky, at the white clouds, and hearing the birds sing! All of those things he ached for… were forever sealed shut to him, now.

His eyes were blurry, as he stood up and mumbled an excuse to leave for a few moments. Kagome nodded, but didn't have the chance to say anything, because he simply stormed out of the room. She remained there, wondering if she'd done something wrong.

She thought she caught a glimpse of his fangs rubbing against each other as he passed by her. They were certainly longer than usual, and that could mean only one thing: he'd been angry about something. But Kagome never thought that Sesshoumaru could be angry with himself.

After sitting there in silence for what she thought were ten minutes, she stood up and slowly advanced towards his seat. The chair was cast aside carelessly, which really didn't fit his profile and the glass of wine almost untouched on the table. She stared at it for a moment. It just seemed _too_ red. She swallowed and took a fleeting look to the doors.

Kagome couldn't believe what she was thinking.

'It couldn't possibly be… blood. He wouldn't… I mean, why would he drink blood?' she was fighting with her own instinct, which was screaming that_ yes_, it _was_ blood!

With a second rapid look to the doors, she lifted the glass and took it to her nose. It smelled good enough. It _could_ have been wine. It certainly didn't smell like _blood_. But her curiosity got the best of her, and she put the glass against her lips, barely touching it. She slipped some fluid into her mouth and almost choked.

"Do you like that one better?" his voice spread across the room, and Kagome nearly dropped the glass. She placed it on the table carefully. It was wine. Very good, old wine. She felt like an idiot. How could she think something like that?

"I'm… sorry." She mumbled. He seemed more at ease now. She wondered where he'd gone to. Sesshoumaru waited for her to take her seat and sat down himself.

"Would you like mine?" he offered, and Kagome blushed a bright shade of red. She could simply _die_.

She wished it wouldn't cross his mind that she actually thought him a vampire, because that would have been just too much to handle. Her image was severely bruised as it was.

"No, thank you, I think I've had too much to drink already." She just wanted to sink into that chair and disappear. However, Sesshoumaru didn't seem to mind her attempt. In fact, he was looking fairly amused. He took a sip from his glass, and laid back with a satisfied look on his face.

Trying not to laugh, Sesshoumaru proceeded into telling her about his company. He started with the basics, how it was founded, how he set out with the idea and who were his first clients. Then, he went deeper into the company's history, as deep as he was allowed to go with her. It wasn't a really good idea to just give bout certain information to the open public.

She took mental notes, although it became tiresome after a while. She found herself forced to postpone the rest of their conversation until the next evening. He seemed to agree without any sign of annoyance and offered to take her to her room. Kagome politely accepted, and within a few minutes she was at her door.

The castle was as quiet as ever, and the same went for Sesshoumaru. She figured he'd already spoken his share for the next few days. That made her lose a smile, and she immediately realized she was a little drunk. Just a little though, enough not to be able to handle her emotions properly.

Kagome desperately wanted to put some distance between herself and this… man. Well, she was aware he was a demon, but when she looked at his face, those gorgeous eyes, and that body… 'Oh, dear God, I'm so drunk!'

"Good night, Kagome." His husky voice floated around her for a second. She resisted the impulse to smile like an idiot.

"Good night, Sesshoumaru-sama." She gave a somewhat insecure bow, and slipped inside the room. The last thing she saw was his profile, as he turned to leave. She closed the door and leaned against it, gliding down. She embraced her legs, and let her forehead fall on her knees.

"I am so done for!" she moaned. She could hear the flames cracking and twisting in the fireplace, and lifted her head to see the shadows spreading in the room. Her eyes fell on the bed.

'Oh, I wanna sleeeep!' she thought, and got undressed. She searched for a large T-shirt to wear, and slipped under the covers, not bothering to take a shower anymore. She already had two for the day, and she wasn't a pig for God sake!

"Aaaww, kimochii!"

Ever since she got here, she'd lost her luggage; she'd been almost eaten by a wolf, scared by a ghost, attacked by a sword, _spoken to_ by another one, and let us not forget about the werewolves! This was too much! She wondered if her nerves were strong enough for this place. Oh, and there was Sesshoumaru himself! He was really an enigma. Suddenly, her investigation instincts seemed not to function so well. She just wanted to **sleep**.

Her eyelids fell heavy against each other, and Kagome was out like a light in a matter of seconds.

:---:

A woman was whispering out a plea. It was a faint voice, but she could clearly make out the words. She said "_Take me."_ Over and over again. Kagome couldn't see anything because of the mist, and she was choking because of it. It was so thick… Suddenly she realized it wasn't just mist. It was smoke. She kept walking forward, but didn't seem to make any progress.

_Take me, please, I'll die without you!_

A firm hand grabbed her shoulders and she felt claws pierce her flesh. She screamed.

:---:

Kagome looked up at the ceiling. She was sweaty, cold and shivering. The room was silent and only lit by the dim fire. The woman's voice still traveled back and forth through her mind.

"Kikyo…" she whispered, and the wind blew the curtains about the window frame. She climbed down from her bed and looked outside. It was about dawn, and she could see the sky turning orange. Stripes of purple glow streamed through the fiery color of the first light, and the hills were beginning to take life. The sunrise could be perfectly seen from there, and she leaned her head against the frame, taking in a deep breath of fresh air.

Autumn was clearly in the atmosphere… She frowned and thought about Kikyo. Her voice was clearly imprinted in Kagome's memory.

"Who were you, Kikyo?"

:---:


	6. Taking it slow

Unliving

Chapter six – Taking it slow

Kagome rubbed her eyes and realized they hurt. She blinked a few times and tried to focus. She'd been typing for three hours, and her hands were now resting numbly on the keyboard. Her mind went blank all of a sudden, and she sighed. She still had this sentence to finish. She looked at the pulsing cursor on the sheet and decided she couldn't do it. She couldn't think about the place, the surroundings, or the company.

She was neither able to write her story, nor her father's report anymore. _He_ was the only one she could think of. His husky voice, his deep gold eyes, his flowing movements, the light that sometimes sparked on his face, and the darkness that often covered his features.

Sesshoumaru-sama was inside her head, no matter what she did, where she was… He was there. So many mysteries wrapped around one single person… Her head was spinning, and she decided this was no longer about her story. It was about him. She wanted to get to know him, he'd intrigued her. He had tugged at her senses, took her to the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows.

She felt pulled towards him, but pushed back too. It was like he wanted her to know him… but then when she did get to see, really see inside him, he would push her away. He only wanted her to see some parts, those parts that he allowed himself to unveil. Kagome couldn't help asking herself what he was hiding, that was so terrible.

Her head was still a little heavy from that cup of wine… oops, _cups_ of wine she'd had last night. She looked at the clock.

"Yeah! Lunch time!" she shouted and closed the laptop. She jumped out from the bed and picked up the phone. A few seconds later, she spoke to Emma.

"Emma, could I have dinner now?"

"Of course, Miss Kagome. Where would you like it to be served?"

"Do I get to choose?" Kagome rapidly asked. She'd thought lunch was served, as dinner, in the dining room.

"Well, you may have it in your room."

"Oh, that's fine; I won't make you carry that tray all the way up here, Emma. The dining room will do just fine."

"Lunch will be served within half an hour, Miss Kagome."

"Thank you, Emma. Bye-bye!" She thought she heard a giggle.

"… Good… bye." The young maid said, a little insecure, before hanging the phone.

Kagome shook her head. "So uptight, these people! Poor girl…"

:---:

'What else is there to do here?' Kagome asked herself, looking at the emptied table. Lunch had been great, but she was bored to death right now. She was used to being on the move all the time and she couldn't simply stand around doing nothing.

Emma entered, and before the poor girl could say anything, Kagome cornered her.

"Emma, who was Kikyo?" her hands rested on her hips, and she was frowning at the young maid. Emma backed a little, smiling awkwardly.

"Uhm… well, you see, she lived a very long time ago, and…" Kagome was still frowning. Emma's face turned serious.

"You'd better sit down for this one. It's a little complicated."

They both sat down, Emma practically had to be forced into it, and Kagome leaned forward, with her elbows on the table. Emma was stiff.

"You see, Kikyo was… How should I begin this?" She seemed to ponder over the thought, and Kagome could feel her patience running out. She was one step away from tapping her foot against the floor. But she waited for Emma to put her thoughts in order.

"You know that Muncaster castle was built around the year 1300." Kagome nodded.

"Well, it is said, and beware this is a legend, that Kikyo was a young woman living on the Lord's domain, some two hundred years after that."

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Kagome asked. Emma seemed to be very surprised at this thought.

"No… I mean, I doubt it was Lord Sesshoumaru. That would mean he…" she stopped, went pale, but continued.

"Anyway, the Lord of these lands was a cruel man, it was rumored that he drank his subjects' blood to punish their crimes. An eye for an eye, as it goes. If you killed someone, you would be bled to death. If you were to steal from another, your hand would be chopped off. He was said to burn stigmata into men's skin for other crimes, such as rape or treason."

Emma seemed to dread those acts, but Kagome found they were not so unfair. She'd always thought the judicial system nowadays was far too permissive with criminals. Served them right!

"Everybody feared him, especially because he always did these things at night. Nobody had ever seen him go about in plain light." Emma stopped again, this time Kagome was sure the girl would faint, she was so pale.

After a minute, she continued.

"Kikyo was poor, but very kind, and she is rumored to have had special powers. The power to heal, mostly. All minor wounds would vanish under her touch. Deadly injuries she healed within two days, often at the expense of her own health. She would fall ill after healing a lethal wound, and recover in a few days, then do it all over again. Everybody came to see her, all over the county, and she would heal them all. She never took anything from them for this, but the villagers she lived with usually gave her food and took care of her whenever she would fall ill. She didn't really need that, though, her spiritual power was able to heal her body without any outside attention.

One night, she was walking this very forest, when she was attacked by wolves. It is said that the Lord found her and took her at his castle, to be taken care of. Nobody really knows what happened between them, if she fell in love with him, or he fell in love with her, or maybe both, but she stayed there for almost a month, forgetting about her healing power and about the villagers. Many came to seek her, but they were sent back by the Lord's messengers, saying she could no longer heal them.

The people understood it wrong, like she _wouldn't_ heal them anymore, and became her enemies, calling her a witch, and that she'd gone on the dark side because of the Lord. In time, they came to hate her, and all that was left of her memory as a healer fainted.

Then, the time came when they would attempt to take her life, sneaking into the Lord's castle and trying to kill her every way they could. Their anger and ignorance grew to the point where Kikyo became a dark witch in their eyes, the one who had turned her back on them to become that monster's woman. She was tainted, no longer the pure maiden they used to know.

They were convinced that murdering her was the only way to free her soul from the Lord's evil powers. So, one time when the Lord was away from his lands, they captured her and took her to the woods. They burnt her on a bonfire, like the witch they thought she was, and the Lord found her remains there, in the woods clearing, when he returned. He was so pained that he slaughtered the entire village, except for the children. Nobody really knows why he spared them, but he did. Now, Kikyo's soul haunts our castle, calling for her Lord to take her from the darkness, but it seems like he can't hear her."

Kagome was staring at Emma, forcing a thought out of her brain.

'Sesshoumaru… Sesshoumaru was the Lord.'

She shook her head, and said nothing. Emma was eying her as well.

"Do you think…" the maid started, but Kagome refused to hear her words.

"Oh, that's so romantic, Emma, I can't believe it's true though! Thank you for the story." She seemed strangely happy to the maid, who simply shrugged her shoulders and excused herself.

Twenty minutes later, Kagome was still seated at the table, temples in her hands, putting it all together.

'He spared the children. He was only seen by night. He was cruel and heartless, but only with those who did wrong.' The image fit Sesshoumaru like a glove. However, it was a fairly vague one, and she couldn't be sure. She decided to look into it.

'That library of his must have some kind of documents saying who owned these lands throughout time.' She jumped from her seat, and went straight to the library. She almost bumped into Ethan on the way.

"Looking for something, Miss Higurashi?"

She gave him an annoyed look. She really didn't have time for him, she _had _to know this!

"No, I'm just going to the library." She wanted to continue her rapid walk, but Ethan's voice stopped her.

"You know where it is, then?" She swallowed. She shouldn't have known. Officially, she'd never been there. Officially.

"I'm sure I can find it, thank you." She practically ran from him, leaving the man with his mouth open.

:---:

She stood before the large shelves, staring up. This room was as big as a house by itself. It was incredibly high, like three stories up, and packed with books. The stairway went around the room, opening in narrow passage-ways that allowed you to walk along beside the shelves. Also, every here and there the narrow paths held ladders on which you could climb if a certain book was out of reach. The library was organized in sections, beginning with the ancient books, several hundreds of years old, and ending with modern literature. All shapes and sizes.

"Whoa…" Kagome said, staring up. She looked for something similar to History or Proprietorship, and decided to climb up the staircase. At the second level, after an hour of frantic search, she seemed to find what she was looking for, but the section was too far up. She took a glimpse along the narrow hallway, then one down. She wasn't afraid of heights, but that suspended path was way too narrow for her comfort!

She proceeded to dragging the ladder to where she needed it, and climbed up to the books. There were several collections of maps, historical facts and tales from the beginnings of the English Inquisition. She figured Kikyo had been so rapidly categorized as a witch because of the Inquisition. It was _en vogue_ at that time, so to speak. They were practically burning women that had birthmarks, for fear they were witches. Kagome's feminist side felt repugnance at that thought.

"Ignorants!" she couldn't help mumbling, while reaching for the large book. It was very old, and she would have to be careful with it. But she couldn't reach it. So she left the ladder, and climbed directly on the edge of the shelf. She was certain it could hold her weight; it was iron carved and massive wood. She leaned against the books, to reach the one she wanted, and finally grabbed it, pulling it out halfway, when all went black.

It happened so fast, that she didn't know what hit her. She looked down, and the floor was just beneath her. She was still on the edge of the shelf, she was sure. Looking up, she could see the same books she saw a second ago. Then… what had happened? The room went suddenly smaller and darker.

The movement had been almost imperceptible. She'd been spun around. The shelved had moved with her, and she was now on the other side of the library wall, somewhere in a hidden chamber. She slowly climbed down, leaving the book where it was, halfway out.

She took a second to adjust to the dim light. She could see now that in the middle of the small room was a high pedestal with a thick book opened on top. A single large chair was placed in front of it, and the walls held burning candles.

Again, Kagome thought those were incredibly slow burning candles.

She slowly walked to the book, mindful for the floor not to open and swallow her whole. Her heart was pounding inside her chest, and her eyes were wide open. She reached out to the pedestal, and touched it. It was carved stone, with some strange patterns all over it. She looked at the open book, and saw an ancient handwriting, with all these peculiar phrasings.

**_The First Tradition: The Masquerade _**

_Thou shalt not reveal thy thy nature to those not of the Blood. Doing so shall renounce thy claims of Blood. _

**_The Second Tradition: The Domain _**

_Thy domain is thy concern. All others owe thee respect while in it. None may challenge thy word in thy domain. _

**_The Third Tradition: Progeny _**

_Thou shalt sire another only with permission of thine elder. If thou createst another without thine elder's leave, both thou and thy progeny shalt be slain. _

**_The Fourth Tradition: Accounting _**

_Those thou create are thine own childer. Until thy progeny shall be released, thou shalt command them in all things. Their sins are thine to endure. _

**_The Fifth Tradition: Hospitality _**

_Honor one another's domain. When thou comest to a foreign city, thou shalt present thyself to the one who ruleth there. Without the word of acceptance, thou art nothing_

**_The Sixth Tradition: Destruction _**

_Thou art forbidden to destroy another of thy kind. The right of destruction belongeth only to thine elder. Only the eldest among thee shall call the blood hunt. _

Kagome read the words with absolute bewilderment; she had no idea what she was reading. Between the weird wording and the assumption that the words referred to a real situation, she couldn't make out their logic. She understood the words, but their meaning was lost to her.

They looked like a creepy version of _The Ten Commandments_. But all those references to blood, and being slain… And the weird terms, like childer and blood hunt… Kagome read the lines a few times, trying to make some sense out of them. No use, the only thing that grew with repeating reading those lines was her fear. Fear that they might refer to a real life situation.

'What _kind_ does it refer to?' she asked herself while fingering the page.

_"Thou art forbidden to destroy another of thy kind."_

'Human kind, or…"

_"Thou shalt not reveal thy thy nature to those not of the Blood. Doing so shall renounce thy claims of Blood."_

"Claim of blood…" Kagome mumbled. Her heart went crazy inside her chest, and her eyes widened in realization. The coming out at night only, the peculiar shade of white on his face, those immobile eyes, and the imposing figure, her assumption he could drink blood… Sesshoumaru-sama was a… _vampire_!

She put a hand over her mouth, as if speaking it would make it true. She couldn't breathe right. She felt suffocated, as if someone had punched her in the throat. A muffled pain rose inside her and she couldn't tell where it was coming from. The room went smaller and smaller, as she tried to focus on standing up.

"So the werewolves were real…" she whispered, and one of her hands went to her stomach. She felt sick. She turned the covers of the book and forced her eyes to read: _The Book of Nod._ She'd never heard of anything named like this.

The ill feeling crawled deeper inside her, and Kagome's eyes rolled back.

Her legs refused to sustain her weight, and she went crashing to the floor, banging her head on the way down.

:---:

She was choking. She turned to one side and leaned over the edge of her seat to cough. A rumble went through her chest, as she let out the air. Her head hurt and she felt perplexed, like she'd been in a coma for a long time. She flashed her eyes open and slowly took in the pattern on the chair's cushion. She swallowed, and realized she had a taste of blood in her mouth.

She grimaced, disgusted at the unpleasant taste. Her bottom lip stung her and she figured she must have bit her lip when she fell.

'_When I fell…'_

Kagome's hands clenched on the edge of the chair, and her head sprung up. She was still in that room, and Sesshoumaru was eyeing her silently. She felt something cold at the back of her neck. Staring at him, she put a hand on the cold place, and felt something wet. She removed it and looked at her blood stained fingers. It wasn't much of it, but the cut was severe enough for her to feel dizzy. Her eyesight went blurry every now and then.

"Sesshoumaru-sama…" she whispered, for fear he would harm her, more than anything else.

He was just in front of her, staring down at her with that unreadable expression. Kagome suddenly felt afraid, when he stepped towards her, and reached for her face. She closed her eyes and backed a little, but he merely brushed some lose bangs off her forehead.

Kagome let out a breath and opened her eyes. He leaned his head and shook it a few times.

"You just _cannot_ sit still, can't you?" He asked. Strangely enough, his voice was calm and composed, he didn't seem angry. He didn't even seem disturbed.

'Maybe he doesn't know what I've realized…' Kagome assumed, looking into those cold eyes. He straightened his posture, and gave a small sigh.

"Are you alright? Does anything hurt?" Kagome shook her head rapidly, with a look of apprehension on her tanned face. Sesshoumaru looked into those bright violet eyes and felt his calm crumbling down around him. She _knew_, she wasn't stupid after all, but on the contrary. Her remarkable intelligence was one of the things he'd chosen her for.

She knew and now he had to make it so that she wouldn't run away, and scream it out to the world. Literally, because she worked at that magazine…

"You have been unconscious for quite some time, I was beginning to worry." His deep voice was the same; his entire person was as calm as ever, as beautiful and fascinating. There was nothing different about him, Kagome thought, as she tried to make room in her mind for this new realization.

'This cannot possibly be true; it's all some sort of sick game… Vampires do _not _exist! He's just… weird and pure blooded youkai. That's it! The claim of blood referred to youkai! But then, why not reveal their nature? Everyone knows he's youkai, that's never been a secret with them, on the contrary. They take pride in it, especially the pure-blooded ones…'

Her trail of thoughts was rapidly unfolding inside her head and Kagome soon felt dizzy. She put a hand over her forehead, and frowned.

"This is all too…" she whispered, and looked up at him. He was a statue. No muscle was moving on his perfect face. He was dressed in a black coat that almost brushed the floor, an indigo shirt and black pants. She forgot _what_ he was, for a second, and looked at _who_ he was.

Sesshoumaru was still, expecting her to sort out her thoughts. He knew she must be confused, especially finding it out like this. It was a mistake from his part to allow it to happen. He should have been more careful, should have seen her determination, and prevented this. But who knew she was so _damn_ nosy?

Kagome eyed the Lord much like she would have a being from haven or hell, it made no difference. He was simply captivating; she couldn't rip her gape off him. He felt her intense violet gaze pierce his body, and scorch the inside him like fire. He was a little unsettled with his own reaction. It had been involuntarily draught out of his body, and his heart skipped a beat when he caught her stare.

Kagome's face was lit by the candles, and shadows flew around her entire body, as she stood tensed in that chair. Her hands were now clutched onto the edges of her seat, and her head a little bowed. She looked like wild cat, Sesshoumaru though, with that black hair spreading over her shoulders and face, and eyeing him so intensely.

He blinked and she woke from her trance. This was in need of some clearance, her reason called for it. She needed to know everything there was to know, so that she could act accordingly with all the information at hand.

'Shake it off, Higurashi! If he wanted to kill you, he would have done it until now.' She opened her mouth and spoke, willingly ignoring the fact that there were fates worst that death.

"You're a vampire." Surely enough, it was a statement. Sesshoumaru didn't even flinch at her words.

"I am." He said, and her blood froze in her veins. It was one thing that she was sure of it, as a conclusion draught from what she stumbled across, and an entirely different thing that he would admit to it just like that.

Kagome swallowed her terror. This could not be possible… _shouldn't_ be possible! She thought, and looked at his perfect face.

"And a youkai too." She continued, but he tilted his head to one side.

"Almost." Was what he said, and she frowned. So, the vampire condition took first place and his youkai blood second. But, how?

"How come?" she was still tensed, and very much surprised by her own calm. She figured she was in shock, otherwise she would have screamed her head off. But then again, who would hear her?

"It is a long story, Kagome." She shivered at the mention of her name. The way he said it… _Kagome_… was like half a whisper, half a demand, so insinuating… She closed her eyes for a second, and tried to ignore his charm. This… _creature_ was certainly unique, because the world, as wide as it could be, simply could not contain two alike!

"I think I won't be going anywhere, Sesshoumaru-sama. Is that right?" she said, aware of the fact that she was now captive in his castle, or at least on his estate, indefinitely. She had to find out more of this, and then she could shape an escape plan from this hell. Living with a vampire wasn't exactly her idea of a comfortable residence.

He smiled ever so faintly, and nodded once, very slow. He looked at her from under his eyebrows, and Kagome got a shiver. This time, it wasn't the one on the back of her neck, It was a fiery one, from her stomach, that seemed to light her up entirely. For a brief moment, she thought he heard him chuckle.

She was so dizzy, that she couldn't tell, though. He extended an arm.

"Come with me, Kagome." He lightly turned his shoulders to one side, and waited for her to take his hand. Kagome looked at those pale fingers, and noticed the two magenta stripes on his wrist, identical with the ones on his cheekbones. She was sure those were part on his youkai inheritance.

However, something kept her from touching him. There was something burning inside her that called for his touch, but yet something that desperately kept her from such an intimate contact. She stared at him, while standing up. She wasn't gonna take his damn help! She could walk by herself!

"I'm coming." She said, slowly, but didn't take his hand. Sesshoumaru nodded.

"I see." He dropped his arm elegantly, and walked to the bookshelf. He looked back at her and pushed the wall. It cracked open and he invited her to pass through first, which she did, mindful not to touch him too much. Some small voice inside her heart cursed her for avoiding him. But her reason told her she should not touch this creature, that she should run away as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

She walked out in the light of the chandelier, and heard the door shutting closed behind her. She knew he was there, behind her, too. She could feel his gold eyes stuck on her back, burning marks into her skin. She couldn't stand it, she felt too vulnerable in his presence.

Her shock grew when she realized that her vulnerability wasn't one of an inferior creature facing a predator. She felt too… _feminine_ with him. She felt too much like a woman, too much like the protected one, like the one who needs comforting and caring for. She hated it.

Kagome began walking to the huge staircase that led down, and heard his soft footsteps following her. Sesshoumaru said nothing, until she reached downstairs, and turned to look at him.

'Man, he's tall!' she thought, as she turned and had to lift her chin considerably just to look into his eyes. He was at least a head taller that her, and that long black coat only added to his imposing appearance. His white hair fell over his back and shoulders like an embrace.

"I trust you're not going to hurt me, or you would have already done that by now." She said, and her voice was a little wavering. She immediately resented her human blood.

He narrowed his eyes a bit.

"I will not harm you, Kagome. That is not why you are here."

'_Not why I'm here_?' she seemed a little taken aback by his words.

"Why am I here then, Sesshoumaru-sama? I thought I knew, but it looks like I don't have the slightest clue." She raised her eyebrows, and Sesshoumaru felt a little impressed by her composure.

'I must say, she's taking this far better then I would have thought, considering the circumstances.'

"All in due time." He said, and seemed to think something over for a second. He had the same concentrated look upon his face as the one he had before his meeting with Devonshire. Kagome instantly realized Devonshire was a vampire too.

'Great! This opens too many possibilities…' she thought, a little exasperated.

"For the time being, we must attend to your wound, and then you should eat something." Kagome had completely forgotten about the blood on the back of her head. She involuntarily put a hand on the sore spot, and swallowed, looking at the floor for a second. She really _was_ feeling dizzy, but she was almost sure it came from the news, and not the lack of food. Well, maybe having her head banged against the floor had something to do with it too, but that was really the least of her concerns at the time.

:---:

Kagome was seated on a large chair; in the same room he had received her in during her first evening here. The large window was in front of her, and the burning fireplace at her left. The light wasn't much better than it had been then. She was alone, staring outside, where rain had begun to trail down the window.

The wind blew dead leaves everywhere, and Kagome couldn't think of anything at all. Her mind was as blank as a sheet of unwritten paper. She needed some time to process the information, to adjust to this new world she'd been thrown into, all of a sudden. One vampire meant an entire society of them, she was certain.

_Where had Sesshoumaru gone to?_

The door fell closed, and her eyes shot up at him. He was carrying a small medicinal case, and a recipient with what appeared to be warm water.

"I will not have my personnel asking improper questions about your injury, Kagome. I have done this many times before, on more severe wounds."

She blinked a few times, realizing he wanted to clean her wound. She really didn't want him to touch her, but she had no choice. He would probably tie her down and see to her wound, if she wouldn't comply.

So she moved to another chair, one without a back, and pulled her hair over one shoulder, bending her head down. The movement hurt, and she realized that the cut must be pretty deep, although not deep enough for it to demand stitches. A shiver passed through her when she thought that he could probably even stitch wounds too.

Her wordless approval somewhat surprised Sesshoumaru, but he went around her and kneeled to take a look at her wound.

"It is not severe. It will merely need cleansing and a small bandage. Nothing to worry about and it would probably be out of sight if you wear your hair down." His words brushed the back of her neck, and Kagome could feel his cold breath over her skin. She wondered id his touch would be as cold. His fingers reached her skin and she immediately sprung forward, away from his touch. He was as cold as a corpse. Her entire body shivered at their contact, but she tried to put it in the account of the sudden coldness.

"I apologize." He said in that low voice of his, making Kagome even more nervous than she already was. It was really beginning to bug her, this stupid feeling she had around him.

After a minute, he resumed his work, this time his skin as warm as any other human's.

"Wow…" she whispered, and she felt his eyes widen at her word. He cleaned the dry blood off her wound, biting on his teeth. This required more self control than he would have thought. Her slender neck, and that cut was just a tad too tempting. He growled between his teeth, and forced his instincts out of his body.

"How did you do that?" her dim voice surprised him. It was soft, with no trail of fear about it. She was most certainly in shock.

'When she will recover, she'll be so frightened she will try to escape anyway she could' he thought. Although that was the rational way to put it, he hoped she wouldn't do it. He dreaded being forced to chain her in here. He wanted her to_ understand_ him, and his need for her.

"One must be able to pass for a warm blooded creature, around them. We are able to force blood through our veins at will. Of course, this comes with a price."

Kagome hated the plural.

"Will you just talk about yourself? I don't think I can take the _we_." She mumbled, and he found that he understood her feelings. It must have been overwhelming.

"As you wish." She sighed and tried to focus, shutting up her mind, which was yelling to get the hell away from that creature while she still could. She had to find out more about him. There was more to him than just _what_ he was; it showed in his actions, on his face and mostly in his eyes. Those sun stained eyes, who couldn't look at the blue sky anymore. A wave of compassion rose inside her, but she quickly cast it aside.

'Maybe he _wanted_ to become a vampire, and then my compassion would be worthless to him.'

She focused on his gentle movements, his light touch on her skin. His fingers shallowly brushed against the back of her neck, and she closed her eyes. This man could not be led by his nature, no matter how vicious that nature might be. He was too prevailing; he emitted such energy, and caused her such intense feelings, that no nature could possibly lead him. His nature only imprisoned him. It was his cage, not his drive. She succumbed to the shudder his light touch sent through her body, and denied what he was, if only for a moment.

:---:

**A small glossary: **

**Kindred **– refers to the vampire kind in general

**Sire **– the vampire that made another vampire, the daddy vampire as it were

**Childe** – the one who has been made a vampire (by his/her Sire), plural **childer**

**Kine** – humans, mortals

**Prince** – an elderly vampire who acts like some sort of ruler for the others. Mind you, though, the Prince does not enforce rules like our Police would, but works mostly to keeping peace among Kindred with the power of persuasion.

**Blood hunt** – Vampires setting out to slay another vampire. This only takes place from the Prince's order, and is caused by a vampire breaking one of The Six Traditions, which are like the laws of Kindred. Surely enough, there are 13 clans of vampires and each have their own interpretation of the Traditions, but they are generally the same to all Kindred.

**The Book of Nod** – is actually a very rare script of the Kindred's ways, clans and sects. It very rare and ancient, and I've kinda abused it here, I don't know it a vampire would keep it hidden like that. I'm not even sure if he's supposed to have it. Oh well…

That's all I can think of right now. If you wanna know more just ask.

:---:


	7. Help

Unliving

Chapter 7 - Help

"How long have you been… like this?" her wavery voice reached his ears like a plea. He looked away from the fire and set his gaze on her face.

"Very long… Around 700 years." Kagome frowned.

"That _is_ long." She concluded, avoiding his eyes. This was all too far from reality for her to chew on it without choking… repeatedly.

His calm was still too annoying for her to handle. He was simply seated there, with his hands on the edges of his large armchair, looking perfect.

She didn't know where to start, so she asked the first thing that came to her mind:

"What is The Book of Nod?"

He seemed a little surprised by her question.

"A tale… of the Kindred. Vampires." He enlightened her, seeing as she had frowned at the unusual word.

"Oh." Kagome said, as if she would have understood. But she hadn't at all. She tilted her head, still looking away from him.

"And… what are the Traditions?" she could barely believe how freely he spoke of these things, and how freely she could ask about them. It wasn't natural. She should be stressing out by now, and go crazy, not sit in front of him, asking him polite questions about his vampire nature!

"Rules. Hn… More like guidelines than actual rules, really. They speak of the kindred's proper conduct, although they are far to general to be used as rules _per se_."

"When I first read them, I thought they were a spooky version of The Ten Commandments." Her smile showed how ridiculous she believed her assumption to be. Sesshoumaru was still, wondering how long will it take for her to figure out why he'd brought her here.

'It should happen any minute now, and we shall see how well you take the realization, Miss Higurashi.' He thought, and had a flinch of heart. She might as well freak out and try to run away. Then, he would be forced to stop her, and it wouldn't be pleasant, for either of them. But mostly for her.

"Uhm… I really don't know how to even… begin understanding this." She mumbled.

"You may start by looking me in the eye, Kagome." His steady voice practically forced her to stare at him. And so she did, finding that the gold light in his inhuman eyes was as bright as always. His face was as beautiful and disturbing as it had been since the moment she first laid eyes on him.

He had taken off the long coat, and was now wearing only the indigo shirt. His broad shoulders were certainly adding to his imposing appearance, and Kagome was intimidated by the sight of him. The fire toyed with the outline of his features, shadowing corners of his face, and increasing the ghostly impression Kagome now had over him. As if that was further necessary!

He tilted his head into that curious look he sometimes had around her. She could see she was interesting to him, but could not for the life of her figure out_ why_.

"Do I look any different than yesterday, Kagome?" he said, and she received his deep voice with a visible shudder. Her composure was slowly but steadily melting away, as a small indefinable thought made its way into her mind. It felt like she _should_ be afraid, but yet she was not.

"No." she answered, and stared at his chest. His intrusive look unsettled her and the constant thought that he could simply grab her by the throat and sink his teeth into her neck was certainly not helping her keep calm. She fussed in her seat.

'What the hell am I doing just sitting here? He's a vampire! _Vampire_, Higurashi! What am I doing?...' her trail of thoughts was cut abruptly when he demanded:

"Look at me." She flinched and looked into his eyes, not being able to resist his order. She wondered why that was.

"I will not hurt you, Kagome."

'Or at least not in the way you might think.' He added to himself.

"You've said… you can force blood through your veins at will. But with a price. What price?" she managed to say. Her sentences were stopping abruptly, as if she had trouble with keeping her thoughts flowing.

"At the expense of the blood. We… _I_ must feed in order to…continue my existence. That is, I must feed on blood." She stiffened at his simple statement, and how easily he worded it out. She wanted to rip her eyes off his, but she couldn't. He was pinning her to the chair, with only his look. She couldn't move much and this was begging to worry her.

"The vitae… blood, is consumed when I use it for such tasks. It takes some effort, as it were, and I need to feed more often if I do this."

'_Feed_…' the word flooded her mind and drove a cold shiver of raw fear through her body.

"Then… your appearance is… manufactured." For lack of a better word, she'd used that one. He nodded once, not allowing his eyes to stray from hers.

"You may stop doing it, if that makes you more comfortable. I think it's no longer necessary, since..." she didn't finish, but Sesshoumaru was impressed with her courage.

"Very well." He let out a breath, and just before her eyes, his face became livid, as pale as chalk. His lips lost almost all color and his eyes gained a glassy shade, but were still burning with the intensity of his gaze. The only stains of color on his face were those eyes and the magenta stripes on his cheeks. He looked frightening, like a being from another world. She swallowed her fear.

Her thoughts shattered into a messy cloud, as she struggled to put some logic into what she had just found out. His life, well… existence was an impressing demonstration of force and will power. She still found him remarkable, she still looked at him and saw the great taiyoukai that he was. Strangely enough, she saw his original nature, rather than this parasitic one that had intruded upon his life.

"Did you choose to become a vampire?" she found herself asking, out of pure curiosity. Sesshoumaru knew it was coming, and dreaded the question.

"I did not." She blinked in confusion and felt sick from her stomach. How could _anyone_ force this magnificent creature into such a thing? What kind of treachery and deceit would it take for him to be trapped inside this darkness, for such a long time? Kagome was disgusted by the thought.

'How could they do this to him?'

The look in her violet eyes wasn't the one Sesshoumaru would have expected. He expected pity, but she was revolted, she was showing anger and determination. Could she be the one he'd expected, without even knowing it? Could she indeed save him from his fate? His soul trembled with the touch of her violet gaze, which pierced through his senses and nested deep within him.

"Who… did this to you?" Another odd question.

'Would she ask of her purpose here, anytime soon?' he wondered.

"It bares little significance. It is a name that would tell you nothing." She took a mindful look at him, finding that she was now able to move freely and even to stray her gaze off his face. The thing was, now she didn't w2ant to do that anymore.

"You've isolated yourself from them. You hate them and what they've done to you, isn't it?" Sesshoumaru smiled a shadowy smile while the woman before him unveiled her intelligence. He had hoped her to understand him, and she was living up to his expectations.

"Indeed. I also dread the fact that I could be hoaxed in such a manner, by beings so much beneath my level. However, now I am one of them, and I have become to think as they do, act as they do, and exist as they do. I had no other option, and I refused to demise."

Kagome still didn't care to pity him. She didn't think pity was what he wanted, nor what he needed. Although she was still in the dark as for what it was that he _did_ need, she was fairly certain that it was not her pity.

And so she'd been lead to think at the fist Tradition.

"_Thou shalt not reveal thy thy nature to those not of the Blood. Doing so shall renounce thy claims of Blood."_

He'd broken the first rule, and so blatantly, that there was no interpretation which would take the blame from his actions.

'Why would he break the first…' her thoughts cleared like the morning sky, after a night with rain. Everything seemed to rush in front of her eyes and she felt like she couldn't breathe properly. Time seemed to stop for a few moments, and she froze into his golden eyes, petrified with something far beyond terror. The thing was, she wasn't even fighting the imminence of what she was to experience. She simply had no chance of escaping it.

"So you've finally understood." His voice was still strong and he was still sure of himself. She couldn't think straight, she felt her body betray her, and beginning to shiver. Blood ceased its rush through her veins, and she could feel how her skin lost color, as she went pale. She clenched her teeth, and desperately tried not to whimper. Sesshoumaru wasn't moving.

"Why?" was all she could say, but her voice seemed to come from another throat, from another body.

He didn't answer, and she continued to fight against her body, sinking her nails into the chair's arms. She was rigid, and he knew she would lose it if he wouldn't say something to calm her down.

Kagome could not understand. If he hated it so much, how could he do it to her? How could he condemn her to the same fate, knowing that he had been living a nightmare for the last 700 years? She couldn't fit this thought into the image she'd had of him. She simply could not understand. Why would he do this? And why her?

She went limp, and let go of the chair. She unclenched her teeth and dropped her head to her chest, breathing rapidly. She frowned and closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see his face anymore. The disappointment inside her, the pain, were both too much to handle. She shook her head, denying what she knew was the truth, denying her helplessness facing the immediate twist in her existence.

She cringed when she felt his hand raising her chin. She wanted to get away from him, wanted to run like hell and never look back, wanted to wake up and se that she was safe, that the world was not as twisted as she saw it now. She couldn't move though, and her arms stood limply on her knees. Her legs refused to move and carry her away from his cold, dead touch. Her eyes were linked to his, without any other choice, and she breathed heavily.

Her mind refused to show her a way out of this situation, and her entire body rejected the cold fingers running across her skin, her neck and shoulders. However, she could not move. The sudden paralysis didn't scare her as much as the look in his eyes did. She wanted to scream, to push him away, to make him stop touching her, anyway she could. But there was no way.

Sesshoumaru looked into her burning eyes, the only part of her body that could say something. She was as limp as a paralyzed person, but all she felt poured out from those wide open eyes. Light was flickering inside them like fire, and it hurt him.

"Kagome." He whispered, and she only widened her eyes even more, for a second, and then resumed her shocked posture.

"I will not hurt you, Kagome." His plans had changed indeed, but he didn't know if these new plans would work, and now he had no choice but to keep her there until she could understand him. However, she seemed entirely out of it for the moment, without any chance of waking from her condition.

He would have to leave her alone soon, because he had to feed tonight, and there was a chance that she would try to run away. That could prove disastrous to both of them. He had to make her snap out of it, and regain her reason. She _had_ to sit still while he was gone.

"Kagome, _I will not hurt you_." He repeated, but his words didn't seem to reach her. Sesshoumaru could see how her beautiful eyes lost focus and started to blur and flutter closed every now and then. He had to give her an even more powerful shock in order to wake her, or else she would lose conscience. Without any further thought, he grabbed her jaw with one hand, the other one pulling her head closed by the back of her neck.

She fell forward to him not resisting his pull, and Sesshoumaru pressed his mouth over hers, parting her lips with his tongue, trying to force entrance into her. Kagome shivered intensely at the unexpected contact and felt like she had no air. The coldness of his lips came like a slap over the face and she unwillingly opened her mouth to breathe, but found only his mouth.

Sesshoumaru didn't expect her to react so suddenly, and just as her body stiffened under his kiss he felt like hot water flowed through his veins, for a moment. He actually slipped his tongue inside her mouth when she'd opened it, although it hadn't been his intention. Her inside was warm and he felt the softness of her skin like a caress. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, submitting to the shudder that shook his body when she moved her lips over his.

A startled cry came out of Kagome's throat, finding herself pinned down by the vampire above her, and her hands sprung forward to push him away. He was cold, and she was scared by his touch. Her hands found Sesshoumaru's chest and Kagome pushed with all her strength, letting out a small whimper as the distance between them grew.

She opened her mouth to take in air, and leaned forward holding a hand over her mouth. She stood up rapidly and went behind the large chair, looking at the floor. Then her eyes darted to his face, in some other kind of shock.

"I apologize. It was necessary to wake you." Was all he said to a bewildered Kagome, staring at him with her hand over her mouth.

"You could have slapped me over the face." She said, and her voice was strangely steady.

He blinked and realized he'd never thought about that.

"Indeed." Kagome swallowed and tried to stop shivering. She really didn't know why she was shivering in the first place, if it was from the news or the kiss. It hadn't been a real kiss anyway; he only used it to make her snap out of her shock.

'Then, what's with this_ feeling_?' she wondered, as she stared at him. Suddenly, she realized she was dead scared of what this creature could do to her, in more that one way. Nobody had disturbed her like this. She was afraid of him to her bones, she still wanted to run from him, and all reason ceased to work inside her mind as she turned and headed for the door.

Her rapid steps couldn't take very far though, as he seemed to materialize before her, just in front of the door, blocking her way. She tried to go around but he moved to stop her without much effort, having a curious look upon his face.

Kagome desperately wanted to get away, to go home and forget about him and his damned life or whatever it was that he was living… because that was_ not_ life!

She hit him in the chest and tried to push him away, but as she sprung forward to the door, she hit his side stretched arm, as he caught her and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. She was breathing rapidly, and her nails sunk into his arm, trying to force him to release his strong grip.

She opened her mouth to scream, but her voice was abruptly cut by his other hand over her mouth, strappingly pressing down her shout. She began to whimper under his hand, and her eyes frantically ran every corner of the room, searching for escape. Her fingers drew shallow cuts into his dead skin, and her legs kicked as he pulled her head against his chest, forcing her upper body to sit still.

Kagome arched her back in a hopeless try to avoid contact, and she squirmed into his arms for a few minutes.

Sesshoumaru turned his head to one side and pressed his eyes closed, as he was forced to restrain the wild creature within his grip. Her struggle eventually grew weaker, and he felt more at ease. He didn't want to hurt her, but feared that his grip was to leave her face and body with bruises, although he didn't want that.

Kagome ultimately gave in and Sesshoumaru felt hot tears run over his fingers, and trailing down his wrist. She didn't move anymore, but only cried silently, submitting to his brute force. Her arms fell beside her body and her back ceased its tense arching, as she fell against him. She began to shiver and he felt like he'd died for the second time. Her demise was so complete, so hopeless and desperate, that it tore at his soul.

"Don't scream." He said, trying to shape his voice into a softer one, although he knew it was still deep and intrusive.

He took his hand off her mouth, and turned her to face him. Kagome took a deep breath, slowly biting on her swollen lips. He stared at the trails of tears on her face, at the subjugated wilderness inside her eyes. She looked like a tamed feline, with her pale face and violet eyes, with those raven strands across her face, sticking to the wet paths of her tears. She looked beautiful.

"This has no point, Kagome. Can you not see that?" she only nodded, and said nothing. She felt defeated, empty and helpless.

So this was her fate. To be his… _childe_. She dreaded that word. She hated him for what he wanted to do to her.

"How can you do this?" she whispered, looking at him with her eyes half closed.

"I am not. That is what I have been trying to tell you, but you will not hear me." His words were so steady, like a rock to hang on while falling into the abyss.

Kagome shot up her head and stared at him. He raised his eyebrows and waited for her to think rationally. He knew she could do it. She couldn't help it, it was in her nature.

"Oh, my God…" she breathed out and rapidly let out air, a few times, as she sketched a smile. Sesshoumaru was more at ease now, that he saw her regain her usual posture.

"I didn't even hear you. I only saw… I could only think of…" she shook her head closing her eyes, then parting from him. She still didn't want him touching her.

Sesshoumaru let go with a slight regret, which he couldn't really place.

"But then… why did you…" she began mumbling, and he sighed. Surely, he was troubled, and it showed on his face.

"It was my original intention for you to become my childe, but all changed after you've held Tenseiga."

Kagome's head was spinning.

"Tenseiga? What does the sword have to do with anything?" Her eyes were stuck on him like he was her life saver. Although he really could be quite the opposite.

"Tenseiga has the power to bring the dead to life." Kagome's eyes widened and her mind rushed to connect the facts. She could feel the sword's call. She could feel Tenseiga reaching out to her and wanting to help its master.

'Tenseiga is his only hope out of this nightmare. Tenseiga could bring back his youkai blood and force the vampire out of him.'

"Do you think I can do this? How could I have the power to handle such a force?" she asked, very seriously. Sesshoumaru smiled at her, and she felt confused.

"You never cease to amaze me. That's what I believe in, Kagome: your willpower, your intelligence. I do not know for certain that you are _the one_, but you are the only one who felt Tenseiga's call for centuries. I myself have lost that ability when I was… transformed. Since then…" he shrugged his shoulders and she saw how pained he was, even through his mask of poise.

His entire power stripped from him like that, and for what? A life of hiding and feeding on another's blood. A life that could barely be called a life. His beautiful eyes hadn't seen the sunlight for 700 years, and his skin turned cold… for what? She was again enraged with the injustice he'd been subjected to. A wonderful creature imprisoned by a selfish desire to posses. An egotistical pleasure to bring to its knees a force that even time could not surpass.

"I'll try for as long as it takes, Sesshoumaru. I will stay here with you until I do it, or until Tenseiga's call will no longer be heard by my heart."

Her words drove a chill through his body, and they both stood staring at each other for a minute, before the demon nodded deeply, holding his head bowed to the woman before him.

"Thank you." He raised his head and Kagome could see the hope inside his eyes. His search had ended with her. She would do whatever it took to bring him back his life. She would defeat his fate and change it back to what it was supposed to be. She had to.

:---:

"Was it the same with Kikyo?" Kagome asked, looking at him from across the table. She'd just finished eating, although she couldn't swallow much, after the recent events. She figured Kikyo was in more or less her position, that's why she remained at the castle for so long. Maybe she'd even fell in love with him… It wasn't that difficult.

Sesshoumaru tried to stop assuming that anything could escape her attention, and nodded.

"Slightly different, but generally the same." He said. Kagome took a mindful look at him. He seemed deep in thought, as if memories would flash before his amber eyes.

"Did you love her?" Her question sprung out without her thinking that it could be disturbing to him. He'd told her far more disturbing things…

Sesshoumaru frowned.

"_Love_ her?" he said the word as if it were impossible. Clearly, it was something he hadn't even thought about.

Kagome could see how much time had twisted Kikyo's story. She wondered what else was twisted in this tale.

"Then… did she love you?" She had to know, there was no stopping it now. She had to have all the information. Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrows for a second, and looked aside.

"I never knew." He answered, and Kagome instantly felt like a moron. He'd lost her so abruptly… maybe she was about to reveal her love, or… who was to say? So many years had gone by…

"She wanted to help me. I believe she would have eventually succeeded, if…" his voice fell into silence, and Kagome leaned forward. Her arm moved to his hand, but she stopped midway, not sure that he would have wanted her touch. Strange thing was, she didn't want it ether but felt like he needed it. So she put her palm over his and Sesshoumaru almost flinched.

"She did not deserve that fate. And it was my fault that she died." Kagome could read the regret in his deep voice.

He turned his hand and held hers for a moment, looking at her slender fingers as he entangled them with his. Kagome allowed him to do so, and the coldness from his skin spread across her body. This time it wasn't so bad, though. She was beginning to get used to his icy contact.

He swiftly stood up, like he would have just woken from a dream.

"I must leave. Please excuse me."

He gave her a lingering look, and Kagome understood his worry.

"You will find me here when you return." She didn't want to know where he was going, although she feared she already did._ Feed_. The word swam in a dirty mud pit inside her mind, and she hated it. She wondered how much _he_ must hate it.

Sesshoumaru nodded and turned to leave. He stopped before opening the door, but seemed like he couldn't word out his thoughts, and resumed his first intention. He closed the door behind him and frowned.

He put his hands over his face and bowed his head, growling deeply and clenching his teeth. A rumble fought inside his chest and his body stiffened. He could feel his fangs lengthening and his claws too. His eyes flashed red for a second, and he couldn't believe it. The remainder of his youkai blood, although severely diluted, had responded to her touch.

'She really_ is_ the right one.' He thought, and went to collect his coat.

Kagome stood up and went to the window. The rain was still speckling the alley, and she saw Sesshoumaru get on his black horse and disappear behind the large trees guarding the gardens.

Her hand traced the cold glass, and her heart fell heavy inside her chest, as she was staring at the place she'd last seen him. The sadness inside her was still and didn't seem to want to leave her. So she accepted it, and allowed a solitary tear to roll over her cheek for the fate of this creature.

:---:

A.N. I admit to a huge mistake: the timeline is messed up. The 700 years he'd been a vampire would mean he was already one back in Sengoku Jidai. My mistake. Just imagine that he became a vampire after Rin died, not 500 but 700 years ago. I had to make him as old as I could, or else his power couldn't be justified. I hope this will not affect the story too much.


	8. Wounds

Unliving

Chapter 8 - Wounds

Sesshoumaru held his horse by the straps and looked towards the woods. He still had the metallic taste of blood in his mouth, and hadn't retracted his fangs. His eyes were narrowed into a murderous look which would have scared senseless any living being, and maybe even an unliving one…

The horse neighed and threw its head upwards a few times, and Sesshoumaru's arm sprung up with the beast's movements. The vampire inside him sensed something off in the picture. He raised his chin and sniffed the tacky air, following the wind through the leaves.

It was pitch dark and he assumed it must have been around 1 a.m. The crescent moon was hidden by a shallow coat of grey and dark clouds, and he felt random droplets of rain on his skin. The wind blew just slightly, so his still form wasn't even being animated by the long hair usually moving around his body.

He felt some sort of heavy burden pressing against his body, and stinging at his senses. It annoyed him.

The horse kept fumbling under his grip and snarled periodically, trying to step back. Sesshoumaru shot the animal a mindful look, then his attention fell on a barely visible, moving spot in the distance. He lowered his head to focus on whatever was coming closer to him, and clenched his teeth in expectance of danger.

His entire body was screaming it to him. Whatever was coming was not good. His muscles tensed and he tilted his head to the side, in a menacing posture of immobility. A deep growl came from his chest as the spot closed in on him. He decided to stand still and hold his ground.

Devonshire's words lit his thoughts, and a shallow shiver pierced his body from one end to the other. If he were to believe him…

The bright blue eyes stopped their movement ten feet from him. A set of sharp, strong fangs revealed this creature's nature, and the rough appearance completed the image of a ferocious predator. He cracked his fingers, and Sesshoumaru knew exactly what was coming.

A set of long, sharp and slightly curved in talons headed in his direction without any kind of introduction, and Sesshoumaru dodged the sudden attack just barely, releasing the horse from his grip. The poor animal immediately fledged, and left its master to face a tall, massive creature that looked neither human nor feral.

The werewolf showed his sharp teeth while bending his body forward to Sesshoumaru and extended his arms to each side, his fingers tensed and arched inwards. His eyes were bright blue and sparkling in the depth of the night's darkness.

Sesshoumaru was unarmed, seeing as a werewolf would have been the only one he could fear, and they hadn't challenged any vampire for centuries. What had drove _him_ out?

The werewolf sprung forward and tried to cut at Sesshoumaru's throat with his claws, but only succeeded in scratching his shoulder, as the vampire leaped to the side rapidly. A fast succession of turns and twists of the beast's body forced Sesshoumaru to move as fast as he could, to escape those daggering talons. Between growls and barks, the werewolf cut at the vampire's flesh more than once, and Sesshoumaru felt he was beginning to tire.

He extended his arm and drew a fast and deep cut into the creature's chest. His speed was indeed greater than the werewolf's but he knew that he stood no chance, even so.

The wound he had just inflicted closed before his eyes, leaving merely a trail of blood behind, the only testimony that he had indeed cut the creature.

The werewolf grinned ferociously and leapt with such speed, that Sesshoumaru could only see the blue spark of his eyes, before he landed on top of him, pinning him to the ground. His claws pierced each of Sesshoumaru's shoulders, drawing genuine holes into his body. He flinched, but didn't whimper.

Instead, Sesshoumaru focused on the only weapon he knew to work against one of these creatures, aside from silver. He willed blood through his dead veins, flooding his body with crimson life. His eyes burnt with hatred, and he closed them for only a second, while he searched for the remainder of what he used to be.

His youkai blood, although faintly present within him, was nevertheless still there, and could help him now. He shot his eyes open just as the werewolf opened his mouth and sprung forward to his throat. Sesshoumaru could feel the poison gathering in his claws and lengthened them as much as he could. He raised his arms to meet the creature's face and plunged his talons in his neck. The beast howled as if his eyes were burnt out, and fell backwards, releasing Sesshoumaru's shoulders. The vampire stood up, disgusted with the blood making its way down his face and chest. He knew he wasn't finished.

He jumped up and landed with a knee on the werewolf's throat, pressing on the fresh wound. He could see the surprise in his eyes, realizing that he could not close the wound. Bright green, poisonous fumes rose from both the bleeding laceration and Sesshoumaru's claws. His white skin was drenched in warm blood, and with one huge effort he gathered poison once more.

His strength was rapidly deserting him, and he knew that he had to wound his enemy severely enough for him to abandon the fight.

He felt a sharp pain in his back as the werewolf ripped at his flesh and he was almost certain that his ribs were in pieces, but the excruciating pain only drove anger through his veins. Anger which called upon his youkai blood to save his life. So he grabbed the werewolf by the throat and sunk his claws in as deep as he could reach, releasing the last amount of poison he thought he held within him.

The claws in his back retracted and he could feel the creature under him try to escape. He released his grip and allowed him to return to wherever he'd come from. He stood there, unmoving, for as long as it took the werewolf to disappear into the dark. When he became certain that he was alone again, he crashed to the ground, aware of every injury on his body.

He was a carcass of pain, and nothing else. He was an unbleeding wound, because he'd now stopped the blood flow inside him. He was severely weakened as it was, he didn't need his blood to be shed for nothing!

As he lost his consciousness, Sesshoumaru feared that he could not get home in time for the sun not to scorch his damned flesh into nonexistence. His mind squirmed at the impossibility of keeping his body afloat, and his eyes fluttered shut after no more than a few minutes of struggle.

Kagome's violet eyes flashed before his eyes, as he hung onto the last piece of consciousness inside him. He regretted not having known her better.

:---:

Kagome was still in the same room he's left her in, walking up and down it in a nervous attempt to calm her nerves.

She took another look at the clock on the wall.

It read 3:46 am.

She bit on her teeth and clenched her fists, continuing her fast walk across the chamber.

"What could take this long?" she couldn't help ask out loud.

'Is it really that difficult to just… Just…' she couldn't bring herself to even think it. The image it provided filled her with disgust and fear. She never wanted to see Sesshoumaru do _it._ She shook her head and looked out the window. A large, black horse stood at the main entrance, snarling and shaking its massive had every now and then.

Kagome frowned.

'It's his horse…' she remembered, and without further though, stormed out the door, and to the wide alley where the horse stood. She exited the castle with a shallow noise of the massive doors opening, and stopped just before the black beast. She felt the petty rain on her hair and face, but could only stare at the horse. She went to grab it by the straps, and much to her surprise, the animal stood still at her movement.

Something inside her shifted at the touch on the horse's warm body, and she hurried to climb on its back, without thinking that her riding skills weren't the most trained ones.

The horse appeared to wait for the woman to get used to the new posture, and then took a sharp turn to the left, forcing Kagome to tighten her grip on the leather straps in her hands. In a second she was off, riding this almost wild animal, and she had no idea where she was going.

Her legs caught the hard muscles underneath the creature's skin, and she felt the warmth from the effort spreading inside her. Its movements were rhythmical and deliberate, perfectly controlled so that she could lean securely against its back. She entangled her fingers in the thick strands of hair and leaned forward, bending down her back and adjusting her own body motion to fit the body under her.

Her chase came to a sudden stop a few minutes later, in front of a still form collapsed on the rich grass on the hill. Kagome dismounted and rushed to him, holding her breath. She knew he wasn't dead, that is, she hoped that he wouldn't be, because he couldn't really die… right?

She knelt beside his, and cleared the white blood stained hair off his face. He was leaning on one side, and she pushed his shoulder back with all her strength. His limp body was heavier than one would have thought, seeing him move so gracefully. Sesshoumaru fell on his back and the image of his wounds drove a cold shudder through Kagome. She couldn't keep her voice from rising, then falling into a helpless and stunned whimper at the sight of his broken form.

His coat was torn, and so was what was left of his shirt. His face was covered in speckles of dried blood, which trailed his neck and parts of his torso. Upon a closer inspection, Kagome found that she could practically fit her fingers into the holes at his shoulders. His chest was almost cut open by a long gash which carried down to his left hip. Kagome wondered how in the world he could survive this.

She looked over his body, in search of other wounds, frantically asking herself who could have possibly brought him in such a condition.

She instinctively leaned forward to his mouth, in hope that she could catch a shallow breath, but immediately pulled back, shaking her head helplessly in realization that he didn't breathe even while awake. _Vampire!_

"Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!" she shouted, but no response came from the dead body beside her. She was afraid to shake him because he seemed so badly injured that she feared he would fall apart if she did that.

Her heart went crazy with fear, but strangely enough she could feel her fingers grow cold and her face lose color. Her eyes were wide open and taking in the sight of his blood stained face.

"Sesshoumaru…" she whispered, and looked up at the sky, begging for help. She really didn't know if she should be doing that, but she had no other choice.

Unable to tell if he was alive or not, Kagome said his name over and over again, whispering it, shouting and screaming it out, pleating him to wake, _ordering_ him to wake. Anything, just to know he was still alive. Anything, and she kept repeating it until her eyes watered his skin, until her trembling voice was cut by the sore sting in her throat, and her plea turned into quiet sobs of desperation.

She bent her head and rested her forehead against his. She felt him cold and stiff, and her heart caught in her chest. Her fingers ran over his perfect, frozen features, as she breathed heavily over his pale mouth. Her body fell against the ground and she laid there beside him, tearless and hollow, praying for his gold eyes to burn her again.

She didn't know how long she'd been resting there, inert, when the terrible truth hit her right in the chest.

"_Sunrise_!" she darted her head up and stared at the sky. It was still cloudy and dark, but sunrise would come, and then all hope would be lost. She looked desperately around and saw the black horse still beside them, waiting.

She stood on her knees, searching Sesshoumaru's face once again. He seemed the same as she'd found him. No sign of life or movement, and Kagome gathered her courage to see him through this. She was the only one there. She had no idea if the personnel from Muncaster had any idea of his vampire nature, and so she couldn't ask for help from them. She had to figure out some way to take him back by herself. And fast.

She swallowed and ran her fingers over his wounds. Frowning, and tensing her every muscle, she grabbed his broad shoulders and tried to lift his torso. Her efforts were in vain, though, as the former youkai was impossible to move. She barely succeeded in lifting his shoulders from the ground an inch.

She tried again, in hope that she would get used to the weight, and finally lift his shoulders. She had no idea what to do_ after_ that, though; because there was no way in hell she could put him on that horse. He was _too damned heavy_!

So she whimpered a few times, pulling by his punctured shoulders, then fell against his chest with a whine of failure, and the fear of his definitive death.

"No, God dammit! Wake up! _Wake up!_" Kagome screamed in his face a second later, tightening her fists, and narrowing her eyes.

"You can't die on me, Sesshoumaru! You just can't, do you _hear _me? Now wake the hell up!" Her cries were filled with anger, against his fate, against her helplessness…

Her eyes fell closed for a moment, before she again looked at the sky. A slender purple ribbon was cutting the horizon, and Kagome's heart stopped, while she was staring at the natural event.

"No…" He hadn't told her anything about his weaknesses, but sunlight was the main NO-NO for vampires, anyone could tell you that much.

A fresh breeze from the approaching dawn caressed her face, and Kagome dreaded the soft touch of the wind.

Her eyes were stuck on the purple strip snaking across the sky, in the distance, and the reality of his death became obvious to her. She looked at her hands. They were trembling and she formed fists to stop the involuntary reaction.

When she looked at his face, two golden bees stung her gaze, and she held her breath while looking into his eyes.

She dared not say anything, but widened her own eyes, barely believing that he'd come through.

He blinked, and she let out a deep, fast breath of liberation, smiling nervously at him, and breathing rapidly.

"God, you've scared me!" she said, frowning at him.

Sesshoumaru couldn't feel much other that pain. His wounds were severe, but he tried to move. Every effort sent spears through his body, but a fast look towards the horizon convinced him that horrible agony was preferable to death.

"I apologize." Was all he said, in a pained dim voice, and Kagome shook her head, barely keeping her tears from falling. She stood up and bent to offer him some help as he struggled to stand.

Sesshoumaru accepted the offer, although it wasn't much, he thought. It was the best she could do though, and he appreciated it. His arm went over her shoulders and the wounds made their presence clear with a sharp pain in his entire arm. While fighting to stand up, he tensed his abdomen and was forced to crouch and go limp for a second, by the ripping pain in his gut. Kagome stuck her feet in the ground and held him as best she could, without making his pain even worse.

Eventually, he stood up and walked to the horse. He smiled faintly while looking at the animal, and nodded once.

"This will be difficult, Saidan…" Sesshoumaru whispered. Kagome smiled. Saidan meant _altar_, translated into English. The horse bowed on its front knees to allow its master easier access. Sesshoumaru took in a deep breath and climbed on the raven horse. Kagome almost cried out her startle when she saw the claw marks on Sesshoumaru's back. She put a hand over her mouth, as the vampire took hold of the leather straps on his horse, and bent forward a little.

"You must take lead, Kagome." She stared at him for a moment, and saw how difficult it was for him to sit there. She nodded and climbed in front of him on Saidan, praying that she could rely on him to get them both back home.

Saidan took off slowly, as Sesshoumaru leaned against Kagome's back, grimacing at every shift of pace. Kagome periodically looked back at the sky and her worry grew with the light.

She could feel his body pressing against her back, and she tensed to uphold his weight. He was one massive youkai, that was for sure! Or, was it vampire? Kagome couldn't see him as_ only_ vampire; she just couldn't get passed his original nature. She knew that there was some sort of youkai left inside him, although she remained a stranger from the amount of it still present in Sesshoumaru.

They eventually reached the gates of Muncaster, and Saidan headed for another entrance, since there were chances for them to come across some maid or other member of the personnel. Dawn was braking through and Kagome though that Sesshoumaru had entered his castle through that particular door many times, if the horse could get them straight there.

To confirm Kagome's suspicions, Saidan took a serpent narrow alley along the North wall, and followed the corners of the huge castle to some deepening in one of the walls. There stood a massive door, which the horse pushed open with its head, before Kagome could dismount. She found herself in a large dark hall, and almost jumped at the sound of the doors closing behind her.

She was cold and trembling with her every muscle. She took a look behind, where Sesshoumaru was still leaning against her.

She hoped he was awake, because she didn't need a sequel to what had happened on the hill.

"We're home." She whispered, and he slowly lifted his head.

Saidan knelt and they both climbed down, Sesshoumaru faintly smiled at his horse. Saidan had saved him… again. The horse shook its head and snarled once, standing up.

"There are stairs there." He said, and Kagome tried to focus so that she would see something in the darkness. She eventually saw the stairs and helped him up. Fortunately, at the end she found thick black candles burning, suspended on the walls, and she grabbed one by the iron carving which held it.

Doors were present on each side of the rough wall, all closed, and Kagome made her way through with great difficulty, trying to sustain Sesshoumaru and attentive to any word he might be attempting to say. He nodded to one door, and she pushed it open with one foot. Sesshoumaru released her shoulders, and Kagome felt significantly lighter. A large, dim lit room was behind the door, and she stared at the various objects there.

What caught her eye was the bed, almost identical to hers, even to the blood colored sheets. The room had no windows, which to her seemed a little peculiar, but when she thought about it for a second, it made perfect sense.

Sesshoumaru slowly advanced to the bed, and almost fell on it, with a silent _thud_. Kagome put the candle on the nearest table, which was actually a desk, and rushed to him.

"Are you…" she was gonna say alright, but it would have just sounded idiotic. Obviously, he was not alright. Half of his body was in pieces, and he was constantly frowning from the pain.

"Do not worry, I will recover. I will only take one or two nights before I will be able to move properly again." Kagome widened her eyes. Could he actually heal that fast?

"How will I know if..."

"I will not die." He cut her sentence, seeing the worry on her face. Kagome nodded.

"We have to get you out of these ripped clothes. Do you need bandages? I mean… I could work something out…"

"There is no need, bandages are found in the bathroom. And yes, they would help, if you could tie them tight." Kagome gave him an odd look.

"But bandages aren't supposed to go too tight, they might suppress the…"

"Blood flow." He moaned, standing on his butt. Kagome closed her eyes.

"Yeah. Sorry." She pushed the coat off his shoulders and just threw it on the floor. She paused and backed for a moment, before disappearing into the bathroom and returning with the kit.

It was a large white case, and Kagome placed it on the bed, beside him.

She took out the large scissors, and gave him a look from under her eyebrows.

"I can't do it otherwise; it would only make the pain worse for you." He nodded slowly, and Kagome proceeded into cutting off his torn shirt.

She pulled it out of his pants and frowned at how deep the laceration on his abdomen ant chest was. The open wound looked eerie, with no blood coming out, and the flesh parted like that. She swallowed, and tried not to pass out.

Sesshoumaru arched his back a little, looking at her while she cut his clothes off. First the remainders on the chest, then each of the sleeves were removed, and he was left with only his pants on in a matter of seconds. Her hands were steady, but she breathed heavily, frowning all the time through.

She grimaced while examining his punctured shoulders. Her medicine knowledge was shallow, and she really hadn't seen wounds this severe before.

Sesshoumaru looked at her from between his eyelashes. He was having trouble staying awake, and he figured that the sun must have risen by now, which would partially explain his sleepy state.

"Just keep the body together, Kagome, the wounds will close soon enough." He whispered, and clenched his teeth immediately afterwards. Kagome took a fast, deep breath, and reached for the bandages as he bent to allow her access to the wounds on his back.

The woman's eyes filled with tears at the sight of those gashes. She could actually see one of his ribs. The flesh was hanging limply aside, and the bone was clearly visible, if only for a portion of an inch. That was enough as it was, she thought.

Trails of claws ran across his back, and she thought that the bandages weren't gonna be enough.

"Can you hold this?" she unfolded one end and carefully placed it just below his shoulders. Sesshoumaru slowly lifted an arm and secured the piece. She bent over him and passed the fabric around his torso, carefully returning to their place every piece of flesh cut open and hanging on each side of the wounds. As she did this, Kagome felt nausea gather in her stomach, and she held back her sickness, swallowing often. Her hands moved warily as she reshaped his body, and Sesshoumaru tried not to flinch much. His eyes were hollow and he could barely keep them open.

He breathed in her scent, and Kagome momentarily stopped as he let out his breath. Seeing as he continued to breathe shallowly, she paused completely and gave him a concerned look.

"Stop wasting your strength." Her words were the result of worry, and he could clearly hear it in her dim voice. With a wave of regret, he took one last deep breath, focusing on her scent, and then stopped. Kagome soon finished her job, and was now in the dark. And somewhat embarrassed.

The contact with his cold skin had been shocking, in more ways that one, and she was surprised at the fact that she was so composed through the entire time. Sesshoumaru laid on his back, not having much better choices, and frowned in pain.

"Arigato gozaimasu." He said, and Kagome's eyes shot at him, surprised at the respectful wording.

She nodded, and focused on his eyes. They were fluttering closed every now and then, and she could see how difficult it was for him to stay awake.

"Close your eyes. Rest." She said, and Sesshoumaru wanted to smile, but had no power left. Kagome lightly touched hid eyelids with the tips of her fingers, and he closed his eyes.

"I won't die." He mumbled, as exhaustion got the better of him, and Kagome smiled sadly at his last thought. He'd been worried about her and the impossibility of her knowing whether he was still alive or not.

After a few minutes in which she eyed him attentively, Kagome felt a powerful shudder across her chest and her hand clutched onto the fabric of her shirt, just below her stomach. She scowled while fighting with her tears. She rapidly stood up and rushed into the bathroom, closing the door and leaning back against it, then gliding down the carved wood surface.

Her breath caught a few times in her chest, and she pressed a hand over her mouth to stop her sniveling. She closed her eyes tightly and bent her head to rest on her knees. Her body was shivering and images of his horrible wounds were still fresh before her eyes.

Kagome wasn't so sure that she could stay in this place, anymore. Too many dangers were lurking, and even though few concerned her, many were targeting him. She didn't think she could take another night like this one, when her every bit of courage and strengths was stretched to its limits, when every piece of emotion she had experienced was directly channeled towards him.

She shifted, banging her head against the door as she looked up at the ceiling. At least this room had a window, and she could see the purple light of daybreak spreading inside the room. She was cold, and dirty, and filled with concern. She was afraid, and settled at the same time. Kagome shook her head and decided to stay a little longer. She hadn't forgotten what she'd promised him.

:---:

About the werewolves, it goes like this. They are creatures of the darkness, just like vampires, which may sometimes live among humans (just one clan of them). They may take the appearance of a human or a wolf, or anywhere in between. Like, a werewolf may look like a bigger human with claws and fangs, and rough features. Uhm, they usually live in the wilderness… and hate vampire's guts. They can heal very **_very_** **_extremely_** fast, although I really don't know if quite as fast as I've said it here. Oh well…

Werewolves are … _allergic_ to silver bullets, or anything else made of silver which could be inserted into their bodies… Yeah, and Sesshoumaru's poison, cuz I had to give the poor guy a chance! Actually, if a vampire comes across a werewolf there are slim to none chances that he gets out alive, unless he's like 2000 years old or so. Yeah, it's that bad. So you see why Sesshoumaru was so worried.


	9. Take me

Unliving

Chapter nine – Take me

He cracked his eyes open and wished he'd been dreaming. However, an undeniable pain in his back and shoulders assured him that he was not. He tried to move his head, and found that the pain was even worse. He felt stiff, and in a bad way! He opened and closed his eyes a few times, just to get used to the dim light in the room. The memory of what had happened immediately spread in the back of his head, and he frowned, while moving his fingers.

The bandages made him feel like a mummy. They were tied tightly and they limited his movements, but it was probably for the best. He moved his upper body, arching his back a little, and whimpered the next second.

'Bad idea.' He thought and resumed resting on his back. There was no point in avoiding pain, because his entire body felt like an open flesh wound. He actually hoped he would be almost healed by now, he assumed it was dark again, which would have meant that at least 12 hours had passed since Kagome had brought him back.

'Kagome…' his eyes searched the room for the one who had probably saved his… _life_. But she wasn't there, and Sesshoumaru again closed his eyes. An empty feeling flooded his insides, as he felt the unquestionable call of the Hunger. He growled deeply, and sat up on the edge of the bed, completely ignoring the pain that came with that movement.

'I cannot even move properly, there is no question of exiting the castle tonight.' His thoughts crowded in front of his mind, and his head spun for a few seconds. All his strength had been drained during the fight, and now he felt as weak as a mortal who hadn't eaten in weeks.

Another growl rumbled inside his chest, but he saw there was no point in making the pain even worse with this show of discontent. Slowly, he moved his head from one side to another and tried to flex his arms. His shoulders hurt like hell, but maybe not as much as they did last night.

The door opened with merely a squeak, and Sesshoumaru looked up from under his eyebrows to a seemingly hurried Kagome. She closed the door behind her, and just stared at him.

"You're up."

"Obviously." Was his answer, a little more unaffected than he'd wished. Kagome nodded, and headed towards him, stopping just before his knees.

"How are you?" He momentarily raised his eyebrows in a tired gesture and Kagome saw he felt horrible. He rapidly passed his tongue over dried lips, and she stuck her gaze on his mouth.

"Could you undo these?" he said, and Kagome snapped her eyes up, blushing a little. Fortunately, the dim light from the black candles hid her display of emotions.

"Uhm… sure." She disappeared into the bathroom, and came back with the same kit as the night before. Taking out the scissors, she cut the bonds, and began unwrapping his bandages, passing her arms around his body, back and forth.

Sesshoumaru observed her focused look and the shadows under her eyes. Her movements were slow but steady. He looked at her face as she carried on with her job and saw she was tired.

"Have you slept?" he asked, and Kagome gave him a fleeting look.

"Yes." She lied, and he frowned.

"You have not slept." He stated, as if he could be entirely certain. The look on her face told him that she hadn't.

"It doesn't matter." Kagome reached his cold skin and carefully undid the wrapping. Curiously enough, the wounds seemed to be closed, although still a little swollen at the edges, and carrying some ugly scars across his body. She was satisfied with the fact that he was in one piece, though, and as she cast the bandages completely aside, his torso looked significantly better than it had the night before.

"It _does_ matter." He said, slowly moving his body to get accustomed to the feeling. The pain was lighter now, with the bandages gone, although still making its presence sturdily noticed. He couldn't move right, and his speed was significantly cut down.

"I haven't been asked anything if you want to know… By your employees, I mean. It seems like they are accustomed, or just don't care." Her words were distant, and Sesshoumaru wondered what she was really thinking.

"They are accustomed." He said, standing up with a grimace. He moved his shoulders, and Kagome could see that the holes were gone. Instead he had a few round scars working their way from his collarbone to the edge of his shoulders.

She went around him, desperately holding back the urge to touch his scars. She noticed that those broad shoulders were still as broad even without any clothes on, and that she was a little too disturbed by the sight of his body. Sesshoumaru gave her a side glance, as she gathered the mass of his hair to one side to examine the scars on his back. Those looked better too. Almost the same as the one on his chest.

"Will you be left with these scars?" she asked, sort of reluctant.

"Most likely. They will partially fade away in time, but I believe not entirely." He had said that as if he didn't care much. Kagome stared at his white skin, her eyes slipping down to his narrow waist and hips. She felt her heart pound once or twice, and she blinked, looking to one side.

But she couldn't oppose the memory of his cold touch, as it invaded her mind and she felt her fingers tingle, begging her to touch him again. She raised her other arm and passed her fingers over his back, avoiding the scars, as she feared they would hurt him. His skin was smooth and icy, and she smiled sadly.

Sesshoumaru felt her warm breath over his back, and tried not to tense at her unexpected touch. His wounds hurt, but the woman's stroke was like a balm. He only turned his head to one side, to catch a glimpse of her, and could see the serious look on her still face.

She wanted to know what had happened to him, who had done this, but was almost afraid to ask. So she just stared at his back, wanting to rest her cheek against him, and feeling utterly confused about her own desire.

She let go of his hair, and it fell heavily over his back, reaching all the way down to his thighs. She moved to pass her fingers through it, but stopped midway and put some distance between them instead, as she thought she couldn't take any more physical contact with him, without losing her composure. He made her feel… unsettled.

Now, that the danger of his death was passed, she felt like he was again at a safe distance from her, as if he had closed himself again, away from her and everyone else, for that matter.

Sesshoumaru bowed his head a little when she'd backed away from him, and felt some regret to her action. Her warm touch soothed him.

The constant prickle inside his gut was what he couldn't stand though. The lack of blood made him feel weak, and he knew that if he could feed, he would recover faster. But he couldn't feed, because he wasn't yet recovered. It was a vicious circle. Kagome eyed him attentively.

"How long before you'll be able to move right?" he knew what she meant.

_How long before you can feed?_ But she was far too horrified and maybe even disgusted by the thought, to word it out like that.

"Another night, I suppose." He wasn't sure, because the little amount of power he had left was insufficient and as time passed, he grew weaker still from the effort to heal. Another vicious circle.

Kagome swallowed and frowned. He sat back down on the bed, and she approached him with a twinge of heart. She felt her pulse accelerate at a surprisingly high rate, and she wasn't entirely convinced that she wouldn't do something incredibly stupid. She was known to act on impulse, and this was the exact circumstance which allowed such unthought-of idiotic deeds.

Sesshoumaru lightly spread his legs to gain some balance while sitting on the edge of his bed without using his arms. She broke his personal space, moving between his legs, and he could barely stop from looking up. If he looked at her face, he was lost, and he very well knew that.

"You can't heal if you don't have any strength left. That fight must have been dreadful."

"It was a werewolf. They are always dreadful." She said, not looking up at her face, but focusing on the button of her white cotton shirt. His head was leveling with her chest, and was slightly bowed. Kagome swallowed.

"It's true. I'm right, aren't I? How often do you need to… do it?" Sesshoumaru almost sprung his head up at her, but clenched his teeth instead, sensing his fangs as they were lengthening.

"Normally I could go by without feeding for several nights, but…" he stopped, and she nodded lightly, understanding his conflict.

"But now you need it to heal, and it drains you like hell." Sesshoumaru felt a shiver pass him, and closed his eyes tightly. He didn't want her to…

'No. Not her. She's not a vessel. **_No_**.' he thought, fighting against the Hunger, threatening to take over his reason.

Kagome couldn't believe she was doing this. She couldn't even word it out, and now she was considering allowing him to… Her thoughts were parted between helping him and helping herself.

She felt her hands trembling as she fought to stay still.

"How much do you need?" Sesshoumaru heard her dim voice and took it like he would have taken a slap over the face. He didn't want to do this.

"No, Kagome. I will not use you like that."

"You have to." She said, her sad voice almost physically hurting him.

"I will recover, eventually."

"You'll be so weakened by the time you recover, that you won't be able to even move, even if your wounds are healed. I'm not stupid, Sesshoumaru. Will you just hear me out?" She raised his head and saw something utterly inhuman inside his gold eyes.

They were filled with a cold, raw desire and their wild look scared her. She tried not to think too much, as she feared that if she would, she could very well run away screaming.

Sesshoumaru looked into her violet eyes and felt his every muscle tense and wanting to move his body towards hers. His jaws were lightly trembling as he clenched his teeth, and fought off his hunger, and his instincts. At the base of facts, he was a hungry predator, and the prey was standing between his legs, offering herself to him. The mere thought of it made him lose his mind. His nose wrinkled a bit, and his upper lip involuntarily flinched up in a snarl.

He tilted his head, as Kagome widened her eyes in fear. His face was almost unrecognizable. He didn't look like himself anymore, he was wild, feral.

'What did I expect?' she asked herself, and realized that she didn't know him at all. She'd seen him as humanoid, and she completely ignored his other side. Sides, actually. She couldn't believe she'd made this huge mistake. Sesshoumaru was by no means human, not even a bit.

He was youkai, and vampire. Both predators, untamed and dark at the core. She felt fear clawing the inside of her. She had to stop thinking, if she stood any chance of helping him. She wanted to help him. But she had to stop thinking in order to be able to offer her… _help_. She wasn't accustomed to not thinking.

"How much?" she asked again, and Sesshoumaru unclenched his fangs. His stomach was burning him, and he felt his every fiber revolting against him because of his refusal.

Seeing as he didn't answer, she insisted.

"I would still be able to remain awake, right? I won't faint or anything…" he eyed her, barely keeping still. His claws found the silk sheets and drew holes in the soft fabric.

"You would not faint." He worded out, and she breathed heavily a few times, swallowing in awe.

'_I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do…_' she repeated over and over again, not wanting to let reason prevail… for once in her life! Her self preserving instinct was very powerful, she thought.

Sesshoumaru knew it was the only way, but he couldn't bring his feelings to agree to it. It was the logical answer for him, although not the emotional one.

Kagome nodded once, deciding it once and for all, and moved towards him, placing one knee on the bed, just beside him, then climbing on his lap and positioning her body to fit him well without hurting him. Her heart was hitting her chest unevenly and seemingly more and more powerful, and she was trembling like a leaf in the wind. Her thoughts melted into a messy blur the moment she felt him under her, and she closed her eyes, letting out fast and heavy breaths as she leaned her head to the side, collecting her hair over her shoulder.

Sesshoumaru was still unmoving, but the contact with Kagome's body sent warmth through his veins, almost as if she would have been the blood running through him. He unclenched his claws from the sheets, and caught the back of her neck with one hand, resting the other one on the small of her back, slightly pulling her closer. Kagome's breath caught in her chest and she felt like she should be backing from this embrace that could only bring her pain. Yet, she did not.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, then reopened them with determination, and her tanned skin flooded his sight. He could see her pulse beating against her neck, and the rapid movement caused his lips to part in a hungry grin. He tilted his head and pulled her by the back of her neck, unclenching his teeth. His fangs were fully grown now, and he could feel his body urging him to take her faster.

"It will not hurt." He whispered, but Kagome barely understood him. With a scream of his feelings, Sesshoumaru opened his mouth and sunk his fangs into her neck, puncturing the soft skin and her jugular. She flinched and instinctively backed away, but he was stronger, and held her in place, not without some amount of pain and resent.

He found her blood and thrusted deeper inside, as Kagome let out a whimper. She felt like she would have been on drugs or something. After the short pain came a release feeling, and now she couldn't even recognize herself in what she felt. She went almost completely limp in his arms and had to put a hand on his shoulder, entirely forgetting about his wounds. Her eyes fell closed as she rolled them back.

If Sesshoumaru thought that he could maybe go easier on her at first, he found that it was fairly impossible. His need was too great, and her taste was too sweet. Kagome's blood spilled inside him like light inside darkness, tearing at his senses and healing him at the same time. He tightened his grip and went even deeper. This time, Kagome didn't whimper, but she moaned almost like… His thoughts blurred and he couldn't think straight anymore. He only wanted her, and no other thought could occupy his mind.

His cold lips gave Kagome chills, and she felt a warm trail of blood making its way down her neck. His hands were firmly holding her in place, and she arched her back pressing against him as he settled his rhythm. His movements had been somewhat random at first, but then he had deepened his thrust and now he was moving unhurriedly by an unheard pace. She couldn't think, and she didn't want to think.

After what seemed to be an eternity, he stopped and slowly backed from her neck. Kagome opened her eyes and didn't care to move. She felt him under her, and against her chest, and simply didn't care to move.

Sesshoumaru slowly ran his tongue over the trail of blood on her neck, and she rapidly took in air, opening her mouth in an astounded, unsaid _"Oh"_. She felt his mouth over her skin, and he licked her wounds a few times, sending spears through her small, already shivering body.

He felt like he would have been reborn. The taste of blood was lingering inside his mouth, and he took a second to settle his emotions. He pushed her back a little, to look at her face. He could feel her shivering, and wondered why that was. Usually, the ecstasy from the Kiss didn't cause shivering. They always went limp and completely abandoned themselves to his grip. Kagome was tensed and shivering.

She opened her eyes and took in the shock of his golden stare. Sesshoumaru involuntarily licked his upper lip, and immediately after felt like he could kick himself. It wasn't an image he would have wanted her to see. She was more than a_ vessel_ to him.

But Kagome said nothing, nor gave any sign that she was disturbed by his action. Instead she touched her neck and found than she had no wounds. She gave him a confused look.

"I have closed them." He whispered, and she raised her eyebrows.

"Oh." She said, as if it were logical that he would do that. He still had his arms around her, and she did too. He opened his mouth to say something but she didn't want to hear it.

"Don't." she demanded, and he closed back his mouth. He'd wanted to thank her, but Kagome couldn't bear to hear it.

She climbed down, leaving him feeling rather alone in the bed, and tried to act normally. But the situation was far from normal, as fate would have it, and she didn't really know how she should react to him from now on.

Sesshoumaru just stared at her, saying nothing, as he wasn't sure what she could and could not bare to hear from him, at a time like this. It was maybe the most awkward moment in his entire existence.

"Was it enough?" Kagome asked, and for the first time in maybe 600 hundred years, he felt guilty for having drunk a human's blood. The feeling didn't even compare to what he had experienced in his first vampire years. Back then, it was disgust with consuming the blood of an inferior species in order to survive. Now, it was only the thought that he'd used _her_, although he was sure that without it, he couldn't have made it.

"Yes." He answered, trying to not break eye contact, but Kagome was avoiding him, and eventually she turned her back to him, and pretended to place the objects back in the medical kit. She was actually playing absentmindedly with the scissors. She couldn't define exactly what she was feeling. It was some sort of discomfort, and a significant amount of loneliness, like she would have been abandoned.

What he had just done to her wasn't even qualifiable as _using_, since she had offered herself to him. She actually didn't think it would feel that good, but the exact opposite. She dreaded the act in itself, the fact that he drank her blood, but she wasn't gonna be that hypocrite as to lie to herself. She'd enjoyed the feeling of his mouth over her neck, and his deliberate thrusts inside her. It was almost like making love, so intimate and consuming. She felt her cheeks burning and forced the thought out of her mind.

She turned to face him again, when she thought she could take the sight of his self-conscious gaze. Sesshoumaru didn't look as she would have expected. He wasn't trying to comfort her; he didn't care to ask what she felt like. Maybe he already knew, after all he had done this so many times, to so many… Her mind paused, and she felt dirty.

Suddenly, the realization that he'd done just that with maybe thousands of other people (actually, _women_ was more like what she had in mind) made her feel common, just another… vessel, like he would have said it. A stinging pain shot up her stomach and into her throat, and Kagome whimpered as he stared at him.

Her eyes forced out the tears she didn't care to shed in his presence, and she felt the drops silently making their way to her chin. Her entire body began to quiver, and she slowly backed into a wall, and then sat directly on the floor, her head turned to one side and her arms resting on her knees.

Sesshoumaru wanted to do something to stop her crying, but didn't now what he could do. Nothing he could have said seemed good enough, mostly because he knew why she was crying. There was no point in trying to comfort her. No truth could have been more obvious that the one she'd just learned, while realizing how he'd used her and so many others before her.

Eyeing her salty tears, and aware of the absolute silence in which she shed them, he thanked the gods she wasn't looking towards him anymore. Her violet eyes simply could not hold the stigmata of a victim, and he simply could not take the reproach she most certainly threw at him right now.

Kagome eventually stopped crying, and breathed deeply a few times, standing up.

"I'm gonna go eat something." Without any more ado, she exited the large room, closing the door behind her with a small noise.

Sesshoumaru heard her footsteps moving away from the chamber, and he just sat there unable to think of anything at all. His wounds still hurt, but he decided to move around a little just to occupy his time with something.

:---:

Kagome ate her dinner in absolute solitude, as Emma didn't ask her much about her whereabouts the last night, and Kagome couldn't care less what anyone thought anyway. She felt like she wanted everyone to just leave her alone. She wanted to sleep. Looking at the clock, she saw that it said 11:23 pm. It was late, but she'd been used to staying up until 2-3 am. She felt tired, and her every muscle asked for rest. So she headed to her room, passing through the large empty hallways of Muncaster.

The angel gave her a weird look as she passed by the staircase, but she only glanced at the beautiful painting. It looked too much like _him_.

Crashing onto the large bed, Kagome fell asleep in a matter of seconds in a dreamless slumber.

_Take me, lease, I'll die without you…_

Kagome shot her eyes open and looked around. It must have been midday. She'd distinctively heard a woman's voice next to her.

"Kikyo… Where are you?" she whispered, but no answer came to her. She stood still for a few seconds, but then decided she'd just about had it with this entire thing, and wanted to eat something.

:---:

"Emma, could I have breakfast at this late time?" she said in the speaker phone, and the maid's voice seemed to hesitate for a second.

"O-Of course, Miss Kagome."

"Good, I'll be coming downstairs in an hour or so."

"Very well." She closed the phone and went straight to the shower. She still felt dirty.

:---:


	10. Colliding

Unliving

Chapter ten - Colliding

Her laptop sat open in the middle of her bed, as Kagome stared out the window. Another rainy day in the UK, and she felt as cloudy as the weather outside. The cursor pulsed in the middle of an unfinished second word on her almost blank document, and she didn't care to continue her attempt in getting some work done. What would she write, anyway? That she's found out why Sesshoumaru wouldn't allow visitation to Muncaster? That ghosts exist and she was constantly in contact with one? She smiled.

'As if…' she thought, sadly, and closed the laptop with a muffed _click_. She got off the bed and walked to the window. The fire was burning quietly in the fireplace, and she vaguely thought that Emma had lit it early today, since it wasn't yet 5 pm. It was cold, however, due to the foggy weather and the rain. It wasn't stormy, but a thick, settled rain that went on for almost two hours now and Kagome felt the humid air begin to make its way to her nerves.

The unmistakable sound of the droplets falling onto the pavement just below her window was constant and unsettling, like the ticking of an annoying clock in the middle of the night, giving you insomnia. She wore a pair o raggedy jeans and a large sweater which completely covered her upper body, not leaving any of her curves to be seen. She felt far more comfortable with that kind of clothes than with those flashy gowns…

It was already getting dark, and Kagome's eyes strayed about the horizon, as she was wondering when will he wake up, and how will he feel. She frowned, putting her arms around her waist, and leaning against the window frame.

Why did she care so much about how he was gonna feel, anyway? He'd known him for a few days, it she were to think about it. Again, she frowned and shook her head.

The tips of her fingers touched the spot where the bite marks were supposed to be, but found nothing but smooth skin there. She wondered how he'd done that, heal her wounds so fast.

'Who the hell knows?' she thought, and turned to eye the room. It was too quiet, she wasn't in the mood for company, although she was sure Emma wouldn't have refused to stay a while and talk to her. But she didn't want _Emma_. She wanted _him_. She was drawn to him like the moth to a flame… That was what annoyed her the most. No matter how hideous was what he'd done to her, what she'd done to herself, for his sake, she was still drawn to him.

"Damn it!" she cursed, as she closed the door behind her, heading for his bedroom, to see how he was. And she repeated the same words all the way there, sometimes out loud even, not caring if anyone would hear her.

She stopped in the dark hallway outside his door, listening with all her being, not knowing why she'd stopped. Her heard was beating fast and she tried to settle her pulse, knowing that she stood no chance of looking unsettled before his eyes, if she really wasn't.

Slowly, she pushed the door open, and entered the dark room. The candle had been worn out, and no light could be seen in the chamber. Her eyes fought to make out something, the outline of the furniture and hopefully his gold, avert eyes.

But she could barely see the bed. She walked towards the table where she knew candles still stood, and felt her way to a matchbox. She lit a candle and placed it on the iron support, turning to the bed. Sesshoumaru was still sleeping… or whatever his state was called. His face was still, but not the same stillness as when he was awake. He was at peace, relaxed and serene. She stared at his soft features, and thought that the word _handsome_ couldn't possibly describe him. He was _beautiful_.

His entire body held the kind of beauty that human think they can only find in the afterlife, the kind of beauty that has nothing human anymore, but only spiritual, something beyond mere physical appearance, an aura that draws you to that surreal being.

She closed in on his still form, and let her eyes wonder about his body. He wore an unbuttoned electric blue shirt and the same pants as the other day. His hair was spread on the crimson sheets like it would have been ravaged by wild beasts. One of his arms rested on his lower stomach and the other beside his body. His head was lightly turned to one side, and his lips parted just a little. She trailed her gaze down his neck, over his chest and wasn't surprised at the lack of breath anymore. His scars had dimmed a little. She bent to take a better look, slowly parting his shirt.

Half of his chest rested exposed in front of her violet eyes and she looked at the violent scar on his skin, passing her fingers over the soft texture. He was cold, so cold… She looked at his eyes, and thought that he was burning on the inside, not on the outside like the rest of the silly beings on this earth.

Sesshoumaru was awake, he'd been awake ever since she opened the door and entered the room, but he didn't care to move or let her know he wasn't sleeping anymore. He found her careful movement around the room much to interesting to cut them so abruptly by averting his eyes. So he laid still, as he knew she had no means to tell if he was indeed awake.

He fought not to shiver at her soft touch of concern, but his skin took the contact rather unexpectedly. He realized he liked her fingers running over his chest. Usually, he wouldn't accept physical contact other than the absolutely necessary one. Few humans had ever touched him, even before he became kindred, and almost none drove these feelings through him.

Truth be told, none. Rin had woken completely different feelings inside him, although he enjoyed her touch also. She was a sweet innocent child with whom he had hopelessly fallen in love. In time, he saw her as his own child, deliberately ignoring any written or unwritten rule of the taiyoukai clan.

She slowly leaned her head to his chest and listened to the silence inside him, as she rested her fingers on his cold pale skin. Sesshoumaru felt the tingling of her hair falling over her shoulder, and a faint smile lit his unmoving features. Kagome didn't see it, though, but stood bent over his chest, fascinated with the stillness of his body.

Her warm breath caressed him, and he decided to do something totally uncharacteristic. He focused and without even breathing, he forced his heart to start beating. Kagome flinched and tried to back away, but he caught the back of her neck, holding her in place. She took a fast breath and widened her eyes, listening to the slow pace of his heart. Her chest was pressed against his almost bare stomach, and her right hand rested on his shoulder.

Kagome could feel his body warm up and gradually gain human temperature. His muscles detensed, and his entire form became softer, lacking the stiffness on a dead body. Soon enough, his skin was warm and his breath reached the top of her head, making her wish she could witness his shift in appearance as he drew in air. She didn't ask herself why he was doing it, she just enjoyed the feeling of his body warming up against hers.

He loosened his grip, and she lifted her head to look at his face. Sesshoumaru was unmistakably staring down at her. His eyes were clear and with no sign of that watery shade they usually held.

"I see you're better." She said, her voice a little husky. She cleared her throat, and took a seat beside him, as he stood up on his elbows.

"I am." His tone of voice was strange, she thought. And the look on his face too, the way he eyed her, almost like… Strange. It reminded her of Inuyasha. Come to think of it, there were an awful lot of similarities between them, mostly in the way they looked. The white hair and the gold eyes… But that look… She didn't want to think about it further, because she had a feeling it wouldn't bring anything good.

"Still feeling used?" he asked, and she frowned, almost jumping off her seat. She didn't like his tone. Boy, did he have a way to spoil the moment!

"What?" her voice was sharp and he felt her annoyance. However, he didn't care much; he actually liked her all fiery like that, and found it quite amusing to stir her nerves.

'What the hell?' he thought, as he tilted his head to one side. He was a cold hearted bastard, after all, wasn't he? A label he could never shake off, no matter how long he'd lived. He would give her what she wanted, what she thought he was, deep inside. Who's to tell? Maybe she was right.

"Is it not why you cried? You felt used, Kagome." His deep voice began to drill holes into her patience. She clenched her fists, and moved on her seat.

"Does it matter?" she could barely hold back her frustration. He'd drank her blood, and now he was making _her_ feel like a moron because she'd offered! _Insufferable_ being!

He reached to touch her face, but she backed, and he threw her a shadowy smile.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" she almost cried out, standing up and eyeing him frustrated.

"Why do you always have to make me feel so… inferior? Isn't it enough that I wanna help you without any actual reward? There's nothing in it for me, or haven't you noticed, and I'm really not what you could call selfless!"

Sesshoumaru stood on the edge of his bed, with his elbows on the knees.

"I am what I am, and you knew that from the first day you came here, Kagome. Do not tell me you did not expect me to have some dirty secret._ You_ wanted to find it out!" He stood up and took a step towards her. Kagome grunted at him, pressing her lips together in anger.

"_You_ inquired about me and my life, and _you _were the one who didn't care to sit still and went about my _personal_ issues!" he pointed an accusing finger to her chest and closed in on a constantly backing Kagome, until she fell against the wall behind her.

_Trapped!_ She thought, as his finger pressed against her breast.

She narrowed her eyes and pushed his hand away, with a swift motion with the back of her palm.

"You should talk, Mr. _I-brought-you-here-to-turn-you-into-a-vampire_! Who do you think you are, butting into other people's life like that? I mean, I admit that I do the same, but only write stories, not go around drinking people's blood, for God's sake!" she had raised her voice, because she felt like choking with anger. And that stupid, superior smirk on his face was all in all too much for her to handle! She wanted to wipe it off with a fist!

"You do not care about me drinking other people's blood, Kagome! You are just as selfish as I am, only you hide it better. You just resent the fact that I have reduced you to a mere vessel, back then. You reject the fact that you are the same as everyone else. Because Kagome…" he put his hands on the wall on either side of her head, moving closer "… you want to be _special_."

He narrowed his gold eyes, and Kagome could see her reflection in the glassy surface. She knew his skin had turned back into the cold unliving stance that stated his nature ever so clearly!

"I _am_ special." She whispered, hating the fact that he could intimidate her like that. She just backed against the wall, away from his approaching face. She wasn't sure she wanted him to touch her. She wasn't sure… which meant that at some level she _did_ want him to touch her! That_ really_ bugged her.

"Kagome, dear…" he continued, ignoring her backing away and stiff form "… you are more than a vessel." Her breath was fast and her chest rose and fell rapidly against his, as he closed the distance between them and leaned over her body. Her head turned to one side at the sight of his fangs when he grinned at her. She couldn't take the display.

Sesshoumaru bowed his head and made his way down nuzzling the nape of her neck. She breathed unevenly, and clenched her fists to hold back from trembling. All her mental alarms went off as he kissed the soft skin of her neck, but she simply could not move.

"You are a river." He whispered, in that self conscious tone she so much hated. He knew what he was doing to her. He knew her every reaction, her every emotion. He knew that she was fighting against her own body, who screamed for her to abandon herself into the Kiss once again. _She didn't care to anymore_.

"_You are a river."_ Not a vessel, then. Her jaws trembled from the pressure she was applying, and her hand sprung up by instinct, slapping him over the face, and pushing him away.

"You _bastard_!" she shouted, her lips curved into the expression of disgust, and her eyes filled with tears of rage. Her fists were closed tightly, and her body quivered. Sesshoumaru smiled awkwardly, and drew a claw over his cheek. It didn't hurt at all, but she'd applied a lot of force into the hit.

She was definitely angry, and just as he'd thought, the sight of her anger only made him want her more. Almost all women had called him a pervert for that particular pleasure he took in seeing them losing their patience. But he couldn't help it, and Kagome's violet eyes throwing daggers at him was priceless.

"I should have known better. I should have let you _scorch_ there, on that field. You don't deserve my…" she stopped abruptly, and his head tilted again, this time with genuine curiosity. He wondered what she'd meant to say. Now, whatever she was going to say, would not be her first thought.

"You don't deserve my pity." She finally worded out, and his eyes seemed to flash red for a second. She frowned, surprised. Sesshoumaru moved faster than she could see and grabbed her by the throat, pinning her back to the wall, this time painfully.

She put her hands over his wrist, and stood on her toes as he forced her body up. She could breathe, but only barely.

"Is that what you feel for me, Kagome? Pity?" his voice was steady but she could read anger behind his words, and she suddenly felt afraid.

Kagome didn't answer, and he pushed his other hand on her chest, trailing his claws down her body, until he reached the edge of her sweater. She whimpered, and tried to unclench his grip, but no use came from it.

He slid his hand under her clothes, and Kagome tensed at the cold touch on her skin.

"Is _pity_ what you feel now?" she opened her mouth but only drew in air, as he was stabbing him with her eyes. She hated him for being able to do this to her. Hated _hated_ **_hated_** him!

But she had lied. She didn't pity him. If anything, she admired him for how he'd accepted the horrible fate he'd been forced into. But it was _his fault only_ that he was so damn annoying, and acting superior all the time._ That_ she couldn't forgive, and she would be damned if she would let him patronize her!

"You can go to _hell_, Sesshoumaru-_sama_!" she spat, squirming under his grip. He pricked at her skin with his claws, but she only narrowed her eyes a little.

"_I am_ in hell for 700 years, Kagome." He whispered, close to her face. She swallowed at the imminence of the fact.

He pressed his lips against hers, and she shuddered. His violent kiss took over her mouth, as he forced his way into her mouth, pushing her chin up with his thumb. Kagome tried to scream but her try was quickly put to a rest by him deepening the kiss. Her hands were desperately pushing back his chest, but he was like a rock, cold and unmoving.

Tears trailed down her face, as her body went limp and she fought to breathe through her nose, but his grip on her throat made it almost impossible. His tongue moved slowly in her mouth, as if he was completely oblivious to her hostility. She saw he wasn't gonna let go until she complied, and dropped her hands to each side of her body, allowing him to move inside her.

Eventually, she halfheartedly kissed him back. Which half of her heart wanted to kiss him, and_ why_, she really couldn't tell. She didn't touch him, other that that. Her hands rested on the wall even as he fingered her ribs and back.

After a while, he just stopped and let go, which resulted in Kagome dropping to the ground, disgusted.

She threw him a heartless look.

"You really _are_ a bastard." She said, and he snarled at her.

"And _you_ are a poor liar, Kagome." That condescending tone drove rage through her veins. She stood up and wanted to slap him again, but she knew he wouldn't allow her to do it again.

She just stared at him, as he smiled at her all superior and uncaring. She didn't recognize him in how he'd acted just now. But then again, how much did she know about him?

"Be good and pick up a dress for tonight, we will receive guests." He said, as if he could just order her around like a puppet. Her nerves snapped, and she felt her every bit of patience go out the window.

"_Like hell I will!"_ she screamed, pointing a finger at him.

"You cold heated _jerk_, do you think you can just push me around like that? I helped you once, I had to go against everything I believed it, and _this_ is how you treat me? No. NO, do you hear me? Enough! I won't be your toy, so just forget about it!" her eyes burnt, and her arm was trembling with anger. He was really enjoying her reaction.

'Worthy of her, indeed.' He smiled, and stuck his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight on one foot.

"Now you are being rude. I only asked you to accompany me…" his sentence was cut short by her shouts.

"Accompany! Asked! No, Sesshoumaru, you don't _ask_, you _order_! You command! That's all you can do, and I won't have it anymore, do you hear me?" he moved and caught her accusing finger, hand and all.

"You can just sit there then."

"You can just _bite me_, then!" she snapped, and angrily pulled her hand from his, storming out of the room, leaving Sesshoumaru with an amused look on his face.

"My pleasure…" he said, after she closed the door behind her, and raised an eyebrow, clearing his throat. He sighed and stretched his body. He was still a little sore, but nothing to worry about. He could feed tonight, although he knew no taste could ever be better that Kagome's.

"Ntz…" he went, and licked his bottom lip, smiling with intent. He could just corner her, if he really wanted her blood so much, but that wouldn't have been any fun. She had to want it, she had _to submit_.

'And so she will, soon enough.' He thought. This woman went about his mind all the time. He just couldn't shake her off. But he had to be careful not to upset her too much, or she might reconsider her helping him. The fact that he was kindred could only be undone by her, as it seemed, and he wasn't gonna throw away the only chance he got, due to his damned incontrollable pleasure of pissing her off! _Even if he did get such a kick out of it._ He smiled and decided he wanted a shower. The water will help him clear his much too heated thoughts!

:---:

She went outside in the rain, completely forgetting to put on the coat she'd come in with, which laid forgotten on a hanger somewhere at the main entrance.

The cold drops wet her hair, and she raised her face to welcome the cool air outside. She spread her arms to the sides of her body and closed her eyes.

'Damned _freak_! Why'd he have to piss me off like that? He did it on purpose, I know it!' she wasn't upset anymore, now that she'd yelled at him. She couldn't believe she'd actually said _bite me_. She burst into a laugh at the stupidity of her own words.

"God…" she whispered, as she realized she was soaking wet. Her clothes were sticking to her body, and she was as cold as hell. She shook her head, and turned to the door. She made her way back to his room, but when she reached the door, she just stood there for an entire ten or fifteen minutes, not knowing if she should enter. She sighed deeply, and pushed the door open.

Her eyes widened and she went crimson, as the sight of his almost naked body hit her smack in the face. He was all wet and his long hair was dripping with water. The only thing he wore was a towel.

"Damn it!" she swore, turning her back to him.

"Yes?" he said, and she could feel his amusement.

"Quit smirking, jerk! I just came to let you know I'll attend your damn _reunion_ tonight."

"Stop acting upset, Kagome, you know as well as I do that you are not. You only had your ego wounded a little, that is all."

She had to admit he was right. She wasn't all that sensitive, after all. She'd just been pissed off by the fact that he was stronger than she was, and by his condescending tone. What the hell did a little bit of blood matter, anyway? He was what he was, and he couldn't help his needs. And she had offered. There was no point in feeling stupid about it, now was there?

"Fine, then. Thank you." He said, and she just raised an eyebrow.

"Fine." She answered flatly, not knowing what else to do. She should have left, but she didn't really want to.

After an awkward moment of silence, Sesshoumaru decided to try joking… for a change.

"Did you mean that last line before you left, or did you just blurt it out without thought?" She forced her laughter so not pop out and embarrass her. She was blushing again, but her back was turned so…

"No, Sesshoumaru, I didn't mean it literally. Keep at safe distance, or by God I'll shove a stick through your heart and kill you." He huffed.

"Actually, that is another idiotic myth about vampires. You would probably slow me down a little, but I would still be faster than you are, Kagome. Oh, and please do not invade my house with the smell of garlic, I absolutely hate it, although it is another thing that would probably do absolutely squat against my being a vampire. No running water, either, as you can see, because I just had a shower…"

"Yeah. I've noticed. Any other useful advice?" she wanted to punch him, for maybe the trillion time tonight.

"Just one. Wear a red dress." She rolled her eyes, and shook her head.

'Again with the demands!' she stormed out the room and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Infuriating!" she said between her teeth, just outside his door, and Sesshoumaru smirked.

She'd wanted to know who was coming to see him, but his damned tone made her forget about it. She didn't care, it could have been anyone. Probably some business partners. She walked along the hallway, and grabbed her coat this time, before exiting. She went along the walls, reaching the main entrance, then went straight into her room. She had to get those wet clothes off her.

:---:

She was standing in front of the huge dressing closet, staring at the gowns and desperately trying to avoid the red one. There was only _one_ red dress there, and she finally grabbed the darn thing to take a look at it. What she saw upon closer inspection made her wonder I f the bastard had chosen it personally, because it seemed so like him to dress a woman like that! Especially_ her_!

She put it on, not without some effort, and stared at her own body, in the mirror. The dress left little to the imagination, although it was tastefully made. Her shoulders and neck were bare, as her breasts were cupped into a tight corset tied with laces in the back.

The high split in the dress went up her leg to the point where if she crossed her legs, she would show quite a display… But the fabric was flowing on her body and if she stood up the split was almost not noticeable.

She turned to one side and parted her dress, bending the knee out and looking at her own leg. She made a pose, and gazed into her own eyes, in the mirror.

"Jerk…" she said, but smiled, deciding to go with this idiotic and pointless game he so much enjoyed. Two could play it, as Sesshoumaru would soon find out. She was bound to get burnt if she was to play with fire, but by God, he would too! She grinned, and raised an eyebrow.

"You'll lose at your own game, Sesshoumaru." She said out loud. Sure she had to help him with _the other thing_, that hadn't changed, but that didn't mean she couldn't have some fun in the meantime. And bugging a vampire proved to be irresistible.

Emma knocked on the door.

"Miss Kagome?" she heard the maid say.

"Come in, Emma." The young woman stared at Kagome for a second.

"Good evening. You look very…"

"Hot, right?" Kagome finished, and Emma giggled, then resumed her usual composure, a little surprised at her own reaction.

"Beautiful." She said, and Kagome smiled at her.

"Can you do something with my hair, Emma? I want it pulled up." She moved to look at her back in the mirror, and Emma thought about it for a second.

"Of course, Miss Kagome." They smiled at each other as Emma began to lift Kagome's hair up and leave her slender neck uncovered.

When the maid finished, Kagome's hair was up in a slightly messy, but elegant style which suited her very well.

"Lord Sesshoumaru will receive guests tonight." Emma said, and Kagome nodded, placing a delicate necklace with a jade stone at her neck. Soon followed matching earrings and a bracelet.

"Yes, he will." Kagome said, in a conspirative tone which made Emma look at her suspiciously.

"Do you know who?" Kagome asked, but Emma shrugged her shoulders.

"No."

"Oh well." Kagome stood up and took a final look into the mirror, before putting on her high heels and heading to the door. Emma reached it first and opened it for her.

"Thank you." Kagome said, and hoped she could walk in those shoes without breaking her damn neck.

As she approached the great room where Sesshoumaru was to receive his mysterious guests, a slight feeling of uneasiness washed over her.

She pushed the doors open with some effort and took in the sight of the Lord in the comfort of his own home, feeling relaxed and in control.

Sesshoumaru had a glass of the same, _very_ red wine in his hand, and he was looking out the large window, seemingly at the rain outside, because she didn't think much else could be seen.

He was dressed completely in black, a powerful contrast with his white hair, which fell over one of his shoulders, tied loosely with a black piece of… something. He was breathtaking, but then again, so was she.

Her hands rested on the open doors, as they both eyed each other from head to toe. Sesshoumaru tightened his grip on the delicate glass in his hand.

:---:


	11. Information

Unliving

Chapter eleven - Information

"Good evening." He said, and she could laugh at the hypocrisy of their situation. Pretending that he didn't just forcefully kiss her, pretending that they hadn't been at each other's throats a few hours ago, pretending he wasn't a vampire and that she wasn't his river…

'Pretend, Kagome.'

"Konban wa." She answered, and he tilted his head, as she approached him.

"No, no Japanese tonight, Kagome. English. Guests are arriving soon enough, and they are foreign. We will speak English." She nodded.

"Alright." Kagome said. He'd just used English to say that, and she admitted to be impressed by the absolute lack of weird accent that Asians usually carry with the language. But then again, he was here for 700 years, so… She herself had a small amount of accent, but not that much. She managed honorably, Kagome thought.

He suddenly took a serious stance and gained her attention. Not that she could look elsewhere anyway, he was simply captivating. She had all these feelings towards him sometimes, she didn't know where they came from, but they seemed to just take over at times. She fought back as much as she could though.

"There are a few things I should tell you, Kagome. Please take a seat."

She sat on one of the huge armchairs which were spread all over the huge room, and he did the same, choosing the one next to hers. They were more or less facing each other, by the large window. Rain continued to hit the stained glass with a muffled noise. What was new?

"My guests…" he began, and she suddenly had the feeling she wasn't gonna like this.

"Are Kindred." Her eyes widened and she fought to keep her mouth from falling open.

"You mean vampires." Kagome said, almost not believing him.

"Yes. It is rather uncommon for Kindred to meet like this, but we are all of one clan, and…" she didn't wait for him to finish.

"Clan? What clan?" She didn't understand.

"Kindred are divided into 13 clans, each with their purposes and intentions, each with their disciplines and beliefs, ways of existence, strengths and weaknesses."

"So which clan are _you_ from?" she sprouted out, not giving it much thought. She was insanely curious.

Sesshoumaru seemed to think that this was really not the most important thing right now.

"Ventrue." He finally said, realizing that she would not give up asking until she found it out. And it wasn't a secret anyway.

"Oh." She said, as if she would have understood.

He smiled, and she felt a little out of place. But he didn't seem to mind her embarrassment, or the fact that she knew nothing of the Kindred. After all, Ventrue were the ones who supported The Masquerade mostly.

"You must understand that these people will not behave as humans do. We have a nature of our own, and even if they might seem polite and well mannered to you, they are all… _we _are all still kindred. Do not make the mistake of following appearance with them."

"You mean, with _you_." He seemed to take the remark rather hard.

"Indeed." He said, and cast aside the slight regret he felt at her cold words. She was right.

"They will not harm you as long as you allow me to make it seem as if you were my…" he couldn't really word it out; he knew it would get her mad.

"Property?" she said, grimacing at him. Sesshoumaru cleared his throat.

"I did not intend to say that particular word, but…"

"But that pretty much covers it, right?" she cut his sentence.

"Will you allow me to talk?" he emphasized on his words, and Kagome raised her eyebrows. This was really important, as it would seem.

She made a gesture with her hand, as if inviting him to do so.

"The first thing you should know is that kindred have certain abilities given to us by our

magical nature. We call them Disciplines, and each clan is specialized in two or three Disciplines, although there is no rule that says kindred could not learn other Disciplines than one of the clan." Kagome's lips were burning to ask which disciplines was _he_ specialized in, but she bit on her tongue and waited for him to get to his point.

"The usage of the Disciplines costs us power, as we use Blood in order to profit from out abilities. Now, and this is very important, if any of my guests attempts to make prolonged eye contact with you, break it. Do not allow them to look into your eyes for too long. Further more, if any of them, man or woman seems utterly attractive, or desirable in an unusually strong manner, try to stay at a distance. It means that they are trying to gain control over you. It may prove dangerous."

Kagome was listening, and she tried not to think in perspective. Yes, she understood what he'd just said and made mental notes. But… something didn't fit.

"How do you call your... Disciplines?"

"_Presence_ is the one you should be mostly fearful of as it doesn't require eye contact. And _with_ the eye contact, _Dominate_."

"So is this the only difference?" she was almost afraid to think into it.

Sesshoumaru knew what she was thinking, and he knew what she was going to think. The conclusion was easy to draw out, as far as she was concerned. Her wavering expression said it all. She fought against the thought, but would eventually come to embrace it. But he had to protect her, no matter the cost. She would hate him afterwards, but he had to protect her. And this was the only way. Better that she was here tonight, where he could see her, than locked in a room somewhere with or against her will, at risk that someone might find her. She was too important.

"No. _Presence_ affects the way you feel towards the one who uses it. It alters emotion to the point where you may fall in love with the kindred, and he may even call upon you from across the world, and you will respond his call and search for him. He could inspire either such horror or such love that you wouldn't be able to resist submitting to his desire. You wouldn't even be able to think that there might be a way to not obey him."

Kagome's eyes were watery. She didn't want to think that he'd used this power on her. She didn't want to think that she was so weak as to be manipulated like that. But, that would explain the attraction towards him, the feelings he rose inside her all the time, the way she sometimes didn't want to leave his side… It would have explained it all. She took a deep breath. She had to hear it all the way through. Sesshoumaru noticed her shift, and thought she doubted him by now. But he continued.

"_Dominate_ is used to force the mortals into performing different tasks. One word may drive them to either scream for nothing or stick a knife into the person next to them, depending on how skilled the kindred is. We can alter memories, or replace them entirely, we can condition one to act a certain way in a certain given circumstance, and we can even control their body, leaving them as spectators to their own actions. Again, depending on the kindred's skills."

She shivered slightly, and swallowed her awe. This was unbelievable.

"Do you… have these abilities also?" she was afraid of the answer.

"I do." A heavy rock fell on her heart and she frowned.

"You've used them… on me. Didn't you?" He knew she would ask this. The thing was, he didn't know if she would believe him if he was to tell her the truth.

"Remember when you could not move from your seat, and when you could not smile at me?" She nodded.

"That was the extent at which I used it on you. Nothing more."

She couldn't believe him. Not anymore. Who was to tell that he hadn't done horrible things to her, and then just erase her memory? Who was to tell that what she remembered about him now wasn't an _implanted_ memory? Her head spun around, and she couldn't think anymore.

She felt his hands on her shoulders and shot her eyes up at him. She jumped from her seat and went around it, putting some distance between them.

"Don't… touch me." She said, looking at the floor. She couldn't be sure of anything, anymore. How _could_ she be?

"Exactly _how_… skillful are you?" she asked, and he threw his head back a little.

"Kagome…" Sesshoumaru said, but she raised a finger, still looking down. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, as she desperately tried to settle her quivering.

"I have to know. Is there like a scale, or what?"

"Yes, something like that. Four out of five at both Disciplines." He said, as if he would have confessed to a murder.

She reacted as if she would have received a punch in the stomach.

Her violet eyes shot up at him again, and her gaze was hollow. Sesshoumaru regretted her reaction, although he knew it was inevitable.

"How could I trust you, now?" She said, and her words showed exactly what she was feeling. Betrayal.

He looked at her mindfully.

"Did you _ever_ trust me?" he asked. Kagome didn't know. She thought she might have, but now…

"I did not ask of you to trust me, Kagome. I sometimes distrust myself. It is not only stupid, but even dangerous to completely trust a vampire."

"And you say it just like that…" she said, with some amount of resent in her voice.

"How else am I to say it? Truth is best served raw, Kagome. What do you think stopped me from harming you, so far?" he closed in on her and went around the armchair she'd used as a shield until then. Their eyes were stuck on each other's and Kagome couldn't think anymore. She was afraid he would make her so some senseless thing, and that she couldn't oppose him.

"I don't know. Who's to say you didn't and then just erased my memory?" he looked angered, and clenched his teeth.

"I _did not_ bring you here so that I may have a toy, Kagome. I am not that twisted." His voice was even lower than usual, and she could read the anger in his eyes.

"Even _we_ have rules we follow. Even if _they are_ our own." She blinked and nodded, but she didn't believe him. She simply couldn't.

"I know it is much to take. But I ask of you not to act out tonight. You might put yourself in danger." His hand cupped her cheek and Kagome flinched. She wanted to turn her head against his palm, but resisted, thinking that it may not be her real feeling. She was gonna go crazy if she kept this up.

"Why did you make me come, then? Why am I here tonight? Wouldn't it be easier if I was up in my room, away from them?"

He shook his head.

"No. Better here, where I may see you and watch over you." She almost laughed, but instead let out a nervous sound that resembled a bark more than anything else.

"Watch over me? Yeah…" she rubbed the back of her neck, looking down and backing away from his touch.

"I guess you could put it like that too." She smiled sadly, and sighed.

"I guess that's it, then. Anything else?" the air of renounce around her didn't suit her, Sesshoumaru thought. But there was nothing he could do. Not without using his… powers.

"Just stay close to me, alright?"

"Yeah." She said flatly, and sat down.

"You think I can get a glass of that wine you got there? I really need it." He gave her a quick look, but she held her forehead in her palm, looking down.

"Of course." He said, and went to the bar, returning with a glass similar to his. He hadn't filled it, as a drunken frightened Kagome on his hands tonight might prove too much to handle.

She was gonna ask him not to manipulate her, but even if she got a promise out of that perfect mouth of his, it could mean nothing now. She took a sip from the wine, and noticed it tasted quite good. She remembered the time when she thought it was blood. It seemed ridiculous at that moment. She let out a deep breath, as she stared at the fire. Sesshoumaru was seated in front of her, on a similar armchair, his shirt unbuttoned at the top, and his thin black coat resting on either side of his body, reaching to his knees.

He was always well dressed, and in that elegant manner too, she thought. She didn't wanna think about mind control anymore. So she focused on something else.

"What other clans are there?" she asked, making him look at her rather surprised. He hadn't given her curiosity enough credit, as it seemed.

"We are divided into Camarilla and Sabbat. The general rumor goes that Camarilla are the… good guys so to say. Ventrue are part of the Camarilla. We try to keep The Masquerade… that is we do not wish mortals to know we exist. Sabbat are vicious and openly violent. The clans are divided to fit these two sides, except for some Independents." He shrugged his shoulders in a manner Kagome hadn't seen before, at him.

"I guess we are all enemies, no matter of our clan. Facing some great threat, we stand united, but even so we each form our side plan, we cheat, lie, manipulate and kill to get our way. The frightening thing is, most of the time we _do_ get our way, and then only want more. Consuming power, until the power consumes us."

He shook his head slightly, looking somewhere over her shoulder, seemingly at nothing at all, maybe through the wall, because his gold eyes were out of focus. He took a drink and swallowed with some difficulty. He could feel a lump in his throat.

His face seemed to say "What's the point?" but his mouth refused to word it out.

"There are the _Giovanni_, which would probably be able to interact with Kikyo here. They specialize in connecting to the dead, the spirits or however you want to call them. Then the _Brujah._ Personally, I find them a gathering of hypocrites with some amount of power on their hands. My clan would probably throw in some more adjectives, but I prefer not to. They are merely barbaric.

_Gangrel_ are fierce creatures, with powerful animalistic instincts, even more violent than Brujah. _Malkavians_… they really are mad to the core. But very dangerous, though. They would probably be able to get anyone mad too, and squeeze any piece of useful information out of them even if it were the best kept secret of their clan. You do not want to meet one, I assure you.

_Nosferatu_ have the main disadvantage that they are so hideous they cannot walk the streets without drawing horrified looks. They actually prefer it that way, though, and are forced to live in the sewers and catacombs even to this day. The _Toreador_ is a clan of high life kindred. It is possible that you may even know some, as they move in high circles that include actors, models, fashion designers… They enjoy the attention and are very good looking. Personally, I find them shallow. Usually, Ventrue takes sides with them. Hn…

_Tremeres _are warlocks, so to say; they cast spells and use magic more than any other clan. And these are only the clans of Camarilla. Sabbat are usually more fierce and grotesque than the others."

Kagome as listening silently, watching his blank expression that seldom shifted into a disgusted of bored one. He really didn't give a damn about them, as it would seem.

"How about Ventrue? What's _your_ thing?" she asked, making him snap out of his trance.

"Ventrue… are mostly noblemen, wealthy men and women coming from major families, with tradition over the ages. Just like I am. Lords. They call us Blue Bloods." His smile showed exactly how much he valued this label. _Not at all_. You already know much about what we can do."

"Do you have _any_ weaknesses? I mean, you seem so strong, almost like nothing could kill you… for good." His eyes sparked at her, and he wondered if he should tell her. There was really no way she could succeed in harming him, she was after all mortal, so he decided to answer her question.

"We do. Sunlight, fire… werewolves!" he said, raising an eyebrow. She widened her eyes.

"Noticed that." She mumbled.

"And one particular one that only applies to Ventrue, due to how _stuck up_ we are, as you would probably say it. We may only feed from one particular category of mortals, and no other."

Kagome frowned.

"How come?"

"When we are Embraced…"

"Embraced?" she asked, a little confused.

"The proper term for being turned into a vampire. Embraced. When we are _embraced_, we are being offered blood from a specific category of mortals. We remain conditioned to feed exclusively on that category."

"Like what? What kind of categories are there?" she felt like mortals were sliced cattle in the window of a slaughter house, for these creatures.

_I'll have two pieces of liver, please!_

She quivered, disgusted.

"Small children, virgins, young women, clerics…" he said, as if it were something along the lines of a story. She felt she was getting sick.

"So… what's your... pack?" He frowned. Sure she was distressed. He was gonna label her as… whatever, and she hated being labeled and thrown into some group. She was used to standing out, to being different.

"Young women."

"Oh…" she said, and raised her eyebrows.

"Isn't that a little ambiguous? I mean, how young _is_ young? Twelve? Fifteen? Twenty? Thirty? _I _think you got scammed… "

And she could joke about it! Sesshoumaru smiled, amused.

"Well, I do not know. How old are _you_, Kagome?" he leaned to her and put his elbows on his knees, lightly spreading his legs. Kagome crossed her own legs, knowing that the split in her dress would take advantage and leave her thigh open to the sight.

"How old would you say I was?" she said, all serious and gazing into his eyes, completely forgetting he could make her do whatever crossed his twisted mind.

Sesshoumaru took the bait, glad that she wasn't glooming anymore. If she could openly defy him like this, then she would finally come through and accept the state of facts.

"I would say no more than twenty six." His voice went deeper, and she felt a shudder through her body. She wondered if it was really _her_ feeling.

"Twenty five." She said, nodding once in appreciation.

"So what if I was a virgin? What then? Would you have _died_? Because that's another category, you know…" He smirked and cleared his throat.

"I assumed you weren't."

"Oh, you _assumed_." She stressed the word and smiled at him sweetly.

"Whatever drew you to that assumption, Sesshoumaru? I'm not married…"

"Please…" he said, as if she would insult his intelligence.

"No, no, I wanna know. What made you sure I wasn't a virgin? Because as you've put it, if you fed from another category you can't rightly function. So. Spill." She commanded, and he wanted to throw in some rude remark over her looks, but held back. It didn't suit him to do that.

"Well, Kagome, you being virgin would not interfere with you being a young woman, now would it? Categories may intertwine." She huffed.

"_You _just don't wanna answer me." Sesshoumaru began to think her stubbornness had no limits to it. Sure, he would answer her. But she asked for it!

"No virgin woman could look at me that way, Kagome. Virgins shy away. You just defied me and stood against me. You were intrigued, but not really that intimidated. Your eyes linger on my body a little longer than they should, and your gestures are studied. _That_ shows you have had a lover. I believe a skillful one too, because you are well aware of your sex appeal, and your body. And last but not least, the way you walk. Your hips move in that almost hypnotic manner that is only met in women, _not_ girls. Enough?"

She was speechless. But she'd done it to herself.

'Why did I have to push him? Why?' she thought.

"I see you're quite the detective. Have you given this much thought?"

"Enough, I would say. I _did_ come up with the correct answer, did I not?" She shrugged and sighed.

"Yeah." She didn't know what else she could say.

"I want you to promise me something." Kagome blurted out, again without much thought to it. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.

"Do you think it would matter if I promised _anything_?"

"I don't know. I'll take a shot at it." She leaned forward a little, the fabric sliding up her thigh completely leaving her leg out of the dress. Sesshoumaru wanted to take a better look, but tried to keep his eyes on hers. He knew she was doing it on purpose.

'This woman's playing with fire. Doesn't she know I could practically have her anytime I want?' But that was just it. He didn't want to force her; he didn't want her to submit because he's used his powers on her. She had to submit by her own will. He and his damned ego!

"Alright. _Ask me_." His husky voice crept down her spine, spreading inside her lower stomach. He was daring her, with a little amusement in his tone.

"Don't use your powers on me anymore." He knew she was gonna ask this.

"I was not going to, anyway." She didn't seem to believe him.

"But you have."

"Only with what I have told you before. It could barely be qualifiable as _manipulating_, would you not agree?" Kagome seemed upset.

"You're lying. Why are you…" she stopped and realized he might actually be telling the truth. After all, it wasn't impossible that she was attracted to him only because of him and not his playing tricks with her mind.

Sesshoumaru smirked at her, with a content look on his face, and tilted his head, narrowing his eyes further more. Kagome bit her lower lip. BUSTED! Was all she could think. Man, was she the biggest idiot ever, or what?

"Kagome, I relieve myself of any such responsibility for your feelings around me. I have not manipulated you in any way." His self confident smirk drove her mad. What was worse, she had no means of wiping it from his face. Lost a battle, but not the war…

"So I get a little… _unsettled_. Don't let it get to your head,_ vampire_! It's no biggy. And besides, I have a boyfriend." He huffed on his nose.

"Like_ that_ would matter." He replied swiftly, making her turn almost as red as her dress. To mock her further more, he decided to tell the truth all the way, knowing that she wouldn't believe him anyway.

"If you must know, you _unsettle_ me as well… Kagome." Her name rolled off his lips like a caress, and she immediately clenched her teeth.

"I hate you, you jerk! Why does it have to be like that with you, every time? You don't get enough kicks out of pissing me off, or what? Do you_ have_ to make fun of me too?" She drank half of the wine in her glass, before he could stand up and walk towards her. He lifted her chin with a finger, but she pulled her head rapidly to the side.

"Oh, leave me alone already! At this time, I'd rather have twenty vampires wonder around here than being alone with _you_!" Sesshoumaru thought that was indeed _something_!

Almost half an hour later, Kagome got her wish fulfilled. Sesshoumaru's guests were few, but by no means easy to disregard. If anything, each and every one stood out in their specific manner. There were seven men and three women, each looking at the others as if they would have expected them to jump at their throats at any given moment.

Sesshoumaru introduced Kagome with a wave of regret that she had to go through this. Everyone eyed her with superiority and arrogance. No exceptions. Kagome could barely hold back her anger, but remembered what Sesshoumaru had advised her, and took her seat by his side not saying a word.

As the eleven vampires set out to talk about what Kagome thought to be the equivalent of their small talk, she took the time to analyze their appearance and behavior. Most of them were handsome, beautiful or however you may put it. The men had almost the same air as Sesshoumaru, sure with themselves and their unmistakable charm. One had very long black hair and a fair complexion with the most unusual green eyes Kagome had ever seen. They looked like green water, or glass.

His features were soft, and he didn't appear to be more that 25 years old. That is, he _looked_ 25, but Kagome knew he must have been hundreds of years old. She tried to remember his name. _Alexis_. Yes, that was his name. No last name, just like Sesshoumaru. She figured they only used last names in their interaction with mortals.

Another man seemed older, around 36 years. What drew Kagome's attention towards him was the fact that his fangs were completely grown and visible every time he opened his mouth to say something. Also, his eyes were shaped like a feline's. It gave him an animalistic look which distressed Kagome. She knew his name was Viktor.

The women were all dressed in evening gowns which didn't resemble Kagome's at all, but mostly followed the fashion from around 1880-1890. They looked ancient, dressed like that, and somewhat ridiculous, Kagome thought. But neither of the men seemed to bother with studying their fashion style. They were mostly preoccupied with themselves, and sending dagger-glares at the others. She felt disgusted by how egotistical and self centered these beings were.

Neither minded her, they only looked at her once, when she'd been introduced, but given her mortal state, she was obviously considered below them. She couldn't care less, they seemed like they had nothing interesting to say anyhow. She focused on Sesshoumaru, who was now saying something about some sort of danger.

"There's no such thing as a war going on, Sesshoumaru." A man said. His black eyes looked at the taiyoukai with some amount of superiority, but Sesshoumaru ignored it.

"I have been attacked by one, and I am sure it was not an isolated event. The werewolf had nothing against me as an individual, but against kindred, as always. He never even tried to talk to me."

"That's all assumption, Sesshoumaru. Maybe he didn't want you to know what he has against you. It wouldn't be the first time this has happened. I say we let this pass. I really can't believe I've come all the way here for your _assumptions_!" Alexis said, and his voice seemed to reach into Kagome's mind more than any other. She looked at his face, his strange green eyes, and felt unsettled.

"I think we should look into it. It cannot hurt, and maybe we'll find some interesting details along the way." A woman said. Her full, red lips barely moved, and her face remained immobile as she did this, but her sapphire eyes were stuck on Sesshoumaru, and Kagome thought she saw a faint smile come from her. It was definitely the kind of smile that invited a man to do more than _look _at a woman, and Kagome felt disgusted by her obvious intention, so transparently displayed. Were all vampires this perverted, or was she just too human?

Sesshoumaru took the woman's invitation as coldly as if it were a man's.

"Thank you Gisele." Was all he said, then turned to Kagome, as everyone seemed interested in arguing with the person next to them.

"Stop looking at him." Sesshoumaru whispered, and Kagome frowned. What the hell? Now she wasn't even allowed to look at someone? She didn't feel like Alexis was trying to catch her glance, so there was no danger, was it?

"Stop being so tensed, it's nothing." She whispered back, and Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes.

"I said stop. Do not argue with me." With that last cold remark he straightened into his chair, and continued his discussion with Viktor and another man whose name Kagome couldn't remember. She just remembered that he'd been the only one who had taken her hand when they were introduced. He looked like the oldest from that gathering, and his manners obviously stated that.

"Albericht, you've always been more of a softy than you cared to admit, so please just don't interfere with this." Viktor said, and Albericht (because that was his name) tilted his head.

"Mind your language, young one." He said, and his voice was calm and undisturbed. Kagome thought he should be significantly older than Viktor, if he could call him _young one._

"Sesshoumaru has a point, and we should inform the Sire, if he doesn't already know that is. I support him entirely. There is no such thing as a random attack from the werewolves."

"Agreed." Gisele said, interfering into the conversation, and drawing Kagome's look of disapproval. The vampire woman saw Kagome's look, and settled her blue eyes on her before Sesshoumaru could warn her against it. Kagome felt something stinging in the back of her chest and found that she couldn't break eye contact. She was instantly speared by a hot wave and then froze.

"Gisele!" Sesshoumaru's voice darted through the air, and the woman broke her death glare, leaving Kagome confused and angered.

"This kine has no business here, Sesshoumaru. Why don't you keep her locked like the others? She's only good for one thing anyway, even if she _is_ sort of pretty." Her voice was calm but her eyes were burning, and Kagome could feel resent grow inside her.

'Others? What _others_?' she wondered, and gave Sesshoumaru a fleeting look.

"That is none of your business, Gisele. Neither is it anyone's but mine and mine alone."

That seemed to shut the woman's mouth, but the look in her eyes clearly stated that she wanted it to be her business. Kagome figured she must have had a thing for Sesshoumaru, otherwise her jealousy wouldn't have been explained. Because under that mask of arrogance jealousy was lurking in all its glory.

Kagome straightened her back on the chair and felt someone gaze at her. She looked across the table and caught Alexis' eyes upon her face. She stared back carefully, but the vampire didn't make any attempt to use his powers on her. He was just looking at her, his eyes passing over her neck, shoulders and chest much like any man's would, when facing a beautiful woman.

His look wasn't even hungry, or filled with that lust that so much disgusted her in some men, but only appreciative. Kagome felt beautiful under his eyes, and sketched a smile. Alexis smiled back, and his entire face lit up, his weird green eyes sparkling at her. He moved on his seat and his hair spilled over his shoulder and on his right cheek, giving him a mysterious appearance.

He really was beautiful, and that dark blur coat he wore only enhanced his beauty. Kagome involuntarily bit her bottom lip, only for a second. That was enough for Sesshoumaru to see it, and feel like he could pin her to a wall.

'God damn it, does this woman _ever_ sit still?' He wondered, and began to think that she'd driven him up the walls more often in the last week than any other being in the last five hundred years. But he had to be a host now, and couldn't be her babysitter for God's sake! So he only touched her leg with his knee, under the table, just to make her realize she was acting improperly.

Kagome caught his point, but simply ignored him. They weren't having dinner; the only things on the table were come wine bottles and glasses of all sorts. Kagome was somewhat hungry though, but forgot all about it when they all stood up and began forming small groups in the large room, each discussing the imminence or probability of another war breaking out between vampires and werewolves. Kagome couldn't hear much, because she's been ostracized from the groups, as _it wasn't a kine's business to take part at these gatherings anyway_, as she heard Gisele whisper. So despite her curiosity, she went in a corner of the room and held on to her glass of wine while looking at the raid speckled on the window.

She sighed and thought she should be more afraid. After all, there people fed on the blood of the likes of her. She was their vessel… and _his_ river. That thought made her shiver, and she clenched her fingers on the glass.

"Gisele is not very friendly, Miss Kagome." She heard a voice behind her. The deep tonality almost resembled Sesshoumaru's but this wasn't him. Kagome knew who it was. _Alexis._

"I really don't care about her." She decided to say, because it was the truth and she was too tired to lie." Alexis huffed out a laugh, and cleared his throat. He went around her and Kagome moved to see him better. His hair reached to his waist, and was flowing like silk.

"I believe you mean that just as you've said it. Few kine… I apologize, _mortals_ can say that. Maybe none, except for you."

Kagome shrugged.

"Doesn't this bother you?" he asked, and she just looked at him wondering what he meant.

"Being here, with us? Usually, when mortals are given this kind of opportunity, they tend to freeze in fear. You know what your presence here implies." Kagome thought he was referring to the imminence of her being turned into a vampire, and nodded. Sesshoumaru couldn't tell them that he was gonna let her go just like that.

Alexis raised an eyebrow.

"You're quite courageous."

"Why do you think he's chosen me for?" Kagome nodded towards Sesshoumaru, who was caught in a discussion with Albericht and Viktor.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru always had a good taste in women."

"Women?" Kagome smiled.

"I would say more like childer." She said, and Alexis smiled back.

"No. Women. He's never had a childe. You are his first. I must say it is quite unusual for a kindred to last this long without producing progeny, but Sesshoumaru was always a little different."

Kagome was surprised. She'd wondered if he'd ever… _embraced_, but didn't have the nerve to ask him. Now she'd found out and didn't know what to make of it. When she thought about it, it made sense.

"Then I should have every reason to feel special." She concluded, smiling at Alexis, who merely raised a corner of his mouth in a rogue smile.

"Indeed." He reached out and touched her shoulder, passing his fingers over her skin. Kagome noticed he was warm. Why was he making this effort? For her? She could hardly think that. But there seemed to be no other reason. She looked at him surprised.

"I didn't want you to feel out of place." He said, responding to her unspoken question.

"Why do you care?" Kagome said, barely keeping herself from whispering.

Alexis smiled kindly at her, and Kagome felt happy all of a sudden. She felt like a teenager in love. This vampire was really something.

"I like you." His simple words made her widen her smile and tilt her head. She felt at ease with him, which was somewhat weirs, given the fact that he was what he was, and she was what she was.

'Sesshoumaru will get really pissed over this.' She thought, as she took a small step towards Alexis, and engaged into a private conversation with him, amazed at how easily she could interact with him. He was mostly interested in her travels, her work, and Kagome found out that he himself was the owner of major TV station and a few newspapers which specialized in travel stories, discovering nature and wildlife, and other such things. Kagome knew most of them, and was completely stunned with the finding. They had a lot in common.

Sesshoumaru periodically looked towards the two, standing across the room, and he felt his temper fire up as he saw Alexis touch her repeatedly. This was too much! Kagome's gonna have a piece of his mind after this is over. That is, if he could hold back until then, and not force her out of the room.

:---:


	12. Lesson

Unliving

Chapter twelve - Lesson

Alexis wasn't really what Kagome had in mind that a vampire should be. He was nothing like Sesshoumaru, he wasn't cold and distant, and he didn't have danger written all over his perfect features. She could feel at ease with him… somehow. She was still well aware of the fact that she could turn into his _prey _at any given moment, but she wasn't facing that particular threat at this time, so she was as relaxed as she could be, given the circumstances.

While Alexis was telling her something about one of his travels in Antarctica, she could feel Sesshoumaru's death glare spear her. This damned being couldn't stand her enjoying herself or what? So just to spite him, she didn't even flinch, didn't even try to look his way or talk to him the entire time they spent in the room. Alexis didn't seem to mind missing on the discussion, and remained with her until it was time to leave. Kagome felt the attraction he was releasing, felt how charming he was, but didn't think he was doing it on purpose. He was just being himself. She didn't really mind being… charmed. Especially since it drove Sesshoumaru crazy.

When Alexis said "I must take my leave." and kissed her hand, Kagome got a shiver from his touch. He was still warm, and his breath barely brushed her skin. She decided vampire men were probably the most mannered one could find. Too bad they were dead.

She was seated in the armchair, all alone, wondering what took Sesshoumaru so long to see his guests off. She looked out the window and momentarily stared at the rain. She was getting tired of all this rain. The weather was getting worse by the day, foggier and colder, and rainy… rainy… rainy. She got up and walked towards the exit. She slid through the crack of the door with no sound whatsoever and began walking along the empty, dark hallway to where she knew she'll meet the angel. But just when she wanted to take the turn, Alexis' voice stopped her midway.

"I see you want to punish me, Sesshoumaru. A woman? This is certainly something you haven't tried yet."

"She has nothing to do with you, Alexis. Leave her alone." Sesshoumaru said, and his husky voice seemed to fill the main entrance. He was in front of the staircase, and Alexis was leaning against the edge, with a weird look about him. Kagome held her breath and prayed to God they wouldn't sense her. She was pretty far from them, and their voices could only be heard due to the echo. She was having trouble making out the exact words anyway, and couldn't clearly see their faces. But Sesshoumaru was irritated, no question about that.

Alexis laughed.

"Oh, I think she does. What is it now, are you trying to make me jealous?" He moved his body forward and brushed Sesshoumaru's lips with his fingers. The youkai backed his head from the touch.

"Stop it, Alexis. You know that this is all your doing. I have never…"

"_You_ stop it, Sesshoumaru! I can't believe you'd rather have a woman, a _mortal woman_ here rather than me!" he practically spat the words in Sesshoumaru's face, like a reproach. He sprung forward and caught Sesshoumaru by the hair, pulling his head back. Kagome widened her eyes, not believing what she was seeing. Not only was Sesshoumaru not reacting to this contact, but he seemed to try calming down Alexis. She couldn't understand. Why was he this passive?

Alexis moved again and put his hands on Sesshoumaru's chest, looking up into his eyes, then resting his head against him.

"You've never loved me at all, Sesshoumaru." The taiyoukai turned his head to one side and Kagome thought he closed his eyes for a moment. Then he put one arm around Alexis, and the dark haired vampire raised his chin to nuzzle Sesshoumaru's neck.

When Alexis got closer than he'd wanted, Sesshoumaru thought it would be a good time for him to talk.

"Do not do this Alexis. It is not worth it."

"I want to." Alexis said, and opened his mouth. Kagome thought she saw the dim light reflected into the young vampire's fangs, and wondered how Sesshoumaru could allow this. It seemed so unlike him. What was the connection between them, anyway?

By the time Alexis reached Sesshoumaru's neck, the taiyoukai put his other hand under his chin and raised his face to his.

"No." the word made Alexis close his mouth. Then Sesshoumaru placed a shallow kiss on Alexis' lips, and tried to back away. But the other vampire wouldn't allow him to. He pulled him closer, although Sesshoumaru tensed.

"If you won't grant me _this_, then at least give me a proper, ordinary kiss." Sesshoumaru took in a deep breath.

"I miss you. I didn't want to force you into this, Sesshoumaru, although you know I could have." Alexis said, and his words sounded like a plea. Sesshoumaru bent and under Kagome's horrified eyes, fully kissed Alexis as if he were a woman. She felt sick to her stomach. Was he… She didn't even know if a vampire could be heterosexual or homosexual, or maybe bisexual… She looked at them kiss, and her stare became one of curiosity more than a sickened one. She'd never seen two men kiss before. Not _live_ anyway.

This was too strange. And the fact that Sesshoumaru was one of them only made it stranger. But she began not feeling sick anymore. She wasn't all too comfortable watching it, but at least she didn't have the urging desire to puke her guts out any longer. She kinda felt like she was robbing them of their privacy. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, because although it was well in her nature to listen at various doors (it came with the job) she'd never peeked into bedrooms. And this was a private scene.

The kiss ended abruptly, and Alexis licked his lips, smiling up at Sesshoumaru. He was a little shorter than the youkai. Sesshoumaru backed away, and pushed Alexis at the same time. Alexis got the idea and just left without another word. Kagome stared at Sesshoumaru until she heard the heavy doors falling closed. Then she saw him lightly wipe his lips with the back of his fingers. She turned and headed back to the meeting room she'd exited a few minutes earlier, still confused by what she'd seen.

"Could you tell me what you were thinking?" Sesshoumaru hissed, as soon as he entered the room.

"Excuse me?" Kagome pretended not to understand, and didn't even look his way.

She heard him growl and move away from her seat.

"You know what I mean. Did I not advise you to stay away from them?"

"You mean from _him_." She replied, a little annoyed.

"I mean…" he stepped in front of her chair, and rapidly went about her body with his gold eyes. "… _them_."

"Will you stop being the damned control freak that you are for just half a minute and realize you can't drive me around like a freakin' puppet? I'm not your damned toy, Sesshoumaru; I thought you got that straight by now. Nothing happened, right? Why do you have to make such a big deal out of it? Just leave it alone."

He wanted to shut her up so badly, that he had to clench his teeth not to strike her.

"Is that what you think? That nothing happened? Gisele almost choked you to death, Viktor was about to throw you out of the room _at least_ a couple of times, and Alexis…" Sesshoumaru stopped, and Kagome stood up to confront him, with her hands stuck on her hips and her neck stretched forward in a defiant stance.

"What about Alexis, Sesshoumaru? All we did was talk." She knew why this was bothering him. Or, she thought she did. She never considered the fact that vampires being the sick creatures that they are, they could very well turn out to have sick sexual preferences as well. It wasn't like mortals didn't indulge in such acts also. But she'd never thought Sesshoumaru the type to do that, she wasn't sure why.

"All _you_ did was talk. _He_ was considering opportunities. You are so naïve…" Sesshoumaru spat at her, and took a step towards her. Kagome straightened her back and looked defiantly into his eyes. She wasn't afraid.

"Oh, come on! Is it that hard to believe that he might have actually liked me? Am I that horrible a person that no other could stand to be in my presence, but you? Or are you just _jealous_?" Her words cut like a blade through Sesshoumaru.

"Do not think so highly of yourself, _mortal._" He threw at her, spitting out the word like a disease. Kagome was on fire.

"I didn't mean me, Sesshoumaru." Her voice was all honey and she knew this would drive him mad. 'Serves him right, if he thinks he can push me around like that.'

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and Kagome didn't see much else but his figure blurring out of sight, and then felt her back against the wall. Her feet weren't touching the ground anymore. She struggled to breathe, as he was holding her up by the neck with one hand, and pinning her shoulder to the wall with the other.

She didn't say anything.

Sesshoumaru bent to her and his eyes sparked coldly as he whispered into her ear.

"Alexis could do to you things that you think impossible for humans to withstand without dying. He is a cold hearted killer and a twisted one by the way. _You_ would be nothing more than a night's entertainment to him. Get that _straight_ into your head, Kagome."

"And you are… what? The knight in shining armor?" she replied sarcastically. She didn't believe him. Alexis didn't seem that bad.

Sesshoumaru clenched his claws on her shoulder and pierced her flesh, drawing blood. Kagome whimpered, and he found it quite enjoyable that she didn't struggle to get away. She was just sitting there, defying him with her silence.

"_I_ am the only thing standing between you and your eternity of pain, Kagome dear. He would Embrace you just to make you his personal slave, if he would think that would make me come to him willingly."

Sesshoumaru had realized Kagome saw them in the hallway, but he wasn't sure _how much_ she'd seen.

"You're lying. You just wanna keep me…" she couldn't finish her sentence, because his grip on her neck tightened and she could barely breathe as it was.

"_Never_ accuse me of lying again, _mortal_." He stressed the words, and Kagome felt like she was turning blue from the lack of air. His cold grip made it even harder for her to think of anything, as if anything _else_ was needed!

Her shoes slipped out of her feet and dropped to the ground with a muffled sound, as she went limp. She wanted to stay awake and not faint, and she got her wish just as Sesshoumaru allowed her to breathe again.

She raised her hands and pushed his chest away, but there was really no use. He wouldn't move unless he wanted to.

"Get away from me, _you freak_!" she continued to fight him until he dropped her and used both his hands to push her against the wall. The wounds hurt like hell, but she only wanted to get away from him.

"_Let go!_" she yelled, and as a result she received a hand pressing over her mouth. He closed in on her squirming body and hissed between his teeth.

"Stop screaming, damn it! You will only cause trouble for yourself." She didn't care to listen and continued to struggle; letting out all the sounds she could, through his tight grip. Sesshoumaru was really getting sick of restraining her like this, when he knew he could do so much better, and with less effort nonetheless. But he'd promised her not to.

Kagome stuck her nails into his arms and did all the damage she could, although she knew he wouldn't mind much. She bit his hand several times, but Sesshoumaru only narrowed his eyes and pushed himself against her as hard as he thought she could take. Kagome moaned in pain.

"Are you _trying_ to make me hurt you? There is no escape, unless I wish it so." Kagome's eyes cursed him a thousand times over, as she refused to give in again, and refused to cry like a weakling, although she knew he was right.

She took advantage of a moment in which he thought her to settle down, and slapped him hard over the face, her nails leaving shallow scratches into his cheek. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes for a second, and clenched his teeth. His fangs grew and Kagome widened her eyes. _Now_ she was getting afraid.

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and stuck them on hers. She couldn't break eye contact, although she was still biting on his hand, and her nails were still stuck into his arms.

"You asked for it." He said, and his cold voice drove shivers through her. He bowed his head a little and looked at her from under his eyebrows. Kagome felt her body getting colder and colder, and something creeping inside her thoughts. She couldn't resist it. Sesshoumaru's golden stare dug into her soul and immobilized her thoughts, her every emotion and her will entirely.

"Stop resisting me." He said, and she found his words the most beautiful song a human could hear. She widened her eyes, barely realizing that she had to escape his grip, his eyes… those eyes…

She rolled back her eyes, but Sesshoumaru caught her jaw and shook her head a few times, forcing her to stay awake.

"Look at me." He whispered, and she had no choice.

"Stop resisting." She frowned, and refused to think she wanted to submit, although her body was betraying her. She witnessed in desperation her own arms dropping to either side of her body. She didn't want to fight him anymore. Or, rather her reason did, but her body wouldn't listen to her. Sesshoumaru loosened his grip.

"Do not scream." He said, as he let go of her mouth, and saw the marks on her face and shoulders. Bruises were beginning to form, and he felt a little sorry for her. She was, after all, only a mortal. Kagome leaned against the wall, not believing what she'd just done. Or rather what she didn't do. She wanted to run, but not really… It was all too awkward, and she couldn't even look away from his eyes.

"I am not controlling your mind, Kagome. Only your body. Sit still and do not oppose it." His words reached her as if they were sent through fog. She looked at him stupidly, not knowing if her mouth would listen to her if she tried to speak. She gave it a shot, and parted her lips. They seemed heavy, but she frowned and let out the words.

"…hate you…" she managed to say. Sesshoumaru grinned at her and she felt lost. He took a deep look into her eyes.

"Sit still." He commanded, and she found that she couldn't resist.

He grabbed her jaw and pushed her head to the side, almost banging it against the wall. The moment he put his arm around her, she realized what he was going to do to her, and fear grabbed her by the throat. She felt like she was choking, and her entire being fought against the numbness taking over her. His lips moved slowly on her neck and she let out a sob. He trailed his tongue over her warm skin, and Kagome shivered, desperately wanting him to stop.

"Let go…" she moaned, barely moving her lips. But he didn't. He wanted her to wake up by herself. He wanted to see just how strong she was. His fangs scraped her neck, and she flinched under his grip. Sesshoumaru smiled, slowly biting on her skin, careful not to pierce her. The lust for her blood was getting to his nerves, though. He couldn't hold back for much longer.

"Let go!" she said all of a sudden, and her hands pushed him away. Sesshoumaru allowed her to part from him, and Kagome dropped to the ground, shaking.

"Good girl." He said, and Kagome couldn't understand. She didn't wanna look at him, she was too afraid that he might try it again, although something inside her said that it had been more to this than she could read for now.

"It is quite alright to look at me now, Kagome. You are safe. You have been safe all along, actually."

"Tell that to the bruises on my body." She said resentfully, looking up at him.

"You just resisted Dominate, Kagome. Low level, but you did resist it. I think there might be hope for you yet."

She began to understand. So, this was just a test? He was testing her, or what?

"Did you have to be so brutal?"

Sesshoumaru smiled.

"Brutal? I was being gentle." Kagome frowned.

"You call _this_ gentle?" she moved to show him her bleeding shoulder. The smell of blood was bothering Sesshoumaru for some time now.

"It is far from what Alexis could have done to you."

"Again, Alexis." She said, and shook her head.

"So, does he_ love_ you or what?" she couldn't believe she was saying that.

Sesshoumaru pondered over the question for a minute or so.

"He thinks he does. I believe he just wants me because I reject him." Kagome raised her eyebrows.

"He is my Sire." Sesshoumaru said, and Kagome almost choked.

"You mean… Alexis… made you…"

"He was the one who Embraced me. Yes." Everything fell into place. So that's why Sesshoumaru was so permissive with Alexis. Kagome remembered her first impression over the dark haired vampire. He seemed so young, so charming… She didn't even want to think of how old he could be. Sesshoumaru being 700 years old as a vampire…

"I think I've had enough for tonight." She whispered, looking away from him, and placing a hand on her neck. She could still feel his lips over her skin. Was she feeling that good back then, because of his mind control, or just because _it felt good_? She couldn't tell.

"You promised, Sesshoumaru. You promised and you broke your promise."

"You did also. I told you what not to do, and you went and did the exact thing I advised you against. Would you not consider me fair?"

"Fair?" she laughed sadly, still looking at the floor she was seated on. She was barefoot and her legs were under her, leaving her thigh exposed almost indecently.

"I don't think you could be fair, Sesshoumaru." He frowned at her remark, but didn't question her any further. He thought she was partially right.

"You are so high up and so obviously… _different_ that you couldn't possibly know what is _fair_ to someone like me. Someone mortal. Someone defenseless. I hate being defenseless against you, and I begin to hate you too. The worst thing is, I don't _want_ to hate you. So you see…" she rose her eyes to him, and found his look a little more heartfelt than the usual stare

"… you see, I'm at a loss here. You do all these… _wrong_ things to me, and you're so… far away from anything and anyone I've come across and still…" Kagome shook her head, looking out the window, and standing up. She leaned against the wall, taking a quick look at her wounded shoulder. The blood was dry by now, but trails of it could be seen across her skin. She moved her eyes to him again.

"And still…" she said, not wanting to be completely exposed to him. She was afraid he would laugh at her show of emotion. After all, he was always so composed! She wanted him to know what went through her mind, she wanted to say it, but something was stopping her. She fought with the thought that her feelings might have not been entirely…hers. How could she ever know for sure? How could she?

"What do you _feel_, Kagome?" he asked, and his voice didn't seem intrusive, or manipulative. He was just curious. She swallowed, and didn't know what to answer. So she shrugged her shoulders, and raised her eyebrows for a second, in the image of absolute confusion.

"I'm not sure. What do you want me to feel?" He threw his head back. He could howl at her words. Was she this difficult all the time?

"I did not_ mean_ that. Kagome, I have not implanted any sort of feeling within you. I only…"

"You only messed with my head a little, right?" she cut him off, and Sesshoumaru pressed his lips together. She was right. But how could she make him feel so guilty for it? He'd done it so many times, on so many unsuspecting mortals, that he eventually became used to it. She wasn't supposed to be able to make him feel guilt. Damn it, she wasn't supposed to make him _feel_!

"I did." He said it like an apology, and took a step towards her. He wasn't far as it was. Kagome tried to back from him, but she didn't have any place to go, she was stuck against the wall.

'Pathetic, Higurashi! Where's your nerve?' she thought, as she realized how lost she was while facing him.

She shrugged again. _That's_ how helpless she felt!

"I guess I can't ask anything else from you. You're what you are, after all." He seemed to take that a little harshly.

"How do you mean?" his voice was so deep, and she so wanted it not to get to her, but…

"You can't _feel_ the same way I do, Sesshoumaru. I see that now. I don't mean that you can't respond to my feelings, but that you way of perceiving emotion is drastically different from mine, because you're…"

"Vampire." He spat out the word, and she saw exactly how disgusted he was with it.

She shook her head.

"Immortal." She simply said, and smiled at him awkwardly. He saw it as sadness.

"No matter what you do, you're still immortal, and this defines you. You have no escape, much as I cannot escape my death, or the way I feel for you. I don't rightly enjoy being… feeling this way, but I have no choice. You knew…" she stopped in mid sentence, afraid that he would take it as an accusation.

"I knew what would happen. I knew you would eventually fall in love with me." He finished.

"I'm not _in love_ with you." She corrected, and he raised an eyebrow. This was new. He could swear she was. They _all_ became in love with him, at some point. And he'd hated that, hated mortals, for their weakness. Even before he was a vampire, he'd hated mortality and its frivolous manifestations, like love. _Love_! He could laugh at it.

Sure you could love, but within boundaries, like he did Rin. One could regret loss, but not get caught in it. One could remember someone they loved, but what was the use of mourning? He could never understand humans, and their ridiculous tears, their bloodshed for one another. Why? What for? Some_ other_ worthless mortal telling you they love you back? Some useless piece of existence that seems like happiness? Happiness? Delusion, more like it!

"Then?" he managed to say, this time really curious, and maybe a little nervous at her possible answer. He didn't know what was coming to him… for a change. Kagome looked at him mindfully, tilting her head and narrowing her watery eyes.

"I didn't think anyone could make me feel this way. I want… I want to save you. Does that seem stupid or what?" she laughed sadly at her own words and embraced her waist, shaking her head.

Sesshoumaru was truly stunned. Her words were the most unusual he'd heard.

"Don't worry, I won't be like this all the time, you just caught me in a bad mood. Maybe the pinning to the wall had something to do with it." She smiled, but he didn't buy it. He moved closer and realized how short she was when he placed a hand on the top of her head. Kagome felt like a child under this touch. Was she supposed to feel like that? She didn't know anymore. She needed… maybe she needed him, who was to say, anyhow? Stranger things had been known to happen. Even to her.

"I apologize." He whispered, as he pulled her closer and embraced her stiff form. She didn't rightly know what to make of it. What was he apologizing for, anyway? It was so unlike him to do that…

He raised her chin and stared into her eyes for a minute. He genuinely wanted to kiss her. For real. Not to punish her, not to show her that he could. Just kiss her. Was that so wrong?

He bent and Kagome felt his warm lips over hers. She couldn't believe he'd just done that. His body was warming up and she felt his heartbeat against her own chest. It was so fast… or maybe it just seemed that way, in comparison with not having a heartbeat at all. She was wondering why he was kissing her. What was the lesson, this time? What was next? Another mind control trick, another Alexis warning? _Alexis._ She flinched and backed from his mouth.

"Why did you kiss me? Why did you kiss _him_?" Sesshoumaru tensed in an instant. He couldn't have a moment of peace with this woman. Did he have to explain himself all the time? It was fairly enough that he'd bothered to explain anything at all to her.

"Do I need a reason?" his words did nothing but confirm her suspicions. He really didn't care much about others. He simply wanted to, at the time, and that was it. He had no reason. His actions had no consequences for him. And as for what they did to others, he didn't rightly care. She felt like the biggest moron in the world.

"Leave me alone, Sesshoumaru." He didn't care to listen, just yet. She became more and more distant as he watched her, and at some point he felt like he was forcefully embracing her. So he let go.

"You are having trouble understanding me, Kagome."

"No, on the contrary. I understand you alright. I'm just not sure I can take you."

"Take me?"

"Yes. Take you. Like… handle you, and your entire world. Because you come with a full package. Sesshoumaru-sama and his world. His immortality. His tragedy. Can you take it? Well, I don't know…" she said, sarcastically, barely holding back her tears.

"Why are you doing this? You know we can't get anywhere with this… do you wanna call it a relationship? Suppose you could _feel_ something, although I sincerely doubt it, suppose you could love me, and that I would be insane enough to… abandon myself to you. Suppose we lived together, what kind of a life would that be? Hell, _you're dead_!" Tears fell on her cheeks and she began to shiver. Sesshoumaru frowned and found the situation a little too much for him to handle. Where was the Kagome he'd seen so many times? Where was all the anger and fear? Was this how she really was? This helpless mortal squirming in the vulnerability of her own condition? He felt a little taken aback. He wasn't ready for this. Not yet. Maybe in 500 years or so…

"I think you have said enough. I understand your point."

"Do you? Do you really?" she said, wiping her face clean and hating her tears.

"I believe I do." He replied, and his voice was again cold and intrusive. That _vampire_ voice she so resented.

"Right. Go back to being closed and icy, Sesshoumaru. That'll help plenty! Were you this way before you were turned, or is Alexis to blame for this horrible being you are now?" He clenched his teeth, knowing that he'd been this cold since… forever. But this was the only time he'd felt sort of guilty for it.

"Do not presume you understand me, human." Again, with the coldness. And that_ human_, said like it would have been a swearword.

"I'm _not_ human, _vampire_!" she yelled at him, and Sesshoumaru had to fist his hands not to lose it. He didn't like it when others disobeyed him. He was used to being in charge, all his life… and his unlife.

"You are mortal. That is enough."

"Enough to know you are hopeless. Do you think that turning back into a youkai would do some great good to you? Well, you're wrong! You may be able to see the sunlight, and not fear fire, but what use would that do it you can't feel anything else that your own superiority? Your damned ego? You know what? I'll be damned if I'll even try to use Tenseiga on you if you'll be like this. You don't _deserve_ it!"

Sesshoumaru's jaws were trembling from the pressure, and his own claws were piercing his flesh. Her last words had fallen like death upon him. He felt burned from the inside, and he couldn't take it anymore. He growled loudly and sprung forward to grab her wrists. Kagome didn't even oppose him this time. She knew he'll snap. She was only praying he wouldn't kill her. His eyes flashed red a few times.

"Who are _you_ to tell me what I'm worth? Who are _you_ to say what I deserve and what not? You have lived a second compared to me. You know _nothing_ of this world. It is the world, your _precious_ world that has brought me to this state, _Kagome_. Immortality has the advantage that it gives you perspective. Humans are a plague, and they _deserve_ to die. They _deserve_ to be fed upon, because they do nothing but destroy. Nothing but taint, and they sicken me.

I used to not stand the smell of them, the sight of them. _This_ is what I think of your humanity, and I _dare_ you to say I am wrong. You say I do not feel. I _do_ feel, but what use would it be to show it to someone like you? You would only taint it. I _can _love, but my kind of love is not by far as yours is. I would not even call it love, that's how different it is." He shook his head and released her wrists. His eyes were burning with an emotion Kagome had never seen before in him, or in anyone else.

"Do as you please. I was a fool to think a mortal could understand an immortal." He turned his back to her and walked across the room to lean against the window frame. Kagome got the feeling he was admitting defeat. Or maybe he was just tired. He was allowed to be tired, after all. She really didn't know what to do. She _could_ leave, she'd gathered enough information for her father to be pleased with the report, and her story had been forsaken since day two that she'd arrived here.

So this was it. She sighed. She looked at his tall figure, his perfect white hair, his clawed fingers against the cold glass of the window. She knew it was cold, by the steamed widow, from his… his _warmth_. She stared at the glass, and his hand. He was warm. Why was he doing that? Why? She wasn't near him; he couldn't have done it for her. Somehow, that made her think again.

She swallowed and licked her dry lips.

"We're not _all_ that bad, Sesshoumaru." She said, knowing that he'll hear her from across the room. But he didn't say anything. He just stood there. So, she was meant to be the one who gives in this time as well. So be it. She walked towards him and stopped just before touching his back with her chest. She was as nervous as she'd been when she first saw him.

"I mean, we can do beautiful things too. We can do wonderful things for the ones we love, things you would probably find ridiculous, but for us they mean a lot. I don't expect you to understand _why _a brother would donate a kidney to his sister or why someone would travel across the world just to see the person they love… But understand that they are significant facts for us, just as your status is to you. You want to be alive again, you long for your heart to beat against your chest by its own again, and the blood to flow through your veins again.

We are not that different, inside. We just have different scales to measure life. You have no right to think this low about ours. It's just not your place to judge us so harshly. Maybe you will be judged someday as well, and who knows by whom? Who knows if some other kind of being wouldn't find _your_ life pointless? Did you ever think of that? We are who we are, and we make the best of it, in any way we can. Don't judge, Sesshoumaru."

He turned to look into her eyes, to see if she really meant what she said. He couldn't believe she did, but her clear violet eyes and her kind face hit him like lightning. He thought he was going to give her a lesson, but instead, she was the one giving him the lesson of his life. The lesson of compassion, sympathy, humanity. And he began to understand it, although his mind raged against it still.

He'd judged others his entire life, although he thought himself distant and uncaring. But he'd judged everyone, and found them so below him, that he simply ignored their feelings. They couldn't possibly matter, if they were that weak! But he'd never considered their different status; he'd never thought to look at the world through their eyes. It simply wasn't an option.

And this mortal was now telling him that maybe there was a being above him. Who? God? He could laugh at her words, but didn't feel like it. Who was to say? Maybe there was a God, who stared down at him and laughed at his misery. Maybe.

:---:


	13. Closer

WARNING, SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD.

Unliving

Chapter thirteen - Closer

She was so tired, and so brought down, that all she wanted was to take a shower before falling on her huge bed. She only took a few minutes to clean herself and threw on an oversized T-shirt to sleep in. Those wounds on her shoulder weren't that deep, after all. More like pins had been stuck in her skin. Thankfully, the fire burned in the fireplace and her room was warm, although outside the rain still poured and it was getting even colder. She didn't know what time it was, and she didn't rightly care. She just wanted to sleep.

So she pulled the heavy blanket and sheets over her chest and closed her violet eyes, hoping to God it wouldn't cross his mind to wake her in the middle of the night for who knows what purpose? She'd left the room just after his eyes stung her, and she saw he got her point. She'd left him there all alone to think over what she'd said. She wasn't planning to leave, she still toyed with the idea that she could save him.

After all, that was what she'd intended, in the first place, ever since she'd found out about him being a vampire. He just needed to understand a few things, that was all. All that hate, stuck in his heart for such a long time… It was no wonder he was so cold! If that was the way he saw the world, then it was a miracle he didn't go mad by now. But who knew?

'Maybe we're all a little mad, every now and then.'

She smiled sadly and tuned on one side, immediately falling asleep.

:---:

He looked at her for almost ten minutes, in complete silence, without knowing even why he was staring like that. It wasn't like him to be in the dark regarding… anything. Her shallow breath told him she was deeply asleep. Her soft features, although human, were certainly beautiful. A beautiful human… rare indeed. He tilted his head and took a more intrusive look at her face, bending over to see her better. The fire was still burning quietly, although it had been consuming itself for the past few hours or so. He took a quick look at the clock on the wall. It claimed that the hour was 2:34 am.

Luckily, nobody was around to catch him in the act. He reached for her and slowly pulled the sheets, leaving her body half uncovered. Kagome wore nothing but that cotton T-shirt and her panties, but she didn't feel the cool air reach her skin. He looked at her wondering what was so alluring at this human, what could a vampire find worthy of his desire, in her. Especially one of _his_ rank.

He had to admit he didn't know. His eyes followed the line of her jaw, to her parted lips, her slender neck and the curves of her breasts, which rose and fell rhythmically. The cotton clothing she wore made it easy for him to guess what laid underneath, he could practically see the outline of her breasts, in detail, even the one of her ribs.

'Skinny human…' he thought, but then remembered she wasn't fully human. He grinned, and bent further more over Kagome's sleeping form, taking in her scent. She smelled like wine… and some sort of perfume. Flowers… he couldn't make out what kind, though. It had been long since he'd seen flowers in plain sunlight. He wondered why he was remembering that, at this time.

'This mortal made me think of it. Even asleep…' she turned her head slowly towards him, and he widened his eyes a little, wondering if she was awake, and just taunting him.

She certainly seemed the type to toy with men like that. But he was no ordinary man… and she knew it. He wondered how much of the kiss she saw, and what she thought of it. He smiled and took a seat on the bed, next to her, passing his fingers through a strand of her hair, and then over her lips. She mumbled some nonsense words in her sleep, and his smile widened.

His eyes glittered strangely in the fire light, and he closed in on her face, trailing the tip of his tongue over her soft mouth. Kagome didn't react at all.

'So she _is _asleep.' He reached down and pulled up the edge of her T-shirt, leaving her stomach bare, then he lightly touched her skin, not moving his eyes from her face. She felt so good, and so warm… Her mortality was his mermaid song. He wanted her… but didn't really know what for, or why. Maybe for all she could give him. He kissed her bellybutton, and trailed his tongue over her stomach, up to the base of her breasts. He wanted to touch her, but something in her air stopped her. What was it? He sniffed her like a wild beast, to find the scent that drove him crazy… Something about her wasn't right… He moved above her and nuzzled her neck. His green eyes turned dark as he clenched his teeth.

'Sesshoumaru.' Alexis barely resisted the urge to sink his teeth in her neck. She deserved it, after all. She'd been flirting with him all evening, she wanted it, he could tell. He could _always_ tell. These mortal women were either cold and distant, or throwing themselves at him. In any case, they all ended up _wanting it_. And he didn't mind indulging them. But this wasn't about her. It was about Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru, who had rejected him, and accepted her. They were close, but exactly how close?

Alexis felt like he could slash her throat right then and there. He felt the rage taking over him, and jealousy sprung forward to ask for revenge. Why was Sesshoumaru this cruel to him? He was the one who had given him life, who had taken care of him… This was his payment? He looked at the woman asleep in her bed, thinking she was safe, thinking _he_ could care for her. 'Idiot.' He thought, and caressed her cheek. Still, he wouldn't mind having a taste of her, she seemed the sweet type. He wondered if Sesshoumaru had used her yet.

'Most probable.' The answer came, out of his experience. One last time, he took in her scent, and slid his hand under her clothes, pressing lightly on her chest, just between her breasts. She was as soft as he'd imagined, and he could feel part of her breasts rising to each side of her chest. He decided not to be_ that_ rude. After all, he was of high rank, and rape (in any form) was below him. He pulled her shirt down and then covered her body with the sheets, smiling over her mouth. He loved how mortals breathed. So shallow, in their sleep, so hastily when he drew their blood… Up and down, in and out, ever the same. They never grew tired of it, until the day of their death.

Kagome shot her eyes open and instinctively put a hand over her chest. She felt like something cold had been placed there. She looked across the room, but nobody was there. Still, the feeling of another presence was so powerful, that she could swear somebody had been beside her, just a moment ago. But… The window was closed, and so was the door. Could it have been Kikyo? She looked at the clock. 2:55 am. She shook her head and went back to sleep, but as soon as her eyes closed, a pair of glittering green lights flashed before her sight, and she woke.

"Alexis…" she whispered, wondering why was she thinking about him at a time like this.

Her fingers brushed her lips, and she swallowed, a little worried.

'But it couldn't have been him. Why would he…' she began thinking, but then decided she wasn't gonna spend her night pondering over some vampire's reasons. Sesshoumaru was here, he couldn't allow any harm to come to her. Or, so she hoped.

:---:

Sesshoumaru was coming back from the village, on Saidan. His pace was not hasty, as he was still pondering over Kagome's words. She could have been right… but if it were so, what would that mean for him? What kind of creature was he, if she was right? The answer was painful, but true: terrible. A terrible creature. He had been blind for centuries, and now a mortal woman had opened his eyes. Was it really so? Or had he simply ignored the facts all this time? Was he more receptive now than he'd been before? Why? Questions rose inside his head, and he couldn't put them in order. _That_ was indeed annoying.

His eyes fell on the approaching silhouette of a man wearing a long black cape. Sesshoumaru stopped Saidan with a soft command, and waited. He had a hunch. And it wasn't a good one, either.

The moment Alexis' green eyes sparked at him, Sesshoumaru felt like a dagger had been plunged into his chest. His first thought had been about Kagome. She was all alone in the castle, with nobody that could have protected her. He immediately felt rage rising in his chest.

Alexis stopped just a few feet from Saidan and looked up grinning, at Sesshoumaru.

"That's one fine mortal you've chosen." His sick smile made Sesshoumaru want to hit him right in the face. But he knew it wouldn't make any difference. Alexis was more powerful than he was, due to his age.

"What did you do to her, Alexis?"

The other vampire tilted his head, and licked his lips.

"Oh, stop being so possessive, Sesshoumaru. She is beautiful, but not _that_ uncommon, after all! Why won't you share? You _are _trying to punish me, I see." He raised his index finger and waved it in front of his eyes.

"Bad, bad Sesshoumaru…" he laughed nervously, and the taiyoukai frowned.

"I haven't time for your games, Alexis. If you've done something to her…"

"Please! Stop acting like you care for that pathetic piece of existence, Sesshoumaru. I know you better than that! Well, I'll be seeing you later. Don't miss me too much." with that, he passed by Sesshoumaru and left him in the dark. Immediately, Sesshoumaru urged his horse back to the castle, the feeling of Alexis not having told the truth beginning to make its way to his nerves. What if she laid dead in her bed, or worse?

What if he'd Embraced her and just left her there in that excruciating pain and confusion? Than pain, he could remember how the pain made its way through your every muscle, every nerve and piece of flesh… it drove you mad, it made you do horrible things. One would feed on whomever crossed paths with him to escape that pain, that _hunger_. The hunger that would never leave you alone, afterwards, not until you satisfied its twisted pleasures, not until you fed upon a mortal's blood. And it never stopped, it was always asking for more, and more, until you would give in and succumb to it, and destroy any piece of compassion you had left within you.

No. She would not go through it. He would kill her with his own hands, rather than see her tormenting herself like that. Nobody should live through what he did. _Nobody_. Saidan stopped at the front gates, and Sesshoumaru dismounted in half a second. That was about the time it took him to jump up on her balcony and forcefully pull the windows open. He ruined the locks and the beautifully carved wood, but he didn't really care. He pushed the widow closed, even if he couldn't lock it anymore.

"Kagome!" he thundered, and the rain outside made his appearance seem even stranger to the woman waking from her sleep. Kagome shot her eyes open and turned to see him. Her heart was beating like mad in her chest, and she was confused still, even if she could tell it was Sesshoumaru who had entered the room.

"Sess…" she couldn't even finish her word that he rushed towards her, violently pulling the sheets from her body, and frantically searching for something with his eyes. She couldn't move, his actions didn't even seem his own anymore, he looked frightened, scared, but… by what? What could possibly drive him to be this nervous?

Sesshoumaru completely uncovered Kagome, and began checking her body with his hands, feeling her legs, then her stomach with no trace of shame whatsoever, pulling her T-shirt up to her breasts, and simply turning her body around to look for wounds or marks.

"Hey…" Kagome managed to say, just before he pushed her head to either side, to see if she's been bitten by the neck. Even with her wounds closed, he could tell, but this wasn't the case, she didn't even smell like blood, aside from the thin trace from her shoulder, which he was responsible for.

He then pulled her head down and inspected the back of her neck, then her wrists, with maximum attention. His eyes were wide open and he was frowning. Kagome had tried to make some sense out of his odd behavior in the first instance, but then decided to let him do… whatever he was doing and then ask questions. So, as he turned her body around and fingered her ribs, she held back the desire of leaning against him. That touch was way too intimate…

Sesshoumaru finally finished, and although it only took a few seconds, it seemed like forever to both of them. He eyed her attentively.

"Are you alright?"

Kagome swallowed and pulled her T-shirt back down to cover herself, although it was really no use… He'd already seen just about everything… well… except for some parts. That thought made her blush.

'Damn it…'

"Yeah… why wouldn't I be?"

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes for a second, and then resumed his awkward stare. Awkward, because Kagome felt like he wanted something from her, although she couldn't rightly tell what that was. And something stopped her from asking, too.

"Sesshoumaru? What happened?" she mumbled, and he lightly shook his head, realizing how much she really meant for him. He'd been really scared that she could end up dead… or worse, because he knew Alexis would have had no problem with doing _that_ to her. He only saw her as mortal, thus a toy.

'Imbecile!' Sesshoumaru thought, and passed his fingers through her hair.

"Alexis happened. He was here."

Kagome widened her eyes.

"Here… as in _here_-here? In my room?"

As she saw him nodding, she felt her throat sting. She rapidly placed a hand over her mouth.

"It is alright now, I see he has done nothing to harm you… although…" Kagome saw the look in his gold eyes and understood what he felt. She couldn't believe he was feeling it, but it was as clear as daylight. He had been worried about her… and worried like hell. It was written all over his beautiful face. She smiled in the corner of her mouth, taking a quick look at his wet clothes.

"You got my sheets all wet, Sesshoumaru." Her simple words made him lose a smile. Kagome was surprised. He looked nice when he smiled, she thought. And she wanted him to know it too.

"You should smile more often. It looks good on you." Her voice was a little caught, and he noticed how nervous it made her feel being there with him, especially in that particular manner. She swallowed, and he narrowed his eyes a little.

Kagome's thoughts melted into a blur when she felt his warm hand on her neck. She loved it when he did that… change temperature. It was weird, but she liked it. She wanted to feel his heartbeat, so she stretched her arm and slid it under his coat, over his black shirt, to feel that soothing pace on her palm. And sure enough, there it was. She smiled up at him, and he caught the back of her neck, pulling her to him.

His lips were burning by the time they kissed, and Kagome being so lightly dressed was feeling a little cold. So, the difference in temperature made her think he was burning up. She moved her body, kneeling on the bed, and pushing down his heavy, wet coat. It fell on the floor, and neither cared about it anymore. She put her arms around his neck, and Sesshoumaru caught her waist hungrily, urging her towards him.

He had no idea he wanted her so much, until he felt her warm body under his hands, until he felt her curves against his body, until she breathed over his face and burnt him with those surreal violet eyes of hers. She was perfect, he couldn't believe it, but she was indeed perfect. And he did want her more than anything, at that moment. He was only being held back by the fact that he could end up wanting her for more that that moment.

He dismissed the thought, and decided to concentrate on _the now_, for a change. After 700 years, he was living in the present, rather than for the future. And as her fingers passed over his body, he didn't regret the now. He would have been crazy to regret that feeling.

Kagome passed one leg over his and sat on his lap, trying to hold back the intensity of her feelings. She began to shiver a little, although she couldn't really tell if it was because of the cool air on her skin, or because of his hands on her. Her chest was just in front of his eyes, and he couldn't help pulling her closer. She only arched her back, leaning her head a little backwards and closing her eyes as he nuzzled her collarbone, then the gap between her breasts. His breath was hot, and she thought she must have been burning as well, but couldn't really tell.

She stuck her fingers in his hair and pulled, but didn't pull him away; she just put some pressure on him. She wanted to take her clothes off, but he didn't seem to be in a hurry. That only made her tense further more. Her muscles were twitching uncontrollably at random intervals, and she smiled every time she saw she couldn't get a hold of her body anymore. His hand was pressing against the small of her back, while he slid the other under her T-shirt, scraping her skin upwards with his claws. Kagome whimpered, letting out air. She really didn't expect him to be too gentle, and she had been right. He just couldn't be, it wasn't in his nature… But as he clenched his claws on her form, she found that she didn't want him to go easy on her, either.

She'd never been much of a masochist, and she refused to think she was one even now, but all that tension gathered up inside her had to be released somehow, and pain was the best way, as it seemed. She stuck her nails in his shoulders, and heard him growl deeply from his throat. It wasn't a sound one could hear from a human. It was feral, and caused her to flinch. She felt like she was about to make love with a wild creature. One that had reason, but powerful instincts as well.

She smiled in the corner of her mouth, and he caught it. He needed to be patient with her, not scare her… After all, she was mostly human, and _his_ ways weren't that… human. So to say…

He caught her waist and rapidly turned her around and immobilized her between his body and the bed. Her hands were clutched on his shoulders, but he took them off and led her to hold on to the iron carving of the bed, behind her. Kagome obeyed, not saying a word. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and she could se his eyes as the hungrily went about her body, taking in her every motion, and every show of excitement.

Sesshoumaru bent over her, allowing some amount of his weight to press against her, and trailed her arms with his claws. He sunk his face in the gap between her neck and shoulder, and took in her scent, pushing against her at the same time. Kagome let out the air she didn't know she was holding in, and opened her mouth in an astounded, unworded "Ah!" She reached out for his neck, but he caught her wrist and pushed it against the bed, his claws pricking at her skin. She thought he would draw blood, but she couldn't feel the pain anymore. Or at least, not as hard as she used to.

"Sit still, Kagome." He said, into her hair, and all she could do was comply as she clenched onto the bed. Her eyes were piercing him, though, and he thought he couldn't do this right if she was to tease him like that every step of the way. He didn't want to hurt her, and he knew that if he was to lose his self control, he would. But she didn't seem to notice how difficult it was for him to hold back his nature.

"Where were you, Sesshoumaru?" her thick voice made him stab her with his eyes. He knew what she meant, but didn't want to answer. Instead, he drew a hole at the top of her T-shirt with his claw, and tilted his head as he rose from her body a little, just enough to give himself some space… Kagome didn't quit, though. He didn't expect her too, either.

"I said… Where were _you_ tonight, when Alexis came for me?" he narrowed his eyes, knowing that the answer will prove exactly what she'd done to him. He refused to answer, although she already knew the truth: he'd been out to feed. She smiled in content, and he wrinkled his nose for a second, his upper lip flinching into a snarl. He pressed on her upper chest, holding down the top of her shirt, and the other ripped through the cotton all the way down to her thighs, parting her T-shirt in two. Kagome merely huffed, and widened her eyes, then she licked her lips and gave him an intrusive look that Sesshoumaru thought he couldn't take without covering her eyes. But he did take it… he had no choice but to take it. She knew… he could tell. That content smile on her face couldn't have come from any other knowledge that _this_.

"I could not do it." He said, and her smile widened in pleasure. So she'd been right. He couldn't feed because of her.

"Can you do it _now_?" she said and raised an eyebrow at him, practically inviting him to take her. Sesshoumaru felt a shiver shake his entire body, and Kagome seemed to feel it too, because she narrowed her eyes.

"Right now, there is something _else_ that I want from you." He bent and pushed her jaw up, then bit on her bottom lip, a little harder than he'd intended. As she parted her lips to mouth an "Ouch." he slid his tongue inside her mouth, catching her completely off guard.

She felt like she had no air, but she wanted him deeper, and in more than one place. Her entire body tensed and arched towards him, and her hands couldn't hold on to the bed anymore. She caught his shoulders from the back and pulled him onto her. He was still up on his elbows, and his white hair fell on each side of his face, like a curtain. He moved and parted her torn shirt, revealing her chest, and Kagome held her breath for a few seconds, looking at him as he was simply devouring her with his eyes. He parted from her and traced his claws over her breasts and stomach, then he returned and pressed on her torso with his palm, as he placed small burning kisses at the base of her breasts.

He could feel her body shivering under him, and as he breathed over the soft skin, he saw her instinctive reaction. His teeth left small red marks on the frail skin of her breasts as he bit her, and she let out a quick whimper as he caught her nipple. It wasn't like anything she'd felt before. He wasn't doing anything new to her, but _the way_ he was doing it… His fangs constantly pricked against her skin, letting her know he could bite her and bleed her at anytime, constantly menacing her with his power, his strength. He was the one holding all the cards, and he was making sure she knew it. But there was something else in his dominant stance.

'_He's holding back.'_ She realized and she understood just what he could do to her, if he was to lose him self control. After all, she was so fragile compared to him… and with youkai females he'd had before her.

His mouth on her breasts sent shivers through her body, making her tense and moan every time he would increase the pressure on her, making her arch her back to catch him closer. She clutched onto the sides of his shirt and pulled as hard as she could. His buttons flew from their places to God knew where, because they didn't care. In a few moments, his shirt was ruined, and she pushed it off his shoulders. Sesshoumaru allowed her to throw it on the floor, just as she did with his coat.

She passed her fingers and nails over his scared skin, breathing heavily. She knew he was beautiful, perfect, but never allowed herself to react like this. As she sunk her nails into his body, Sesshoumaru growled and flipped her on her belly, positioning his hips just over her butt. He stripped the remainder of her T-shirt off her and pushed her hair to one side. He leaned over her, and Kagome could feel his arousal pressing against her. That made her moan, and Sesshoumaru grinned at her reaction.

He pushed a little harder and she immediately arched her back raising her hips to meet him. He leaned down over her, the contact with her skin making him close his eyes for a second, in a desperate attempt to control his impulses. But as she moved under him, he found that to be fairly impossible. He shoved a hand in her hair and pushed her head to one side, growling again. Kagome could only feel his weight on her, and his teeth as he bit the back of her neck, then down to her shoulder, and she thought he would simply rip those thin panties and take her right then, even if that particular position wasn't one of her favorites.

She didn't really care though, as long as he would soothe the pain she felt in her lower stomach and between her thighs. She was burning up, even as she felt his body lose warmth and turn back into the cold lifeless being he really was. She flinched, and found that she didn't mind his coldness. She couldn't ask of him to pretend he was something else.

In an instant, he flipped her back and his eyes almost scared her. He was… wild. She couldn't find another description for him, at that moment. His look said all she needed to know. He wanted her, and he would have her.

His hand followed her curves down her body and he sat by her side as he slid a finger under the edge of her panties and trailed his claw over her soft skin. He pulled down and the fabric glided down her legs. In a second, she was completely naked, and breathing rapidly under his gold eyes. Her knees were bent and he put his hands on each of them, pulling her legs apart, not letting her eyes escape his, though. That simple gesture, of parting her legs so possessively, like it was his God given right to do it, made Kagome moan.

He caught her thighs and pulled her to him, as he lowered his head. She knew what was next, but didn't now how much she wanted it, until she felt his breath over her skin. His tongue traced over that intimate, burning place, and she instinctively moved forward to meet him. But Sesshoumaru pushed her hips back down, and he continued his agonizingly slow motion over her core. With every new movement, he slid his tongue more and more in between, made her tense and flinch until she whined and stuck her hand in his hair.

"Please…" she whispered, out of breath, and felt his smile against her skin. He kissed her as if he would kiss her on the mouth, his tongue playing with her core and drawing from her sounds she didn't know she could let out. She was shivering uncontrollably, and her inside seemed to explode as he forced his tongue inside her. This time, he held up her hips as she came to meet him. It helped him go even deeper.

She clenched onto the sheets and tensed her entire body, as he thrusted his tongue inside her. She randomly let out small cries, which he found quite pleasurable. Kagome was burning, and he was so cold, and the impact with his body was breathtaking. He shoved her hands in his hair and pulled him up on top of her, God knows with what strength.

Sesshoumaru allowed his weight to fall on her, and she caught his waist with her legs as she kissed him. She wanted him so much… Her hands reached down and undid the zipper of his pants. He didn't wait for her to do it, but did it himself, all the way through, until his clothes were completely off, and she smiled widely in expectance. Sesshoumaru simply raised an eyebrow, which had the effect of making her want him even more. He knew it, that's why he'd done it after all.

He felt his muscles tense, and it was only then that he realized he's forgotten to keep his temperature up. He forced blood through his veins, but Kagome frowned and shook her head.

"No. Don't." He looked at her with curiosity. No woman had asked him that, before. Mortals wanted to pretend like he was one of them, the few he'd bedded since he was turned, anyway. Kagome wanted him to be… himself. He nodded and leaned over her pressing against her breasts, and making her shiver again.

He licked her parted lips, the base of her law and her neck, turning her head to one side. Kagome felt his arousal between her legs, as tension was gradually building up inside her. His fangs slowly scraped her neck, and she moaned, wanting to move. He didn't allow her to, though, but caught her hair and forced her head in that position, so that he could have free access to her neck.

She felt him shift position and lift her legs a little higher up his waist, holding her down with his other hand. But his mouth was so carefully kissing her skin, it was almost hypnotic, and she closed her eyes, allowing the heat to pass through her. By the time she realized what he wanted to do, it was too late. She only felt his smile against her neck and his grip tightening on her thigh.

He simultaneously thrusted inside her neck and between her legs, making her open her mouth for air and whimper, widening her violet eyes, now darkened by desire.

He'd entered her so swiftly, that she didn't have time to prepare, to get accustomed to the feeling. She didn't even know what to focus her body on. The bite on her neck or the ache between her thighs. That wonderful pain spread inside her and exploded with her scream. She moved up her hips and he went deeper, as she breathed in and out rapidly, almost as if her lungs could have never been enough for the amount of air she asked for now.

That release feeling that came with their union was like nothing she'd felt before, it filled her and it drained her, it pulled by her every source of strength, and she wanted more. Sesshoumaru let go of her hair and caught the back of her neck. He realized he'd let her blood spill out without him drinking it. Trails of hot crimson liquid stained her skin, but that could only mean one thing. His desire for her was greater than his Hunger. Which was surprising, to say the least. It had never happened before.

He sunk his fangs in her neck, and she got that dizzy feeling again, like she was on drugs. As he began to drink, she tensed and felt him move inside her as well, in and out in a powerful thrust, almost hitting her as he entered, and making her whimper every time he did it. It didn't hurt, at least not in the way most humans defined pain.

It was a soreness that came with the act, that spread inside her lower stomach as she felt him deeper and deeper, faster and faster. Her throat stung a little, but she didn't mind. His mouth was moving wonderfully over her neck, and his body fit her perfectly. Their movement together came naturally, first slowly, then getting more and more intense, until he finally pulled his fangs out of her neck and concentrated on the other entrance inside her.

He parted from her a little, just enough to have some space, and moved his body to suit hers better. As he went inside her again, Kagome was sure she'd never felt like that before, in her entire life. It was like he'd touched her very nerve, at the same time. Her body began to shiver, and he only pushed in and out faster, until she felt like screaming to release her tension. But screaming wouldn't have helped her with anything.

He clenched his claws on her thighs and neither saw the blood spilling from her soft flesh. They both moved together in their own rhythm, until her body tensed in spasms, and he bit on his teeth not to howl. He felt like he would fall apart at any second, but that didn't stop him. She was drenched in sweat, and his cold hands only made it worse. Or better, she couldn't tell the difference.

Sesshoumaru grinned at her, and she pulled by the silk sheets, widening her eyes as they both gave in to the shakes and shivers taking over their bodies, that wild feeling that made him let out an inhuman growl, and her scream as her body felt torn to shreds. She tensed under his weight, and he followed her lead, both submitting to the climax. The world was spinning, and she couldn't find a steady spot to hang on.

Kagome closed her eyes tightly as breathed rapidly, and he felt her shiver while he was being pulled down by her arms. In a few minutes, she regained part of her self control and settled her breath, although her muscles were still twitching at times. She pressed down his back and le let his body push against hers. His weight seemed like a blessing to Kagome, although he was certainly heavy.

Than perfect body was made of a lot of weight… He sunk his face in her hair, and it was only then that he saw the blood trailing down her slender neck. He'd forgotten to close her wounds, and the thin trace of blood crept silently to stain the sheets. Neither said a word for a long time, they just sat there, and Sesshoumaru licked her neck to close the wounds from his vampire kiss. Her blood flowed inside him and it filled him like a new life. It was more than simply feeding, with her. He needed her on so many levels… it almost scared him.

At some time, he pulled out from her, and Kagome regretfully let go of him. He rolled to her side and sat up on his elbow, looking at her body.

"My God…" he said slowly, as he saw how she looked like. Kagome frowned and took a glimpse over her own body. Strange… she didn't feel as bad as she looked. He traced his fingers over her skin. Beginning with her neck, to her thighs, her body was covered either in small red marks, bruises or pin-like wounds, which had bled or were still bleeding. She looked like she'd been in a fight. He frowned at the sight of her body, and looked into her violet eyes. But no trace of pain or reproach could be seen there. She was calm, and soothed by his touch.

Sesshoumaru put his head on her stomach, and she placed a hand on his hair, staring up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry." He said, and she smiled kindly, but he didn't see it.

"It doesn't hurt." She said, but it wasn't entirely true, and they both knew it. Her body was sore, and the damage he'd done with his claws stung. But she didn't want to upset him; she was sure he felt pretty bad about it as it was.

So they just laid there in silence, her breath being the only sound in the room, aside from the clock ticking. The fire had died, and Kagome felt tired. The sky was beginning to show signs of dawn breaking, but she didn't want to see it. She passed her fingers through his hair, and Sesshoumaru realized how gentle she was, how frail and wonderfully sweet this mortal could be, how she could soothe him and hold back his anger and pain. It seemed unreal. Her eyes fell closed, and she wanted to sleep, to rest… her breaths became further and further apart, and Sesshoumaru began to trail off as well, as the usual numbness came over him, with the dawn.

A few rays of light crept inside the room, bathing a few small objects on the table. Her eyes shot open, and her heart raced like mad inside her chest, realizing that dawn could kill him. _Him_. She didn't even need to think of his name anymore. It was simply _him_. She took a quick look towards his face, and saw his eyes were half open.

"I have to pull the curtains." She said softly, and he could barely part from her for as long as it took her to do so. She returned to the ravaged bed, and slid under the sheets with him, falling asleep within minutes.

The light of dawn washed over Muncaster, but Sesshoumaru was safe behind her curtains, and he didn't care about the world anymore, because he was holding everything he wanted in his arms. Even if she _was_ a handful.

:---:


	14. Uncertainty

Unliving

Chapter fourteen - Uncertainty

He sat in his armchair, looking out the window at the fading night. He held a glass of black wine in his left hand and his eyes were out of focus, in that hectic way that scared anyone who saw it. His fangs were sealed together in a tight, overwrought pose and he couldn't think of anything else but _him_. His dearest childe, who had betrayed him, and rejected him so many times. His beloved childe, for whom he had given up more than he thought he ever possessed.

"Sesshoumaru…" he hissed between his teeth, and his green, inhuman eyes glittered in the absolute darkness of his chambers. His thoughts raced towards him, and reached out to him, but he knew, _he knew_ and it drained his soul that Sesshoumaru was with that woman. His insides felt like they were made out of fire and molting lava. He was burning quietly from inside out, but his white skin showed nothing of his pain, nothing of his torment.

It wasn't just desire, and it was more than love what he felt for him. He could even laugh at the thought of simple love, love like humans defined it. To give your life for someone, to sacrifice yourself… It meant nothing to him. What could a mortal's life mean? To give up an eternity… now that was more like it. To create a new life for your loved one, to unite them with you through an act of pure instinct and lust… To stay there, by their side, until the pain ceases its devastating damage, to offer your support, to desire such a complete and unbreakable bond… But Sesshoumaru didn't want to hear of it. He never did accept his idea.

Alexis took a sip from his glass of wine, and swallowed with difficulty. He resented the fact that Sesshoumaru didn't want his Kiss. It wouldn't have made any difference, after all. He was already obsessed with him. Alexis knew he was obsessed with Sesshoumaru, he thought about him every night, when he was waking, when he was feeding, whenever he was touching any other body that wasn't Sesshoumaru's. He wanted him there, by his side, as it used to be before he left their haven, so long ago…

"But you want her instead." he whispered to himself, and felt a sting in his throat. Wind was blowing dead leaves away from the tall trees in front of the inn, and Alexis sunk deeper into his seat, covering his face with his right hand. He sighed in an unusual manner, as if his soul had been torn apart by that last thought. Then he let out a whimper that could only be brought by pain, and Alexis realized he was clawing his own temple. Small puncturing wounds appeared on the side of his head, and he raised his head swiftly, clutching his hand on the seat, this time.

His ethereal eyes looked like glassy poison, as he dug his gaze into the depths of the night. Muncaster wasn't hat far off, but he couldn't go there now. Not now, although his very being cursed him because of this refusal. He had to see him, he had to feel him. There was no other way for him, now. He had no choice, and it tore at his soul to know he didn't want him.

Was he that bad? Was he so unworthy of Sesshoumaru's love? He didn't know, and that twisted his feelings with every waking second, it tore him to shreds, bits and pieces of him emotions falling onto the floor like the dead leaves blown from their safe places up in the trees.

"Sesshoumaru." he said, one last time, before heavily standing up and pulling the curtains to blind the light that was to come. He turned his back to the window and looked directly at the floor, fast memories flashing through his head and before his watery shaded eyes.

He shook his head and laid on the bed, after positioning the glass on the table. As he stretched his muscles, his slender body tensed but he felt the strain slipping away from him when he relaxed back. He placed a hand over his chest and turned his head to one side, his nose reaching the thick strands of black hair on the pillow. Morning was close, and he felt tired.

:---:

The dim light of twilight struggled to reach Kagome's bed, but there was no point. Crimson curtains fell heavy over the damaged windows, and the light couldn't pierce through. The clock was ticking without a worry in the world, as if it hadn't witnessed the collision from last night, as if the cold air in the room wasn't quietly creeping under her sheets, as if she were alone in the huge bed.

But she wasn't and her violet eyes met his sculpted features when she shot them open. His arm was holding her down by her waist, and she could feel his body against hers. She laid there in silence for a few minutes, not moving, shallowly breathing. He was motionless, and cold. A sudden feeling of something being utterly wrong with this situation washed over her, but Kagome decided to cast it aside, as she stared at his lips. They were barely holding any color. The only stains on his face were the stripes across his cheeks.

She was cold, from the contact with his body and from the air in the room, because with he windows damaged like that and the fire long dead, it was getting rather chilly inside. She vaguely wondered if Emma had attempted to enter the room in the morning. Did she have a key? Kagome didn't know, and the thought that the young maid did have a key made her a little nervous. They were quite a sight, embraced like that, in the bed. She smiled a little, and rubbed her eyes.

She had to warm up, or she'll get a cold. She carefully lifted Sesshoumaru's arm off her waist, as if she feared not to wake him, but his state was deeper than normal sleep. It was like a trance. She didn't know much about it. When her legs reached the thick carpet on the floor, she saw exactly how much they had both cared about their clothes, the night before. His coat, shirt and the rest of his clothes, as well as her torn T-shirt and her panties were resting on the floor, carelessly thrown from place to place.

She stood up and stretched, heading for the dresser, to pick out some clothes. She took out a green tank top and some panties, and headed for the bathroom.

The water made her become aware of every scrape, and she analyzed her body in the mirror. Her thighs held the most damage, as small needle like wounds were visible on each of them. The remainder of blood trailed down her skin, and she washed it down, following her curves upward, to her ribs. From place to place, small bruises adorned her skin and she moved her shoulders, feeling a little uncomfortable. Her entire body was sore, like she'd just made a huge effort.

She caught the back of her neck as she let water slid into her hair and damp it, then trail down her aching body. A warm, tingly feeling rose inside her as she thought of the night before, and she smiled despite her soreness. The only place she didn't feel sore in was… Kagome went crimson at her own thoughts, and hated her reaction the next second. She was really annoyed by her blushing all the time, but she couldn't help it.

As she exited the bathroom, dressed only in her panties and the tank top and towel drying her hair, Kagome took a quick look at the clock. It was almost 6 pm. She wondered if the sun was down by now, and decided not to check. It probably was. Another quick look, this time towards Sesshoumaru, answered her question. The sun was down, because he was up. His gold eyes were set on her, and she again thought they looked like angry bees, ready to sting at the slightest motion. She stopped her movement around the room, and stared back. He was considerably better at it, though. Mostly because he wasn't doing it on purpose, it came naturally for him.

She didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything. She just waited, and looked at him as he stood up on his elbows. Sesshoumaru tilted his head to one side, then to the other, until the stiff sensation in his neck disappeared. Then he stretched his arms up, the dark red sheets gliding down to his waist. Kagome knew how her face looked like. She was simply staring at him, enjoying the view, but he didn't seem to mind. He passed his tongue over his fangs and narrowed his eyes a little.

"Come." he said, and a simple word from him drove butterflies through her stomach. His voice was husky and lower than usual. She complied and stopped just before the edge of the bed.

Sesshoumaru threw her a glimpse then lifted the edge of her tank top, and Kagome thought 'Oh, no you don't! I can't do it again so soon, you'll kill me!' But he only seemed to inspect her skin, passing his fingers over her ribs. His eyes went further down, and she thought he let out a small laugh at the sight of her baby blue panties with the "Save the whales!" message written on the front. They also showed a small cartoon baby whale. She liked them, they were _happy panties_, and she wasn't about to let him make fun of her.

His gold eyes rose towards her and Kagome widened her eyes.

"What?" she said, but he only quirked an eyebrow, and resumed his analysis, now fingering the marks on her thighs.

"They don't hurt." she said, and allowed his hands to rest on her legs. He looked up at her and Kagome was smiling. She didn't even look like herself. She looked more like a child, than the woman he'd made love to the night before, and that confused him a little. Or maybe he just didn't know her enough. Her expression shifted and she placed a hand on the top of his head. Sesshoumaru was having trouble distinguishing what he felt. Maybe it was peace, but he couldn't really say.

Her attitude wasn't like he'd ever seen in her, she was so calm, so self conscious, and relaxed, nothing like the storm she usually was, nothing like the wild, untamed feline he knew she could be. It was strange, witnessing all her different… sides. But not unpleasant. He realized he was staring and that she was probably cold.

"Get dressed." he said in that commanding tone he was so accustomed to using, and she resisted the urge to roll back her eyes. Instead she put on e loose sweater and those ragged jeans of hers, the ones that Ethan seemed to dread so much the day she'd arrived at Muncaster. Suddenly, she realizes that she hadn't seen Ethan for some time, and Sabrya either, Sesshoumaru's hanyou chauffeur. That young woman was a little too strange for Kagome's liking. Too joyful and too conceited.

"May I ask you something?" She said, as she pulled on some socks, and Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. She took it as a yes, and continued.

"Does anyone at Muncaster know you're a… vampire?" she finally worded out, and he seemed not to want to answer. But he eventually did.

"No." That was all he said, and Kagome found that their recent closeness changed absolutely nothing in the amount of words that he was addressing her. Maybe he just wasn't much of a talker. It was not that unusual, after all. She closed in on the bed, and he followed her with his eyes, ending up looking at her from under his eyebrows as she stood just before him. Kagome placed her hands against her hips, something she remembered her mother used to do when she wasn't pleased with something. The memory of her mother left her with a bittersweet feeling, but she tried to keep on task.

"What's with Sabrya? Where is she?"

"Sabrya?" he repeated, and Kagome tilted her head.

"She has other tasks, than to be a chauffeur. Actually, she is my personal secretary, and manages my meeting quite responsibly, I might add. She is currently in London." His tone was even, as if he was talking about the weather. Well, truth be told, Sesshoumaru's tone was almost all the time this even. One wouldn't say he was standing in her bed, only half covered by sheets. He might as well have been in a meeting room, with his staff, ordering them around. He was amazing…

Kagome sat beside him on the bed, and Sesshoumaru slightly moved his head towards her.

'Not a movement to many.' she thought, and began to feel awkward. He was too cold, too distant. Actually, he was equally distant, but she expected him to lighten up, to be more relaxed with her after… Seemingly, relaxing just wasn't one of his favorite activities. So she tried to ignore it, although she knew that sooner or later it'll bug her to no end and ask him what was so wrong with relaxing. But not yet.

"May I ask you something else?" Her eyes were wide open and he thought she looked like Rin when she was asking for permission to go look for flowers on the field. That memory almost made him smile, but he held back, and delicately cleared his throat before answering.

"You may ask me as many questions as you like. I do not guarantee I will answer them all to your suiting, though." he said, and she took it as encouragement enough.

"Was it just my imagination, or was Alexis trying to… drink your…"

"Yes, he was." his voice was, again as steel.

"Why?" she couldn't get it. What good could that do? Was it just because Alexis was in love or _how-the-hell-ever_ he was with Sesshoumaru? She couldn't place his gesture.

"Drinking a kindred's blood for three times makes you become infatuated with them. In love, or however you want to put it. In short, the kindred who drank the blood is under the other's command in everything, one would have to say the word, and the other would obey. Some kindred use it with their mates, and as seldom as that may occur, it is a very strong bond, which makes the ones involved dependant on each other. If they both drink the other's blood, that is." Kagome began to understand.

"So why would Alexis want to drink your blood? Wouldn't it be in his benefit to make _you_ drink_ his_?"

"_Make_ me?" Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow, as if such a thought was ridiculous. She shrugged her shoulders.

"He is stronger than I am, he would manage it better, and by this he believes he would convince me to… be with him." The difficulty with which he had said the last words let Kagome know exactly how appealing the thought was to Sesshoumaru.

"Has he done it before?" She waited for his answer, almost afraid of it.

"He has." Kagome swallowed, not wanting to picture the situation. But her imagination was too vivid, and her native curiosity too great.

"When? How?"

He just looked at her with intent, and she saw he wasn't too comfortable with talking about it. He took almost a minute to answer, in which time he turned his eyes to the curtains falling over the window.

"When I was turned. The fledgling, the young vampire, must spend some time in the company of his Sire, learning the ways of The Kindred, before he can stand on his own feet. Alexis was… is very fond of me. But he had been ever since we first met, even before he'd turned me." He frowned and passed his claws through his long silver hair, detangling the strands with a swift and elegant motion that Kagome thought no human could achieve.

He raised his face and took that proud stance she loved so much in him, slightly curving his eyebrows upward from the corners.

"Alexis is more than he seems, in both a bad and a good way, Kagome. I do not expect you to understand someone like him, it took me two hundred years until I found that out, and I still cannot reason with him, at times. We are close though, and I believe we will always be."

Kagome felt a little bit of jealousy bite her on the heart, but she drowned it silently back inside herself.

She wanted to ask, but didn't know if he would answer… or answer the truth. However, she couldn't help asking. She was a journalist, it was in her blood.

"How close were you?" Sesshoumaru didn't look at her, but only smiled in the corner of his mouth, a smile that suited him like a glove. It was the _only_ kind of smile that suited his proud stance, even now. He reached for his clothes and put them on silently.

Finding that his shirt was left without its buttons, he left it hanging parted, out from his pants, and he headed for the window. He pulled from the curtains and the night spread inside like smoke. The room was somewhat dark, but Kagome's eyes had become accustomed with the lack of light in Muncaster. It was never well lit, although it didn't lack the means.

He turned towards her and set his eyes on hers.

"I did not sleep with him." His frank answer was more than Kagome was expecting. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth to protest, but she realized it would have been futile. He knew that's what she'd thought, and there was really no point in denying it.

So she closed her mouth back, only letting out air. Sesshoumaru didn't seem to mind her assumptions, though.

"He first Kissed me, vampire Kiss that is, when I was very young, barely a few years in vampire age, and I did not know what that implied, at the time. Then, the second time it was… I believe four hundred years later." He said, narrowing his eyes at some unseen ghost from the past, over her shoulder.

"I will not allow it to take place for the third time. It was a weakness even for the second." With that, his face became like solid rock, so unmoving that Kagome almost didn't recognize him.

"So it doesn't matter how much time passes in between?"

"It does not."

"Oh." she whispered, but she was still confused. Vampires had the most unusual customs.

"So do you think he'll be like… jealous, or something, because…" she was barely managing to let the words out, but she had to know what to expect. Alexis wasn't someone to mess with, and in light of recent events between her and Sesshoumaru, she was really put on the spot here.

Sesshoumaru only narrowed his eyes. It was his favorite thing, as it seemed.

"Alexis doesn't love me like mortals do, Kagome. His desire is beyond sexual, and he does not see you as a threat, as long as I do not give him any reason to. For now, he does not really believe that you are to become my childe. He has better instincts than that, and he does know something is off in our situation. It will only be a matter of time until he realizes what I want you for."

Kagome didn't like his answer. For at least two reasons._ One_, it meant Alexis would eventually see her as a threat, and_ two_, it implied that Sesshoumaru only wanted her for his transformation back into youkai. She wasn't too comfortable with hearing that. But upon closer inspection, she'd never heard him say anything that would make her think he cared, really cared for her as an individual, and not for what she meant, what she could do for him. He'd never promised her anything in regard with a relationship; she herself had mocked the idea, because they were so different.

So, why was she this broken, now? Why did some part of her expect him to treat her affectionately? Maybe that was the extent of his affection. Maybe he was simply not capable of more. But he'd said he could love. He _could_. Just not her. Who was to say? Maybe he did love Alexis, and maybe he was to become… She didn't wanna think about it. It was too painful.

'Painful? Huh… This is new! Higurashi, don't you dare fall for him! _It was just sex_!'

But she'd never slept with someone she didn't love, in her life. What was she thinking? She'd never slept with anyone but Inuyasha and she really_ did_ love him, at that time. Now… she didn't know anymore. She could bet he didn't either. Their relationship wasn't passionate for some time now, but neither cared to break it.

They were more like friends than lovers, they could talk for hours and she could honestly say he was her best friend. Nobody saw her better than Inuyasha did. But they couldn't be lovers. Not anymore. So she decided to talk to him the day she would be back in Tokyo.

Sesshoumaru was following the dance of emotion upon her face, and the unfocused look in her violet eyes. She'd come to a conclusion, and he wondered what she was thinking about. What was that conclusion she was so determined upon?

"I have been meaning to give you this for some time now." his voice cut through the line of her thoughts and made her look at him a little confused. Sesshoumaru was holding a small black case. it was about the size of a wallet, and Kagome's first thought was that it held some jewelry.

She frowned in disbelief, not expecting him to be the type that does that kind of gesture. But as he opened the case, she could see a silver necklace with what seemed to be a miniature knife at the end. Kagome bent her head to take a better look at the strange object. It was actually a cross, with a sharpened end that made you think it was a knife. It was certainly a blade in which one could cut themselves. Beside it laid the sheathe, made from the same sparkling silver. It wasn't bigger than her index finger, and at the top of the cross, a crescent moon was carved into the silver.

Kagome fingered the weird object, and then looked up at him.

"What is this?"

"Protection." he said in that simple manner of his, and he pulled the necklace out from its place, sheathing the small knife in its wrap. The chain was delicate, but strong, and she felt his cold hands on the back of her neck as he pulled the damp hair to one side, to tie it around her neck. The cross fell down between her breasts, and she took an awkward look at it.

"Didn't you say that vampires don't give a rat's ass about crosses?" she asked, and he could almost smile. However, he didn't.

"It is not against vampires."

"Then?"

"Werewolves."

Kagome's eyes widened and she took in a deep breath.

"Oh, I think that if a werewolf would want me dead, this little thing wouldn't stop him."

"That is precisely why we shall be training you in swordsmanship, starting tonight." Her uncertain expression showed exactly how much she thought she could learn.

"Also, I would like you to try and connect to Tenseiga again. See what you feel like." Kagome looked at his serious face and understood this was no laughing matter. If it could get Sesshoumaru worried enough to start training her, it must be severe.

She nodded, and he did the same, only more elegantly.

"Okay, when do we start?"

"First of all, you have to eat something." A small ache in her stomach agreed with him, and she had to comply. Dinner was welcomed, at any given moment.

:---:

One hour later, Kagome was staring at the wall in the weaponry room. Tenseiga stood there, safely pinned to the wall, next to Tokijin. She could remember how it felt to hold that sword. Her entire body was responding to the call. it was so powerful, it scared her. She took in a deep breath and reached for it. Sesshoumaru was leaning against the same wall, looking at her. As if she needed any more reasons to be nervous! Those gold eyes were as unsettling as always, and every now and then, she thought a wave of lust washed over them. Great! Now she couldn't focus anymore!

'Get a grip, Higurashi!' she thought, and gave herself a mental _high five_.

She unsheathed the sword and waved it around a few times, hoping she wasn't too clumsy with it. It was an ancient and enchanted weapon, after all, and she didn't think she was the proper one to be handling it, but even so… If he thought her to be, she could live with it.

As she was staring down the length of the blade, wondering if that previous call was just her imagination, she felt a tug at her senses, and Tenseiga pulsed, first shyly, then more and more powerful, until it directed her hand towards him. Sesshoumaru raised his chin and took a mindful look at his sword. He didn't make any other movement, though. His hands were crossed over his chest. Luckily, as she was having dinner, he found the time to change clothes, and his chest wasn't uncovered. Kagome couldn't but be happy about it. Enough distractions for one day!

The same warm feeling invaded her and her breath became fast and uneven as she could feel the words inside her very being.

_Save him… Save him…_

The same words. This time, she knew what they meant. She knew what Tenseiga wanted from her, but still she couldn't hold back her emotions, she was nervous as hell. Her hand began trembling as she raised the sword to him and pointed it to his heart. Sesshoumaru was analyzing her reaction. He knew what it felt like when Tenseiga wanted to save someone, against his wish. It was so intrusive, so persistent, that even he couldn't deny the sword's wish. He had been forced to comply a few times, although he wasn't too happy with admitting that particular fact.

Now, the sword was guiding Kagome, who had so little youkai blood inside her, and so little knowledge of youkai ways. He sincerely wondered if she would be able to handle it, the power, the grip Tenseiga had on the wielder's soul, at the moment it brought back a life.

Her attention was focused on the blade, and her entire body was tensed. it was clearly hard on her to take the sword's pulse.

Kagome felt invaded, she felt like a different blood was flowing inside her, and her lungs were burning with every breath. She swallowed and her throat felt thick. She frowned and breathed fast.

"Settle your heartbeat, Kagome." his voice felt like ice over burning flesh, and it hit her like a bullet. She opened her eyes widely and tried to do as he said. But her body wouldn't obey. Her hand was shaking as she felt Tenseiga gather power to heal its master, she felt the strength slip from her body and flow through the handle of the weapon, inside the blade of Heaven.

She whimpered and grabbed the handle with both hands, throwing Sesshoumaru a desperate look. She couldn't take it anymore. He sprung forward and grabbed the sword by the blade, pulling it from her shaky hands, and catching her just before she lost consciousness. He bent and laid the sword on the ground, focusing on her face.

"Kagome." he said, and she tried to respond, but choked instead. She turned to one side and coughed.

"I'm okay. I just didn't have… Sorry." she ended up saying, and he touched her face with the tips of his fingers. A gentle touch that showed that he was mostly holding back than showing he cared for her.

"It is alright. It was to be expected."

"Uh-huh." she mumbled, and stood up. She tried to smile, but she was too drained.

"Do you want to rest for a few minutes?"

"Yeah…" she said, a little embarrassed, and he nodded, leading her to a large armchair in the room.

"Better luck next time, I guess." she said.

"All in due time." Sesshoumaru answered, and she couldn't help but allowing his words to echo inside her head.

_All in due time…_

Will it ever be time for her to love him? She didn't know.

:---:


	15. Go back

Unliving

Chapter fifteen - Go back

She was looking at him in her usual manner, as if his face could actually express something. But Sesshoumaru didn't care to show emotion. His eyes were set outside, on the trees bending under the wind, on the leaves flying around in unforeseen patterns, all over the place. He was imagining how they rested on the cold pavement in front of Muncaster, how the dim light from the spotlights lighting the castle embraced the small dead things.

He was thinking about how he would never find that kind of peace, that kind of simple peace…

Kagome followed his eyes outside, and she realized he was deep in thought. She didn't want to disturb him, so she just bent her legs under her, and took another sip from the hot teacup she held, enjoying the warmth from the fireplace. Sesshoumaru was standing still near the window, his left hand holding up the curtain, and his head slightly bowed.

His profile was serious, almost solemn, and he was certainly preoccupied. After her collision with Tenseiga, he decided not to tire her further more with a sword handling lesson. Not tonight. Kagome complied, but she could still see he wasn't feeling quite like himself. She didn't like being left on the outside. This situation was beginning to bug her.

"I start to wonder if you really are the right one, Kagome."

She flinched, and frowned at the cold tone of his voice. But she didn't say anything. She just waited for him to explain what he'd just said. Her breath became hastier though, and her small delicate hands clutched onto the teacup.

Then, his lips began moving ever so gently, in a murmur she could barely make out, but still drove shivers up her spine.

"When pain of soul will drop as water

And cries from dead will fill her ears

When blood will drench the healing daughter

Your feelings will surpass all fears.

Then you shall open your abyss

And save the healer with your kiss

Then she shall rise and take your death

And you will cease to be possessed."

Sesshoumaru stood there silent for a few moments, in which Kagome could hear her own heartbeat hitting against her chest.

"What is that?" she could barely hear herself speaking because of the thunder inside her chest. Her eyes were narrowed in refusal to believe the words to be exactly what they seemed to be.

"The Prophecy." he answered so simply.

Kagome clenched her teeth. She was afraid he'd say something like this.

"Where did you hear it from?" she was speaking slowly as her eyes set on his features. He was serious, and seemed somehow troubled, although Kagome couldn't tell if he was upset or not. He was not the easiest one to read…

"I found it… five hundred years ago, in Kikyo's room. After I discovered her burnt body in the forest." he turned towards Kagome completely, and walked to the edge of her seat, looking her in the eye. He seemed so composed, no… so _unaffected_, so cold and uncaring that she was almost afraid to sustain his look. Sesshoumaru bent and leaned over her, his arms on either side of her body, on the armchair. Kagome looked up at him and decided he was being weird.

"How did she know…"

"She did. That is all _you_ need to know." Kagome was about to get angry, but the eerie look in his golden eyes made her stop. She could barely keep her head clear, that's how intrusive his eyes had become. In a matter of seconds, she was reduced to a still figure in the huge armchair, with this vampire hovering over her, and she didn't know if she should be afraid of the glassy spark in his eyes.

"Sesshoumaru… What's wrong?" She held on to the teacup like it would have been her life saver… her boat in the middle of an ocean. Sesshoumaru traced his claws on her cheek. He was looking at her like she was a strange creature, something he'd never seen before, something he would want to dissect and analyze. Kagome swallowed and widened her eyes a little, as she felt her hands grow cold.

"What… does that mean?" she managed to ask, and Sesshoumaru narrowed his yes and bent further down, catching the back of her neck and pulling her a little towards him.

"It means… if you're the one to save me, I must kill you, and then resurrect you. But you see…" he let go of her neck and placed a fingertip on her bottom lip "… if you're not the right one, and I kill you…"

"I stay dead." she concluded, finally understanding why she was growing colder and colder.

He leaned towards her like he wanted to kiss her, and Kagome was actually expecting him to, as strange as that would have been, but he didn't. He stopped an inch from her lips, and whispered:

"Would you die for me?" Hell broke lose inside her chest, as her heart went mad. She stopped breathing for a few seconds, as she felt her blood freeze inside her veins. She couldn't think anymore. How could he ask something like that? And more important, what did he expect her to say? _Yes?_ That would have been madness! She didn't want to die! Especially if it was for nothing!

So she shot her eyes up at him and breathed out fast.

"Are you serious?"

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes for a second and parted from her, heading towards the window again.

"Never mind."

Kagome frowned, and placed the teacup on the small table beside her. She pushed her body up and walked hastily behind him, grabbing Sesshoumaru by his sleeve and turning him around forcefully, to look her in the eye.

"Are you serious? Would you have to kill me to find out if you're still a vampire, or if your youkai blood came back to you?" She'd said it all in one breath, and her violet eyes were stabbing him with every second they looked up at him. Sesshoumaru felt something bitter spread inside him and he figured it must have been regret. What for, he didn't know, and he really didn't want to find out.

"No, I mean I must kill you as a vampire, then call my youkai blood back and revive you. If I manage to do that, then my youkai blood will prove stronger than this undead form I find myself in at the moment, and I will remain youkai. If not, I fall back into this form, and you die." Kagome was looking at him like he would have been a little green alien. His words were cold and calculated, as was his entire person. Could he really care so little about her? Could their night together have meant nothing to him? She suddenly felt used in the utmost manner.

"But… why me?"

"After I revive you, you will have to finish the fight for me. You can hear Tenseiga. Even if I call you back from the other world, there is still a chance that I may die doing that. If my body rejects the collision between the two natures, I will be literally torn apart. My body will show its age and a thousand year body is not a pretty sight. I will either decompose in a matter of seconds, or bleed to death through every scar I have on my body. The wounds will open once more and I will bleed until the youkai blood will be drained. This way, my body will reject the youkai nature, but it will not be able to take the vampire form anymore."

It was maybe the longest phrase he'd ever said, and the most shocking. So, as far as Kagome could figure it out, they had to save each other's lives. She was speechless. How do you respond to something like that? What could she possibly say? _Yes? I will die and come back for you? Yes? I will take the chance to die for good, for you?_ Did she love him that much? Did she love him at all?

Kagome forced her eyes to stay on his, but the cold glassy surface of Sesshoumaru's golden stare hurt her like an open wound. He could just stay here, in front of her, and ask her to die for him, so uncaring, and so completely unaffected… It wasn't right, something was off, and she wanted to know what he felt, what he really thought about this entire situation. He couldn't be this heartless he couldn't be this cruel. At least, not to her. She refused to believe it.

"You said I may not be the right one. How can you tell? What does it take for me to be the right one? Does it have something to do with Tenseiga?"

Sesshoumaru had to put his entire willpower into keeping his composed expression as unwavering as possible. He didn't want to show her what he felt like. He never wanted to show _anyone_ what he felt like, but with Kagome this task was sometimes impossible to perform. No, not this time. He had to keep his mask on, at all costs. He didn't really know where this was heading… or maybe he did, maybe he subconsciously wanted it, but didn't care to admit it… Who knew? He was too tired to think about it.

"No. It has something to do with myself."

Kagome didn't understand. So she was preparing to ask him for an explanation, but Sesshoumaru's cutting voice silenced her.

"I do not care for you enough for it to work."

There was a painful moment of silence in Kagome's head and heart. She wasn't prepared to hear this. She could have heard anything from him, and it would have hurt her less that this. Anything, but not _this_. She clenched her teeth and dug her nails in the palm of her hands. Her entire body was tense, and she was struggling not to shiver, although she couldn't tell if she was doing a good job or not, because the room started to spin around her and she couldn't think straight anymore. In that very moment, she knew she loved him, she was sure that she did, because her reaction wouldn't have been this violent if she hadn't. She wouldn't have felt so betrayed, and so alone, if she wouldn't have loved him. She'd been a fool to think someone like him could love her… or could love anyone, in the way she understood love.

'And I was so sure I didn't love him… I was so sure I didn't _want_ to love him…' she didn't want to cry, she didn't even want to punish him for what he'd done… Not anymore. Because it wasn't his fault. It was entirely hers and hers alone. She shouldn't have allowed any of this to happen. She should have run away from this place from second one she found out about what he was. But now it was too late.

"How… is that important?" she almost choked on the words, but she wanted to know, she _had_ to know!

Sesshoumaru gave her a mindful look and searched her eyes for what he thought should rest there, at the time. But he didn't find it. Her eyes were only pained, and somewhat hollow. No anger, no resent. She didn't hate him, she was only… disappointed. And he thought that was good too. Anything that would drive her away from there, from him, was good.

"Tenseiga only works if whomever uses it cares for the person the want to revive, or at least if the heart of the swordsman may carry some amount of compassion." he stopped there, knowing that she would understand. He didn't want to hurt her more that he had to. His feelings raged against what he was saying, but the turmoil inside Sesshoumaru was well caged by his cold stance. So Kagome saw only what he wanted to show her.

Sometime between their night together and her handling Tenseiga for the second time, Sesshoumaru had had a change of heart. He put in balance their lives, his and hers, he looked at how lively and young she was, and how bitter and cold he was. He saw how she simply shone with every second she lived, what wonderful power she released, and how she managed to make even him care for her. Because he did care, and maybe he could even love, like mortals did. But then, he compared her to himself, and decided that her life wasn't worth risking for his own. Her life meant more, and he wasn't gonna drag her in a war that was not hers. She had to go.

"I see." her voice was dim, but determined. She knew she didn't belong there, she knew she wasn't supposed to be by his side, no matter how much they had both tried to twist facts. It was obvious she wasn't meant for his world no more than he was for hers.

"Are you willing to just give up, then?" Sesshoumaru was simply looking at her coldly. The same cold stare she saw the first time she looked into his gold eyes. His features showed nothing, and she wondered how on Earth could he be this uncaring, how could he… after all that he's told her, after all he'd… She shook her head. What was the point? Just a day ago, they were both so determined to do something, to try at all costs… and now…

"I thought about it, and there is no point to attempt something that has no chance to start with. The important element here is compassion, maybe even love. I do not feel that. I cannot…" he stopped as if his lips were burnt, and she threw him a confused look.

"It's sudden." Kagome said, slightly lifting her chin to him and desperately trying to catch some emotion on his face. But she didn't.

"It is what needs to be done. If I would have thought you could do this, I would have asked it of you. As it is…"

"So, will you remain like this forever? Vampire? Is this what you want?" Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes a notch and struggled against the wavering in his voice when he spoke.

"There is no other way. Perhaps you are simply not the one who I was meant to… care for." His distance was too much to take. Kagome was helpless against the tears that rolled down her cheeks, but she refused to even blink. She hoped against hope that she would see something, anything in his eyes that would convince her he was lying. This couldn't be true, it simply couldn't!

"You should return…" she cut his sentence with a husky voice, drowned in bitterness and disbelief.

"Then pray tell me great Lord what was that night about? What were all those kisses about? What did you bring me here for, and why did you tell me all those things? Why, Sesshoumaru? Why? Didn't you have enough dolls to play with around here? Did you want a strong minded one? Well I am strong minded, and I don't buy it, do you hear me? This is stupid and I don't buy it! What's going on? Why won't you let me try…" She couldn't finish, her pace became hastier and hastier, and finally she choked on her own words. He grabbed her arm and pulled her a little towards himself.

His eyes locked onto hers and Kagome felt helpless again, powerless, as if her will had been suppressed, pushed back into a corner of her mind. Sesshoumaru's golden stare dug deep into her will and broke into pieces.

He had a moment of hesitation, in which his hand trembled on her arm, but he clenched his teeth and managed to gain control once again. After all this was what he did best. Control.

"Leave, Kagome." Her sad whimper filled the silent room, and Sesshoumaru's hollow soul. He let go of her arm and she almost fell to the floor.

"You're cruel." she said, and he bit on his teeth again. He was supposed to stay silent, but he couldn't manage to.

"You have no idea." he said flatly, but she didn't understand what he meant. Kagome's hand covered her mouth and she took a long silent look at the one she loved against both her and his will. She couldn't say anything to him, anymore. What was left to say? She didn't understand his decision, so suddenly taken; she could never understand him, as she saw it. So she turned on her feet and left. She just wanted to be alone; she wanted to leave Muncaster and Sesshoumaru behind, and her tears dried on her face as she ran up the stairs to her room, to pack her bags as fast as she could.

:---:

It was raining again, but Sesshoumaru didn't see it. He didn't see the leaves flying around in circles, sticking to the wet window glass, resting on the pavement outside the castle, he couldn't feel the warmth from the fire in the room, and he didn't even miss it. What was the point, now? She was gone. He might as well have killed the flames anyway. He was cold as it was, and he would never be anything else. Sesshoumaru frowned, clawing the dark red curtains. His eyes were out of focus, as they strayed over the darkened gardens of Muncaster. He felt… alone. He let out a fast breath, as the car departed, putting a painful, ever growing distance between himself and her. He didn't believe this would hurt so much. He closed his gold eyes and turned his head to the side, refusing, rejecting this feeling that had invaded him so suddenly, so abusively.

"Goodbye." he whispered, and turned his back to the stained window, as the car passed through the iron gates of his domain.

Kagome held her hands in her lap, and her head was downcast. The muffled noise of the engine was constant and somewhat confusing. She held her eyes half open as she fought her tears. Lost was what she felt like. She wasn't even able to hate him for what he'd done to her. She would never be able to hate him, and she knew it all too well that she could never forget about him. But… she was helpless against his wish. Her sad eyes gazed out the back window, just as Muncaster went out of her sight. On the other side of the castle, the sky was cut by a red ribbon that stated sunrise was close. The sky was bleeding, and Kagome turned her face from it.

"Why?" she mouthed in vain, expecting no answer. She just wanted to understand… She covered her face with her hands, and remained in that position until Sabrya's cutting voice announced they were at the airport. Kagome shot her head up and barely managed to walk straight for as long as it took her to reach the boarding gate. Everything was blurry. She said goodbye to Sabrya in a distant manner, as if it were someone else talking for her, she gave the flight attendant her ticket as if there was someone else controlling her body. She was a spectator to her own actions, all she could do was watch as the world happened around her, dragging her along with it, forcing her to react, but she didn't care to. She had to write that damn report, and the story, and then… and then what? Maybe she'll go away, somewhere, because she felt drained. She felt like she needed a break, she wanted to be alone.

:---:

Tokyo was crowded as always, bursting with life, activity, and everyone in a hurry. Kagome struggled to reach the main entrance from Higurashi Inc., across the street from where she'd parked her car. Her arms were carrying a few dozens of files, as it seemed, and a leather backpack. At last, she reached the front entrance, and made her way to the elevator, absentmindedly waving to one of the guards, whom she knew.

After a few seconds, the elevator doors opened with that heavy metallic sound that she hated, an impressive crowd emerging from the small room. Kagome stepped to one side to avoid being stepped on. As soon as she could see the back of the elevator chamber, she stepped inside, a similar crowd following her in. She god squished all the way up to the last floor, where Kazuki had his office, but she endured it with great bravery, and managed to keep calm. Finally, when the doors opened for the last floor, she stepped out, and so did everyone else, each taking their respective paths.

Kagome turned left and walked down the hallway until she found Sango's neat office waiting in a round opening of the corridor. The young woman was obviously very focused on her task, because Kagome had to sit on the edge of her office for Sango to notice her.

"Kagome! God, you've scared me? Back so soon?" Sango jumped up from her seat to give Kagome a hug, and a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, so much for Muncaster…" Kagome tried to act normally, but the simple fact that she'd given up on her purpose at Muncaster was alarming to Sango, who eyed her friend suspiciously.

"You're looking a little pale. Weather didn't agree with you?" Sango raised her eyebrows in an expression of amusement and concealed concern.

Kagome waved off her worry, and shook her head.

"The _company_ didn't agree with me. I'll tell you, those people…"

"Kagome?" Kazuki was standing in the huge doorframe of his office, staring at his daughter.

"Back already?" he asked, and Kagome rolled her eyes back.

"For God's sake, Kazuki, are you _all _so happy to see me? Don't burst with joy or anything! Geez…" Higurashi sama shook his head, and walked to his daughter, giving her a proper embrace… maybe _too_ proper for what Kagome needed at the time.

"Welcome back." the man said, and then took a look at the papers in her hands.

"Arigato." Kagome mumbled, and then noticed her father's glimpse.

"Oh, I forgot you value this crap more that me." Kazuki frowned at the undeserved and highly unexpected attack, and instinctively grabbed the paperwork Kagome had shoved in his hands.

"Kagome…" Sango whispered, covering her mouth with her hand. Higurashi sama really wasn't the man to deserve such a harsh reproach, but it was obvious that Kagome wasn't in the best of moods. And when that happened, everyone,_ everyone_ knew they should better stay away and just give her some space.

Kazuki narrowed his eyes.

"Will you step inside for a few minutes?" He turned halfway towards the open doors, and gestured to the office. Kagome shrugged her shoulders and walked inside, waving at Sango as she passed by her. Kazuki exchanged a confused look with his secretary, who simply widened her eyes and delicately shrugged herself.

The president of Higurashi Inc. closed the heavy doors behind him and headed for his chair, behind the mahogany desk. He leaned forward and eyed his daughter, who had an absent air to her, as if she wouldn't have cared about anything in the world.

"What happened?" Kazuki hissed and Kagome shrugged again, looking out the window. She was seated on the large chair in front of her father's desk.

"I brought you your report, I wrote my story… I'm back. That's all." she said flatly, without so much as glancing at her father. Kazuki had that look upon his face, like he smelled something rotten, but couldn't quite grasp it. He rubbed his beard and caught his chin, before talking to her again.

"And…?"

"And what? That's it." she looked at him with an annoyed expression, frowning and clenching her teeth.

"Look, Kazuki, I don't know what more do you want. I did it, now I'd like to go home if you don't mind. I'm really tired and I could use a break. I_ promise_ I'll be back here in a few days or so, so you can kill my patience and my youth with your demands for succession, but not now, alright?" Her attitude was really confusing. Where was the determined Kagome, who was excited about her work and who eluded all tasks that didn't suit her wishes? Higurashi sama realized he would have taken_ that_ Kagome over this one any day.

"What in the name of God happened to you back there? Kagome…"

She stood up and cut his sentence.

"Nothing, dad. I'm just tired. Please, leave me alone right now, I need to go home and… I just need to go home." she concluded, rubbing her forehead. She felt so beaten, and so weak that it scared her. This world didn't even seem real to her anymore, it was so different from everything she'd lived in these past weeks that her entire life felt like a lie.

Kazuki didn't buy it. But he knew that pushing Kagome to tell him something would only result in getting her angry, and getting them into a fight. _That_ he didn't want. So he swallowed his concern and allowed her to leave.

"See ya later." she said weakly while she exited his office, leaving Kazuki with a heavy heart and a suspicious feeling inside his chest. And he really didn't like what he was suspecting. His sigh told it all, although there was no one there to listen anymore.

'You left me all alone with her, my dear. You went away so early before your time and she's so lonely now…'

:---:

The doors closed with a click behind Kagome, who looked around the empty room and sighed. Inuyasha wasn't here yet. Of course, he wasn't back from that business trip he'd gone to. When was he to come back? She didn't know, and she didn't care. Or, maybe she was too tired to care, because she did love him, even if not like a lover anymore. She did love him.

Her head fell to her chest and Kagome dropped her keys on the wooden floor. A violent rumble filled her chest and the pain took over her. She wanted to scream it out, to cry it out, only if it was to get out of her somehow, but it didn't. She bit on her teeth and growled, she cried with hiccups, she clenched her fists so tight that she hurt herself… but the pain, the hollow pain inside her chest still wouldn't die. It wouldn't die, it wouldn't even dim…

"How could you…" she whispered, out of breath, as her tears dried on flushed cheeks, and dark strands of hair stuck to her skin. Kagome gathered herself from the floor and crashed on the bed. She didn't know how long it had been before she heard his deep voice, and felt his warm hand over her face.

"Kagome?" It took a few seconds for her to react, and open her eyes. A pair of gold eyes were watching her with concern, from the absolute darkness of the room. It was night time already…

"Yume-Kagome, you're back…" he caressed her cheek, and Kagome's breath sped up its pace, until she couldn't hold back her sobs, and she reached for him, catching his waist and holding him tight.

"Yume-Kagome… It's been so long since you've called me that, Inuyasha. So long…" She cried silently as Inuyasha embraced her, and kissed her hair.

"I've missed you." he said slowly, almost afraid of her reaction. He's talked to Kazuki on the phone, he knew something was wrong, but he was clueless as to what it could be. Even so, he had his suspicions, as did Kazuki, but neither of them dared to speak of it.

Kagome's sobs grew even more powerful, and she could barely speak.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Inuyasha. I've been so unjust with you, I don't deserve… I don't…" she choked on her words, but he didn't want her apology, he just wanted to know she was alright.

"Shush… Don't say that." he caressed her hair as she cried into his shirt, and he held her like that for as long as it took her to gain her composure. He was worried to death, and he was scared of how she felt. He'd never seen her so brought down, so shattered. But he stood by her, and he held her close, until Kagome raised her face to him.

"Yume-Kagome… what happened?" Inuyasha's husky voice was filled with that gentle feeling that always soothed her, which she loved so much in him, and she knew in that split second that he would have a place in her heart forever. Forever.

Kagome shook her head at the endearing name he'd given her a long… long time ago, and managed to sketch a smile. She touched his face, and sighed deeply.

"I've done it all wrong, Inuyasha. I've messed it up again. He… he didn't… he never…" her words broke into a helpless whimper, and Inuyasha frowned.

"It's alright, don't tell me if you can't. Just tell me what to do, what can I do for you?" Kagome looked into his golden eyes and saw Sesshoumaru's… she looked at his white shimmering hair and saw Sesshoumaru's… But the expression imprinted on Inuyasha's face was his own, and unmistakable. Sesshoumaru could never match that, ever.

"I don't know." she concluded heavily, and Inuyasha felt like a dagger had been plunged into his chest. Anything but those words. He felt helpless, facing her pain, the closed in way in which she was hurting, and he could see it tore her apart. And he could do nothing.

Her violet eyes were empty and he hated whoever had brought her in this miserable state… he had a suspicion that it could have been Sesshoumaru, and that made him even madder.

"Just let me stay with you for a while…" she whispered, and how could Inuyasha refuse? he laid down on their bed with Kagome in his arms, or better said with this broken shell of who his Yume-Kagome used to be. He hoped that she could find the power to get passed whatever had happened to her… power from within herself, or him. He needed her to be alright, he needed to know she was safe…

_Flashback_

"_Yume-Kagome, that's what you are…" he smiled at her, and Kagome laughed from behind her desk._

"_What?" light was dancing in her violet eyes and he knew he would love her all his life._

"_Yume-Kagome… You can't stop dreaming, that's who you are." She chuckled, and resumed her work. She still had to type some reviews, but Inuyasha's words were clear in her head, and she smiled the entire time through her work._

"_You're crazy.." she said, as she closed her laptop and stared into his eyes smiling._

"_Yeah… about some dreamer who barely acknowledges me…This is my life." Inuyasha responded. Kagome raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend._

"_Oh, you make me sound so cruel… You know I love you…"_

"… _even if I don't show it very often… I know…" he continued, imitating her voice._

"_Well, show it now." Kagome gave him a conspicuous look and went around her desk, walking towards Inuyasha, smiling all the way. She reached for him, grabbed the back of his neck and gave him a soft kiss that sent hot shivers through his body._

_End Flashback_

He asked himself when the shivers left him, only to be replaced with this strong affection… This affection, which although caused him to protect her, didn't resemble at all with what he used to feel for _Yume-Kagome_.

:---:


	16. and forth

Unliving

Chapter sixteen – … and forth

When Kagome opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Inuyasha's face. He was still asleep by her side, holding her hand and breathing shallowly. She looked at his peaceful face and wondered how they managed to screw up their relationship. There was a time when she loved him beyond belief. There used to be a time when Inuyasha loved her like a maniac, he couldn't have enough of her, and he seemed to breathe her as much as she did him. As Kagome looked at her former lover she saw that that time was forever gone. It was gone for a long time now.

And to make it even worse, she'd been with someone else already. But, no, she didn't regret it; she would never regret it, because there was simply no point in doing so. Why? Sesshoumaru had given her maybe the most exciting few weeks of her life. And even if only for one night, he'd given himself to her. That was a memory she wanted to hold on to.

Inuyasha's eyes slowly opened to Kagome's sad face, and she didn't even realize he was watching her.

"Yume?" Kagome focused her eyes on him, and she smiled a little. He would always call her by that silly name!

"It's all so stupid, Inuyasha…" she said, and he thought he'd never heard such strange morning words in his entire life. But then, she was Kagome, and there was nothing ordinary about her.

"Tell me." he whispered, his voice a little husky, and his gold eyes half open. Kagome caressed his cheek.

"Where is our love, Inuyasha? What did it turn into?" He closed his eyes for a second, and took a deep breath. He knew it was coming, this talk, but he'd hoped it wouldn't hurt this much. So he just raised his eyebrows for a moment and kissed her on her forehead.

"I don't know, Yume. But I'll always care for you, you have to know that." Kagome's eyes filled with tears. She felt like she'd lost them both now.

"Sure I do, and you'll be here forever, Inuyasha." she placed a hand on her own chest, as she fought to keep her cheeks dry. But sadly she couldn't.

"Don't cry, Yume." he said, and embraced her limp body. Kagome fell against his chest and welcomed the comforting, hiding her face into his clothes. She cried silently, but this time it was of relief. She'd never wanted to hurt Inuyasha; she'd never wanted to hurt Sesshoumaru… but what of herself? When would the hurting stop for her? Inuyasha's embrace felt warm and soft, and she could feel him forgiving her for who she was, for all her weird behavior, for her temperamental outbursts, for her selfishness… And she felt small, insignificant in comparison to him.

She took in a deep breath, and parted from him, wiping her face clean.

"Okay, enough." she said.

"This is just… enough." Kagome concluded, very decided. It wasn't quite like her to mope around like that, and she figured nobody liked a whiner. She didn't want to be a burden for Inuyasha. So she collected her strength and smiled at him.

"Thank you." He stood up on one elbow and smiled back.

"No problem. When you wanna break up next time… I'm here." They both smiled, a little bit forcefully, but that would pass… they hoped.

Inuyasha stood up and gave her a mindful look.

"You okay?" he seemed worried about her despite her smile. Kagome sat up and nodded.

"I will be." the look about her was off, Inuyasha thought, as if she were in a bigger trouble than her usual troublesome career requested of her. But he wasn't a pusher. She would tell him. After all they were friends now… He smiled sadly at the thought. This new status was too weird, although it wasn't really new. Maybe just realizing it made all the difference.

"I'm gonna go wash up." he said, and Kagome nodded silently, stretching her arms above her head. She felt somehow better. Somehow. She still couldn't forget about him though, and she doubted she would ever be able to. Mostly because she was convinced she wasn't supposed to, and that she didn't even want to. She still wanted to save Sesshoumaru, the immortal, the distant, the cold vampire who's just appeared into her life out of the blue. She loved him, there was no question about that. Was her love so insignificant that it couldn't save him?

Kagome tried to ignore the Prophecy, and searched for some other way to help him. There had to be… She would have gone through with that damned _die-revive-die-revive_ thing, if he would have asked her to. But he hadn't, because he didn't love her. He didn't care enough, and it wouldn't have worked… It wouldn't… Kagome froze, as her mind cleared all of a sudden. It was so like her to think fast, then settle down and think it over again, only to come to a completely different outcome.

His cold stance, the way he refused to talk to her, to even consider her love, her feelings… She knew he couldn't be this cold, this uncaring, he'd proven it to her on so many occasions, he had to be feeling something for her, and she would be damned if that something was not love. She simply refused to think he felt nothing. He wasn't entirely dead, after all!

No, Sesshoumaru drove her away because he loved her, not because he didn't at all. Kagome shook her head, and grew more and more convinced that she was right. She shouldn't have left. Or, maybe it was a right call after all, because now she knew where she stood with Inuyasha.

"Uh!" she sighed and caught her temples. She had to go back… but, how will she explain it to everyone? Then again, why should she explain anything? She'll just tell Inuyasha where she's going, and then call her boss at the magazine to ask for some days off. Or, more like say she's leaving for a few days…

Once her mind made up, she couldn't sit still. She jumped out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. She bumped into Inuyasha on the way, and he was amazed at how different she looked.

"Kagome?"

"I'm going back." she said, her face all shiny and determined. He knew that look. It was the look that said she didn't accept "no" for an answer. Sesshoumaru was in big trouble, whatever their unsolved business was. Inuyasha smiled in the corner of his mouth.

"You do that." Kagome returned his smile, and kissed him fleetingly on the lips.

"Baka!" she whispered as she entered the bathroom, and Inuyasha resumed his previous thought: Sesshoumaru was in big trouble.

:---:

"But, honey you just came back from England, can't you just…" the high pitched, feminine voice rang in Kagome's ear, but she neither had the time nor the patience to explain, or even give a proper apology for her sudden departure. Her boss was all to annoying as it was!

"No, this is urgent. I'm sorry, but it cannot wait. I'll talk to you in a few days… or so."

"Or so?!? Kagome..."

"Ja-ne!" Kagome said and hung up the phone, taking in a deep breath. The airport was crowded, but she really didn't care. She just had to reach Muncaster faster.

'I'm coming back, you cold hearted bastard, and this time you'll have to do better than _I don't love you_!' she thought, and her heart picked up pace. Sesshoumaru's face swam around in her head, and she knew she wasn't ready to give up on him just yet. Maybe he didn't believe in himself, or her, but she had faith enough for both of them. She was sure she did, and he couldn't escape this time.

Kagome frowned as she sat on her seat in the plane, and thought about dying. And then coming back… because he _will_ bring her back. Because the damn bastard loved her, and there was nothing that could convince her otherwise.

:---:

Sabrya stood in the middle on the large living room, staring at her boss. Sesshoumaru was calm as always. One wouldn't have said that he'd just asked his personal assistant to arrange his departure.

"Would you please repeat that, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"What was not clear, Sabrya? I am leaving Muncaster for a while. I will be traveling for a while; this place begins to tire me."

The few days since Kagome had left had been agonizing. Every corner of the castle cried out her presence… or the lack of it. Sesshoumaru felt like he would go crazy if he was to see this woman's ghost one more time, at the table beside him, in the armory room holding his sword with her thin hands, in the dining room drinking from that glass of wine… in the bed, her dark hair spread over the crimson sheets, and her violet eyes piercing through his skin, digging into his soul, ripping him apart. He _had_ to leave.

"Make it as fast as you can. Somewhere cold, a northern country maybe, or even Alaska. I do not care." he made a gesture with his hand that stated what he had just said. Sabrya could tell he really did not care where he was going.

"Of course, Lord Sesshoumaru. It will be done as you wish." she bowed and turned swiftly on her toes, in that practiced move she had perfected over the years. Her Lord had no patience for delays, and she was efficient, fast in her actions and witty. She was the perfect assistant for him.

For a few years, when she'd first come to work for the exigent Lord, Sabrya had thought, hoped that she could become more to him. She remembered how she tried to gain his affection, and a sad smile appeared upon her perfect features, disturbing their calm. She had come to the conclusion she wasn't fit to smile, she looked awful. Her face was still, and it looked perfect that way. She didn't need to smile, nor did she have any good reason to. Of course, she would indulge in a polite conversation, but she never knew how much joy to show, or how much caring, interest, and she felt like she failed miserably every time. Either that she was too distant, or too joyful.

Resuming her previous track of thoughts, Sabrya took a turn to her own office in the castle, and began to search for soon departures to northern countries. She'd pictured Finland or Norway… she wasn't gonna send him to Alaska, although he wouldn't have cared anyway, by the looks of him.

As she made the last hour reservations on the phone, she again concluded that being who he was, Lord Sesshoumaru would always have a place somewhere, actually everywhere as it turned out. She'd made the reservations for the flight and the hotel with only a few hours in advance, which would probably be impossible for any other person. Sesshoumaru-sama had a place everywhere… she thought, and rested her chin in the palm of her hand, as she looked over the route.

'But what about a home?' Sabrya questioned herself. The last few weeks, since that human woman had arrived at Muncaster, had been somewhat strange, seeing as her Lord was occupying an awful lot of time with her, and sometimes in the detriment of his business. Sabrya knew of his peculiar nature, she knew that he could suddenly take interest in all sorts of things, but she'd never seen him so drawn by a woman. Women had never been one of his vices.

Come to think of it, he only had one flaw, and that one he couldn't help. Sabrya had often found herself hating whoever it had turned Sesshoumaru into that horrible creature and cursed him to such an ingrate and undignified life for a taiyoukai. She'd never told him she knew of his curse, but she knew for quite some time now, ever since that shelf in the library shifted under her weight and she'd found The Book of Nod. It didn't take her that long to figure it out, and her suspicions had been proven correct when one time Sesshoumaru appeared to be hurt by the mere appearance of the sun, one morning.

She could clearly remember how he frowned, and sat up from the desk, not even allowing her to finish her last report for the night, excusing himself very politely – he was always flawless in his manners - and leaving.

Sabrya had never even thought about asking him about this, she was not going to invade his life like that, and she was often grateful she got the chance to just talk to her Lord. The many years since she'd begun her service had taught her some things about Sesshoumaru-sama. First, he was very powerful, but in more ways than most would imagine. The extent of his power laid deep within his nature, his mind and spirit. The young hanyou woman knew he would eventually find a way to escape this curse. Secondly, he was very lonely. Again, there was far more to his solitude than just arrogance. Sure, he was arrogant most of the times, and he could hurt feelings to the point of no return without even flapping an eyelash, and without remorse, but he was fair, and nobody got a punishment they didn't deserve, from him.

She had to admit, maybe he did exaggerate sometimes… but even Sesshoumaru couldn't presume to be perfect… even if he really did. Sabrya smiled, and was very surprised by it. She sighed, and resumed her work, arranging his departure. She'd given orders for his luggage to be taken care of, and she trusted that all would be in order in an hour or so. The plane was scheduled to take off in two hours, so they were running against time. It was a little past seven, but the sky was dark and clouded as if the middle of the night would have knocked on their door. Sabrya shook off the eerie feeling she got from the trees bending outside, under the wind's violent blows.

:---:

Only half an hour later, Sesshoumaru received Sabrya's confirmation of his plans, and the information that he was flying to Finland. He's been there before on several occasions, and he knew his way around Helsinki. It would be a good this to leave, he tried to convince himself. Alexis was, as far as he knew, still in his immediate proximity, and Sesshoumaru didn't care to fight against him anymore. He didn't care for anything, truth be told. He just wanted some peace, and since he could apparently have none in his own haven, he'd decided to find it someplace else.

A knock on the door made him turn from the window, as he gave permission to enter. Ethan stood in the doorframe, giving a bow, then announcing with his usual solemn tone:

"Sir Alexis asks to see you, Lord Sesshoumaru." The white haired demon frowned, but decided to talk with Alexis after all; making a promise to himself that he would keep it concise.

So he just nodded to his employee, saying nothing. Ethan backed away, and a minute later returned with Alexis. The door closed silently behind the green eyed vampire, who simply stared at Sesshoumaru for a few seconds, before even nodding slightly to him. Sesshoumaru could sense some amount of hostility in Alexis' stare, and he would have none of the vampire's scenes tonight. Tonight he would leave this place.

"Good evening." Alexis said, seeing as Sesshoumaru refused to be the one to start the conversation. He was rarely in that position. As a response Alexis, got a nod, and a narrowing of Sesshoumaru's golden eyes. The youkai knew this would bring nothing good, and a strange spark in his Sire's eyes confirmed his suspicions. Nonetheless, he waited. Patience wasn't one of his virtues although his indifference was often mistaken by it, but it was sometimes necessary.

"I see you are leaving." Alexis stepped closer to Sesshoumaru, who had his hands behind his back, in a calm but still imposing manner. His chin was slightly lifted, as it always was, giving him that arrogant look, a look enhanced by the immobility of his face and his aristocratic features. Sesshoumaru had been born royalty, and it showed through his every pore.

"I am." he decided to answer, but made no other attempt at engaging into a conversation with Alexis. The latter almost rolled his eyes back. Instead he tensed and felt anger sting at his nerves. Alexis had always been easy to provoke. He was too susceptible of giving in to his emotions, which was an uncharacteristic feature for a vampire. Sesshoumaru had asked himself an several occasions how the beautiful kindred managed to live this long, because Alexis was at least 1000 years old, as far as he knew, maybe even older. And yet, he still moved around in high circles, as opposed to the other vampires of his age, who preferred to seal themselves out of their people's sight, and seemingly indulge in bloody acts which lengthened their lives at the expense of their humanity.

Very old vampires were rumored to be using their childer to feed, practically absorbing all the childer's blood which was definitely against one of the Traditions, and to draw power from their bodies. Often, childer of an elder were forced to drink their Sire's blood on regular bases, thus turning them into slaves, due to the blood bond between the two. The elders were paranoid when it came to their rank, status in the society and they were constantly under the impression than one of his childer seeks his status. Alexis wasn't like that at all, although Sesshoumaru knew for a fact that the green eyed kindred now standing before him had other childer beside himself. He was wondering why Alexis had grown so fond of him, but decided it was not the time to think about that.

"Why have you come, Alexis?" Sesshoumaru asked slowly, his voice as steadfast as his stance. Alexis shook his head, walking to his childe and stopping only when Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed in an obvious warning not to come closer.

"I heard you were all alone for a few days. Did the human finally die? Or did you Embrace her and you keep her out of sight?" Sesshoumaru couldn't tell if Alexis wanted the first to happen more that the latter. Either suited him, come to think of it, but the gold eyes didn't shift from their menacing expression. Alexis smiled, shadows lingering on his beautiful face revealing his cruel nature. Sesshoumaru was getting ready to cut this meeting short, when Alexis said:

"I think neither, my dear Sesshoumaru." The spark inside his evil stare made the demon clench his teeth.

"You broke the First Tradition, Sesshoumaru. What do you think our Prince would say about that? A kine is out there, knowing everything…"

"What do you want, Alexis?" Sesshoumaru cut his sentence, knowing that Alexis couldn't care less about the fact that Kagome knew about the vampires. He was far too selfish and guarded to care. The demon was right, his Sire did want something.

"How much do you value your life, Sesshoumaru?" Alexis asked, crossing his arms over his chest and shifting his weight on one leg. Sesshoumaru didn't answer right away, but dug his stare into those poisonous eyes.

"Not much, apparently." the youkai answered, knowing that Alexis had sensed this, anyway. The older vampire took another step, and Sesshoumaru raised his chin a little, but didn't back away. Alexis traced his clawed index finger down Sesshoumaru's throat, looking deploy into his eyes.

"I cannot believe you love her." Alexis said, after a long silent moment in which the depths of his childe's eyes had screamed the truth at him.

"I believe that is your own problem. My business is my own." Sesshoumaru replied coldly, trying not to start Alexis' rage. He knew who would come to suffer from this, and he had no intention of allowing any of it to happen. He would have to break another Tradition before he would see Kagome killed by his Sire. Nevertheless, he did not want another vampire's blood on his hands. He'd done enough killing already. Enough.

"Will I have to ask again, before you answer, Alexis? Why have you come?" Alexis stared at Sesshoumaru's mouth for a few seconds, in which the demon almost feared an outburst. His Sire would always start by trying to manipulate him, to convince him into another kiss, but without being disgusted by the thought, Sesshoumaru didn't love Alexis. Not in that way, not in any other way. He couldn't even pity him. He4 didn't know exactly what it was he felt for Alexis, but this was a bad time to ponder over a thing like this.

"I thought maybe you wanted to see me before you left, and before I left as well. I came to say goodbye." Alexis said, his calm voice somewhat surprising Sesshoumaru. Alexis rested his palm on the youkai's chest, tilting his head to one side.

"Are you going after her?" Sesshoumaru huffed on his nose. So this was his real question.

"No." Alexis was a little drawn back by this answer. He licked his lips and formed a shadowy smile with his lips.

"Do you not love her?" Sesshoumaru pressed his lips together, the only sign he showed that he was disturbed by the direction the conversation was going in. It was a subject he didn't care to get into with Alexis… or any other person.

"Is that what you meant to ask me, Alexis? Or was it: do I love_ you_ less that I love her?" Sesshoumaru's hand reached for the other vampire's palm and removed it from his chest. He didn't enjoy being touched. Alexis laughed nervously.

"Indeed, you always could read me, Sesshoumaru."

"It does not take much to read you, when it comes to your feelings towards me, Alexis."

"Of course. You should know." Alexis looked down at the floor, making Sesshoumaru wonder what he was thinking. He looked almost normal… like a human. A rejected human, who'd come to terms with his defeat. It was awkward; Alexis never cared to admit defeat.

"Have a safe trip, Sesshoumaru. I'll love you when you come back, as well. I trust you know this." His face was clear of any evil intent and his scent as well. Sesshoumaru thought he was being sincere. Alexis turned to leave, but Sesshoumaru had a twinge of heart at his last words.

"Wait." the demon said, as Alexis turned his back. The vampire looked the demon in the eye, smiling weakly, but with intent.

"Why?" Sesshoumaru asked, and Alexis frowned a little.

"Why do I love you?" the vampire raised his eyebrows and turned around again, facing his childe. Sesshoumaru nodded, not moving from his place. He was curious, now that Alexis seemed to let his guard down a little. He was curious why did he love him, why did _Kagome_ love him? What was in him desirable, that another would love him for? Sesshoumaru could never understand why others found him attractive, he thought that the way he looked had something to do with it, but that didn't make sense, since he was aware of the fact that his personality was meant to discourage any further attempt to gain his affection.

He was always throwing judgment, he was arrogant, he knew it, he talked less than it was requested in order to be considered a pleasant company, and he always had a sarcastic and cutting reply at hand. His looks couldn't possibly make up for all that! It's not like he hated who he was, he was quite content with it actually, but that was just because he couldn't care less about the fact that he hurt others so often. Another wave in his personality less that agreeable to people… in general.

"Don't you know?" Alexis continued his ghostly smile. Sesshoumaru didn't think this question was meant to be answered.

"You're nothing like me, Sesshoumaru. So wise, and yet so naïve. So old and yet so young… So strong and yet… Tell me, how long before you will rid yourself of this weakness? Until this human woman dies? I would kill her if that would make you stronger, Sesshoumaru. But it won't. Neither her death, nor her life will strengthen you. Both hurt you constantly, equally and unwaveringly. Can you not see?" Alexis passed his fingers through Sesshoumaru's white tresses.

"You've ran from this so long, and now that you've realized your mistake, it is too late. I want to love you, I want to be with you because you are so different" his hand traced Sesshoumaru's still lips, and his chin "… because you are so beautiful it hurts to look at you, because you are the only one that's ever made me think twice… Because when I'm with you, I am better." Alexis came closer, but Sesshoumaru didn't make any gesture to stop him or to back away. So the Sire kissed his childe on the corner of his perfect mouth, as his heart bled at the stillness of Sesshoumaru's body. Alexis would have given anything in this world for the beautiful Lord to kiss him back, by his own choice. But Sesshoumaru never did, not ever, and especially not now that he loved that woman.

Alexis rested his forehead against Sesshoumaru's, whose gold eyes were half shut with sorrow. Alexis shivered once, strongly, and closed his arms around Sesshoumaru's form. The demon thought his Sire was crying, but his reason rejected this thought. Still, he stuck his fingers into Alexis' long thick hair, and his other arm came to rest on the vampire's back. This embrace was a little more than Sesshoumaru would have thought to be proper, but Alexis seemed very distressed, and Sesshoumaru knew nothing but this would soothe him. It was just a fool's play though, because the Lord had no intention of going any further with it.

Just as Sesshoumaru began to part from him, Alexis searched for his mouth, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. His entire body craved for this kiss, the kiss that Sesshoumaru had never given him freely. The Lord backed a little, but Alexis stuck his claws in the back of his neck, moaning silently. Alexis whispered, fire raging out of his words.

"You never loved me." Sesshoumaru felt something break inside himself, like a mirror falling onto concrete, and shattering into millions of bits and pieces. Alexis' pain was real, his love was real, and Sesshoumaru didn't know how to react to it.

"I never pretended to." he finally said. Alexis let his mind scream at him, let his rage slip away, and passed his fingers over Sesshoumaru's mouth. His green eyes made a powerful contrast with the black hair over his face, and the Lord found himself staring at those green depths, without even knowing why. He stared more and more avidly, losing the track of time, losing his will and his words inside those eyes.

"Love me, Sesshoumaru." Alexis whispered, over the demon's lips. Sesshoumaru heard a far cry inside his mind, a sorrow coming from somewhere far away and tearing at him not to give in. He couldn't understand it, but something drew him back. Alexis was looking into his eyes, and it burnt him, it called to him to do as his Sire asked. Love him… but how? A feeling wasn't born like this! He couldn't simply will himself into loving Alexis.

"Kiss me." the words made Sesshoumaru want to follow the order, they made him want it, although in some amount, he knew he hadn't before. He realized what Alexis was trying to do, and didn't break eye contact, but he didn't show he'd realized it either.

Slowly, he raised Alexis' chin, catching his jaw with his fingers. He passed his thumb over the full lips, and closed the distance, licking Alexis' mouth slowly, with the tip of his tongue. The older vampire shivered under Sesshoumaru's touch, but remained still. Sesshoumaru caught his lips gradually, and slid his tongue inside Alexis' mouth rapidly, pulling the vampire towards him almost violently. Alexis whimpered at the sudden movement, but responded to the kiss. It was all he wanted. Finally, Sesshoumaru had given into his wish.

But as he pulled back, Sesshoumaru whispered over Alexis' mouth:

"Don't you dare hurt her." The bees stung at Alexis' heart as he saw how much his childe cared for a human. A vessel, nothing more. Alexis pushed Sesshoumaru back and licked his lips.

"I'll try." he answered, as his mind was racing. He wanted to find some way to get rid of the woman without Sesshoumaru realizing it had been him the one who killed her. For now, Alexis was content with the improvement in Sesshoumaru's attitude. He had a pot to build from. Maybe Kagome wasn't useless, after all. She could be the point zero for his relationship with Sesshoumaru. Maybe. The vampire saw hope for his dreams, and smiled. Sesshoumaru, however, still had a firm grip on his neck, and was waiting for a suitable answer.

"Alright. I won't kill her." Alexis said, and Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. Again, that awkward feeling that Alexis was being sincere.

'Strange.' Sesshoumaru thought, as he let go of his Sire. He didn't have a choice but to take Alexis' word for it, but he decided to keep an eye on Kagome anyway, at least for the time it took her to lose interest in him, for as long as it took her to forget Sesshoumaru-sama, the one who knocked her life upside down. Sesshoumaru almost hoped that time would come soon, for her sake.

Alexis backed away from Sesshoumaru and nodded.

"Goodbye for now." Sesshoumaru didn't answer, so the dark haired vampire turned and left. The silence behind him fell heavy on Sesshoumaru's heart. He thought about the reason of that kiss. He'd kissed Alexis again, more or less against his wish. Did he pity his Sire? Had that been the reason? Did he want a guarantee that Kagome will be safe, and so he manipulated Alexis? Sesshoumaru didn't know. Maybe a little of both.

He closed his eyes and turned to the window, his head downcast. As he looked outside, he felt the sudden urge to see her face again. To hear her voice. To smell her tears, anything if that meant she was here. But she was gone, and it had been he who drove her away.

"All for the best." he said to himself, and leaned against the window frame, his forehead caught in his palm.

"We must leave, Sesshoumaru-sama." Sabrya's clear voice came from the open door. Sesshoumaru nodded without eying the young hanyou woman.

"Of course." he whispered, so silently that Sabrya couldn't catch his words. But she did catch the sad look in his eyes as he passed by her and into Muncaster's dark hallway. His shoulders weren't as stiff; his head wasn't as high up as always, and his walk not as determined.

Sabrya wanted to tear these people to shreds. They pretended to love him, but they only killed him little by little. Sesshoumaru's life was a constant torment due to this woman and now this… man. She had the impression Alexis was a vampire as well.

As she drove the car to the airport, Sabrya snuck peeks in the rearview mirror at the silent Lord, who hadn't said a word since he'd exited the castle. She hated the expression on his face. He was sad; he was brought down and tired. She could cry because of how he felt like. But he never said a word.

The car sped up on the road, and the rain began to pour down ahead of them, hitting the windshield with rage. Sesshoumaru's eyes were focused ahead, but he saw nothing, and heard nothing on the stormy night.

:---:


	17. With and without remorse

Unliving

Chapter seventeen – With and without remorse

Kagome arrived on the airport in Blackpool on a stormy night, at nine pm. Her luggage was almost nonexistent; she was only carrying her huge bag, not even her laptop, which was indeed something. As she walked out of the boarding tunnel, her head turned from one side to another, wondering how she will manage to get as far as Muncaster. This time, there was no one to wait for her; there was no one who knew she was coming. She almost tripped on an old woman's luggage, as she was searching with her eyes for someone to guide her, maybe some cab driver, she really didn't know. Although she did know how to get there, there was really no point in attempting such a thing by foot, it was raining like hell outside, and the wind was blowing with such strength that it scared her.

"Excuse me…" Kagome started, talking to a clerk from the Information desk "… could you please tell me how can I get to Muncaster?" She waited, wide-eyed, looking at the brown haired woman, but she didn't seem to understand Kagome's words. So the journalist asked again.

"I said…"

"I heard you, Miss." the woman finally responded.

"But why would you want to go there?" she seemed very puzzled. Kagome frowned and decided that these people were too accustomed to knowing everybody else's business.

"I think that's my concern, right? Is there any kind of taxi that could drive me there, or…?" Kagome said, getting a little aggravated. This woman was toying with her precious time, and she had none to lose.

"Yes, any taxi outside the airport, but I doubt anyone would agree to take you there." Kagome rolled her eyes.

"That's what I'm saying. I know it's far away and secluded, that's why I'm…" her words were cut short by a blonde apparition that Kagome saw with the corner of her eye. She turned around fast, to catch that person who she knew would help her purpose.

"Sabrya…" Kagome whispered, her eyes running wildly from one person to another, searching for the blonde head she'd just seen. But Sabrya was nowhere to be found. The desk clerk tried to say something, but Kagome just waved her off, and walked away, leaving the woman in the dark.

"I know I saw her, it was her…" Kagome was talking to herself, drawing curious looks from some of the people that passed by her. She didn't care, she had to find Sabrya. In a moment of brightness, she headed outside, where she knew she should find that black Rolls Royce. Before she could get wet by the raindrops, she eyed the imposing car and waited for the driver to return. Her heart was beating out of her chest, as she knew Sabrya would come any moment now. Kagome was anxious, like she hadn't been in her entire life. She was going to see him in an hour, tops.

The blonde hanyou walked towards the car, with a large umbrella over her head, and was getting ready to open the door, when a hand grabbed her by the shoulder. Almost astounded, Sabrya turned around to see a woman's wet face and her trembling figure in the rain. The hanyou instinctively extended her arm to cover this crazy woman too, so that she wouldn't get even more drenched. It took Sabrya a minute to recognize her, seeing as the woman was rambling about something she couldn't make out.

"Miss Higurashi?" Kagome's eyes lit up and she smiled, water dripping off her chin, and her jeans completely wet. She was cold as hell, and shivering, but it didn't matter, she had to get to him, she _had_ to see Sesshoumaru.

"Yes, Sabrya, yes, I have to…"

"What are you doing here? I thought you left…"

"I have to see him, Sabrya, please take me to Muncaster." Sabrya frowned and shook her head.

"Lord Sesshoumaru is not there anymore." she said, and her clear voice sounded like an explosion inside Kagome's head.

"What?" she embraced her own waist, wishing she would stop shivering, as trails of water made their way down her clothes.

"Where is he?" she couldn't believe this, it wasn't happening!

"He left just now. You should really leave him be, Miss Higurashi, you don't know how…" Kagome didn't wait for the woman to finish. She grabbed her shoulders and shook her a few times strongly. Sabrya dropped her umbrella, and they both fell victim to the pouring rain, both being wet in a matter of seconds. Kagome didn't care though.

"No, _you_ don't know! I have to see him, he has to know…. Where? What gate?" her violet eyes were dark now and Sabrya had never seen such determination with anyone, in her entire life. This woman was almost hysterical.

"No, leave him alone, you've done enough harm." the blonde woman said, with some resent. Kagome bit on her teeth not to slap her.

"Tell me Sabrya, tell me or by God I'll track him down no matter how long it takes. He loves me; he _has_ to listen to me!" Sabrya dreaded this fact, and couldn't deny the truth. She knew her Lord was in love with this human, as improbable as it might have seemed to anyone.

"That's just why he's leaving, because he loves you and you…" Sabrya looked at her feet, shaking her head. People passed by them and gave them strange looks, of concern and curiosity. Some of them knew who Sabrya was, but they didn't know Kagome, and so they realized the two women argued about Lord Sesshoumaru. Kagome shook Sabrya's shoulders again.

"I love him too, Sabrya. I swear I do, let me talk to him, please…" she forced the hanyou to look her in the eyes, to see she was being sincere. All her desperation was there, inside those eyes. Sabrya closed hers for a second, and then whispered:

"Gate twelve." Kagome let go of her in that very instant, mumbling a "thank you" to the young woman, and ran inside the crowded airport, in the wrong lane, pushing people out of her way, and scared as hell that she could have arrived too late. She heard the boarding call for all those planes, and she wondered which was his. Finally, she heard that the passengers for Helsinki were being boarded at gate twelve. Luckily, it wasn't the last call, and she sped up as best she could, with all the people pushing her out of the way.

The last call was being broadcasted as she reached the gate, soaked in rain water, and with her lungs aching. She looked awful, with her hair wet and stuck to her face and scalp, her clothes as dripping with rain water, and wheezing as she was breathing.

"Wait, wait! I have to…" she stretched her arm to the flight attendant, and the woman smiled at her, confused.

"Miss? Are you alright?"

"No…" Kagome whispered, as she was struggling to catch her breath "… I have to…. get on board…" she managed to say.

"Do you have a ticket?" the young woman asked, rather insecure. She probably had a suspicion that the wild woman before her didn't have a ticket. So she looked at Kagome with kindness, from under her eyebrows, as the Japanese girl bent and grabbed her chest to stop the wheezing in her breath.

"No, but I have to…" Kagome's eyes all but cried out her desperation. The woman smiled at her, and helped her up.

"Let me guess, _he_ is in there, right?" the woman saw this situation as a very romantic one, just like in the movies, and figured Kagome couldn't run like that for someone other than her lover. She'd assumed correctly.

"Yes! Please!" Kagome said, in relief, all her pain forgotten and her eyes sparkling with hope.

"Well, let's see what we can do."

"Really?" Kagome smiled as the woman walked before her through the tunnel, and in a few seconds she was boarded. The flight attendant looked at her attentively, as the violet eyes searched for her loved one. A gentle smile lit the young woman's face, as she whispered to the other fight attendant this exotic girl's request, and they both ended up smiling. The women were local, and they were squirming with curiosity as to who the girl's lover was, it was all very exciting to them. Of course, as Kagome widened her beautiful eyes and walked to the business class chair, they both thought this girl must have been crazy. It couldn't be _him_!

"Sesshoumaru!" her soft, breathless voice broke the silence in the small room, and the Lord turned his gold eyes to the sound. The flight attendants followed Kagome at a respectful distance, and stopped to take in the view. A soaked woman was knelt at the Lord's feet, with her head on his knees, saying the most unusual words.

"You idiot! How could you lie to me like that, I can't believe you just…" She raised her face to him. Sesshoumaru couldn't react, he was simply astonished by her presence here, and looking the way she did. He helped her up and stood himself, cupping her cheeks in his palms and wiping them dry with his thumbs.

"What did you do, Kagome?" he said and she could cry hearing his soft voice, filled with what she knew was worry, and love. She _knew_, no matter what anyone said.

"I came to see you, you arrogant jerk, and to tell you that you can't fool me like a kindergarten child. I know who you are, and I know you love me. So don't push me away, dammit! Don't push me away!" Sesshoumaru stared into her violet eyes and couldn't believe she'd come this far just to tell him this… and almost missed him. It was really impressive; no one had done anything quite like that for him before.

"You will catch your death." he said, not without some amount of emotion in his voice, as he cleared her face of the wet strands. Kagome smiled just for a second.

"I hope so. You can undo that, you know." she said, and felt how his surprise sprung up. His golden eyes widened and he just stared at her for some seconds, before looking away and whispering.

"You first." Kagome let out a fast breath and jumped to embrace him. Sesshoumaru stiffened as her cold arms went around his neck, and he took in her rainy scent. He could feel her wet hair on his cheek, and her body pressing against his. Kagome had come back, but he didn't know if he was worth what she was willing to give up for him.

"Don't just stand there…" she mumbled into his shoulder, barely holding her ground as she stood up on her toes to level with the tall Lord. Sesshoumaru slowly moved his arms to answer her embrace and as he closed his arms around her waist and back, Kagome tightened her grip, sinking even further into him.

"Jerk." she said softly, like it would have been some endearing word. Kagome then laughed out nervously, and let go of him. She narrowed her eyes and sunk her gaze into his.

"So are you gonna kill me or what?" Sesshoumaru widened his eyes and, for the first time in his entire life, he blushed. People were looking at them like they were mad, quite a few whispering stuff that she couldn't make out. But Sesshoumaru could, and by the looks of him, they weren't pretty stuff. He felt a little embarrassed, and maybe exposed, due to her unthought-of comment.

"We would best go home, Kagome." he said, letting go of her waist, and nodding to the flight attendant who'd brought Kagome on board, signaling that he could get off the plane so that it could finally take off. This entire thing had delayed the take off for a few minutes as it was.

Kagome didn't really care about any of that. As long as she was with him, and he was in one piece, she was happy. That would have explained the sudden blindness to those intrusive looks the passengers were giving her, after the last line she'd said.

:---:

He knew there was nothing there for him anymore, and still Alexis couldn't bring himself to leave the inn. He was too close to Sesshoumaru, too close to just turn away and leave all those feelings behind. He exited the room and wandered about the small village, until he could sense clearly just what it had been that draught him out. Sesshoumaru, as always. His presence was imprinted in Alexis' flesh, in his mind, the Lord's golden stare was there, in the back of Alexis' head, and he couldn't be rid of it, even if he wanted to.

The vampire knew all to well that this obsession wasn't even remotely connected to love. It was something higher that that, and for this reason he couldn't figure out why Sesshoumaru would reject it. But his childe had always been different, and there was no point in trying to force him into anything. Sesshoumaru would only grow bitter and cold.

Alexis sighed, looking up at the full moon. A few clouds were staining the sky in that particular area, and the moon was half covered. But Alexis knew it was full, by the howl he'd heard earlier in the night. One was reaching his sensitive hearing now, and the vampire was wondering why the werewolves would start another war at this time. Maybe their society had been shaken by some fight for power, as was the Kindred's, quite often. But the vampires would always choose lies and treachery to get to their purposes, as opposed to the werewolves, who were feral, untamed creatures.

They were vicious predators, and enjoyed the blood spill to a level even Alexis couldn't understand. And during his very long life, he'd done some atrocious acts that even he didn't care to remember. What was worse, he'd done them willingly, not submitting to any rule written or otherwise. He could remember numerous times when he'd left his vessels to bleed to death before his eyes, after he's used them to his satisfaction. He hadn't even been hungry. He'd just punctured their jugular, drank an insignificant amount of blood, then looked into their eyes and induced a state similar to a paralysis. The women had been aware they were going to die from blood loss, and he rejoiced the terrified and helpless look inside their eyes.

No human could resist him, no one. He wouldn't have it any other way. If he couldn't draw them away to feast on their vitae, he would force them. They all gave in eventually. They all wanted it, he could see the desire in their eyes, he could smell it on their skin. And it disgusted him. Every time, he would punish them for being just some other human whore. Giving into his needs was the equivalent of spreading their legs to any human man.

He was getting sick to his stomach even _thinking_ of human women, not to mention touching them. They were only good for one thing: vessels. Nothing more, because they could never be anything more. He had realized this for some hundred years now, which was fairly late, but better late than never.

As he walked along the side of the road in the middle of the night, Alexis began to trail off, and cut the distance to Muncaster across the plain. It was very cold, and the air was sprayed with water. The humidity annoyed the vampire, who felt it creeping inside his clothing. He wore a long leather coat which reached to his knees, dark blue pants and a black sweater. His black hair was tied down, but the wind was constantly toying with it, throwing strands over his shoulder.

Alexis stopped in the middle of the field and raised his nose in the air. A slight movement was constant in the distance. The air had something off about it, and the vampire grinned, making a round movement with his head, until he was looking from under his eyebrows at the form making its way across the dead plain. The ground was cold and moist from all the rain in the past weeks. Alexis licked the corner of his upper lip with the tip of his tongue, and flexed his fingers, as the claws grew.

He wanted blood. He craved it, he could almost smell it, could almost taste it, and he didn't care where it came from, as long as it was crimson, and filled with pain. He got a shiver as he recalled the feeling of blood speckles across his cold cheek. That creature was dead, with no other right before him. It was _prey_.

Alexis arched his back for a second, and then sprung forward, tensing every muscle in his slender body. His enemies had died of horrible deaths because they had underestimated that body, and Alexis stood above them every time, smiling as the life or _unlife_ slipped away from their flesh. Just toys… They were all toys for his amusement, and for his revenge against their very nature.

The approaching danger made the werewolf stop in his track. He hadn't noticed the vampire, but he could smell him now, that the direction of the wind had changed. He was coming up fast, and the werewolf was wondering what kind of mad Kindred would take one of his kind head on, by choice. He was going to find out soon enough.

Alexis stopped not ten feet from the werewolf, and waited until he turned around completely.

"You've got a death wish, blood sucker." the werewolf groaned between his teeth. Alexis smiled wickedly. They all said that, just before they choked on their own blood.

"Know the name of the one who brings you demise. I am Daithi." the werewolf said, and as he finished the name, his claws scraped Alexis' cheek. The vampire hadn't expected the attack to be so sudden, but he wouldn't be caught off guard again. A werewolf was no easy prey though. It seemed as he would have to work harder for his delight, tonight. But it wasn't an impossible task; his power was something extraordinary when it came to dealing with the fury pets, like he called werewolves.

Alexis leapt back and landed with a knee on the ground, leaning forward a little, and eyeing Daithi. The werewolf had two sparkling green eyes that dug into the vampire's head. Alexis could see the fangs rubbing against each other, and the roughened features of the werewolf before him. He could smell Daithi's anger, the resent he carried for the Kindred, and it excited him. He licked his lips, as Daithi came to attack him again. Alexis narrowed his eyes and inside those green lights Daithi's attack was played in slow motion. He saw then that this wasn't by far a worthy opponent, as he'd thought originally. Daithi was merely a cub.

The two thousand years of Alexis' life covered Daithi's four or five times. The vampire grinned, as he stood up and extended his clawed hand to plunge his fingers into the werewolf's throat. But Daithi stopped his attack, and only got scraped a little. Alexis tilted his head, and threw his a hectic look. Then he stepped forward, pulling his arm back and staring into the werewolf's eyes. As their eyes connected, Daithi knew he was lost. He growled deep in his chest, but Alexis caught his lower jaw, and urged his face closer to his own. Daithi stuck his claws in the vampire's shoulder, ripping his clothes and his flesh with a swift movement. Alexis didn't even blink. He couldn't.

"Stay." he said, and Daithi began to settle down, although he was still clawing Alexis' left arm. The vampire's poisonous eyes widened as he drew blood from the motionless young werewolf.

"Good doggy." he grinned, not moving his stare from Daithi's. The anger he felt underneath the creature's skin, the rage in his eyes was fearsome and delightful. The helplessness and the refusal to submit almost made Alexis roll his eyes back in pleasure. His fingers squeezed tighter, until he felt the bones crack under his grip, and it was only then that Daithi moaned out his pain.

"Howl, doggy. There's no one here." the vampire whispered into Daithi's ear. The body he was dominating began to fall limp, and Alexis decided to give this werewolf a breather.

So he changed the grip on his jaw with a slash across his neck and torso. The wounds fell open and in a second, blood stained Alexis' skin. The coppery smell of it made the vampire swallow.

"You're so sweet…" Alexis said, bending over Daithi's still form, whose eyes were burning in resent. He couldn't move, this vampire was stronger than he'd ever heard any vampire to be. And in that instant, he knew there was no hope for him. He would die like a worthless human, from the hand of this monster, who couldn't even be named as vampire. Daithi wondered if The Kindred knew who they held among them.

A sharp talon slowly cut across Daithi's stomach, then up his chest and finally slashed his neck. It didn't take long, and the light inside the green eyes of the werewolf faded. His eyes remained avert though, looking up through the face of his killer, who traced a blood mark with his claw, across his own face, taking in the smell and the feeling of exquisite liberation.

"Death is wasted on the dead." Alexis said, and he bent to kiss Daithi's forehead. He said that every time he would look into their eyes, those clean pools of nothingness. There was no pain there anymore, after all the turmoil they had felt… suddenly there was nothing left. The rage, the fear… all gone, forever. How could you hate death? He turned his back on his victim, and left his dead body staining the earth with blood. There was nothing more he could do, now.

:---:

By the shaking willows, at the edge of the forest, a loner passed his time thinking, something he hadn't done in a long time. Burdened with age and remorse, consumed by power, and ruling by it, Aeron thought of his kind. The werewolves had been restless in the past month; small groups of youngsters fought for domination and randomly attacked Kindred.

The unsteady balance between the two races was now at risk, and Aeron wasn't going to pay with blood again. Vampires had grown even more wicked, and their magic was even more twisted in there times. He'd heard rumors about them feeding on each other, absorbing one another to gain more power.

He was disgusted at what these vile creatures could do, to their own kind. Not to mention the obvious raids into human population. They had no respect anymore, they began to feel overly important, and Aeron feared that things would go out of control soon enough. He dreaded the day in which he would be forced to start yet another battle for survival.

Maybe the old age was getting to him, finally, but he didn't want another war. He's had his fair share of senseless murder, and rage for blood. He wondered what his clan would say if they heard their leader talk like this.

The smell of blood reached his nose, and immediately he stood up.

"Daithi." he's gone looking for the youngest member of his clan, who'd left after an argument that got out of hand. Aeron closed his eyes, knowing that the cub had met his demise.

In a matter of minutes, he was by Daithi's corpse, but the view was more than the old werewolf would have expected. Daithi was gutted like an animal, his blood all spilled and his eyes avert to nothing. Aeron bent and closed Daithi's eyes, and his own, knowing that no other but a vampire could do this. But… who? And what could this mean? Was it Daithi that challenged the vampire? It was plausible, given the young one's unsteady temper. But even Daithi wouldn't be as rash as to provoke a vampire old enough to do this to him. It would have been clear suicide.

So, that left the other option, where the Kindred attacked Daithi. The odds were clearly in favor of this unknown vampire, why would he be as cruel as to attack a young werewolf who hadn't done anything against him? Aeron shook his head and turned his eyes from Daithi's massacred body. He knew Sesshoumaru had left, so it couldn't have been the Lord. And besides, that particular Kindred had always kept to himself, and never interfered in the fights for power inside the Ventrue clan.

He was an odd one, and even Aeron couldn't presume to understand what was going on through his mind. All he knew about Sesshoumaru was that he'd come from an exotic land, and that he's been one of the last taiyoukai in his house. The old werewolf almost felt sorry for the youkai turned vampire. Such potential, shattered by a greedy desire to seize strength not yet owned. He hoped Sesshoumaru's sire didn't get to enjoy the Lord's power.

:---:

"My hands are shaking." Kagome said, as she stood in front of Sesshoumaru, in the armory room.

"Are you sure you want this?" the Lord almost whispered. Kagome couldn't smile, she was too nervous. She took a quick look at Tenseiga, and then back at him. She nodded.

"But… are you sure I can bring your blood back?" Sesshoumaru tilted his head.

"You sure are confident…" she whispered, looking at the sword again.

"I believe I have not yet told you that I love you Kagome. I do." he was so serious, and the statement so sudden, that Kagome almost choked on her words.

"I'm… I know." she said, not wanting to serve him that dulled _"me too."_ He knew, and it showed on his face. He wouldn't have said he loved her, if he wouldn't have been sure. He wouldn't have put himself in such a vulnerable position. Kagome smiled ghostly, and closed the distance between them, embracing Sesshoumaru. She leaned her forehead against his chest and breathed deeply.

"We can do this." she said, determinedly. Sesshoumaru put a hand on the top of her head, and kissed her hair.

"We can." he said, like an echo. Kagome fought against her tears.

"I'm scared." she finally said, sighing. Sesshoumaru found that he understood her.

"I am too." She looked up at him, and saw it in his eyes. He was scared for her, not himself. She frowned.

"We can do this." Kagome said again, and kissed him determinedly on his lips. Sesshoumaru felt her small hands catch his face and her warm lips against his, and he really believed her. For once, he believed in something, and it was a mortal woman, who was willing to die for him. Literally.

Kagome parted from him, took in a deep breath, and headed for the wall where Tenseiga was pinned up. She grabbed the katana from its handle, and held it before her eyes, eyeing it carefully.

"You'd better work as you're supposed to." she said to the sharp blade that couldn't kill. Her reflection looked at Kagome from the steel blade, and it seemed to wink at the young woman.

Sesshoumaru took Tokijin out on its place, and held its blade down, looking at Kagome. How was he supposed to kill her? How? Was there a law of this world or the other, to forgive him for what he was about to do? He didn't know. All he knew was that his lover would die by his hand, and that it was clawing at his soul to see her stand there, waiting for him to do it. So patiently, so confident… so trusting. So in love. The Lord frowned. It felt so wrong that he should have been punished over a thousand lives for this murder.

As he saw Kagome's eyes widen, and Tenseiga pointing towards his chest, he knew that the young mortal had contained the sword's power.

"My God…" Kagome whispered, looking at the beautiful, perfect blade of Tenseiga.

"It's alive. I swear it's alive." she said.

"Sesshoumaru, what happens if I just… try to cut you? Wouldn't you… transform? I mean… _this_ feels pretty strong."

"It would only bring me to life; I would not be rid of the vampire blood in me. I would die." Kagome looked at her sword again, then back at him. She lowered her arm and left Tenseiga beside her, on the floor. Sesshoumaru was supposed to use it first.

"I'm ready." she said, a little too loudly, betraying her fright. Sesshoumaru looked at her, standing there before him, with her arms so peacefully beside her body, he looked at her face, determined and afraid, he looked inside her beautiful violet eyes, and he felt pain. Nothing else but pain. It was beyond his limits to kill her. He couldn't do it. He pointed Tokijin towards her stomach, and stepped forward until the sharp tip of the blade pressed lightly against her body. Kagome shivered, but stayed put. Sesshoumaru clenched his teeth. This was so wrong, it was so very wrong…

"I cannot." he said, and the woman frowned. She felt like she'd received a punch in the face.

"You have to." she said, breathlessly, and swiftly stepped towards him and into his blade, whimpering as the cold metal pierced through her stomach. Sesshoumaru immediately let go of Tokijin's handle, and pulled it out by the blade, from Kagome's stomach. She looked at him only for a moment, before her eyes rolled back and she fell limp into his arms. Her warm blood spilled over his hands, and the Lord let out a pained howl that shook Muncaster from its core. He held her still body against his chest and couldn't think of anything. He wasn't whole; something inside him didn't fall into place anymore. He was cold and empty all of a sudden, he was meaningless and misplaced without her heartbeat in this world. As Kagome's would bled over Sesshoumaru's clothes, he knew how he loved her, and he knew he could save her. He had to.

:---:


	18. Time for ourselves

Unliving

Chapter eighteen - Time for ourselves

Tenseiga laid by her side, the sharp blade of Heaven judging its master for what he'd done to his loved one. His loved one… A thought that hadn't crossed Sesshoumaru's mind for a very _very_ long time, and never in this manner. Maybe this woman really was his soul mate, as questionable as that could have been. But what sick joke was this, to bind an immortal's soul with a mortal's? After all this time, after all his endless solitude, his millennial life, to find her now… Why now?

Sesshoumaru frowned at the sight of her blood. Her wound was fairly deep, and she was quite dead. Tenseiga almost moved from its spot, the pulse was so powerful. Sesshoumaru looked at the sword in disbelief. It was something he'd hoped for with his entire being, but he didn't think it would feel like this. He was actually aware of his blood flow, now. He could feel his body tensing and his heartbeat fighting to rush the life force through his veins. _Youkai_.

He took Tenseiga and held it before his eyes, then laid down Kagome's lifeless body. His heart was hardly beating at the sight of her, but he knew he could bring her back. Standing up, the Lord pointed the blade of Heaven towards the woman, and narrowed his gold eyes, praying to every God there was for his sword to hear his call.

"Tenseiga, please." he whispered, clutching onto the handle. The sword pulsed once, and he felt a sharp pain in his gut. The youkai blood was raging against the vampire inside him. He only hoped that his ancestors' inheritance was stronger than this parasitic one. So, he tried to hold his ground, and focus on the small creatures he knew he had to see. So far, he could see only smoke. No precise forms, only shades and light movement. He took in a deep breath and frowned, looking at her face.

"Kagome. Come back." he said unwaveringly, and raised Tenseiga's blade a little. The smoke slowly began to take shape, twisting and turning, forming several small bodies, the outlines of what they were meant to be. Sesshoumaru narrowed his gold eyes and concentrated. His veins could barely sustain the rush of blood; it was like a furious torrent going downhill, after a terrible storm. Clouds seemed to rip apart and howl inside him, his vision blurred and he began to see red in the corners of his eyes. The beast wanted to prevail, but he had to steady it, he had to be stronger.

The creatures looked up at him, and then concentrated on the lifeless body they were meant to carry away and consume in time. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes in relief, only fore a second. His face hardened, and his features roughened, as he cut through the smoky figures of the messengers from the other world. Immediately, Tenseiga sent a cold spear through its handle, striking its master through the arm and into the chest. The contact was electric, shaking his entire body, and yet keeping him tied to the handle. The blade was punishing the master. Sesshoumaru knew there would be no forgiveness in Tenseiga for what he'd done.

The Lord first wanted to let go of the sword, but found that it was impossible. He fell on his knees quivering, his eyes losing light. He felt like his insides were burning and freezing at the same time, and Tenseiga wasn't helping at all. He'd thought this would feel different. But the blade emitted a bright colorless light that seemed to burn him from the inside out. His body was a battle ground between to magnificent forces, and he felt ripped to shreds. Tenseiga was reigning over both his youkai and his vampire powers, holding them in place, seemingly: the vampire from ripping the body to pieces, and the youkai from transforming the Lord into a beast. He had yet another duty to fulfill.

From the cold, watery prison she'd fallen into, Kagome was looking up. She couldn't tell in the walls were made out of water or just wet. It looked like a cave. A cold, hollow cave. The sounds were reaching her ears, but she didn't know if they were close, or miles away, it could have been both. She started to think that they were just her imagination. But then long shadows glided on the other side of the walls, and Kagome dared stand up. The floor was wet as it was, and she didn't really enjoy it.

'So this is the afterlife? Not much of a life…' she thought. A cutting pain hit her stomach just as she managed to stand on her feet, and she instinctively put a hand on her abdomen. She literally had a hole in her body, and her fingers were covered in blood. The pain was slightly more than she thought she could stand, so she crashed back down, noticing that a crouched position somewhat helped.

'_Suicide… She'll be punished…'_ she heard, and her violet eyes darted in the direction she thought she should have seen the one saying the words.

'_Eternal solitude, punish her, she took her own life… punish her…'_ Kagome watched in terror how the walls kept sinking into each other, collapsing under their own weight and slowly gliding towards her. The room she sat in kept getting smaller, tighter, and she felt like she couldn't breathe.

'I didn't… I didn't take my life!' she screamed, or she wanted to, but her voice dug into the watery walls and disappeared into the thick mass of liquid.

'Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!' she began yelling, her voice getting weaker by the second, the walls collapsing over one another, and the ceiling twisting.

Kagome laid down on her back, her hand on her stomach, looking up at the watery prison.

'Save me.' she whispered. Before her words could die into the walls, the ceiling froze, a beautiful icy column forming just above the young woman. Her eyes lost focus as she stared up at the glassy surface. A bright white light cracked the cold ceiling and it shattered in a matter of seconds. Kagome felt lifted, all her pain left behind and her fear gone. The voices didn't sound as menacing anymore, they had become whispers.

Kagome opened her eyes to a blurry surrounding. She was vaguely aware that she was laid down in her own blood. Her head felt heavy, and she couldn't remember where she was. She stood up on her elbows, and swallowed, trying to recall something important. Her eyes darted to her right, and there he was. Knelt, shuddering, and almost consumed by the war inside him. Kagome didn't think it over for a split second even. She crawled by his side and grabbed Tenseiga by the blade, steadying Sesshoumaru erratic movement.

"Sesshoumaru!" she cried out, trying to look into his eyes. But he couldn't see her, although he seemed to be looking in her direction. Kagome called him again, but no answer came for her. She pulled Tenseiga by the blade, and Sesshoumaru fell over her, pinning her body to the floor. He was very heavy, and Kagome couldn't breathe right. His entire body was shaking like electric shocks would have passed through it from time to time, and the young woman was scared senseless. She didn't know what to do. What could she do, other than try to help him? His body was growing cold though, and she began to fear that she really wasn't the right one to save him. But… he'd been able to save her, and that said a lot, didn't it?

"Sesshoumaru…" Kagome whispered, catching the back of his neck. Tenseiga laid between them, and Kagome could feel the powerful flow inside the blade. This time, it didn't flow into her, but into him. It was an impressive display of how the sword protected its master. Kagome closed her eyes, and pressed his cheek against her shoulder.

"I want you to live. I want to see the sunrise with you." she whispered close to Sesshoumaru's ear, and her tears rolled down onto his fair skin. It only took a moment, and neither knew what had happened.

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and looked at her. He moved a little to kiss her, and when he touched her lips, a scorching fire flooded him, forcing _something_ out of his body. Kagome was glowing a purple light, and he thought she looked like an angel. Then, he fell limp over her body, and she lost consciousness. The bright light from Tenseiga's blade veiled them both, as the night slipped away from the horizon, fleeting from the sun's impending rise.

:---:

Her chest was burdened with a heavy load, and she was numb. Kagome opened her eyes once again, and this time she knew for sure where she was. Sesshoumaru was still unconscious. But not gone. His heartbeat was beating furiously against her chest, and she breathed easy, smiling in relief and kissing the blue crescent moon on his forehead.

"Thank you, God." she whispered, and closed her arms over Sesshoumaru's body, squeezing a little.

"I believe God has little to do with this." she heard his husky voice and gave out a surprised and pleased laugh. Sesshoumaru frowned and stood on his elbows, leaving her some room to breathe. Kagome didn't move though. She looked into his eyes and saw that fiery stare that he'd gave her for so few times. Not the icy look, not the glassy surface she had seen for so many times. His eyes were melting gold, and they were burning. She smiled widely.

"I do not know what to say." he almost whispered, out of breath. His body felt very different now, it felt warm, it felt… alive.

"You don't have to say anything." Kagome answered.

"What you did speaks for itself." she continued, touching his face with the tip of her fingers. His skin was warm, and still she couldn't believe it.

Sesshoumaru looked around.

"It is almost morning."

"That it is." Kagome said, smiling up at him. Sesshoumaru stood up and took a second to gain his balance, before extending his arm to help her up as well. The floor had been cold, and she was a little shaky. Her shirt was stained with blood, and had a significant hole right in the middle section. Kagome fingered the ruined fabric, and sighed shallowly.

"Whatever you do, don't say thanks." she said, not looking at Sesshoumaru. He knew she was going to ask that from him, and he knew why. She wasn't the person to need words; she didn't value them, which was somewhat a paradox, because she was a reporter… Sesshoumaru couldn't presume to understand her entirely, but he did know he loved her, and he respected her choices. That, however, did not mean he could not go around them. So he pulled her by the tip of her fingers, closer and closer to him, until Kagome had to look up into his eyes. She placed her other palm on his neck, just where his pulse was, and they looked at each other, not saying anything. Sesshoumaru's lips were burning with hat unsaid "thank you" that he knew he owed her, but as a twist of fate, the only time he'd truly want to say it, she didn't want to hear it. Odd.

So he embraced her instead, slowly, taking her in, and allowing her to take him in as well. His arms went around her slightly shivering body, over her shoulders, her back and ribs, her narrow waist, and her hips, moving back up her spine, and finally catching the back of her neck. Kagome laid her head against him and closed her eyes. They were so close that she could feel his breath over her hair, feel his heartbeat and his warmth. It was all real, and it wasn't forced in any way. She just wanted to sink into him and forget all about the world, all about the horrible things that were going on outside the walls of Muncaster. It was their haven, and she wanted nothing more than that.

"Come." he said, parting a little from her, and catching her hand to take her to some unknown place. Kagome didn't say anything, she just allowed him to lead her to wherever he wanted to go. They went up the main stairs, and then walked across the high and dark hallways of the castle until they reached an old entrance to some other staircase. Sesshoumaru looked back at her, and saw she was a little puzzled, but still curious.

"You shall see." he said, and Kagome nodded. She was kind of cold, but she didn't dare say anything. She was too curious as to what he wanted to show her. As they went up the spiral staircase, Kagome had the impression they climbed up the equivalent of ten floors, her assumption proving quite right after she took a look out the window at some time after they entered a rather small room.

They were at the last level of Muncaster, where nobody had had access for tens of years, as it seemed. The only things in the room were an empty fireplace, a large armchair placed in the middle of the room, and some books placed on the wooden floor, every here and there. Some were open, some closed, but all were very thick, and very old. Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru, the unsaid question in her eyes receiving an answer almost immediately.

"I used to come up here just before sunrise." he looked out the window, and Kagome noticed that there were no curtains to cover the clear glass. She came closer to him, and put a hand on his arm, leaning against him. The hill in sight was just the ridge the sun needed to make an entrance. Although a few scattered trees on the dead plane could be seen, Kagome imagined how amazing the sunrise must have been from up here, and how many times Sesshoumaru had to leave just before it happened. The one thing he couldn't have was the one he'd craved most. Was that not in any living creature's nature?

As the early morning sky reddened with spears from the sun, Sesshoumaru caught her shoulders and moved her to lean back against his chest, placing his arms around her body. Kagome tilted her head to one side and stood silent, looking at the stained sky. Violet ribbons traced across it like the memories of a long faded war, with massive bloodshed and cries of despair. Sesshoumaru widened his eyes. The clouds passing by slowly shone from behind with a surreal purple color, very similar to the one Kagome had released earlier. He smiled in the corner of his mouth, thinking that she really was an angel: his angel. Such a dull compliment, that he didn't dare say it to her. But it was true. **The amazing things we feel sound common when we word them out, if we are not poets, or maybe even then. He was no poet, nor did he know how to say "I love you" in more ways than one. But he did know how to show it, in as many ways as anyone could think of. He only needed some time with her.**

Sesshoumaru rested his chin on Kagome's head, and watched as the sun threw spears at them, almost blinding his gold eyes. He even closed them a few times, overwhelmed by the clear, bright light of dawn. He raised his face to the stunning light, and Kagome turned to look at him. She passed her fingers across his beautiful still face, and left a small trail of dried blood on his cheek. As she moved her hand to wipe it off, he opened his eyes, and looked up at the sky. Kagome stood petrified, staring at him. That look, that peaceful look… she'd seen that somewhere else. The angel from the main hallway of Muncaster. It was him. It was really him, although she'd thought that Sesshoumaru couldn't achieve that look in a million years. But, there it was now, and she could cry just by looking into his eyes. All the hope restored, all the pain he'd left behind was there, and open to her sight. She had to know.

"Who painted that angel?" Sesshoumaru smiled shallowly, not taking his eyes off the horizon.

"Kikyo." he said simply, and raised his eyebrows for a second.

"She knew. She knew she was not the one to save me, and still…"

"She knew she was to give me a great help, Sesshoumaru. That's why she stayed here with you, all that time. That's why she stayed here after her death, as well. So that she could be sure you would find me. And you did."

"I did." he said, taking in a fast breath, and looking down at her.

"I hope she can rest now." he said, and Kagome nodded.

"She will." she said, wiping the small trail of dried blood off his cheek.

"… I hope_ you_ can rest now." Kagome added, and Sesshoumaru gave her a surprised look, although the surprise was well contained within the composed mask he still wore. Kagome figured he was just not used, or comfortable with showing emotion, but that didn't mean he didn't have any. She could live with that, because she didn't want him to change… much.

Kagome stood up on her toes and put her arms around his neck, leaning her forehead against his, thankful that his head was bowed. As a side note, she said to herself that she should start to wear heels. High ones. She didn't like feeling so small, most of the times. But just now… she could live with his too.

"So are you gonna kiss me or what?" she asked, smiling childishly. Sesshoumaru was caught off guard by her sudden change in mood, and let out a short laugh.

"Am I to be the one to always kiss you? Will you not kiss _me_?" Kagome rolled her eyes back.

"Well, if you're gonna be like that, then…" she struggled to level with him and kissed him slowly, taking her time to deepen the kiss into a very passionate one, until she felt her entire body burning. She realized her feet weren't on the ground anymore, but Sesshoumaru was holding her up, with his arms crossed over her thighs. Their breaths were heavy and fast, as they fought to take in air between kisses. He stepped to the side a little, and pushed her back into the wall. Kagome whimpered, more due to the surprise than the pain, and crossed her legs over his waist. After a few minutes of pushing into each other, she began to tire.

"I can't stand up like this, Sesshoumaru. My legs won't hold me…" she smiled a little embarrassed. He put a hand under her butt, and held her weight, but decided the wall wasn't the most comfortable place for him either.

"And that wall is cold…" she whispered smiling, as he put her on the floor. Sesshoumaru looked positively gorgeous in the sunlight. She couldn't take her eyes off him, and soon enough she found that she couldn't take her hands off him either. She didn't care that there was just a small carpet on that floor, she sad down, and eyed him filled with promises. Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow.

"Here?" he said, and she blushed a little. Nevertheless, she nodded, and he raised both his eyebrows this time. He took his coat off and laid it aside.

"It is too cold." he turned and started a fire in few minutes. He liked the fire cracking in the fireplace while he read here at night, so even if he really didn't need the warmth before, he welcomed the light and the general atmosphere it created.

"Better." Sesshoumaru said as he turned to Kagome again. He sat down and pulled her to him, kissing her neck and her collarbone, lightly biting on her skin at times. She arched her back and moved to sit in his lap, with her legs on either side of his body. As he unbuttoned her torn shirt, he traced a line with the tip of his nose across her skin, then with his tongue, down between her breasts, and up again under her chin, scraping her with his fangs.

Kagome smiled at the thought that she wouldn't be rid of fangs for the rest of her life. Only this time, they were taiyoukai fangs. Much better. As he bit on her shoulder, she flinched and sunk her nails into his back. Her small whimpers following Sesshoumaru's bites and shallow scrapes came like an encouragement for him to continue, not as a warning to stop. Kagome took his shirt off and pressed her chest against his, welcoming the warm feeling of his skin against hers. They both smiled.

He laid her down and fingered the spot where Tokijin had made that fatal wound that he dreaded so much. It was gone now; the only thing that stood witness to it was the dried blood on her stomach. Sesshoumaru kissed the place, resting his forehead against her body for a moment, and breathing in deeply. His kissed went lower, until he reached her jeans, which he unbuttoned and pulled off without any ceremony at all. He was done with the ceremonial side of him. His hands passed over her body like he would have wanted to make sure she really was there, that she was within his grasp, that she wouldn't just fade away, and that this was all beyond imagination. She was real, and she was going to be his forever. Kagome enjoyed looking at his face, while he did whatever crossed his mind to her. As he touched her, as he kissed her, as he undressed her slowly, like he had all the time in the world to enjoy her… The expression on his face and in his eyes changed with his every movement. He was focused, astonished, overwhelmed, excited, and then focused again. They display was amazing.

She was holding his hair to one side, wondering at how long and… perfect it was. It seemed to shine now, that his body was alive again. Another clear proof of the fact that he was indeed alive was that unmistakable poking she felt between her legs when he spread them and laid down over her. Kagome let out the air in her lungs, and breathed in fast, again. She widened her eyes, as if she'd never felt anything like it before. She had no idea how it felt like for him to not be in control of his body for once, but to her it was a constant tease.

He pulled her bra off and caught her arms at either side of her body, kissing her breasts.

The fire was fighting its war in the fireplace, as Kagome as Sesshoumaru fought their own, on the rug in front of it. The sounds fairly resembled the ones coming from a fight scene. Whimpers, cries of surprise, and low growls from the chest of the taiyoukai. Making love to a full demon was definitely more that want it stated. It wasn't just the act in itself, it was the possession he had over her, he was always dominating her, Kagome tried to gain some sort of control, but he wouldn't allow it. Her hands were periodically pinned above her head, and he would growl, looking her in the eyes, as if asking her not to try it anymore, because she had no chance to succeed. His movements were soft and considerate, but didn't allow any hesitation, they didn't leave place for any doubt: he was in control. Kagome wasn't accustomed to it. She'd thought that first time was just an accident, or something that came from lust more than love, and that was why he's been so dominant. But no, Sesshoumaru-sama was the Lord ruler even in the bedroom. No matter, if he was the rock, she would be the water. Kagome promised herself that she would be on top sooner or later. Metaphorically and of course literally. Women were known to wear out men anyway…

Until then, Sesshoumaru gave her a lingering look that _almost_ gave Kagome time to prepare for him entering her. It wasn't fast, and it wasn't rough, it just had that touch of _something_ that he always emitted, and which stated that he _owned the right_ to do so. Again, the possession. But Kagome rolled her eyes back as the shiver passed through her body. She didn't care who was above whom anymore. That feeling had no equal. He slowly pushed in and out, entering her gradually, until he was all in. Kagome opened her mouth to breathe and arched her back, moaning in pleasure.

He steadied her and thrusted in again and again, each time receiving small whines from her lips, the lips she was licking from time to time, making him want to bite them. The pace picked up in time, and Kagome encouraged him to thrust in faster and deeper, hitting her as he entered. Sesshoumaru didn't know if he should, though. He feared she was too fragile.

But the young woman under him had strength enough for them both as it seemed, within her eyes fire was burning, and he felt it as he went deeper inside her. It burnt him too, and as her scream clawed his mind, he felt scorched by her fire. Kagome caught his waist with her legs, and tightened their connection, pulling him as deep inside as she could. After a moment, she breathed out and her legs freed Sesshoumaru, whose body fell against her once again. She smiled widely, and he decided not to use her as a support anymore. When he pulled out of her, Kagome was left with a feeling of emptiness. But he was still there, by her side, and she would never feel him missing again. Sesshoumaru kissed her lightly on the corner of her mouth, and she passed her fingers through his hair.

"I like your stripes. They say just how different you are." she said, fingering his marks. Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes.

"Maybe if you behave I will give you some, as well." Kagome rolled her eyes back.

"I already have them, see? It's just that everyone thinks they're makeup. Figures…" Sesshoumaru looked at the thin lines on her eyelids, and thought they really did look like makeup. But he didn't say anything.

"Nah, I don't think I want you to give me something _you_ were born with. My own are enough. I'm happy with what I have now." Kagome laughed, looking at him intently. Sesshoumaru tilted his head and almost smiled. She pouted.

"You should smile if you feel like it."

"I do not." Sesshoumaru teased her. Kagome pressed her lips together and frowned a little, pulling his shirt on. It was longer, and it didn't mean she had to wear anything else. Sesshoumaru watched as she dressed… if that could be called as such.

"Were you always so obnoxious?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Were you always this inquisitive?"

"Don't answer a question with a question! It's a ground rule of behavior!"

"It is not a ground rule of survival." he countered, his steady tone getting to her nerves. He was so annoying, even now!

"Oh, come on, I asked you a simple question. What's so difficult? Just…"

Her sentence broke into a surprised cry when he caught her wrist and pulled her towards him, catching her jaw with his other hand. Their faces were two inches close.

"I was born obnoxious, and I shall be obnoxious for the rest of my days. It is in my blood." he stated, much like a king would give an order. Kagome was a little taken aback by his tone, and she became very serious. Sesshoumaru couldn't hold back anymore, and the ghost of a smile escaped his lips. Kagome widened her eyes, and backed from his grip. She hit him in the chest and knocked him down; climbing on top of the one she knew could dominate her at any given moment. Seemingly, not _this_ moment.

"Jerk!" she cried out, grabbing his jaw and kissing him forcefully, or so it seemed, because she pressed her lips against his like she wanted to crush his mouth. She bit on his bottom lip, but Sesshoumaru didn't flinch at her assault.

"Women should be on top too, you know." she said, straightening her back and pressing down on his chest with her hand. She passed her other hand through her hair, flipping it back. Sesshoumaru smiled and tilted his head.

"I have noticed you mortal women believe yourselves capable of being on top. Some almost succeed." he said flatly, knowing that it would start her fire. Sesshoumaru had made a wonderful discovery: Kagome was a feminist. And that could only mean one thing: more subjects to tease her about.

"You are such a misogynistic, cold hearted, pig headed…"

"… stronger than _you_ are, BASTARD!" he continued, and Kagome laughed out her surprise.

"Yep!" she said, and bent to rest her chin on his exposed chest. As her body moved against his, they both noticed a certain desire they had to re-edit their previous action. Kagome quirked an eyebrow.

"It's either me on top or nothing." she said, blushing. He was laid under her, but still he managed to look down upon her.

"You cannot do it." he said, all high and mighty.

"Okay, I'll _bet_ you I can." Sesshoumaru had to bite on his lips not to laugh. An orgasm was certainly something he'd never made a bet on before.

"What is it that you want from me, if you win? Although it might as well be the moon, because you will never…"

"Don't mock me, Sesshoumaru-sama…" she whispered and moved against him again. Sesshoumaru felt how his own body betrayed him, and knew he stood no chance. A great Lord should know to admit defeat when needed, right? It was strange that _his_ defeat would come from such a person. But then again, her weapons weren't among the usual.

"I want…" Kagome started, looking into his eyes and searching for something to ask.

"I want you to turn into your youkai form tonight." Sesshoumaru blinked. He didn't expect this. But it wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Knowing Kagome, she might have asked him to do God-knows what crazy things, like howling at the moon…

"Do you lack a pet?" he asked, cuttingly. Kagome composed a defiant expression.

"I don't care_ what_ you say, you'll transform tonight. Because _you_, Sesshoumaru –sama… _will lose._" she said, and pressed against him again.

Sesshoumaru knew he would, because he wanted to. And what he wanted, he got. Every time. Even if it was disguised as a loss. So, the taiyoukai Lord lost the battle against his beautiful, strong minded lover, and got to see her body arch above him, shivering, as her full lips described the smile only he was meant to see. Yes, he lost.

:---:


	19. Sesshoumaru's beginning and Alexis' end

Unliving

Chapter nineteen – Sesshoumaru's beginning and Alexis' end

He was thinking about it, but he thought it was such an improper thing to say at this time, that he didn't dare say a word. Kagome was next to him, playing with his hair. What was it with women and his hair? The thought still circled his mind though, and he couldn't rest.

"Kagome." he said softly, and looked at her. She was braiding a few strands. He frowned at the sight of his hair being tortured like that, but decided that more important things were at risk here.

"Hm?" she said, absentmindedly. She still had his shirt on, and he wore only his pants.

"What is it?" she said, seeing as he didn't answer her previous "_hm?"_

"I need to eat." Kagome almost broke into laughter. It was certainly a pleasant shift in wording, after "I need to feed." It sounded more… human.

"Well, I think it's about time." she said, sure that he was embarrassed enough as it was just by being forced to say what he'd said. But the expression on Sesshoumaru's face didn't let any embarrassment come out. Maybe Kagome assumed too much, when it came to his feelings. Stuff like expressing emotion, and showing vulnerability, he couldn't do if his life depended on it, but he had a genuine talent for making other things, things she found personal, seem normal, and with no reason to be hidden. Take his hunger for example. A gentleman would have never said "I'm hungry, let's get out of here and eat." He would have made some suggestion, and she, as the educated almost lady that she is, would have made the proposition. But no, he had to go and say he was hungry. Kagome stood up and extended an arm to help him up.

"Let's go eat." she said, all radiant. Truth be told, she was also hungry. Sesshoumaru eyed her unconvinced.

"I do not require help sitting up. Do not flatter yourself." he said, flatly. Kagome grimaced in disbelief. He was _so_ condescending! She took off his shirt and shoved it in his arms, pulling her underwear on and not paying any attention to him. As she finished buttoning her own shirt, she headed towards the door, but he cut her path swiftly, practically appearing in front of her, blocking her way.

"It was a joke." he said, but his tone didn't have the gift of making her feel like smiling.

"It wasn't very funny." Kagome replied, still refusing to look at him.

"Will you look at me?" He stopped himself from commanding her to look at him, and decided to put in the form of a question. Sesshoumaru dreaded the moments he had to explain himself to anyone. But this time, he had to. And, for the record, at any given time that he would offend her with his behavior. The Lord knew he could be very discouraging, and more often than not. Kagome looked up at him.

"I know you didn't mean anything by it, I'm just… Hell, I'll get used to it. Don't worry. Never mind." She waved her hand, and smiled up at him. Sesshoumaru nodded lightly. They never told you what comes after _"They lived happily ever after."_ Well, the living happily was as difficult, or maybe even more so that what came before it. You always had to consider the other person's feelings, their decisions, their choices, the way they behave and think… It was a difficult balance to keep, and for someone as distant as Sesshoumaru, it proved very tricky.

:---:

"I think you won't be eating again, for three weeks." Kagome eyed the emptied plate in front of Sesshoumaru. He'd eaten the amount of food to make up for all the seven hundred years he'd missed on eating normally.

"Be happy that I made the effort to cook it." he replied, and Kagome stopped chewing on the carrot she held in her hand.

"You mean you eat raw meat?" she said, her mouth full, and giving Sesshoumaru a great view. He frowned a little.

"Yes. Just like you speak with your mouth full. Not every time, but enough to make others grimace, and not care about it." He smiled. Kagome continued her chewing, shaking her head.

"You're…"

"Youkai." he finished for her, and Kagome had to admit he was right. 800 years ago, who was gonna care about cooking, in the inu-youkai clan?

"What's it taste like?" she asked, bending over the table and leaning on her forearms to get closer to him. Sesshoumaru had a tint of amusement in his tone when he answered.

"Good." Kagome rolled her eyes.

"I was sure you were gonna answer something placid like that. Come on, I wanna know! Tell me. Tell me, tell me, _tell me_!" The transition from a determined woman to this spoiled child was all too sudden for him. Sesshoumaru stood amazed for a few moments.

"I do not think you would enjoy it. And I cannot describe the taste. It is not about the taste, anyway. It is the feeling of sinking your teeth into it, the way the meat rips to shreds and almost bleeds…"

"Stop!" Kagome's eyes were wide open, and she felt a little sickened. She swallowed, disgusted.

"That's not yummy." Sesshoumaru tilted his head.

"And you expected it to be?" She stuck her tongue out to him, like a kid.

"Be careful with that." Sesshoumaru said, standing up and moving towards her. The kitchen was quiet now, because Sesshoumaru had all the staff leave the room. The poor people had left with astonished looks on their faces. Aside from the fact that their Lord had showed himself at daytime, he had this pleasant expression on his face. They were surprised, but happy to see him like that, a state that they immediately held Kagome responsible for. Therefore, they liked her as well.

Sesshoumaru looked down at her, and stung her bottom lip with a claw. Even his claws felt sharper now. The wave of confusion passed so rapidly through his eyes, that Kagome almost missed it. He had all the reasons in the world to be confused. She knew she was a handful.

"Care to take Saidan out for a walk?" she said, breaking the trace of his unknown thoughts. Sesshoumaru dropped his arm.

"Anytime." he answered, and she smiled a little.

"I'll go get dressed, and we can go for a tour of the garden. Sesshoumaru nodded, a little absentmindedly. Kagome stood up and walked to the door, but as she grabbed the handle, she turned half to him and saw an uneasy look upon his face. She frowned, biting on the inside of her cheek.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes." The word fell like a curtain over his face, and suddenly she couldn't see anything in his eyes. She didn't believe him, and he could tell she didn't. But she didn't ask anything else. She just gave him a long look that said he could talk to her if he needed to, and left him alone.

Sesshoumaru watched as the door fell closed behind Kagome, and stood in the large quiet kitchen thinking about his current situation. His immortality had taught him to put things into perspective, he was always thinking about what was to come in ten or twenty years. Mortals made plans for the next year, or maybe as long as five years ahead. But the Lord had an image of how his life was to be in the next twenty years or so, maybe even further.

This time, though, seeing Kagome stand beside him, he couldn't think like that anymore. He couldn't think about tens of years, because in a hundred years time she may be gone. Sesshoumaru didn't know how much her youkai blood could help her live longer than humans, but he knew even hanyou didn't live as long as full youkai. And that thought lingered inside his mind all the time, right from the moment he'd realized he loved her.

He sat down, his eyes almost hollow, and looking at the surface of the massive, wooden table. He bowed his head and closed his eyes tight, frowning as his lips let out a very small sigh.

He was searching for the answer he knew he couldn't find, his gold eyes now jumping helpless from item to item in the wide room, not seeing anything at all. It really wasn't like him at all to be so confused, and he didn't particularly enjoy the feeling.

The new situation in which he found himself was at the very least making him vulnerable, and that he was not accustomed to. But, oddly enough, it wasn't the main thing bothering him right now. The fact that he was thinking mostly about her, rather than himself, said something to the Lord. Something impossible to ignore: than from now on, he would belong as much to her as he did to himself. There was no turning back, nor did he search for any.

Sesshoumaru's hands pushed against the tabletop, and he stood up straight, raising his chin into the air a little, and lifting the corners of his eyebrows. That was the pose he took every time he wanted to keep the world at a safe distance. Whose safety was he guarding this time? His own? Kagome's? As the thought crossed his mind, Alexis' ghost appeared before his eyes like a constant threat. Alexis, who didn't know he's returned to his youkai form. Alexis, who pretended to love him. Alexis, who hated Kagome. Alexis. Always Alexis. Was he never to be rid of Alexis?

Sesshoumaru didn't fear him, he'd never feared him. He'd always tried to keep his former Sire's temper under control. That had been the reason for which he'd allowed short slips from his part: a kiss, a touch now and then, but never anything more. And it wasn't even because he couldn't picture himself into a relationship with another man, that wasn't it. He'd never even begun to think about that aspect. He'd stopped at Alexis' nature, his unjustified cruelty, his taste for bloodshed.

Sesshoumaru didn't understand that, and he certainly didn't want it near himself. But he cared about the dark haired vampire, he couldn't deny that. There was a strange bond between them, even now, that the taiyoukai was alive again. Even now, Sesshoumaru found himself wanting to protect Alexis from himself. He was sure that in the end, his Sire would be his own demise. The Lord didn't want that, as strange as it would have seemed. After all the harm this creature had done to him, Sesshoumaru still cared. There were maybe two persons on this Earth that he would have protected, and those two were his lover and the one who wanted her dead. Strange, but not entirely beyond understanding.

Sesshoumaru wanted to get out of the room. He felt choked in the chamber, he wanted to see the sunlight. A little faster than usually, he exited the kitchen, and passed through the hallway, to the main entrance, where he stopped with his hand on the door. His heart pounded inside his chest, without him knowing the exact reason. His long white hair barely moved on the black coat he wore when he turned his head to look over his shoulder at the angel guarding the entrance. His eyes were something he'd never understood, Kikyo had mocked him for hundreds of years with that painting.

It looked so much like himself, and yet the angel was so different… That expression was something he could never achieve, it was a feeling he could never have, a trust he couldn't find in a thousand years. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and turned them away from the angel's perfect face. He didn't want to see those eyes anymore, reminding him of everything he could never be.

The moment he pushed the heavy doors open, and found his body drenched in the cold light of late autumn, Sesshoumaru remembered that there was a moment in which Kagome had seen that peaceful look inside his eyes, she saw the good in him, the little of it that could be seen. He didn't know if immortality had blunted him like that, if his feelings were so numb and far apart because of his long life or because he was just incapable of something more. He didn't know if what he had to offer would be enough to Kagome, or if she was expecting him to change in any way.

Sesshoumaru stepped out on the pavement, and raised his face to the sky. The clouds rarely allowed the sun to shine from behind their heavy and thick curtain, but Sesshoumaru didn't care that much. It was daytime, and as he opened his eyes, they hurt from the exposure. His skin almost shied away from the light's ghostly touch, as the clod cutting wind that announced winter blew away the moist leaves on the ground.

He hadn't come to a satisfying conclusion by the time he pulled Saidan out of his stable. He just wanted to have some peace for a change, and try not to think about his problems for this one day. There would be enough days to do that.

The horse snarled at the touch of his master, and although his scent was fairly changed, Saidan accepted Sesshoumaru after a moment of hesitation. The Lord smiled and patted his tall horse on the neck. The dark strands of the horse mingled with Sesshoumaru's as the Lord rested his head against Saidan, and a wind blow rushed over them both. The warmth from Saidan, his calm and acceptance soothed Sesshoumaru.

Kagome took a turn around the wall of Muncaster, and was presented with the most beautiful picture she'd ever seen. Sesshoumaru had one hand resting against Saidan's neck, and his head bowed a little to the horse. The wind played with the Lord's hair, but was barely managing to shift the heavy strands, and the contrast between the dark horse and Sesshoumaru's fair skin was amazing. She couldn't believe how beautiful he looked, just standing there like that, resting against the tall horse. As Saidan snarled again, and threw his head up, Sesshoumaru slowly turned his eyes towards Kagome, his head still a little bowed.

The young woman felt a shiver pass her body, and smiled in surprise. The demon didn't move much. He just tilted his head half an inch, and his look became invasive, like there was nothing inside her he couldn't see. Kagome didn't know if she loved that look of feared it. Maybe both.

She managed to move and come closer to Sesshoumaru, whose gold bees still threatened to sting her. She began to feel exposed, and bit on her bottom lip. He followed her movement with his eyes, settling it on her mouth. Kagome turned crimson, although for what reason she couldn't tell. He was so disturbing, all the time!

"Are we still going for…" her word broke into silence as she made the mistake of looking deeply into his eyes. Her heart was racing like a maniac, and she was sure he could tell. Even _she_ could tell that her scent had suffered a subtle shift. She was anxious. Her breath was fast and shallow. Her eyes were wide open and her body tensed. And Sesshoumaru wasn't giving her any breaks.

"I am never going to be any different from how I am today, Kagome." he finally said, and she frowned at the unexpected words.

"I know." Kagome replied, not understanding how he got the idea that she wanted him to change.

"And you still want this?" Kagome smiled in disbelief.

"_This?_ You mean… us? Of course I do. That's why I came back, this is who I fell in love with, and this is what I want." She shook her head, confused about _his_ confusion. It wasn't in his nature to be insecure.

"Good." Sesshoumaru said, and the immobile mask melted from his features.

"Come." He helped her up Saidan's saddle, and he walked beside the horse.

:---:

"It'll be dark soon." Kagome said, looking at the fiery horizon, where the sun threw its last spears over the hills. Sesshoumaru was still beside her, and Saidan fussed anxiously under her weight. The slow pace was unsatisfying for the strong horse, who wanted to run, to stretch its muscles and feel the wind against his body.

"Saidan wants a bit of a race. Should I?" she said again, and Sesshoumaru let go of the leather straps holding the horse. he didn't say anything, but both Kagome and Saidan understood that he was giving them permission to run off together to wherever they felt like it.

"We'll be back soon." Kagome shouted over her shoulder, as she encouraged Saidan to pick up speed. Sesshoumaru only nodded, looking at her bending over the horse's back, to gain speed. She wore those horrible jeans and boots that climbed up her slender legs just below her knees and a simple jacket over the green sweater. Her hair was loose and blown all over the place by the wind, yet he still couldn't take his eyes off her. Until she rode out of his sight, Sesshoumaru could see how her legs tensed against Saidan's slim form, grasping the horse and encouraging it to run, to run and not think of anything else. Maybe she was running from something as well.

He turned his eyes to the edge of the forest, looking over it as if he wanted to see something else there. Sesshoumaru knew that his peace wouldn't last for long, not while Alexis was still around. And he was by no means gone. He was only waiting, he had time to wait, time to ponder over what to do next, about how to take _her_ out of the equation without getting _him_ angry. But Alexis didn't know he was youkai again. That could prove problematic. Alexis could see that as a betrayal. He might forget all about his alleged feelings, and just want to do as much damage as he could, and fact being that he couldn't touch him, Sesshoumaru was sure Alexis would go after Kagome.

The Lord stopped his quiet walk.

"You don't waste any time, Alexis." A short, nervous laugh came from behind him, and Alexis said:

"Why would I? Where's your…" his voice suddenly fell, and Sesshoumaru expected to see an astounded and furious face before his eyes, as Alexis walked in front of him. He'd been correct. Alexis was as much confused as he was angry.

"What is the meaning of this?" the vampire hissed. The demon looked into his eyes carefully. He didn't want a fight with Alexis. The damn maniac would fight to the death, and there was absolutely no question as to who the winner would be. Sesshoumaru's demon blood protested against his passive behavior, though. It was something he'd never done before. Try to mend feelings, try to keep the peace.

"Sesshoumaru. Explain." Alexis commanded, his eyes wide open and fixed on Sesshoumaru's.

"There is little to explain. I regained my original nature."

"I can see _that_! What I mean is… _how_?" Alexis had his fists clenched. He could feel his claws wounding his own palms, but he didn't care. His body was barely denying the quivering he wanted to let pass through him.

Sesshoumaru didn't have the chance to answer. Alexis' face cleared all of a sudden.

"That woman… _She_ did this!" Sesshoumaru took in a sharp breath.

"Tell me! She did this!!" Alexis shouted.

"Calm down, Alexis, you are in no position to accuse Kagome of anything." the demon replied flatly.

"She took you away from me, Sesshoumaru."

"Why would you say that? She only fulfilled _my_ wish, Alexis. It was something _I_ wanted, to be myself again, to feel the blood through my veins again. You have no idea…"

"Shut up! I don't care what you say, what she says… you're_ mine_! I made you what you are!" the vampire shouted again, stepping towards Sesshoumaru. His green eyes sparked with that eerie light of madness he held whenever he was on the edge of his reason. Sesshoumaru cut his words firmly, in a well controlled tone of voice.

"You made me weaker, Alexis! You were selfish, and you caught me in a vulnerable position seven hundred years ago. You _know_ what you had to do to get to me, back then. Don't think I did not figure it out. I had seven hundred years to think over it, to ponder over how I had gotten so weak in the battle. But I never said anything to you." Alexis turned even whiter than his usual pale self. His jaws were trembling from the pressure he applied. His body was quivering with anger.

"I gave you another life, Sesshoumaru. You should be thankful."

"I never searched for another life. My life was my own, and I was more than content with it. You had no right to force another upon me. That is not love, it is egotism." Sesshoumaru felt like he was breaking through Alexis' fury. But the green eyes still sparked vengeful, warning him to gain control over the situation as soon as possible.

"I never meant to hurt you, Sesshoumaru."

"Yet you did. Is it not true that in order to save my life, after you yourself ordered that unjustified attack over me, you had to turn to your most hated enemies in the Kindred? Is it not true that you called upon the Tremeres to balance my blood, and keep me alive until you turned me?" Alexis looked like a child under his parents' accusation. Sesshoumaru was right, and he knew it.

"But you lived."

"_That_ is no life." Sesshoumaru emphasized on the words, making Alexis bite his bottom lip. The vampire's sharp claws grabbed Sesshoumaru's jaw, and even if the demon was slightly taller, Alexis still managed to look down upon him. His feelings poured out through his every pore. He felt betrayed, but at some level he understood Sesshoumaru's thirst for life. Real life. He himself had missed it early in his vampire years, but it had been long since he'd last craved for sunlight. He'd been a human, a simple and pathetic human before he was turned, and the vampire nature was so much better. He couldn't even imagine what human life would have been like for him, now. But neither could he imagine how youkai life could be like.

Sesshoumaru didn't even flinch at Alexis' cold touch.

"Your skin is warm." the vampire said, slowly. His eyes had lost that strange spark; they were dull now, almost sad. The grip on Sesshoumaru's jaw turned into a soft touch, as Alexis passed his fingers over the demon's cheek and forehead.

"When I saw you covered in your own, and your enemies' blood, I doubted myself for the first time in my entire existence. Your face was livid, your clothes stained with blood, there was so much of it, I couldn't stop it pouring out, because I myself had told them to rip you apart, to make you incapable of moving, incapable of opposing resistance." Sesshoumaru frowned at his words. Alexis' voice was even, but his eyes strayed from place to place, as his fingers rested on Sesshoumaru's neck, feeling his pulse.

"They knew what to do. The Tremeres are warlocks; they can do amazing things, even for us Kindred. But they hated Ventrues, so I had to make a deal with them against our Prince's knowledge. Hn…" his sad laugh made Sesshoumaru feel sorry for Alexis. But he didn't say anything. He just put his hand over the cold fingers of the vampire. Alexis pulled his hand away from the demon's soft touch. He hated compassion, especially directed towards himself. He shook his head.

"Don't pity me, Sesshoumaru. Don't you _dare_ pity me. There is nothing that I did for you that I regret. I've killed them, you know. I've slain them like the pigs they were. How dare they lift a hand over you? How dare they look down upon you?" Alexis laughed out shortly and cynically, looking at Sesshoumaru from under his eyebrows. The cold look of revenge shone in the depths of his eyes. Sesshoumaru knew he was going to lose control, but he was too taken with Alexis' words to react.

"The Prince, our _ruler_, perished like a pitiful insect, screaming for forgiveness when I slit his throat and drained him of his unlife. And his damned fledglings too, his entire genealogy gone… just because he stepped on my toes and didn't agree with me. He said… Hah! _He_ said you would bring the Kindred nothing but trouble, he said you would betray us, that you would never fit in, that you… my beautiful Sesshoumaru…" Alexis rested his ear against Sesshoumaru's chest, listening to his heartbeat, "… that you will bring my demise closer to me, and that you will destroy me. Now isn't that ridiculous?"

Sesshoumaru was as stiff as he was before he'd gone back to being a demon.

"_You_ killed the Prince?" the demon whispered.

"Hmm… your voice sounds so deep here, in your chest. I've always loved listening to your voice.

"I did. For you." Alexis replied, a strange calm settling inside his eyes. It was the calm before the storm, Sesshoumaru thought.

"Do you see it now? Do you see how much I love you?" Alexis stretched his slender neck and looked at the demon's face from two inches away. Sesshoumaru lightly shook his head.

"You did it for yourself, not for me." Alexis frowned and pouted.

"There would have been no need for you to protect me, if you hadn't made me vulnerable in the first place." Sesshoumaru didn't know how to reason with the vampire. He couldn't get through to him, Alexis was always very stubborn and moody, and his temper would shift and go from calm to rage and back in a matter of seconds. He was like an unsteady ocean, dangerous and deceiving. His vulnerability was always a mask under which he could hide his hatred. Sesshoumaru only hoped he could go over this before Kagome could find them and get involved in their argument.

"You don't understand, my lovely Sesshoumaru. You just can't see it." Alexis' face was as clear as a summer sky, his eyes wide open and smiling at the youkai, as if he were telling him a peaceful story from long ago. But his words made a poor match with his expression, and it all added to the awkward feeling Sesshoumaru got from the dark haired vampire.

"You had to be vulnerable, you had to die and come back, and you had to love me… But you never obeyed, Sesshoumaru. You never obeyed. You had to be outstanding, you were made out of a different kind of life force, there was something inside you stronger than any other energy… It's your own fault, and your hands will be the ones stained with her blood."

Sesshoumaru frowned, and tried to back from the closeness Alexis had compelled between them two. But the scent stopped him, and his heart shivered as he recognized Kagome's presence approaching.

"Alexis, don't." he warned the vampire. But Alexis tilted his head and looked at the demon with a fixed look which said it clearly that he was unreasonable, he was beyond logic.

"Alexis, don't make me hurt you." Sesshoumaru insisted, but the vampire only let out a short laugh, and his fangs shone in the moonlight.

"Then don't hurt me, Sesshoumaru." his voice rang in the heavy silence. Sesshoumaru heard Saidan stop behind him, and could hear Kagome's fast breath, tired from the run on the horse. She wasn't afraid though, he could read no apprehension in her scent.

"Alexis." she said, more surprised than anything else.

But the look on the vampire's face stopped her from a further talk. The tension between the two was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and she realized she'd come in a very bad moment. Timing had never been one of her assets.

A quick swoosh, and Alexis was next to Saidan. Kagome had barely seen him move. She didn't even hear it when Sesshoumaru moved and placed himself between Saidan and herself.

Alexis was looking up at her, and Kagome began to feel uneasy. Whatever they had been talking about, it hadn't been very friendly, judging by the look of Alexis. His cold stare was fixed on her neck, where the small silver cross the Sesshoumaru had given her hung.

Alexis snarled, and Kagome instinctively backed. She couldn't feel him jump towards her, all she saw was Sesshoumaru move, and one second later, the demon's poisonous claws on Alexis' throat.

She clutched onto the horse's saddle, staring at the two. Sesshoumaru was very tensed, as he flexed the fingers on his left hand, and held back the poison within his right one.

"Alexis." he said, his tone warning the vampire against further action. Alexis was still looking at Kagome.

"You know, I wanted you dead, mortal." he said, as his eerie eyes locked onto hers. Kagome stared back at him, and felt this sharp pain puncturing the back of her head, like a cold needle had been inserted there.

"Aah!" she whimpered, but found that she couldn't move. Tears filled her eyes, as she whined slowly under the vampire's hateful stare. Sesshoumaru stepped between them, blocking Alexis' sight, and breaking their eye contact.

But there was no use, Alexis didn't need eye contact to hurt her, not anymore. The demon heard her whimpers from behind him, and couldn't even turn to look at her. He tightened his grip on Alexis' throat, poison dripping from his claws and burning the vampire's neck.

"Stop, Alexis. I will kill you, make no mistake about that. There is no choice between you and her!" Sesshoumaru hissed between his teeth. Alexis looked at him almost surprised.

"Don't I know it…" he whispered, narrowing his green eyes. Kagome screamed behind Sesshoumaru, and the demon turned to look at her. He shivered as he saw blood spill from the corner of her mouth, and her hands shaking, as she covered her ears.

"I wanted you dead…" Alexis whimpered.

"Do _you_ want to die, you fool?" Sesshoumaru raised his voice, looking back at Alexis.

"Leave her alone! Kagome, leave now! Leave!" Sesshoumaru shouted, but it seemed like she couldn't hear it. Or she couldn't move, one of either.

"I don't want to kill you, Alexis." Sesshoumaru tried once again.

"But I do. I shouldn't live anymore; a monster like me shouldn't be allowed to walk the earth. You'd do me a favor, Sesshoumaru. I can't take my own life, but you can. And you will."

"No." Sesshoumaru whispered, just as Kagome cried out in pain, and fell off Saidan.

"No! I won't be your means to an end, Alexis! Enough!" the demon pressed his other hand over Alexis' forehead, pushing his head back, and making him lose his balance, and his focus. Alexis relinquished all hopes on life, all his hatred and his ill love, and allowed Sesshoumaru to take over him, sure that the demon would kill him.

Maybe he didn't really want to die, but there was nothing else he felt other that pain, right then. Seeing Sesshoumaru step between him and that mortal woman, Alexis ached inside, and he knew he would kill her if something wouldn't stop him. She had to die, because she was in his way, because her presence was an impediment for his plans, for his wishes, for his desires. It was in his nature, he killed everyone that got in the way, and he'd never felt sorry, he didn't even look back once. But this time, this time…

This one time, when Sesshoumaru dripped poison on his flesh, trying to protect her, this time when Sesshoumaru stepped between him and this woman, this _one_ time, Alexis thought that maybe he was wrong. This time, maybe he was making a mistake. Giving up on himself was far more easy that giving up on Sesshoumaru, as the vampire would see. And he fell back, allowing the demon to spear him with all that frightful rage he held inside.

'How he must hate me!' Alexis thought, as his insides were torn apart, and he felt like he was bleeding through a thousand wounds.

The youkai power encircled them both, as Sesshoumaru flared his aura around him, raging and controlling himself at the same time. The tug at his senses was so powerful, and the sudden rush to kill was so strong, that he thought he couldn't hold it back, and take Alexis' life, for a moment.

"Sesshoumaru, don't…" Kagome's voice sounded in his ears, and brought him back to earth, gave him purpose and direction, gave him something to hold on to. And he didn't kill Alexis. His hands left the vampire's body and Sesshoumaru looked at his own fingers, in disbelieve. He'd never meant to kill him, but if it hadn't been for her, he might have. He looked at Alexis for a second, whose eyes were half open and looking at him. Sesshoumaru frowned and turned from him without as much as a word, rushing to kneel beside Kagome, and help her sit up.

"Are you…" he began, but she nodded, and looked at his face with hope.

"He's not dead, right? I mean, you… you didn't…"

"No." Sesshoumaru said slowly, wiping the blood off the corner of her mouth, and feeling utterly confused about the way she was behaving. What did she care about Alexis? He'd just tried to kill her!

"Good. That's… good." her faint voice broke into a cough, and Kagome grabbed her chest, to steady her breath. Sesshoumaru eyed her with concern.

"Are you in pain?"

She shook her head.

"I'll be fine. See to him." she nodded towards Alexis, who was lying on his back on the moist ground.

The mist had begun its nightly descend from uphill, and the darkness was getting colder by the minute. Sesshoumaru could feel the wind blowing about, calling the storm, and he raised his nose into the air, narrowing his eyes. Alexis was still, but his eyes were now avert, looking up into the night sky, looking up at nothing at all, seeing nothing of the world around him.

As he knelt beside him, Sesshoumaru thought Alexis was a very strange creature, one he couldn't hope to fully understand, but one whom he couldn't help to care about. The taiyoukai leaned over the vampire's cold figure, and placed a hand on his cheek. Alexis smiled sadly.

"You should have killed me." he whispered, and Sesshoumaru frowned.

"It was not my right." he replied. If Alexis had known how to cry, he would have. If his lifeless body could have learned how to shed tears, the vampire would have poured out his shame, his frustration and regret; he would have shown Sesshoumaru that his love was real, although it was so different, although it was so destructive and uncontrollable.

"I was wrong about you." Alexis whispered, frowning in pain. Sesshoumaru didn't say anything. He just sustained Alexis' sad stare.

"You do love me." the vampire continued, his voice dim, but unwavering.

"So you've finally seen it." the demon said, a little more emotional than he would have wanted. Sesshoumaru's love wasn't as Alexis would have wanted it to be. It wasn't even fair to call it love. It was a connection that the demon still felt to the vampire. He cared for him enough not to kill him for hurting Kagome. And that was no little thing. Alexis smiled, and coughed out blood. Sesshoumaru grimaced at the sight of the crimson stains.

"I'll be fine."

"I know."

"What did I do...?" Alexis asked, looking away from Sesshoumaru's open look. He couldn't take his honesty. Not now. He wondered if he'd ever been able to.

"… to her." he completed.

"She will be fine." Sesshoumaru responded, casting away a strand of black hair off Alexis' forehead. The vampire only nodded, and struggled to get up, refusing any help from Sesshoumaru. Finally, he stood firm on his legs.

"I think I did make you weaker. If that's just a part of what you can do, then I wouldn't want to see you truly angry." the vampire managed to smile in the corner of his mouth, and to quirk an eyebrow. Then, he looked at Kagome, who was leaning against Saidan. Slowly, he walked passed Sesshoumaru, and stopped very close to the woman. He didn't say a thing; he only looked into her violet eyes, narrowing his own.

Kagome looked at him fearless, openly, without any trace of worry that he might try to hurt her again. Sesshoumaru was there. Alexis saw that trust inside her eyes, and he knew he belonged someplace else than between the two of them. He didn't know where, only not between them. Those two were meant to be as close as they could to each other, and as long as she had that trust in him, and he had that kind of force sleeping within him, they were indestructible. He was the body and she was the soul. She was the will, and he was the power. Alexis smiled.

He took one last look at Sesshoumaru, wordlessly telling him not to worry about further tries to gain contact. Alexis was determined not to push this demon's patience and his affection to the limit. He knew there would have been no other result, than his own demise.

The last look Sesshoumaru ever gave Alexis was, surprisingly, a thankful one. Surprisingly for the woman looking at him, but even more so for the vampire receiving it. Alexis never understood why Sesshoumaru had been thankful to him, that night. And it was his conviction that he would never understand the demon, either. But that didn't stop him from loving Sesshoumaru. Maybe it was ill, maybe it was out of place, out of time and out of reason, but he couldn't help the way he felt. He could, however, help the way he acted. And he never came close to Sesshoumaru again.

:---:


	20. Epilogue

Unliving

Epilogue

"Trust me, I know Kazuki. He'll take it better if I just tell him by myself." Sesshoumaru was skeptic to say the least. Kagome smiled at him full of… something that may have been energy or resolution. The trip to Tokyo had been a rather long and tiresome one, but now they were home, her home, and the apartment seemed too small for the demon, who was accustomed to Muncaster's huge chambers and long hallways. It wasn't uncomfortable though, he enjoyed standing in the middle of her living room, noticing how "like her" the setting was.

What disturbed him was that faint scent of another male, a hanyou perhaps, lingering all over the place. He hadn't said anything to Kagome, though. But that didn't mean he wasn't wondering who that man was, and what his relationship with Kagome was. Her former lover? Her sibling? Who was he? Sesshoumaru realized he knew next to nothing about her life in Tokyo, and he found himself curious.

"Alright." he finally agreed. Kagome had asked him all the way home to let her talk to Kazuki before she introduced Sesshoumaru to her father. She didn't know how Higurashi-sama would take the news, after her stupid behavior, the last time she'd seen him. She wanted to apologize and explain her attitude. She didn't want any more fights with her father, enough was enough. She was a grown woman now, not a spoiled child of 16 anymore, and she had to mend her relationship with her strong minded father.

"Thanks." Kagome smiled with all her face. Sesshoumaru only raised his eyebrows a little.

"I'll be back soon, and we'll go se him together afterwards." again, that smile lit her face, and he took in a long deep breath, watching her close the door behind her. It had been two days since their confrontation with Alexis. Sesshoumaru could still hear the vampire's sad words, could still see his dull eyes and his sorrow. But as difficult as it may have been, that had been the best solution to their problem. Alexis' death would have made Sesshoumaru feel guilty for the rest of his days.

The demon didn't know if could have put passed him the vampire's death, especially if it had been him the one to kill Alexis. No matter the reason, he didn't want to take any lives, anymore. For 1200 years, he'd done nothing but that: killing without stopping to think that there might have been another way to solve the issue.

Kagome was so right to tell him he was a monster back then, she'd been so right to hate him, to reject him and to give him that slap over the face. Humanity is something one could find within themselves, even if they have no human blood. It shows in the way you act, in the way you speak, in the way you love… Compassion is indeed an asset, not a weakness. Sesshoumaru sighed quietly, walking into the bedroom. As he looked out the window, at the people passing on the street, he could almost smell the scent of a new life waiting for him. His heart began to beat faster, in expectance.

Soon, the year would change, and this time the change would bring something completely new, something he hadn't even been aware existed. It was like a poor joke, an immortal never knowing there could be real love on this Earth, an immortal believing that everything is passing by, and nothing ever lasts. His life lasted. Nature lasted. The sky and sun were lasting. The water still dropped down from the clouds every autumn, the snow returned, like a faithful promise, every winter, and the birds filled the trees at Muncaster every spring. Why would_ love_ be the one to fade?

The sound of the key turning in the lock made him turn his head only an inch, as he looked over his shoulder. Maybe she'd forgotten something.

But there was so sound coming from whoever entered the apartment. Sesshoumaru frowned a little and turned to see who the intruder was. Although the term couldn't accurately describe the person, since they had a key.

As he made his way to the bedroom door, he almost bumped into a young man, trying to carry a large bag.

"Kami!" Inuyasha shouted startled, as he noticed the youkai's presence.

"Who the hell are _you_?" the hanyou eyed the tall demon before him, and Sesshoumaru looked down upon him.

"Who am I? Who are _you_?" the demon replied. Inuyasha quirked a dark eyebrow, looking at Sesshoumaru suspiciously. He had a hunch.

"Sesshoumaru…" the hanyou whispered.

"I believe not." Sesshoumaru said, looking straight into Inuyasha's eyes.

"Oh, no, not me. I'm… obviously… not you." the hanyou said, narrowing his eyes, and analyzing the demon's features. They looked fairly alike, with those gold eyes, and the long white hair.

'She really does follow some pattern…' Inuyasha said to himself, then extended an arm to Sesshoumaru.

"I'm Inuyasha." the hanyou said, calmly.

Seeing as Sesshoumaru didn't make any attempt to take his hand, Inuyasha raised his eyebrows and dropped his arm.

"I'm… a friend of Kagome's. I suppose she didn't tell you about me."

"She did not." Inuyasha could roll his eyes at the defiant expression on the demon's face. The stood in silence for a few seconds, eying each other. Or, most like Sesshoumaru eying Inuyasha like he would have been some suspicious character, and Inuyasha looking away from time to time, waiting for the demon to finish. Little did he know that Sesshoumaru had limitless supplies of patience when it came to staring at people.

Finally, the hanyou got enough, and raised his palms in the air.

"Are we cool, or what?" Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.

"You seem an agreeable… person." he said. Inuyasha felt like laughing, but something in the demon's scent stopped him.

"Thanks." he huffed out.

"Can I get my stuff?" Inuyasha said after a second.

Sesshoumaru seemed to straighten his back, if any further straightening was necessary, and extended a gracious arm to Inuyasha. The hanyou smiled in the corner of his mouth, and accepted the greeting. He got the feeling it was some big deal to have Sesshoumaru shake your hand by his own wish.

"I am Sesshoumaru." he purposely ignored the nobility title, sure that the hanyou knew who he was, by his name. Somehow, he didn't feel like forcing any superiority onto this particular… person. Inuyasha said his own name again, and nodded, wide eyed.

After a moment, the demon got out of the way, and Inuyasha headed for the closet, to collect his clothes. He'd meant to move out into his former apartment earlier, but things had been very busy at work, and he didn't have the chance to. Now, this demon was here, and he could feel a little bit of jealousy bite him on the heart. Maybe it was just his ego. Kagome and he were definitely over as a couple, but he still had that urge to protect her. And this one looked like he had icicles shoved down his pants. They might have looked very much alike, but they acted completely different.

Inuyasha threw Sesshoumaru a short look over the shoulder, but the demon wasn't looking at him. He was busy eying the street.

"So where is she?" the hanyou tried to start a conversation. He really wanted to know Sesshoumaru better, so that he could tell exactly what was wrong with him. Something was off with this guy, or… could it be just his imagination?

"Kagome has left to see her father."

"Higurashi-sama? Why?" Inuyasha asked, a little off.

"Apparently, they had unfinished business to attend to." the demon replied evenly. Inuyasha wondered how a high spirited woman like Kagome could fall for a distant person like Sesshoumaru. They were as different as the night was from the day.

"Yeah, she usually leaves stuff open like that." Inuyasha said, as he closed the large bag.

"That's the last of them." he said, as if packing would have been the most difficult task he'd ever performed. Sesshoumaru turned to look at him.

"Have you lived here long?"

Inuyasha looked up at the ceiling for a moment, crossing his arms.

"About a year or so. It was more comfortable that way… But I guess when it comes to relationships, it's better that you keep your options open." the hanyou smiled and Sesshoumaru frowned. What was that supposed to mean? Had this… person cheated on her? Had he hurt her? The youkai felt his temper flare.

"Options?" Sesshoumaru said, like a menacing echo. His calm was far more disturbing to Inuyasha than any kind of threat. The tilting of the demon's head made Inuyasha swallow.

"With the… accommodation, I mean. I've… kept my old apartment as well, so I don't have to look for another one… now." the words flew out of his mouth at a very high rate, making Inuyasha almost cough as he finished. Sesshoumaru narrowed his gold eyes, as he seemed to measure the truth in the hanyou's words. Inuyasha almost backed from the defiant stare of the Lord. He was really impressed that a piece of rock like this guy could win Kagome's heart… and that she could find his. Hey, wait, Kagome could find anyone's heart! Inuyasha felt like smiling, but the frowning on Sesshoumaru's face didn't really give him much space.

Sesshoumaru finally looked away, and Inuyasha got the idea that he was off the hook, for the time being. Boy, was he always like this? The hanyou almost shivered at the eerie feeling he got from the taiyoukai. All those questions he thought he was gonna ask him seemed to vanish into thin air, because Sesshoumaru didn't look like the one to answer them. No matter, he would just have to ask Kagome, then.

:---:

"Sorry I was late, I got stuck talking to Sango at Kazuki's… Inuyasha!" Kagome jumped happily, seeing her friend in the middle of her living room, with his bag all made and ready to leave.

"What are you… 'You leaving? So soon?" she breathed out fast, as she hurried to give him a big lingering hug. Inuyasha closed his arms around her and as usual, lifted her off the floor. Then Kagome gave him a fleeting kiss on the lips, before parting, and holding her hands on his shoulders. Inuyasha seemed a little distraught.

"What?" she said, very cheerful, but the realized her mistake.

"You are home." Sesshoumaru noticed from lack of something to say, more like the purpose of stating the obvious. Kagome felt her arms being pulled down by Inuyasha, and he took a step back from her. He felt a little sorry for having to do that, but as he didn't really know Sesshoumaru and how he saw things, he didn't want to cause trouble for Kagome. Nevertheless, he was going to keep a close look on Lord Icicle, to see if she was to suffer any abuse from him. He looked like the icy appearance-fiery temper type.

"Sesshoumaru… Yes. Kazuki's been very… swift, so to say. He wants us to meet over for dinner, at his place. Tonight. Nothing else accepted." she said in a playful tone. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow, thinking that the command tone was not to his liking.

"Oh, Kazuki's always yankin' my chain, no worries. We'll live through." Kagome smiled and waved at Sesshoumaru, and then turned to Inuyasha. There she was, between two of the three men of her life, and she felt positively joyful. Looking from one to the other, she blinked fast and pulled Inuyasha by the hand, walking towards Sesshoumaru. He took his hand as well, and looked from one to the other again. Finally, she said:

"I really want you two to get along, okay?"

Inuyasha laughed, throwing his head back, and revealing his fangs.

Sesshoumaru merely bowed his head a little, and remained silent.

Kagome got the idea.

:---:

_Three months later_

"I have this stupidly huge appetite, Sango, and I'm gaining weight as we speak. It darn drives me crazy!" Kagome looked out the window, from the sofa where she was sitting with her friend. Her legs were under her, and she had her right palm sustaining her chin, her arm on the edge of the sofa. Sango looked at her with a smile on her face.

"Did you tell him yet?"

Kagome shook her head.

"I didn't wanna do it over the phone. I wanna see his face. Actually, I'd pay to see his face!!" The women giggled and Sango cupped Kagome's cheek, smiling at her.

"You look happy."

"I am." Kagome whispered, as if it would be some great secret. Then she sighed.

"I wish he could be here though." Silence feel heavy in the warm room, and the fire was the only one who broke it, with its cracks and twists.

"Maybe he'll be here tomorrow." Sango tried to mend things.

"But it's Christmas Eve, and he's still in Tokyo. He brought me back here, stayed with me for two months, and then had to leave."

"He's been away for an entire month?" Sango couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew Sesshoumaru had to leave for some time, but she couldn't imagine that it would take so long. Kagome shrugged her shoulders.

"It's a long story. It's been a while since he's gone to see things for himself, over at the office. I understand that it's something he felt he needed to do. But I would still have wanted him here. Especially now." Kagome said slowly, looking out the window again.

The hills at Muncaster were white due to the heavy snowfall from the last week. It had been snowing continuously for three days, then stopped for one day, then started all over again. Now, the snowflakes were so big and crowded, that she couldn't see as far as thirty feet outside. She liked the snow, it was soft and cold, it was clean and always still. Kagome smiled. It was just like him.

"Thanks for coming over this Christmas." Kagome said, looking at her best friend.

"I couldn't have left you all by yourself, now could I?" Sango said, and took a sip from her cup of hot tea. Kagome did the same.

"That jerk you used to have for a boyfriend said he'll be here too, tonight. When he heard you'll be alone on Christmas Eve, he practically jumped from his seat, and rushed to cancel any plans he might have had. He said he couldn't make it earlier than tonight, but he'll be here. So expect to see Inuyasha soon enough. He said he'll call when he arrives at the airport." Sango said, a little skeptical.

"I should send Sabrya to get him. No cab is gonna be on duty tonight." Kagome mumbled into her cup, looking at the clock ticking on the wall. It was 3:45 pm.

"Than weird girl is still here, on Christmas Eve?"

"I don't think she has a family to go home to." Kagome said, absentmindedly, stirring into her teacup. The dim light from the room made the snow outside look even more sparkling, and the snowflakes look like little fairies dancing in the air. Kagome smiled inwardly, thinking that her pregnancy had made her over-sentimental.

"I don't know, she might be a good assistant, or a good driver, or whatever she is, but she kinda gives me the creeps. Those blue eyes, and that perfect face… She's either cold as an icicle or overly excited." Sango raised her eyebrows. Kagome let out a short laugh.

"Yeah, that's what I used to think too. But she's just shy."

"Shy?" Sango almost shouted, unconvinced.

"Yes. As strange as it could seem, she actually is shy. That's why she doesn't know how to act around people. I mean, at the office she's great, because over there, she can follow protocol, and her behavior is very well defined. She has to be professional. But with me… she never knows how to talk to me, even after four months. She's alright though. You kinda get used to her."

"If you say so…" Sango replied, still incredulous. She used to doubt that Kagome would find life at Muncaster suiting, but there had been almost three months since she'd moved here, and she was showing no sign of boredom. She just missed Sesshoumaru. His departure had been imminent, Kagome knew that much, but she wished she would have him home for Christmas. She just didn't feel right without him.

Before he'd left, she didn't realize she was pregnant, so he didn't even know he was going to have a baby. In the last month, she'd gained a little weight, and her body became curvier. Her belly wasn't that swollen yet, not visibly, but she could see her pregnancy, she could feel the baby growing inside of her, and she longed every day to tell him, to see his face and to hear his laugh, at the news. Kagome smiled, looking at the snowflakes.

"We should go shopping for that baby of yours after the New Year, don't you think? And to get some _mom clothes_ for you." Sango said, wishing Kagome wouldn't feel so alone anymore. She could almost punch the demon straight in his perfect nose for leaving her all alone!

"I think we'll have no choice. These clothes will soon fail to cover me anymore." Kagome declared, and they both smiled.

"Did you think of any names?"

Kagome shrugged.

"I don't know it it's a girl or a boy, so…"

"Which would you prefer?" Sango asked with curiosity in her voice.

"I just want my baby to be healthy, to have five fingers on each hand and foot, one cute little nose in the middle of the face, and his dad's eyes." Kagome smiled widely, and Sango raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, yes, Sesshoumaru's eyes… If it's gonna be a boy, he'll have all the girls in the UK running after him within the first ten years of his life. And if it's a girl, _you_'ll have to watch out for all the boys in the UK!"

"Daddy's looks and mommy's temper. Would you imagine that?" Kagome laughed out, passing her fingers through her hair.

Sango widened her eyes.

"Oh dear… Hopefully, your temper won't be transferred entirely to the kid, or we'll have two of you running around lose in the world. Who knows what disaster could emerge from that?"

"Sango! I must protest to that!"

"You must protest? Careful, dear, you begin to sound like an English woman."

"Would that be so bad?"

"Pff! Knowing you… yes!" The women started to laugh very colorful. Soon enough, Kagome's eyes set on a moving dot in the horizon. She couldn't tell what it was, just that something was moving in the distance. She narrowed her eyes and leaned to the window, catching Sango's attention, who looked out the window herself.

"What is it?" the woman asked.

"I'm not sure. Just that… I think there's someone… coming." Kagome said, pausing between words, trying to make out the outline of that person's figure, through the thick curtain of snowflakes falling from the clouds. Her heart started to beat faster and faster, seconds before her eyes could tell her it was him.

"Oh, my God! It's him!" Kagome jumped off the couch, and on her feet, practically running to the door, to get into the main hallway. Sango jumped out of her seat as well, following her friend. From the speed Kagome was picking up, she was sure the crazy woman would go out dressed shallowly like that, and most probably with nothing but her socks on her feet. So she ran after Kagome and pulled her back by her arm just as she struggled to pull the main doors open.

"Kagome. are you nuts? You're gonna freeze out there!"

"I don't care, let go!" Kagome laughed out, anxious. Sango frowned.

"The baby, Kagome!" Sango said, determinedly, and Kagome's rush came to a fast stop, at the words.

"You're right. Gimme the boots." Sango rolled back her eyes, and went to get Kagome's boots, and a long coat. Kagome put them on as fast as she could. She looked awful, in that long, heavy blue dress she wore, the black coat over it, and army boots on her feet, but she couldn't care less. She exited like a bullet through the doors of Muncaster, running across the pavement in front of the castle, and then into the high layer of snow in the garden, fighting to get through it, fighting to get to him.

Sango looked at her friend as she ran through the snow, and shook her head, crossing her arms at her chest.

"Mental, that one!" she whispered, leaning against the doorframe. She could see Sesshoumaru's silhouette now, and Kagome running like a crazy person to reach him. The demon was walking slowly through the high snow, making his way with ease. He wore a long black coat, and his white hair was barely visible in the environment. There was no wind blowing, so the snowflakes rested on his shoulders, and on his hair. His head was a little downcast, so he didn't see Kagome, until she shouted out his name.

"Sesshoumaru!" she yelled, out of breath. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was struggling to make her way through the snow that almost reached her knees. Yet she was smiling, and Sesshoumaru smiled too, when he saw her beautiful eyes sparkling like that, her face shiny from the effort and the surprise.

She didn't make two steps more before he reached her, and Kagome just threw herself over him, knocking him down into the snow. Sesshoumaru fell back with her over his chest, embracing him as tight as she could.

"What are you doing out? You'll get…."

"Oh shut up!" she said, laughing and parting a little from him, to see his face.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" she asked, swiftly, demanding an answer. Sesshoumaru kissed her forehead.

"Surprise." he said calmly, raising an eyebrow.

"Jerk. I missed you." she said, pouting for about two seconds, and then smiling again.

Sesshoumaru gave her a look of intent, and Kagome turned crimson.

"Stop it. Not that way… I mean, that way too, but… Argh! You're a jerk, you know that?"

"So I've been told." As she stood over him, her heartbeat hitting them both in the chest, Sesshoumaru couldn't feel the winter's coldness anymore. She was warm, and… a little different. He couldn't tell what was different about her, but the way she looked was slightly changed.

Kagome kissed him softly, then again, and again, each time more avidly, until their kiss turned into a fiery one, and she thought they were gonna melt the snow around them. She changed her position a little, and her coat parted. Sesshoumaru suddenly broke the kiss, and stared at her. His hands went under her coat, feeling the curves of her body. Kagome breathed heavy, and fast, as his fingers searched her figure.

Kagome sat up on her knees, above him and allowed Sesshoumaru access to her body. Sesshoumaru frowned for a second, more curious than anything else. His hands felt her face, went lower on her neck, and over her breasts, slightly bigger now from the pregnancy. His heart pounded in his chest, as the idea took shape inside his mind. Kagome followed his fiery look, and loved the way it suited him. He _almost_ knew, but he wasn't really sure. The insecurity in his gold eyes made her smile in the corner of her mouth.

Sesshoumaru hated that long; loose dress she had on, which didn't allow him to see her body. So he pulled it up a little and slid his hands under it, caught her hips, and then felt her stomach. The roundness on her body, the glittering look in her violet eyes, and that slight swell in her belly hit him like a hammer, all in the same time. She was pregnant.

His eyes widened at the realization, and a beautiful smile lit his face.

"Surprise." Kagome said, and Sesshoumaru pulled her back down to embrace her gently.

In a moment, he was up, carrying her into his arms.

"It was very reckless of you, to go out dressed like this." Sesshoumaru said. Kagome had her head resting against his chest, and one arm over his neck.

"Stop preaching me, I hate it." she said slowly, not minding though.

"I'm glad you're home." Kagome added.

"I am too." Sesshoumaru replied, as they reached the doors, where Sango was still waiting for them.

"Hello." she said, smiling at him.

"Hello." Sesshoumaru greeted her, putting Kagome down on the floor. He turned and closed the doors behind them.

"Sorry, she was gonna run out in only that dress, I just threw whatever I could find on her!" Sango apologized to the taiyoukai. Sesshoumaru nodded.

"We will have to take better care of her, then." he said, and Kagome huffed on her nose at the news. Nonetheless, the two looked at her very determined to carry out their plan.

:---:

By nightfall, both Inuyasha and Kazuki had arrived at Muncaster, and now they were seated in Kagome's favorite room, the one she'd first met Sesshoumaru in. The tree was all set, and the fire was burning quietly in the fireplace.

Sabrya excused herself after leading the two hanyou men into the room, and turned to leave.

"Sabrya!" Inuyasha's voice sounded in the chamber. Kagome gave him a short look, and then looked at the hanyou woman, who turned hearing her name being called.

Sesshoumaru was engaged into a conversation with Kazuki, and Sango was seated next to Kagome, both watching Sabrya and Inuyasha.

"Won't you stay?" the hanyou said, sitting up and walking towards the blonde woman dressed in a chauffeur's uniform.

Kagome raised an eyebrow, and Sango gave her an accomplice look.

Sabrya smiled and blushed a little.

"I just have to… change my clothes." she said, very shyly. Inuyasha raised his chin in acknowledgement, and then nodded at her.

"Okay."

"Okay." Sabrya said, like an echo. She couldn't place the fast beat of her heart, when she spoke to this man. He was very… _at ease_ all the time, nothing like her. The drive from the airport had been an awkward one for her. He wouldn't stop talking, he'd insisted to sit in the front seat with her, and seemed to like her, for some reason.

Sabrya never thought of herself as a pleasant person. She was either too reserved, or too excited. She could easily offend people without even realizing she was doing it, and for that reason, she didn't have many friends. But Inuyasha seemed not to mind that much. She smiled faintly at him, and went to change her clothes.

Kagome looked at Inuyasha as he sat back down next to her.

Inuyasha raised his dark eyebrows and widened his eyes.

"What?" Kagome unsuccessfully tried to hold back her smile.

"Nothing." she said, cheerfully.

"Nothing at all." Sango added, taking a sip from her teacup.

"Stop it you two." Inuyasha threatened.

"She just seemed lonely, that's all." he continued.

"Uh-huh!" the women both nodded, each looking in their respective cups.

"Kagome, stop it, I mean it!" he said again, his menacing tone having absolutely no effect on the young woman. She giggled, and looked away, on the ceiling, on the walls, at the Christmas tree, anywhere but at the flaming hanyou. She knew he was embarrassed, and with good reason. But she liked the idea of him and Sabrya together. Yes, she really did.

.. .. .. THE END .. .. ..


End file.
